What I Don't Want (But Need)
It had been almost two weeks since Julian had seen or heard from Bentley. She didn’t calls, texts, or anything and as aspected, she didn’t return any of his.
It felt like a knife in the heart everytime he was sent directly to voicemail. He was worried about her and their baby she was carrying.
’When would her first appointment be?
‘Was she thinking about me?’
‘Does she want to work this out?’
‘Would she let me?’
Julian was completely in the dark until one day he opened the front door to recieve a manila evelope from a well dressed man.
They were divorce papers.
Julian immediately began calling her over and over to no avail. She had to have blocked his number or something; he wasn’t able to call her on any line he had.
He tried to get some advice from his sister, but it was painfully clear that Candace did not have her brothers best interests in heart so he left her with some not so loving words. Now he was at his parents house, trying to get some help from them.
“Are you sure it’s yours?”
Julian did a double take hearing that,“Excuse me?“, he asked incredulously looking over at his mother in disbelief. She couldn’t have said that.
The other woman noticed him staring over her tea, and shrugged,“It is a good question”, she defended before sitting her cup down,“How do you know that it is not just some other random man’s child.”
She said it as if it was a fact, let alone a possibility! “What?“, he could only look at her with unabashed disbelief written across his face and he knew they could see it
“It is something to be worried about”, his father conceded, agreeing with his wife. He didn’t like the woman, so if he was able to cut all ties with her to his family he would.
Julian was at a loss for words for a moment, but only a moment,“Did you not hear a word I just told you?!“, he blew up at them,“I just lost my wife, m- my family, because of you and all you can do is insult her?” He couldn’t believe this. He had expected this from Candace, but his parents?
“What do you expect me to do Julian, she’s divorcing my son!“, she defended hotly.
“Because of you!“, Julian yelled in exasperation,“because my family bullies her so damn much and I never say a word about it!”
“Watch your tone when you speak to your mother”, his father scolded harshly, finally showing some type of emotion since the conversation started.
Julian was at a loss for words at everything and his head was swimming. He could only bury his head in his hands, trying to catch his breath,“Oh God, I deserve this.“, he realised,“Bentley had every right to leave me. What is wrong with me?”
His mother frowned at her son’s defeated form,“Oh Julian you didn’t do anything-”
“But enable your behavior!“, he pointed out with as much self loathing as he spat at them, pulling at his shaggy hair,“Both of you!“. It hurt him too much to say it then, but he realized he had no reason to protect grown ass people who acted like children. Julian had loved his family so much and they truly used it to their advantage.
Having enough of the whole thing, Julian stormed across the room. “Where are you going?“, his father asked, following after him.
Julian opened the front door before turning back to them,“I’m gonna try and get my wife back”, he declared strongly,“I’ll also tell you this; if by some miracle, she takes me back, none of you will ever see us or our child.“, with those words he left, going to find his wife.
* * * * * *
Bentley stared at the ceiling of her hotel for the millionth time since she’d arrived. She laid there, nervously toying with her wedding ring as she thought about how her life had changed so fast. Just the thought of what had happened brought tears to her eyes: she had lost the love of her life, her rock and now her child was gonna come from a broken home.
Of course she would allow Julian to see his child, but she would 100% refuse for his family to be around them. They hated her so much that they would no doubt hate the child born of her.
She met with a divorce lawyer earlier this week and they said that they didn’t believe she actually wanted to go through with this considering the circumstances. Nonetheless, they sent out the divorce papers and all she had to do was wait for him to respond with his only demands.
‘What if his parents force me to get a DNA test? I’d have no choice but to do it, even if we all know the babies his. They’re just gonna find something else to rag on me about. Wonder what will it be? My diet? My motherhood? My hab-’
Thankfully, she was pulled from her panicked thoughts by a knock on her door. However she was not at ease, confusion taking over. She wasn’t expecting anyone seeing as no-one knew she was here and she damn sure didn’t order room service.
Cautious of her surroundings, Bentley got out of the bed, tip-toeing across the suite and towards the door. God it felt like she was in a horror movie as she stood infront of the door, standing on her tip toes to see who the hell was there.
Her suspicion was quickly dismissed upon seeing her visitor through the peep hole,“What are you doing here Julian?“, she asked pressing her forehead against the door, her eyes suddenly heavy as brick. The thought of actually speaking to him after this long instantly made her fatigued.
“I came to see you”, he answered loud enough for her to hear him.
She keened at his words; God, she missed hearing his voice. Bentley took a moment to take in his words, before hardening her reaolve again. “Too bad, I don’t want to see you”, she rebutted with a shrug. If anyone had seen it, they’d know she was lying.
It was quiet after that, the words resonating between the oak door.
“I uh...got the papers”, he sounded so defeated,“Bentley”, he spoke up after a pregnant pause,“Do you...do you really want a divorce?”
‘No.’, she answered swiftly in her mind.
Bentley shook the thought from her head, bringing herself back to reality,“It doesn’t matter what I think”, she answered sniffling quietly,“we...we both know it’s for the best.”
The silence that followed drove the knife deeper into her chest.
“Open the door.”
Bentley jumped away from the door as if it wasn’t there,“W- wh- what?“, her throat had dried, her pulse quickening at the thought of the request.
“I want you to say that to my face Bentley”, he demanded simply. If she really wanted this, she wouldn’t hide behind documents and doors whenever she says it. All she had to do was look at him and say the words. If she was able to do so, he would sign the papers, no matter how much it would hurt him. He had hurt her far worse.
With shaking hands, Bentley unlocked the door, slowly opening it. She broke internally at the sight of him; right then and there she knew that she wouldn’t be able to do it.
He stared at her with not only longing, but fierce determination in his eyes and she couldn’t look away. They stood there; not speaking, as if trying to process any changes in the other. Even dressed in a wife beater and some boyshorts, she looked priceless to him.
Julian was the first to move, taking a step forward only for her to move back. “Say it”, he ordered stepping forward into the room. Bentley continued to back away until her back met the wall with him trapping her there.
“I want you to look me in the eyes and say that you want this”, he cupped her head in his hand, forcing her to look at him.
Just like that, Bentley broke down, she shook her head as tears began to fall from her eyes,“I don’t have any other choice!“, she cried holding his wrists,“It isn’t just me anymore Julian, I- I have a child to think about.”
"We have a child to think about”, he corrected, wiping the tears off her cheeks,“This is our life, Benny, no one else’s opinion matters, I- I know that now. Not my mom, dad or Candace; only ours”, he pressed his forehead against hers,“I love you Bentley and I’m sorry, so fucking sorry for everything I let happen before.”
Warmth spread across her chest; that’s all she ever wanted him to say. She smiled up at him, pulling away to cup his cheek,“I love you too, Juli”, she murmured before reaching up to press her lips to his.
What was at first a sweet pecking soon turned more heated, his tongue slipping into her mouth and her hands buried in his mangy hair. Bentley barely reacted as she was lifted off the ground and carted over to the bed before being gently tossed on the hotel’s mattress.
She propped herself up on her elbows, shifting up to the pillows,“What do you think your doing, Mr. Rames?“, she asked, her eyes following his every movement.
Julian smirked as he removed his shirt before crawling into the bed ontop of her,”I am about to make up with my beautiful wife, Mrs. Rames”, he murmured, planting a kiss to her cheek and then her lips,“if she will allow it.”
Bentley gladly returned the kiss, her left hand going to his shoulder length hair while the other grazed his chin,“You apologisin’ is what got me pregnant”, she reminded, feeling his downstairs friend against her thigh.
Julian moved inbetween her legs, smiling down at her,“Know what they say, double or nothing”, he put all his weight on top of her, making her wheeze blissfully. She had missed this: his touch, his kiss, his words, his everything.
She missed him.
Bentley broke their chaste kiss, moaning when Julian’s hand slid inside of her panties, digits sliding over her folds before slipping into her passage.
He locked eyes with her as he pumped his finger in and out her cunt. When her body was completely relaxed, she spread her legs apart farther, grabbing his wrist and guiding him as he entered another.
He sat up straight, taking in the sight of his beautiful wife spread out for him. A lump formed in his throat around any words he could possibly say; he was so blessed to see her like this again, to love her again. Julian scrouched over her torso, his lips trailing trailing up her navel.
As he sucked bruises into her stomach, his fingers glided over her sweet spot making her back arch off the bed. He scissored his digits, stretching her out.
Once he decided she was prepared enough, he removed his fingers, massaging her slit before pulling himself from her panties.
Body burning with arousal, Bentley sat up, going for the hem of her tank top and pulling it over her head to toss it away.
Julian immediately went to her breasts, sucking and licking at the dark buds. His mind wandered as he imagined her breasts swolle with milk and more tender to the touch than now. The thought made him impossibly harder as he pinched and bit down on her sensitive nipples.
When he finally pulled away, he couldn’t help but marvel at his work before pulling Bentley into a heated kiss.
When Julian started to draw away, she objected wholeheartedly,“Juli”, she whines, chasing his lips.
Julian hushed her with a lack of the lips, tracing his thumb over her swollen lips,“Just lay back and let me take care of you care”, he told her, wanting nothing more than to cherish her.
Bentley laid back down, body jittering with nerves and excitement as she let him take the reigns. Julian raked his fingers down her sides until he hooked them on her panties. Slowly he dragged them down her thick thighs and off her body and onto the floor where his boxers soon joined them.
They met again with a passionate, breathtaking kiss, their bare bodies pressed perfectly together.
Once they parted for air, they locked eyes as Julian lined his tip up with her entrance. Bentley let out a breathless gasp as he slid inside, her limbs immediately wrapping around him.
He pushed forward, not stopping until he was buried inside her cunt. He brought her hand up from his back, bringing it to his lips to press wet kisses over her knuckles.
It had been so long since they’ve been so close, so intimate. The smell, the touch, the feel of one another was too much for them; it was like sensory overload.
Julian forgot how tight, warm and wet she was. Her lips stretching around his cock to keep deep inside. Still, nothing compared to the look on her face; her bright brown eyes blown wide, her full lips parted as she struggled to come to terms with the feel of him so deep inside.
Bentley was a mess of nerves below him. He was so intrusive, his cock stretching and prodding her core, demanding her undivided attention. His entire body was so warm and heavy above her in the best of ways, keeping her from floating away.
Slowly, they began to move, their bodies rocking against one another. Their breathing quickened as their movement sped up. Bentley cupped the back on his head and brought his lips to her, needing an outlet for her building arousal.
Bentley whimpered into his mouth as a tight knot began to form in stomach. She grew back, staring at her husband’s strong face as he pumped into her.
That was until midstroke, Julian just stopped much to Bentley’s chargin. “Why’d you stop?“, she whined, through glazed over eyes.
Julian only ignored her, pulling out of her entirely earning another complaint,“Roll over”, he huffed, shifting back to let her move.
She quickly rolled over, folding the pillow over and pulling it under her chin, her hips raised.
“Back in me please, now“, Bentley growl over her shoulder.
Without needing to be told twice, he gripped her hips, driving deep inside before slowly pulling out. He continued at this pace, the head of his cock dragging against her walls as he pulled all but the tip out.and plummeting deep inside her.
Soon Julian was just fucking into her a short hard strokes, sweat coating his skin, his hair curling around his neck. The room was filled with their sounds of pleasure, a mix of cries and curses bouncing off the walls.
Much to Bentley’s chargin, her husband stopped, his cock pressed against her core. Julian was heaving as he tried to catch his breath,“Shocked...you didn’t get pregnant sooner”, he teased, swatting at her ass, groaning when it jiggled at the abuse. If he could count how many times he had lost control during sex, they’d have more than a couple little ones crawling around by now.
Bentley’s giggle was interrupted with a moan ripping its way up her throat. He was pressed right against her sweet spot like he belonged there before drawing back and snapping forward again and again.
She let out an incoherent gargle, her eyes rolling to the back of her head. She struggled to string together a proper sentence as the knot impossibly tightened in her gut. “Baby”, she mewled, pressing her cheek to the pillow,“I- I’m gonna-”
“Me too Benny”, Julian croaked while still continuing his drive his hips into hers. His hair was matted to his face with sweat as his motion became more erratic.
He pressed his chest to her back, completely draping his body over hers. He enterlaced his hands with her, smiling at the sight of their glistening wedding bands. Julian knew they made for a beautiful sight.
He pushed her hair aside, pressing hot open mouth kisses along her shoulder and the side of her neck; continuously assaulting the soft spot below her ear as his thrusts became sloppier and more forceful.
It wasn’t long after this, they were both cumming, their cries of euphoria intermingling.
After showering, they both climbed into bed, both drained yet practically glowing with happiness. Julian pulled the sheets over their bodies, arms wound tight around her body as if he was sure to make sure he would lose her. Bentley looked up at him, a soft smile on her face.
“I missed you.”
“I missed you too.”