Don't Stay Close to Me

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Rich was called to go home early.

Mike needs to attend the practice of the school choir.

Shane was fetched by his father;

And, I was left here alone. And I don’t want to go home yet. So, I bought a cup of cappuccino and gait around the campus. Feeling so empty I pulled out my earphones, plugged it in my iPhone and played the music so loud that it could deafen me. Enjoying the solitude and letting my feet lead me anywhere, I reached the point of stopping. A familiar face was walking towards my direction. I can’t be mistaken, his hair, the way he walks and—the way he smiles; that shouldn’t be him but I can’t deny, it is him. My heart is throbbing, beating the loud music.

Snapping out of my surprise, I paced back intending to avoid them. On the second thought, why should I avoid them? That’s nonsense! So, I took my iPhone and stopped the music but I didn’t remove my earphones. Then, I started to walk by them pretending that I haven’t seen them ahead. Whatta act!

“Hey, Jadyn!” I heard a voice. I paced two steps forward pretending not to hear it clearly then, jerked my head as I removed the earphone on my right ear, faking a surprise look.

“Krizia, I’m sorry I didn’t notice you.” I said, posing a deceiving smile. ‘BAD, JADYN!’ My brain scolded. ‘Yeah, right.’ I thought.

“It’s okay, I just want to say hi and ask how you are doing.”

“Oh. I’m okay. Doing great. How about you?”

“Just fine. Well, we’ll go ahead.”

“Sure. Take care.”

“Thanks, you, too.”

“Uh-huh.” I kept my smile until she finishes waving a good bye on me.

Their hands are held tight together even while walking. They are so sweet. And it breaks my heart. But what really crashes it is that he can’t even look at me or even say a word.

For four years—I’ve been trying to forget about Gin, my first love. It wasn’t meant to be like that if he didn’t say he liked me, I wouldn’t fall for him, right? Who am I fooling? —he’s this kind, gentleman type of guy, it is not hard to fall for him. We tried to be friends. We’re really on it, though we both know we like each other; however, things get rough. People around me held me back by saying that what we had that time will lead to nothing. I’ve learned a lot about him; that said he said ‘I like you’ to many girls before and he is a silent player, but it didn’t affect me. Though his girlfriend and I stated communicating we were still okay. But I guess, it is not meant to be like that, he started to ignore my texts and I, too started ignoring him for some unknown reasons, maybe because of love—and pain.

Then, there was a point that we had a confrontation. I confessed. But he was silent and I can see in his eyes that he doesn’t like me the way I do, and it crashed me from pieces to dust. And so, I decided to turn away.

I did expect him to stop me and ask for friendship but he didn’t do anything. He let me go. And we started ignoring each other. I am willing to reconcile but I think he’s not.

His girlfriend: Krizia and I are friends and I know she knows I loved his boyfriend, though. Because I told her before I told him. And maybe I should be thankful that she’s not a freaky over possessive girlfriend and I know she’s sure that Gin can’t leave her because he loves her so much.

This love is really tormenting me for four years now. I hope this year will be its end, I really hope so…

I was driving home when I stopped wondering about it. It’s passed five o’clock when I reached home. As what I’ve expected, they’re already at home this time.

“Dinner’s ready.” Mom called out.

“I’ll be back after I clean myself.” I responded.

“Hurry up! Its beef stew for dinner!” My Dad motivated.


After dinner, we had our usual movie marathon bonding. When I reached my room, I pushed the door open and let myself slump on the bed and took a deep and sound sleep without minding to fix myself or close the door. Lazy me! Or just sleepy.

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