When I woke up and discovered I had been sucking on Carlos’ thumb, I was embarrassed as well as mortified. I haven’t done that ever since my nightmares stopped. I guess the little panic attack made the habit come back. It just helps me know that I’m not in the place I am dreaming about if I actually feel something from my normal reality.
I wouldn’t mind as much if it was my thumb. I’d feel a bit less self-conscious. But it wasn’t my thumb. It was Carlos’ . What must he think of me? A freak. A wimp. A baby. I mean who would do that? I just keep on embarrassing myself.
And the panic attack I had in front of him as well. Oh bananas. I didn’t think him caging me like that would trigger something so private and uncomfortable to me.
It must have been uncomfortable for him as well. All he was doing was laying above me while we were having an intimate moment. And then out of nowhere ,for a reason he wouldn’t know, I’m having a panic attacks. He must have seen me as a pitiful little scaredy-cat that can’t even handle having a man on top of me without somehow just about dying.
Oh donuts. I just registered he was on top of me. We were having an intimate moment. Well it was intimate to me at least. I don’t know about him. He was touching and making me feel strange, good things I had never had anyone do or make me feel before. It was weird. My brain wasn’t in control of anything I was doing.
And the noise that left my mouth were a mystery to me as well. Carlos seemed to find them satisfactory. He would groan and kiss my neck. Sometimes bite it and then soothe it with his lips and tongue. That made it even more pleasurable. He was so gentle with me.
Are those sounds normal to make in that point of time? I have never done that before. That was my first time being so close and sexual with someone. I didn’t necessarily know what to do.
He just made me feel so special and good that I couldn’t stop what I did. It was like my body had taken the whole control from my brain. I was in no control. I just wanted him to help me relieve the burning tingly sensation in my kitty. It was suffocating. And he was only intensified them when he was slowly trailing his hand up my leg. That didn’t help one bit.
I was soo embarrassed when he felt the wet mixture on my thigh. But ,when he explained to me what it was and why I did that, I felt a little less embarrassed but more awkward. I didn’t realise I was enjoying what he was doing that much.
It all went south when I told him I had already tasted it. He was just so angry. It triggered a whole bunch of memories I wished not to remember.
The way he handled and calmed me down made me feel a whole lot of gratitude and adoration for him. Hardly anyone is able to calm me down but this mysterious alluring man I had only known for 24 hours could. I would forever be confused and grateful for that.
We arrived at the kitchen. My hand was still in Carlos’. I looked and saw everyone but Carlos’ family in the room. I tried to tug my hand away but he just held me tighter and sent me a look that said stop-or-you-won’t-like-what-I-do-to-you. I instantly stopped and began shuffling on my feet.
He put his other hand ,that wasn’t engulfing mine, on my cheek and sent me a soft smile. It made me feel better knowing he wasn’t mad at me. I sent one back before beginning to skip to my seat at the table. He just chuckled behind me.
Daddy looked up from his laptop and smiled when he saw us. His smile grew wider when he saw our entwined hands. He slid his glass off and closed his laptop.
“Ahh Rosie. It’s nice to see I didn’t have to send Antonio up this time to wake you up. Don’t want another remake of yesterday ,do we now son?”
Antonio stopped midway ,while grabbing the syrup to drizzle on his pancakes, and looked up at me hesitantly. I had no idea how daddy knew that. I didn’t tell him.
“Rose you said you wouldn’t tell him if I gave you your apple juice back. We even shook on it. You broke the handshake of secrecy and trust.” He had a look of disbelief and sadness on his face. I don’t know if he was joking or not. He looked serious.
“I-I didn’t Tony. I-I swear I didn’t. I w-would never b-break our handshake o-of secrecy a-and trust. I swear.” My eyes were wide with alarm and I squeezed Carlos’ hand tighter to make sure he was still there. His presence calmed me strangely.
He must have sensed my distress and worry as he pulled me closer to him and partially hid me behind his back in a protective stance. I hugged his arm and pressed my cheek into it.
“Oh shit Rose. I’m so sorry. I was only joking. I know you would never disrespect and break our handshake. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you. I’m not mad at you.” He stood up from his chair and had the same look on his face as he did yesterday. He looked like a puppy again.
“You look like a puppy again. Tony. My little puppy.” I giggled. Everything earlier had been forgotten.
He sat back down with a smile.
“We’ve gone over this I’m not a puppy Lavender. I’m a hot handsome man.”
“And Tony we have gone over this. We don’t lie in front of Rosie. We are not trying to teach her to be liar, are we now?”
He looked over at Tony in amusement. They loved to argue and have banter sometimes. Its hilarious.
Tony over-dramatically gasped and placed his hand over his heart.
“How dare you? I am a handsome fellow. I suppose I do get my looks of you if I aren’t.”
Josie and Max bursted out laughing and light smirk appeared on Carlos’ face.
“You did not just say that. That was good Ant.” Max lifted his hand in the air and Tony high-fived it.
Daddy rolled his eyes and then turned towards me and Carlos. He had a smile as well.
“And about earlier. I only knew because ,first of, you-”
He pointed to Tony
“-came down with a large red mark on your head and kept rubbing it in pain before you left for school. And second of you-”
He then pointed to me.
“-kept doing the same thing at breakfast and I guessed the only reason I couldn’t see you’re red mark was because you covered it with that silly cosmetic stuff girls like to lather their faces with nowadays.”
“It’s called make up Uncle Chris. M-A-K-E-”
“Yes yes Josie. I’m sure I know how to spell” he peered up at her and she just laughed.
“Just making sure. I mean you are getting old. You may be forgetting things.” He raised his eyebrows and then just shook his head.
“I’m not that old Jo. I’m sure I’ve not forgotten you’re 6th birthday.” It was Josie’s time to widen her eyes.
I began giggling while dragging Carlos over to the fridge. We could still hear the chatter of Josie and Daddy behind us. I just giggled again. I knew they were arguing because of what daddy said. Josie never likes to talk about her 6th birthday. It was disastrous.
We all went horse-riding and well Josie was on a horse with her mom but wanted to try for herself so ,after a lot of persuasion, her parents let her. It was all going fine until a large truck went by and scared the horse. It went on his hind leg and threw her off. She broke her left wrist as well as her right ankle. It was horrifying. Uncle Robbie still has a video of it and we all watch it on her Birthday.
I do feel sorry for her. It must have really hurt. I know it hurt when I broke my elbow when Tony pushed me off a table. But she broke her wrist and her ankle. She must have been in a lot of pain.
“What happened on her 6th birthday?” Carlos questioned while I grabbed a carton of apple juice from the fridge.
“I’m n-not allowed to t-tell you. Josie’s r-rule.” I looked at him and he had an eyebrow raised. He does a lot of the things Daddy does. Do all men do them things? Antonio does them too but I just thought it was because he was daddy’s son.
“Okay whatever you say.” He laughed. I grabbed my bag and put the apple juice in as well as the lunch that Mrs Greyson had made for me and placed it on the side.
Talking about Mrs Greyson, she entered the kitchen with a basket of laundry that looked like it belonged to Antonio.
“Ah sweetheart. How did you sleep last night?” She asked kindly. Her eyes were soft and a sweet smile adored her lips.
I blushed at the memory of how I woke up. When I peered behind her to look at Carlos, he had a sly smile on his face.
“I s-slept wonderfully M-Mrs Greyson.”
“Well that’s brilliant darling but you might want to be more careful next time.” I was confused. Why would I need to be careful?
“W-What do y-you mean I n-need to be more c-careful?” I questioned. Her smile now had a mischievous aspect to it.
“Well I came in this morning ,like I usually do a 5am, to get your laundry and we’ll let’s just say there was more than one person in your bed.” My eyes widened and a blush painted my cheeks. Carlos just chuckled.
Mrs Greyson made her way out the kitchen but not before sending me a wink. That made me blush more.
“Stop l-laughing Charlie. I-It’s not f-funny.” I said nastily. I was surprised by how that came out. I instantly regretted it when I saw his smile drop and began to apologise.
Carlos walked up to me and winded his arm around my waist pulling me into his chest. My hands landed on his chest and my eyes widened at the closeness of us. His other hand grabbed my chin and roughly lifted it up to look into his eyes.
“Don’t use that tone on me little girl unless you want me to take you back up to that room, bend you over my lap and spank you raw. Do you understand?” I blushed. I instantly nodded my head not wanting to making him madder.
I wasn’t scared of his right now. Frankly, it was quite the opposite. I enjoyed him being this way with me. That was what scared me. I enjoyed him controlling me and that wasn’t normal ,especially since I had just met him.
“Use your words little girl.”
His thumb began moving against my lower lip and then he leaned down and took it in his mouth. He was still making direct eye contact with me and that made it even more heated and intimidating. I squeezed my thighs together to get rid of the slowly growing sensation that had appeared in my kitty.
He rolled my lip in his teeth before releasing it. “Y-yes Carlos.” He smiled and once again pecked my lips. I blushed for the thousand time this minute.
He leaned into my ear and whispered “good my sweet Angel.”
We began to stare into each others eyes for about 15 seconds before we were interrupted by Daddy shouting for me in the dining room.
“Rosie sweetheart. I’m leaving now. It’s 7 so you might want to take Carlos to his house to grab his school stuff. Jo and Max have already left in their car. Smithy is waiting for you outside.”
I pulled away from Carlos’ arm and walked back. I tried to shield my face with my hair but then realised it was up so I just fiddled with the jumper I was wearing to avoid having to look at Carlos.
“Okay daddy.“I said softly. I saw Carlos tightened his fist at what I said. Did I say something wrong? Is he mad at me? I sent him a worried look and he relaxed. He grabbed my bag of the side and came up to me and took hand.
“Come on let’s go Angel.” He said firmly.
Why did I nearly call him daddy? He just sounded so much like my dad then. Ordering me around. Donuts Lavender. Who calls someone Daddy? I mean to people in your books do but you shouldn’t.
Carlos stopped in his tracks and had to take a deep breath.“Are you okay Charlie?“I questioned trying to make the fact I nearly called him daddy go away.
He slightly nodded his head and then led me to the door. He opened it and stood to the side letting me walk out first. I sent him a small smile and his eyes softened and the viciously hold he had on his jaw relaxed. I dragged him over to Smithy and like usual he was beside my door opening it.
“Morning Miss Lavender. You’re looking beautiful as usual. I see you’re wearing jeans today.” He looked at my jeans.
Did he not like them? Did they make me look bad? Why would be point it out if they didn’t? I should of just worn a skirt today. I’m sure Carlos wouldn’t have let what happened with Blake happen again. I mean he said it wouldn’t. Maybe I should go change. I squeezed Carlos’ hand and began leaning back into his chest.
“Do you have a problem with that? She can wear what she wants.” Carlos nearly growled at him.
He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled my back impossibly closer to him. Smithy looked at Carlos and sent him a small smile but you could clearly see it was forced. He then looked at his arm and stared at it in anger and disgust.
“Absolutely not. And I completely agree. She should wear what she wants but I’m just a bit surprised. Everyday, I’ve seen Miss Lavender wear a skirt. I’m wondering if she didn’t feel comfortable wearing one today because of some... issues.” He eyed Carlos up and I felt him stiffen behind me.
“What are you trying to say? I make her uncomfortable. If I were you, I would watch what you were saying befo-” I placed my hand on his arm that was around my waist and he looked down at me. His hardened eyes soften.
“It’s okay Charlie. C-calm down.”
I looked at Smithy and just smiled as well. However, the look of anger didn’t disappear.
“It looked a-a bit cold t-today so I thought I’d w-wear jeans. Now c-can we please get going?”
Smithy stiffly nodded and stood near the door. I got in the car and then Carlos got in. Smithy slammed the door shut and I jumped because of the sudden sound. Carlos brought me closer to him and placed his arm around my shoulder.
“It’s alright angel. Now let’s put your seatbelt on.” His other arm stretched over me and grabbed the seatbelt. He pulled it down and connected it to the end. “There we go.”
I noticed he didn’t have his on so I stretched over his large body and grabbed his seatbelt.
“What are you doing angel?” I looked at him and pulled his seat belt to the end and clipped it in.
“I’m p-putting your s-seatbelt on Charlie. Y-You’ve got to be safe t-to.” I sat back down on the chair.
Carlos had a sweet smile on his face. He pulled me in closer to him to my forehead was on his shoulder. He kissed my head and mumbled a small thank you into my hair. That’s how we stayed the whole car ride to his house.