Love passion hunger

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3. White eyes

Brontide - The low rumble of distant thunder.

''Lilian thank god!'' I am embraced in my mother's chest as she continues to ramble about how irresponsible of me it was to run off like that.

''Mom, mom, look I am completely fine,'' I shrug her hands off me and twirl around and sliding my hands in my coat, ''see even my outfit is intact.''

''Young lady, I don't care if you think that this is ok but do you know what both of you do to my precocious nerves?'' Rolling my eyes at her dramatics, I cannot see the problem for just having a bit of fun.

For that, I get a smack over my head.

''Ou! What was that for mother?'' rubbing my now bruised head I throw a nasty glare to Robert for laughing like a hyena at my lecture.

''Don't start that, you know I hate that and Robert let's not start talking about how you should behave.'' My mother is a smart woman. I can guarantee that but when she starts to use her wisdom to get Robert and me in our place - she can get a bit, no scratch that, she IS scary.

''Ok enough of that. Let's continue.'' Mother dearest walks away like nothing happened, ''I said let's go!''

The only responds is two big babies whining and groaning but still listening to there mother.

~§~

Am I really that horrific at being a lady? What did I do to that person to deserve that kind of treatment?

Have you looked in the mirror recently? My subconscious decides to join the conversation.

Well... yes. What do you mean by that?

Who would want someone to bump into them while looking like that?

I look good today, thank you very much.

Really? Have you looked at your face and lets not start talking about your hair and how m-

~§~

''Honey are you all right?'' seeing my mother's worried expression leads me that I have yet again zoned out.

''Yes of course, why would I not?'' I try to dismiss her but to no luck.

''Really? You look a bit pale. Maybe you have a cold?'' She again starts to ramble about things that I honestly do not understand, ''I need to call your father. This have to be a sign to not let you go to school.'' That finally got me out of my trance.

''Mom it is all right ok. I am a bit worried that is all.''

''Are you sure. We could just wait, don't you think?'' The look on her face full of hope that I will agree to stay at home so they could just marry me to a rich husband without even knowing the gifts that the world holds.

Sometimes you just have to put down your foot if you really want something.

Therefore, with a hand on my hips I try to look the most daunting I could master. ''No, mother, I have begged to experience one your of public school, just one year to try to at least act like a normal teenager. So if we are here buying school supplies,'' I wave my hands to prove my point, ''I will go to school and not even a silly cold will stop me.''

The only thing in my mother's face is plastered shock.

I try to not talk back and always be sweet and dainty but if you do that all the time, it honestly is exhausting.

Mom sobers up from her shocked stage. ''Alright sweetie but remember if anything bad happens you are out of that school faster than you can say – blabbering.'' With a threating finger but a light chuckle from both of us, she dismisses.

Hooking or elbows my mother drags me to our next stop completely forgetting or conversation.

As we try to look for Robert, I feel like I am being watched. Nevertheless, there stare is uncomfortable. Like being thrown in a cold lake or a deep pond.

I feel cold.

There stare is shivering.

It's almost like a cold blanked that has been thrown on top of me.

I feel like I am being held down.

Their stare makes me feel utterly disgusting – like there are invading my privacy.

I feel their burning stare raking my body piece by piece. Stopping at my bottoms and legs.

I cannot breathe.

Their stare is like a snake that has wrapped itself around my neck - a devil in disguise, not letting me go, tightening as I try to escape.

I want to breathe.

I want it to stop.

I hate it.

Stop.

Just... please... stop.

I feel my tears clouting my sight. Like a curtain closing after an opera or a ballet performance. Only then, people cheer and clap in delight – now – its screams and hollows of terror.

It is blurry.

I cannot see.

I hate it!

Please... someone... just... stop! Let me breathe.

I can feel their hands touching me like a cold shadow only in the places it touched – it is hot, no no no, it burns, it scorches, it hurts.

Like being thrown in snow and fire at the same time.

I see Robert standing near the videogames section and in no time, I throw my hands over his neck hoping to seek some protection, some warmth, and some safety.

''Whoa, Li, are you alright?'' don't say anything, they will think your weak.

I quickly wipe the lone tear that has slipped from my prison of emotion.

I look up to him trying to fake one of my sweetest smiles. ''Of course! I just wanted to give you a hug.'' I hug him tighter, almost like trying to mend or bodies together. I just don't want to feel there stare. I don't want to be in there traps like a little mouse. ''You are squishy.'' I mumble trying to distract myself.

Robert scoffs at that idea. ''I can only be handsome.'' Puffing his chest out and flexing his arms – Robert is a decent person. He is tall, muscular and funny. Giggling I burry my head in his chest.

''No, you are my teddy bear.''

Shaking his head he releases me from his warm embrace and mumbles something along the lines of – You are the only one that can get away with this –.

Giggling at his statement. ''And that's because you love me.''

The look of complete disbelief and ruffle on my head. ''And tell me: How could I not love this tiny human being.''

''Ou shut it.'' Swatting his hand away, I see our carts full with things that most likely will be lost or not used.

I feel like a toy – used for entertainment and thrown for the next one –.

Looking in my terror direction, I see a face and looking in those eyes – white like the snow – and feel the snake rapping itself around me again only know.

Looking at the person I see it mouthing – I will see you again -.

So many emotions hits me at ones, just like the snake finally let me go but only to bite and let in me the venom it holds.

It hurts.

However, I do not know what.

It just hurts.

Finally getting my voice back, I scream the loudest I have ever.

However, as the scream comes the dark just like brontide after a storm invades my mind faster – I welcome it.

I finally found peace and my breath.

---

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