What I Don't Want
Bentley was unhappy. Very unhappy.
What was supposed to be a nice special morning with her husband had gone to shit. He had gotten called in and had to get ready for work and to make matters even worse, she was downstairs dealing with the in-laws from hell until he got out the shower.
They all stood in silence in the livingroom, them glaring at the woman as she prayed that the pale faces would leave and bother her on a different day. Any other day but today
“I can see that you’re starting to let yourself go”, Candace shot passively, sharing the same smirk as her parents,“too bad we can’t get Julian to do the same.”
Bentley took a step forward, the other woman taking one back. She looked at her with a smile on her face,“Call me fat again and we gon’ have a real problem”, she threatened- no promised, her tongue in her cheek.
Fear flashed across the red heads face as she looked at her parents for help. They wouldn’t help her; she had beat her ass before and she’d do it again.
At that moment, Julian came downstairs interrupting their “conversation”. His mother immediately shot up at the sight of her only son,“Julian! Thank god!“, she cried, clutching her pearls. Bentley only rolled her eyes at her dramatics.
Julian was shocked, not expecting to see his family this early in the morning, nonetheless today. He rushed passed his wife, moving over to his frantic family members,“Mom? Dad? Candace? What’s going on?“, he asked looking over his mother.
“That woman just threatened us!“, his father accused pointing at her as if she was a outside Negro who had come into their home without permission. Hell that probably was what they thought she was.
Bentley scoffed at the accusation, crossing her arms over her chest. ‘Sure, tell your son how awful I am and then get him on your side too. Like you haven’t use that card before.’
Julian held up his hands to withhold some form of piece- as if that had worked before,“Just calm down, everybody an-”
“We told you she wasn’t good enough for you Julian!“, his mother spat harshly in the black girl’s direction,“Why don’t you realise she’s after you for all the wrong reasons!”
Bentley couldn’t hold her tongue anymore,“Really this again?”
Julian shhed her, making her huff under her breath. How can they call her a gold-digger when she had her own money and business? God, it was their wedding all over again.
Candace stood by her mother’s side, sending her the same scowl,“Just look at her Julian”, she added looking her up and down in disgust,“she answered the door like she had something to offer”, she snarled at her appearance.
"Excuse me, but ain’t y’all the ones who showed up at the ass crack of dawn for no fuckin’ reason?“, she pointed out, cocking her head to the side. They gasped at her foul language; she had never gone so far as to curse at them. Her mother had raised her to treat her family and elders with respect, but this people had pushed her passed her limits.
His father curled his lip at her,“We came to see our son”
“Oh really?“, Bentley sat down on the couch beside her, crossing her legs,“Then please enlighten us. What brought y’all here this time?” Last time they had come to say that his uncle Maurice had “passed” only to bad mouth her about her hair, or when his aunt Patrice “died” and they talked about her “disgusting bloodline” or the time... At this rate, all of Julian’s relatives were dead and buried.
“It’s none of your damn business!“, Candace barked from behind Julian,“This is family business and it does not concern you.”
Bentley scoffed at her sorry excuse for a comeback,“Nah actually it does, sis“, she snarked tossing her hair over her shoulder, sure to show her wedding ring. “Admit it, y’all just came here ta bad mouth me like y’all always do. There ain’t no damn family emergency”, she contridicted.
Whether they liked it or not they were family. Besides it’s not like she was as excited as she used to be about it. She couldn’t believe that she once thought they would warm up to her. What a moron she was.
Julian sat back as they continued to argue back and forth. This was not how he expected to spend his morning and he was getting more and more aggravated as time went on. “Everybody stop!“, he suddenly shouted raising his hands in the air. All chatter came to an halt as the brunette looked over at his family.
“Guys, I’ll call you later on, but right now isn’t the best time, so please see your way out”, he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
‘Ah ha, ya bitches’, Bentley thought and being the nice Christian that she was she even escorted them out the front door. “Drive safe”, she said, a disgustingly sweet smile on her face. Before they could spout another word, Bentley had slammed the door in their faces.
She was on a tirade the second she stepped back into the livingroom,“Can you believe her? She basically accused me of solicitin’ myself like I’m tryin’ ta seduce tha milk man or somethin’!“, she paced back and forth along the length of the room infront of her seated husband.
“They did have a valid point about your clothes Benny”, Julian voiced concisely, looking up just in time to see her jaw drop,“I’ve told you about your attire on more than one occasion”, he reminded.
Bentley picked up her slackened jaw, glaring at her husband,“and I told you I could wear whateva tha hell I wanted to in my own home.” Since when did everything become her fault? Did he every think his family was responsible for anything they did to her?
It was silent for a moment before Bentley realized something,“You believe that shit don’t you?“, she asked, dropping her arms as she saw what had been infront of her face for so long,“That’s why you sat there and let them say it. You really think I’m fat, a whore, ghetto, a gold digger?“, she counted off everything they called her in the 20 minutes alone. It was so obvious, why else would he keep letting shit like this happen?
Julian eyes softened as he shook his head,“Benny I didn’t say that”, he took a step towards her only for her to backed away from him. “You didn’t have to”, she spat shaking her head,“your silence spoke volumes.”
It was quiet for a moment, Julian didn’t know what to say, but it seemed Bentley didn’t care for him to anyway,“Ya know what? I’m done!“, with that final statement, she stormed upstairs, slamming the bedroom door in the process.
Julian just sat there alone in the livingroom, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened.This was not at all how Julian expected his morning to go. He didn’t understand why she was upset, his family always popped up unexpectedly and they’d fight, so what was so different now? He needed to worry about this later and go get ready for work.
He got up, following the direction that Bentley had run off in minutes prior. When he walked inside their bedroom, Bentley was pulling clothes out of her drawers,“What are you doing?“, he asked watching her move over to the bed where two bag sat.
She ignored him, continuing her task. It was obvious that she was packing up her stuff or was he blind to that as well? He stalked over to her, grabbing both her hands in his own,“I’m not letting you leave”, he declared, shaking his head at the very thought.
She stared up at him with hard eyes,“You don’t have to, it’s my choice.“, she countered strongly yanking her arm out of his hand,“Try to stop me again and imma call my brothas on you”, she threatened wholeheartedly. Her 4 big brothers would not hesitate to fly out and beat his ass in the name of honoring their sister.
Julian gave her her space, moving back to their bed and sat down,“So that’s it? We get in one little fight and you wanna run away?”
Bentley froze in her tracks,“One little fight?“, when she turned to him she was practically seething,“This ain’t no couples dispute Julian, it’s a whole damn family vs one person!“, she exclaimed, struggling to explain it too him, as if it were the worlds hardest math problem. “I- I- I can’t do this shit no more”, she decided shaking her head back and forth, pulling at her hair,“I’m so sick of sitting there and taking abuse from your family because I can’t compete against blood!”
“Then tell me what I need to do”, Julian asked wanting to apease the angry woman.
“What you been doing”, she answered with a straight face,“not a damn thing.” With that she went silent, now just stuffing random things from the closet and bathroom in her suitcases.
“Bentley, baby, just tell me how to fix this”, he could fill his panic rising with every new article she placed in the bag. She couldn’t leave him, she just couldn’t.
Bentley looked at him and for the first time ever, he could see the hurt and the exhaustion written on her face. She broke his gaze, fighting to keep her unshed tears at bay,“You only wanna fix shit cause I’m not I takin’ it layin’ on my back no mo!” She grabbed her bags, going down stairs.
“Baby don’t do this!“, he begged, following her down the steps and out the front door,“Please think about this! Our family?!”
Bentley threw open the drivers door of her car, before side eyeing him,“Our family?“, she shook her head at the very thought, tossing her luggage in the passengers seat, still chewing into him,“I’m a fool for thinkin’ we could start a family and it’s like this?”
She stood back up properly turning around to look at him, pushing her hair back out of her face,“I refuse to have my baby around this fucking chaos. You think I’m gonna sit here while they hate something that’s apart of me?”
Julian’s confused face could only be matched by the way his jaw snapped shut, realising what she’d said,“Bentley what do you mean my baby?”
It was silent for a moment; she didn’t mean for it to come out like that. She was just overwhelmed, but no going back now. Bentley sniffled, reaching into her purse and pulling something out,“Catch”
Julian barely caught the object that came hurling at his face. In his hands was a pregnancy test, not just any pregnancy test, a positive pregnancy test. He didn’t know what to say: he was gonna be a dad? How long had she known? When was she gonna tell him?
He had so many questions that he wanted his wife to answer. He looked back up at her to see Bentley getting into her car. The words that left her mouth next broke him,“I want a divorce”
With that she shut the door, starting the car. All Julian could do was watch Bentley pull out the drive way and zoom down the street. He had just lost not only his wife, but his child.
‘God, what have I done?’