My past life.
Okay, I lied. My head is paining, but that is not the reason I want to get away from all these people. The real reason is because the pain inside of me has taken the better of me. And I cannot take it anymore.
I go to the bathroom and cry my eyes out. My head is aching and my body hurts, tears are flowing like waterfalls from my eyes, and all I can do now is nothing. I have no idea of how I survived the whole day but right now, all flashbacks of what happened today are appearing in my mind.
I go lay down in his bed, making his pillow wet due to all the crying.
“Haley? What’s wrong babe? Why are you crying?” Reece quickly turns me over to his side with a shocked face.
To be continued...
I quietly turn towards him wiping the tears from my left cheek as he does the same for my right.
“Babe? Are you okay? What is going on?” He looks so concerned.
I think the best thing to do is to tell him the truth. It would make me feel better too. At least I think it would.
“No Reece, I am not... I... There is something that I want to tell you babe...” I gulp hard.
He sits down and nods for me to continue so I do.
“Alright so I think I should start from the beginning... Back in my home town, I had a best friend. His name was Zach. Zach Ryder and he was nine months older to me. We were childhood besties. We both used to do every single thing together. Literally. Go to school, attend same classes sit next to each other during lunch break, come back from school, play together, and hang out together and everything else together. Our parents were happy with our friendship and it bought them close too. We had even been to five holiday vacations together. Which is kind of a lot to be honest. Zach and I, we were childhood besties, and then we grew up to be lovers.
“It was the age of thirteen that I realized that Zach loved me more than a best friend. He was ready to give away his life for me. And for me, I always wanted a guy who was at least a little like Zach if not Zach himself. We were sitting under the oak tree in the park near his house after dinner around 10 and it was almost the fourteenth anniversary of our friendship, we were both excited. Giggling and playfully joking about nothing in general. When it was twelve, we both wished and hugged each other. I had a huge grin on my face, I was so happy you know?
“He then caught hold of both my hands and looked straight into my eyes, which I found normal as it was normal. We used to walk hand in hand. To be honest, girls were jealous of me being his best friend as he spent all his time with me and we kind of did act like a couple now that I think of it... like catching hands, sitting together alone during lunch, etc... And they were also jealous of our friendship because we always had each other’s back. Which was cool. Hence, when he had caught my hand, I didn’t think too much of it.
“I have to confess though that I did blush a little as I kind of had an idea what he was about to say, but when he started to speak, my blush turned into a huge grin.
“He said, ‘Hales I really don’t know how this happened or when this happened but I do know that it has happened and I cannot stop it. I love you Haley, more than a best friend. I want to protect you from everything that may hurt you and I want to give you everything you ever want. I really love you from the bottom of my heart Haley bear and I promise I will never break your heart.’ After hearing this, it was my first instinct that I kissed him and there was his answer.
“We started dating, but it all seemed the same with just kissing adding up to all the couple-y things that we did and the boyfriend and girlfriend name tag to us. We were both really happy with our lives Reece. We were the couple goals for everyone because even though we were now in a relationship, our best friendship never changed. It only got stronger. Everything between us was perfect.
“We used to have those cute and romantic movie dates, picnic dates, dinner dates and just fun dates like the going to the fair, having a full game day like playing board games, video games or the laser shadow.
“Once when his cousin, Rebecca, shifted to a house three hours away, he re-introduced me to her, and I thought that she was really pretty. We instantly became good friends and whenever we had the chance or whenever she came to visit we used to have a lot of fun.
“One thing that I used to do a lot was to take sneaky candid pictures of Zach. I loved to do that and he did not mind because I made sure he looked on point in every one of them. That was our kind of thing. Our kind of love in our own little world. We were both so happy with each other.
“And then one day, when I was almost turning 14 and he was 15, we lost our virginity to each other almost two months before my birthday in June. We were both really happy about it. Nothing was awkward at all you know. Nothing at all.” I wiped a tear.
“Shh. It’s fine. Continue when you are ready...” Reece silently consoling me.
“Eve- everything was fine Reece, but then... on 24th of July, Rebecca was invited to a party...
“Haley bear, let’s go out somewhere for dinner.” Zach came into my room wearing nothing but sweat pants. I loved the view.
“Where to?” I asked?
“Pizza!” He yelled and started digging through my closet.
“Yayyyyy!” I shouted in happiness.
He threw a pair of denim shorts and a black t shirt towards me telling me to change and took a shirt of his out too to wear for himself.
What a nice boyfriend I have. Like in every normal relationship the girl has to think what would be appropriate and perfect to wear on the date but in my case, I never have to worry about what to wear to look good on a date because my boyfriend himself chooses my outfit, so obviously he must be liking it to choose it. I think it is cute though.
And Zach never fails to impress me with his mix and matching of my outfits with each other. So I am happy.
“Yes sir.” I change quickly and we go to have pizza on his bike. It was around six thirty in the evening.
“Let’s just take take out and continue binging AHS at yours?” I ask taking in the fresh breeze flowing making my hair fly like crazy.
“Good idea.” He says.
“AHS!” I fist bump the air.
“Wohoo!” He does the same and I smile hugging him from behind. He smells so damn good.
We reach and wait in line to order.
Zach tightens our already intertwined fingers and kisses me on my forehead.
“I love you.” He says.
“And I love YOU.” I emphasize on you grinning like an idiot.
It was soon our turn and we ordered the pizza that we wanted. My favorite and his too. OUR favorite.
On our way back I called Nick.
“Hey Nick.” I said.
“Yea? What’s up?” He asked.
“Just took take-out pizza. Okay listen I probably will stay the night at Zach’s, so please make sure to lock the doors as mum will be working late in the hospital alright?” I tell him.
“Uh... okay fine. Enjoy. See ya.” He hung up.
We quickly headed back to Zach’s house and put on Netflix, ready to watch American Horror Story. There was so much pizza. I was so excited to dig in.
Back at my home when we were binging on the season one of AHS, we were eating popcorn and chocolate chip cookies.
Zach’s parents along with Rebecca’s had gone for a movie and then were going for dinner like a double date. It was cute how they still had dates.
And Rebecca was at her friend’s house getting ready for a party that she was attending tonight that she was invited to. So Zach and I were all alone. And it was around 7:30 when we started watching AHS.
We were all cozied up eating pizza and were through with almost the first four episodes of the 2nd season when Zach got a call from Rebecca.
He paused it making me whine, it was getting so interesting.
“Yes Beck?” he asked sweetly.
“Are you okay..? You sound drunk Beck....?” Zach sounded worried. He put the call on speaker mode for me to hear as well.
"Zach can you... yes I got drunk. Don’t tell ma please. My ride... my ride is gone... come and... Zach pick me up. Please...” Rebecca sounded like she was really drunk.
Zach gave me a sad look and I just nodded knowing that it is better to get her home first.
“Okay what’s the address I’ll come” He said.
“Rory’s house. Thank you so much Zachy boo.” She said and the call ended.
“Damn Rory’s house is 45 minutes from here.” Zach said.
“Hey only 8 minutes of this episode is left... let’s complete it and then you go?” I bit my lip and asked.
“Haley... you know how Beck is. She may end up doing something stupid like get pregnant or something and god forbid if that happens...”
“Okay. I know you’re right. Go ahead I’ll wait. Call me once you reach there.” I hugged him and handed him his bike keys.
“I will. And we will surely complete this whole second season before sleeping tonight okay?” He smiled and winked at me before leaving.
“Love you!” I shouted and he yelled it back.
Now I had to wait for him to return with Rebecca for at least an hour and a half.
I went downstairs and surfed through the television and decided to watch The Big Bang Theory.
Zach had left at 11.20... So by my calculation he would reach there by 12 and he should be back by 1.
It was now 11:55 and Zach’s and Rebecca’s parents were back.
I made up a story of where Zach was because I didn’t know if I was allowed to say that Rebecca was drunk.
It was 12.15 and Zach still had not called me. I had tried calling him but his phone was unavailable.
I am getting worried... where is he?
I tried calling Rebecca and after the third try, she answered.
“Hey Reb its Haley, has Zach reached yet?” I asked with my fingers crossed.
“Hi... noo I am still waiting. Where is he Haleyyyyyy?” Rebecca slurred.
“I’ll ask him. Don’t do anything stupid okay? Wait there he will be reaching anytime now.” I said and hung up.
What is Zach doing? Where would he be? I am getting so worried.
It was 12.30 and my mom called me. Furrowing my eyebrows, I answered the call.
“Hey mum, what is up? Anything wrong? Are you coming home early?” I asked her.
“Haley... baby I have something to tell you.” She sounded worried.
“Mom? Is everything okay?” I asked.
“Haley... sweetie, it is Zach. He met with an accident.” She said and my heart skipped a beat.
“What?! When? How? Is he okay?” I yelled.
“Darling, he was on his bike and a truck came from the opposite side and hit him hard child. His condition is very serious...” she explained.
Tears slowly started forming in my eyes and I almost dropped the phone from my hand.
“Haley, I think it is best for you to come here with his parents.” She told me.
“Mom?” I asked gulping heavily.
“Yes?” She asked.
“Will he be okay?” I asked trying hard to control the tears.
“Sweetie, please come here and then we will talk. I have to go as they need me. Stay strong sweet heart.” She said and hung up and I bursted crying.
She didn’t say if he would be okay or not. That is not a good sign.
My heart was aching. The pain was unbearable.
I quietly went to his parents’ room and knocked on the door.
“Haley?! What’s wrong child?” Zach’s mother came running towards me.
“It’s... its Zach.” I said and started crying all over again.
“What happened to him?” His dad asked with a worried look on his face.
I told them exactly what my mum said and they quickly got in the car and we hurried to the hospital.
Zach’s mum was crying too but she had to remain strong. And so did me.
She called Rebecca’s parents to the hospital as well.
As soon as we reached, I felt this weird wave of sadness take over me.
It was like I knew something really bad was about to happen.
We registered and ran towards the lift to the fourth floor where the operation theatre and the ICU was.
As soon as I put a step on that floor I felt everything freeze around me for a minute. I couldn’t hear, feel, say, smell, or think anything.
And then suddenly everything started to happen in slow motion.
Zach’s parents were waiting for my mum to come out and tell how Zach was doing, the nurse was rushing into the room with an IV stand and two more doctors were behind her rushing into the room.
I started walking towards the room slowly, hoping that as soon as I reach the door mom would come out with a happy smile on her face and tell me that he is okay.
But nothing happened. For the next twenty minutes.
And then mom came out and hugged me. Consoling me because as soon as she did come out, I shattered into pieces and started crying again.
She told us that he has lost a lot of blood and they are trying to arrange for more blood for him and that he broke three limbs and fractured two bones on his left arm. She also said there were a lot of bruises on his leg and a very deep cut on his left calf as the bike fell on it. She said as he had his helmet on his head didn’t have any severe injuries on his head which was very relieving. She said that they were able to stabilize his heart rate and in some time they would be giving more blood to him as his heart wasn’t able to give enough for the whole body to function.
We were all so scared but relieved. Rebecca’s parents came too.
“Can we see him mom? Please?” I asked.
“Sure.” She smiled.
I let his parents visit him first and being the kind people they are they didn’t take a lot of time in there.
I slowly walked in taking a deep breath inside. What had happened to my baby!
“I know you are unconscious but I will still talk to you.” I said and sat down and took his non injured hand in mine.
“Zach, I know you are strong enough to fight and go through this okay? You will make it just keep trying. I love you so much babe.”
“Hales?” I heard him say timidly.
“You’re awake!” I smiled.
“Babe, I love you a lot. If I don’t make it, don’t you cry alright? I want you to stay happy and if you won’t be happy, I won’t be happy. So smile the beautiful smile of yours and be strong. Try getting to marry a guy who kind of resembles me alright?” He said.
“Zach shut up. You are not going anywhere okay? I know you are going to make it... aren’t you?” I said more like begging him to say yes, fighting the tears forming again.
“Hey, don’t cry. What did I say? Remember that. Always.” He wiped the tear streaming down my face.
“Zach... I love you.” I closed my eyes shut hoping for all of this to go away.
“Haley?” He said. His voice was so fragile. So delicate.
“I’m sorry that we couldn’t watch the show...” he says.
“Zach. We will watch it. Tomorrow. When you will be okay. Alright?” I said and he nodded smiling.
Suddenly, his heart rate was decreasing.
I looked at him worried and yelled for the nurse to get the doctor.
“Haley?” He said.
“I’m sorry babe. I love you.” He said and his heart rate completely stopped indicating his death.
I could not even comprehend what happened after that. I remember I was crying on his chest yelling for him to come back and the nurses were trying to get me off of him.
The doctor finally removed me out of the room and tried to bring him back to life.
But nothing happened.
Zach had died. My Zach was dead. MY best friend was no more. The pain was surreal. I felt the whole world shatter into pieces around me.
END OF FLASHBACK
“I blamed the whole death on Rebecca. It was all her fault. I could never forgive her. Whenever I see her, her face reminds me of Zach’s last words to me. And it hurts so much.
“I miss him Reece. I miss him a lot. The pain I felt was so much that I could not take living there. My dad came back from his tour and he decided it was best if we shifted someplace else. Some place that would not remind me of Zach. Because every park, every movie theatre, every food joint, reminded me of him. And every corner of my house reminded me of him. And even when I tried to not cry, I did. I always cried. So we shifted here.
“This is the reason that I now hate Rebecca. Because she didn’t even care to say sorry. Because she didn’t care that it was because of her that her brother was dead. Because she had no feelings. Because she did not miss him as much as I did. That is why I hate her.
“And 25th of July is the day of his death anniversary. So I couldn’t help but get flashbacks from that night.
“They are haunting. They make me want to beat the shit out of Rebecca to do this to us. I... I love him so much that it hurts Reece. And... And I miss him so much!” I started crying and hugged Reece.
“Oh god Haley. You didn’t have to force yourself to be happy on a day like this. We could have celebrated my birthday someday else. Shh... It will all be okay. Remember what Zach said right? Be happy do that he will be happy too... if you cry then it will hurt him as well. Come on now. Shh... Stop crying. “He stroked my hair.
“Reece, tears stream down our faces when we lose something we cannot replace...” I said.
“I know... shh now. Come wash your face. Spend the night here with me.” He said.
And I agreed. He was so considerate.
Washing my face thoroughly with water I look at my reflection in the mirror and Zach’s words played in my head. I don’t have to cry. I need to be happy to make sure that he is happy too.
I softly made my way in Reece’s bed. He hugged me from behind and eventually I slowly went to sleep.
I woke up in the middle of the night because of something flashing in my eyes but kept my eyes shut.
I slowly opened one eye and saw that it was Reece taking a picture of me.
What is he doing?
I was about to ask him when I heard him talk to someone on the phone...