32 | the cries
I quickly snapped my mouth shut and leaned away from the front window where I could see everything like a movie. It was gruesome and I didn't understand how anyone could find joy in this. They were all crazy and the craziest one was my husband.
"Donna," the driver said. I didn't look at him. I just stared at my lap so I didn't have to see them. "I think you should look at this." And just when he finished, there was an ear-splitting scream and out of reflex, I looked up.
One of the worst mistakes of my life.
Flames teared down his skin as he flared around trying to find relief but no avail. The fire was burning him whole as the men he once called friends sneered at him. The man stood up and ran around but everyone moved away, none helping him. I paled and I wanted to go help him but my body was frozen. They were burning him to death.
I suddenly remembered the oaths and the words that were said by made men. 'As burns this saint, so will burn my soul. I shall enter alive and leave as dead.'
When the needle is pricked on the man's trigger finger and he is turned from being just him to us, the man will be warned of breaking the oaths. A portrait of a saint is burned to conjoin the men together. This made man had touched me without the will of the man who owned me. He had broken the oath and the punishment would've been less severe if he had done it to someone else. However, the Don was never merciful and he needed to set an example. Do not touch another brother's woman, just like the oaths say, or bear the consequences.
I looked away as bile raised in my throat. The driver snickered at my reaction but I paid him no mind. I didn't even look when I heard the screaming stop as he, too, fell off the bridge, committing suicide as he could not bear the pain.
I didn't dare look away from my hands that I quickly slammed on my face. I didn't care what people thought of me right now. I didn't care if my husband would beat me later but I couldn't help it. My body shook as I cried. I was glad the windows were tinted but the driver was there. He had purposely shown me this. I couldn't protect anyone. Not Jasmine and not my sister.
My husband burned the man before forcing him to commit suicide as the pain was intolerable. Yes, the man had touched me. Yes, the man was a bastard and a bloody criminal but he didn't deserve to burn, did he? Antonio wasn't the one who made or changed the rules. He was just the one who enforced it. He may be the Don but even he did not hold that much power to change things. One could change rules, not the mindset of people. All he could do was make it a little better.
The car door opened to the side and I gagged at the burning stench that came with him. He merely glanced at me before we started moving again. The driver reversed the car and I caught the sight of the men cleaning up the mess and picking up any proof they left.
I just wanted to go home and take a shower again. Everything was so gruesome and filled with terror. I knew I was going to have nightmares for months. First I witness myself in an accident with the intention of murder and today I had to witness the prostitution ring as well as heart wrecking murders. I didn't know whether to be sad for Jasmine, my former classmate, or worry about the children and women.
I wanted to ask Antonio why he had killed her. I wanted to know what was the point of showing me all this. Was it to tell me that snitching is not tolerable and escaping is no option? No, how could he know about Arianna's plan? That wasn't possible.
Women who wished to see a future or make their own identity were killed, usually with acid. I didn't want that future for Arianna. It would be a painful and gruesome death but I also didn't know how to tell my husband without him punishing her. I could only hope Arianna wouldn't do anything stupid. There was no way out.
I couldn't die without ruining my family's life and I couldn't live in peace either. At least, I could try to make mends with it. But everything had a limit! And I didn't ask my life to show me a murder this vile. I wanted to get out.
God, I was so bipolar.
Would Sophia help me if I told her the truth? Her father was an FBI agent.
As we sped out of the bridge and on the way to the mansion, I chided myself for being so stupid and even thinking of escaping. But what if I had no choice?
I was silent all the way. Even when we went inside I was barely conscious to ask him if he needed anything or to wait for him. I just went up to our room and sauntered into the bathroom. I felt utterly dirty and used for someone's sick enjoyment. Whether it be my husband or the men around me, they were all heartless and sick. I couldn't expect anything more from the women either. Rather than keeping their man in check, they fight with other women.
The shower was cold but I couldn't bring myself to care. With cold tears sliding down my cheeks I broke down. Sobs raked through my body as I slid down the cold tiles of the shower wall. It didn't matter if someone saw me. All that mattered was that I witnessed two gruesome murders that I would never be able to get out of my mind. They would haunt me forever and bring me even more night terrors. Covering my face with my hands, I cried. My body shook uncontrollably as I broke down into pieces.
I didn't know what to do. Talking to anyone was forbidden. Telling someone my feelings would get them hurt. Bolting it all up would make me selfish and attempt self-harm. I screamed into my fist. I didn't understand what to do. I didn't know how to live without this constant fear.
To me living like this was horrid. At least at Father's house he never bothered to involve me in anything. Sex trafficking, drugs, murders and so much more was a life I did not ask for. I felt like I was constantly whining and if anyone knew then they'd teach me a lesson. I had learnt enough of those. I couldn't tell anyone. Not my husband and not my sister.!
The urge to run away was at its peak. I wanted to. I really did but then my mother and sister face stopped me. I wouldn't even be able to get a foot out of this prison before I was caught. With the bodyguards around here and the high security, it was impossible. But it wasn't just all that anymore. Alessia was here too and I couldn't leave them in a house full of men. Brothers or not they were mafiosi of the Giordano Family. I had to be with her to guide her in this strange world she was so oblivious to. She was as innocent as a baby here and she didn't deserve to be left alone. I had to stay strong.
I smeared the water on my face and stood up. The shower tap was still running. I turned it off and stepped out of the stand up shower, grabbing a white towel from the cupboard. I knew I didn't bring any clothes and I was hoping that Antonio was not in the walk-in closet.
But luck was really not on my side today because there he stood, leaning against the dressing table in just a pair of sweatpants as I walked into the closet wrapped in just a towel.