It was just one more day, one more regular and boring day, it’s been like this for like a year, since the day I started living by myself.
There’s where my life got all messed up, one and a half year ago my mom kicked me out of home, I’ve never had much friends in school so I was completely alone.
I grew up with serious depression, tried to kill myself twice, my mom always cared for me until I did that to her, I can’t believe I could be so stupid, anyway, life moves on, just me, my sad songs and my apartment filled with chocolate bars and magazines... lately it’s the only thing that makes feel a little bit good.
“Bye Mary!” says my colleague as I live the restaurant where I work.
“Bye Susan” I say almost whispering.
My work schedule is so bad, there are days when I leave at 7 AM and only come back home like 11 PM, is so unfair and so not worthy but it’s the only job I could get without a college degree. Yes, I never went to college, I had to live in my car for some time after all that situation, I had some school friends of course but they weren’t close enough to let me stay in their houses.
Some time later after graduation I could find this job and now at least I have some place to live.
Today was Friday which means it was my therapy day, I see a therapist once a week and it’s the only way I can keep from hurting myself.
So I drove all the way back to the center of the town where my therapist office is.
I walked my way up through the stairs and entered the office after knocking at the door 3 times as always.
“Come in Mary” says this weirdly sweet male voice from inside the office, that was Dr. Richards, my therapist.
“Hi” I salute as I sit in his big black chair.
“So Mary, I was your week?” he asks as always.
“Fine...” I always say this “I felt a little empty, but it’s always like this”
“You’ve been talking your medicine don’t you?”
“Yes Dr. Richards, everyday, twice a day as you said” I reply.
“Good...” he kind of compliments “Now talk me about that emptiness”
“Well, I don’t know, sometimes everything seems so pointless, I come home and I have no one to tell how my day was, I keep watching the same shows on television, the only thing that makes me feel good is chocolate, like....it doesn’t matter to any one if I’m alive, I’m a no one, I’m invisible to the world, well, at least I’m not that important to anyone...”
“Don’t you know anyone at work?” He asks....again....
“I know one or two girls but they are much older than me and have husbands and some of them kids, they don’t have time for me and let’s be honest I’m not that interesting, I only know about TV shows and movie characters...”
“I bet that there are people who like the same things as you do Mary”
“I know, but they’re all internet people and I think it’s to dangerous to tell someone to meet me, like, they don’t even know my real name and I want to keep it that way...”
“Well Mary, our time is coming to an end, is there anything else you want to tell me?”
“Well, I started to cry every day again” I say embarrassed.
He didn’t say a thing, just wrote it down in his little notebook and waved with his hand as I made my way out of his office.
author’s note: English is not my native language so if I wrote anything wrong let me know, also don’t forget to vote and comment what you think ;)