I was discharged from the hospital yesterday but nothing is the same. I can't do anything but lay in bed. The kids were moved to our room so we can watch them, Carlos doesn't get out the bed ether. He keeps getting bigger he 3 months pregnant now I believe and is showing just like when he was pregnant with the twins. Christian like a little version of me, everything I do he does and little Amor I don't know where she got her personality from she's just a little diva that I love so much. it's been hard on my baby I could tell he's been stressing we soon move but nothing has been packed, I've been thinking even though I want a lot off kids it's not fair for Carlos. after this baby is born I would suggest birth control to him since he like fuckin raw.
I'm laying down with Carlos head on my chest and the babies sound asleep. I rubbed on his stomach and he let out a little moan.
"it feels good when you do that makes me feel protected" he said as he kissed my chest. I chuckle and continued.
"baby do you want another child after this?"
he sighed and said "no I really don't to be honest with you I love the kids and it would be nice to have more and all but with all this going on its not safe to bring another child to this earth" I nodded.
"I understand where you coming from" I paused a little thinking about what I'm about to say "do you still want that abortion" I continued I hate the idea but if my baby doesn't want something there's no use in forcing him. he got up to look me in the eye I'm guessing he was checking if I was serious he sighed once again.
"yea I do" I cleared my throat.
"are you sure baby. you said no last time i asked" I asked with my voice cracking a little.
A tear dropped down on my chest "I'm sure" he whispered.
I nodded and pulled him down to hug him "anything you want I guess. we could go to the hospital when I get well and you can have the abortion" I said with a couple of tears falling.
"I'm sorry metri" he whispered as he hugged me tighter.
"it's okay baby it's okay" I mumbled.
I don't want to get rid of our child but I can't force him, I don't want to make him unhappy. He cried himself to sleep that night, I tried stopping him telling him it's okay but he still cried. I fell asleep also after I got up the bed with pain all over to check on the kids. Amor was crying for her food so I struggled downstairs to get her food ready and got back up. by that time my body was aching me but I had to make sure my baby was good, I feed her the food and rocked her to sleep after I slowly put her down and went to sleep.
I woke up early the next day to call Stefan "yo" he said on the other line "make an appointment for abortion for me bruh I want it private maybe a week from now ight" I said.
"I got it but you really bouta lose a baby? That don't sound like you fr. You good?" He asked concern evident in his voice.
"yea I'm good, shawty don't wan't another baby now. I want the baby fr but I can't do some shit shawty don't like, ion wanna loose him". I said. I heard him chuckle.
"you in love bruh but I gotchu on the appointment Ima call right after I get off the phone with you. Ima hit you up later ight" he said I hummed and hanged up. I woke up Carlos to tell him about the appointment he just smiled and went back to sleep, hardest decision a man could ever make is to lose a baby.