The library was crowded. The feeling of people bumping into one another was overwhelming. No one was whispering, some ruthless people were even yelling at one another from across the room.
If I wanted to get my homework done, this is most certainly not the place. Maybe I could go over to Ashton’s dorm. Ask him for help and maybe work on our stress releasing skills.
Slowly scanning each book down the magical creatures’ aisle, I gained to collect varieties of sources. Books about how to care for these peculiar animals, explanations on why some creatures are more hatred than others, and a death omens book.
I pressed the tall unstable pile of books against my chest as I attempted to take slow steps away from the book aisle. My stack of around 7 books was shaky with each step I took. What seemed to be me rounding the corner of the last shelf, I felt a stiff body encounter itself with mine.
The books I was aiming not to drop were splattered above the floor. They were spawned open and the pages looked like flapping pigeons
There was a sudden snicker, I look up to find Draco stiffly standing. His eyes locked onto my facial features. He must have been inspecting the way my hair was messily placed above my face and the way my cheeks had a faint rose color.
“More knowledge would be nice for someone like you.” The left side of his lip twitched waiting for my comment.
I quickly found myself staring at his black shoes as I frantically picked up the books clustered on the floor. This is definitely not a scene I would want to be in, “Glad you are having a nice day,” I sarcastically say.
“It does honestly seem like your stocking me blood traitor.”
His stance radiated coldness. Has he been always this cold? His face signaled he was bored. After being called a blood traitor by him for the past years, it felt normal.
“You would dream about it wouldn’t you?”
Two simple words that made me question things. He was being idiotic and sarcastic that was for sure, so why question if he meant that?
Holding the books tightly against my chest again, I meet his eyes. They seemed empty.
“Alright well, I’m going to go do something useful with my life, try it sometime.” His jaw twitched at my last words. Without another look, I turn from Draco and check out my books.
The lady reminded me that I must bring them back in 2 weeks or I will get stuck with chores as detentions, I promised her I would. Her face couldn’t blend in her annoyance at my promise. I always come to get books, sometimes at the most baffling hours, I end up turning them in weeks later... and the librarian is well aware of that. I believe she knows my full name now, I have learned hers as well. Madame Irma Pince, what a great listener she is sometimes.
“Nyla hold on,” Pansy calls after me.
Catching up to me in the crowded hallway, she placed a hand above my shoulder. “Hey, What’s wrong?” I asked.
Pansy’s eyes were lingering around the hall before she gave me a smirk, “Where’s that Hufflepuff of yours?”
“You mean Ashton,” I roll my eyes playfully, “Probably at quidditch.”
I hadn’t seen him since our picnic dat-
Well no, It wasn’t truly a date.
She scoffed, “Zabini got something from the Weasleys’ today, he won’t tell me what it is, but he said to pass by his dorm later tonight.”
“Tonight?” I pause. Draco and I are supposed to observe the constellation we chose every night for this month.
Pansy whispered the Slytherin common room password before facing me again, “Yes. Do you have something more important to do?”
Technically I did. Since Blaise has planned on calling Pans over to his room, it means Draco would be there, so none of us would be doing the project. Even though he decided he wasn’t going to do it from the beginning.
Placing the tower of books beside me, I sat on the window seat. The view was memorable. The sun was just setting. The sky was painted with red and purple tints. Coal colored bird silhouettes swam in the air gracefully.
The first book was of no use. Nothing answered my questions. While reading the second book I found myself writing down notes on every page. The black ink from my quill seeped into the pages with my every word.
Page 11 was noted, ‘Ministry of magic XXXX creatures.’
‘[creatures] being endangered or just too difficult to capture, rather than being dangerous.’
Written scrap peaces of parchment were left between pages. Seeking the most important and meaningful information. Normally, my reading is fitful. I don’t usually have a spare bookmark in hand to save a page. Pulling an extra bobby pin from my hair, I place it near the book spine on the parchment.
The floorboard creaked and I peeked from my book to find Pansy stalling to the bathroom, “I’ll take a quick shower then we go.” she affirmed.
Darkness filled the sky. The green lamp on my bedside was the only illumination in the whole room, besides the light creeping from under the bathroom door. Pansy walked out with wet hair and wearing shorts with a loose top.
“Alright let’s go” Pansy rushed as she grabbed a coat standing at the front door.
I was wearing black leggings with a loose jacket. My hair wasn’t the best either, but we were only going to their dorm. Nothing special.
We made our way across the Slytherin common room. Many students were seated comfortably by the fireplace. In the opposing corner with the shadows, there was a pair drowning in their rushed kisses.
Pansy knocked on the boys’ dorm door. Blaise was quick to open and signal that we walk in.
Draco was sitting by the headboard of his bed. He was casually wearing sweatpants with a black tank top. He was holding a blunt between his lips with his fingers, the fingers that had metal rings fitted perfectly around them.
Pansy and I walked in, she took a seat on one of the couches facing our way. The fireplace along with the seats are placed to the right of the dorm, when you first enter you see Draco’s bed in the center at the back, Blaise’s bed is horizontal on the left of Draco’s. Their bathroom is on the left of the room.
I took a place on the corner of Zabinis’s bed dropping my wand on his nightstand. He sat on the ground in front of his bedpost.
The bathroom door opened revealing blinding light. The room had been so dim that the illuminance from the bathroom was dazzling.
“Ah, the ladies are here too?” Theo opened his arms in welcome as he walked toward the coach opposing Pansy.
“The blunt?” Blaise signaled to Draco, “you’re hoarding all of it.”
Malfoy rolled his eyes before extending his hand to open the drawer from his nightstand. He pulled out a lighter with a joint pack. He slickly tossed one at a time over to Blaise who caught them in one hand. Blaise pulled out a blunt before placing it in between his lips then lighting the tip. He let out a puff of smoke before passing it over to me and retrieving another blunt from the pack.
While I took an inhale and exhale of air, the conversation in the room established.
“Why do you guys have such a huge bookshelf?” Theo mocked.
Draco gave him a glare before smiling innocently, “Why don’t you go get the drinks Nott” his tone seemed calm but it was clear he was irritated.
Theo laughed to himself before transfiguring a cup of water into fire whiskey. For my own preference, I believed fire whiskey to be too strong. I drink it anyway but I aim for nettle wine on every trip to Hog’s Head Pub.
“Blaise what did you say you got from the-” she paused remembering how Draco despises all Weasleys “-the muggle world?”
“Right,” Zabini exhaled smoke before walking over to the glass table in the center of the couches. He gave Theo his blunt and pulled out a white grainy substance in a bag from his pockets along with some paper. I made my way towards the couch next to Theo.“Here,” He handed each one of us a white paper and started to place the powder onto the glass table.
Draco was with us around the table as well, he was serving fire whiskey into his shot glass. “Well hurry the fuck up,” he rushed.
Blaise gave him a cold look before separating the powder with a slim card. Each of our portions were set up neatly waiting for their time to be inhaled. Everyone was looking at the divided powder.
We all know this is our escape. An escape to everything else happening in the world. For us letting go is like a key. Once the lock clicks, we are oblivious to anything and everything around us. We enter a room where we have no adults telling us what to do, no rules, and no boundaries.
Everyone at school has their own coping mechanisms. I know that Ashton bakes to relieve his stress. I’ve encountered many others with a diversity of coping skills. But in our group, we have nothing meaningful waiting for us on the other side of the door, so we get high and spend this moment like it would be our lasts.
The silence was almost too loud.
Draco scoffed, “What are you waiting for? Fucking do it.”
With the rolled-up paper, we each took our shot at the powder.
Theo doesn’t usually do this with us, seemed like he must have needed it extra today. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he let the substance seep into his skin. He let out a cheerful cough, trying to emerge the substance fully into his body. His arm wrapped around my shoulder as he rubbed my back to try and calm me down.
The powder felt like poison to my skin. Like black vines expanding to every part of my body, consuming me in every way possible. I coughed down the last bit as I felt the throbbing pressure build itself up like a cloud in my head.
Pansy had an ease to the way she did things, including this. Her eyes were a bright color of cherry red. She tilts her head to the side laughing with the devouring sensation of pleasure.
Next to Pansy, was Blaise. He had slid down against the couch onto the wooden cold floor. His fingers were curling up into the ground with the immense feeling being shot up through his system. He was shaking his head violently while gripping onto his thigh for support.
Draco tilts his head back onto the chair. He rolled his eyes and shut them closed feeling every inch of his body being eaten alive by the influence of the drug. He let out a delirious sigh, the pressure in his head must have made him feel in control. It seemed he felt completely hazed and powerful.
When his eyes shot wide open, they landed back on me. His eyes tracked over Theos arm around my shoulder and his expression grew cold.
Everything around me seemed blurred, except for Draco. My eyes didn’t dare leave his gaze. Theo was talking to me, I’m not sure if I sold him out on my listening act.
A soft hidden moan distracted my thoughts. Pansy was seated on top of Blaise on the ground. Blaise was holding a blunt while Pansy exhaled her smoke into his mouth. Blaise dipped his head down in between her neck and started grasping and leaving bites in all the visible places. Her hands were roaming over his chest and back, eager for more. Theo gave a joking gag as he stood up to get more fire whiskey. He removed his hand from around me with ease and delicacy.
This was... different. They had never shown any interest in each other. But there were days were Pansy would come all flustered after she told me she visited the boy’s dorm, I thought maybe she had run back to our room all these times. Would they have- before-?
The need in my tone was evident, “Well fuck is there more?”
“His greedy arse gave us a grain and thought it was enough.” Theo rolled his eyes from across the room.
Blaise threw a clear bag with more substance in my direction. He laughed, “Don’t stash all of it.”
I rolled up my white sheet of paper again as I lined it at the tip of the powder line. Carefully, I inhaled the powder, a simple breath of air. Tilting my head back in order to maintain the substance in my body, Draco was surveying me.
Everything seemed to stop. All over again. His eyes, so daring and lust-filled, but his face... so straight and cold, like a mask.
There was a harsh desperate knock at the room door.
No one seemed to acknowledge it, or they did and decided not to care.
Alohamora must have been used to get the door slowly opened. Daphne Greengrass casually walked into the room. She spotted everyone clustered around the couches and she hid her noticeable anger with a laugh. When she saw Draco, she immediately walked over to him.
His icy eyes weren’t locked on mine anymore, they were placed onto every curve Greengrass had. She walked over to him and his hands immediately coiled around her waist. She was pulled down to sit on his lap, her hands running through his hair. He spoke something, a breath away from her lips, that made Daphne blush. The way his hands slid up and down her back, the way he was talking with her, it looked like Draco owned her.
Theo returned with more fire whiskey. His face couldn’t contain his shock when he saw Daphne straddling Draco’s lap.
“Well, Well, Well,” he laughed, “Didn’t know this was going to be a sex party.”
His arm wrapped around my shoulder once more, sending me a soft smile. When I returned the action with a small laugh, Draco’s eyes darted up to Theo. His face seemed to get colder. His grip on Daphne’s thigh grew tighter and rushed.
Blaise and Pansy were oblivious to anything happening outside their lust-filled fantasy. They were sucking at each other’s skin with hunger. Maybe the drugs affected her and caused her to make irrational decisions. Would she regret this tomorrow?
“Theo is there wine?” I leaned my head onto his shoulder and closed my eyes. Enjoying every minute the drug stayed in my body, “not really a fan of fire whiskey,”
He stands up once more, “Just for you,” Theo says as he walks toward the mini-fridge across the room. He wasn’t going to take long to get one simple drink, but these few minutes I’m going to have to spend alone at the coach already annoyed me.
I can hear Daphne uncontrollably giggling. Turning to look at her, Draco is leaving hickeys on her neck. His lips were nipping at her clavicle in a soft motion. His hands were set perfectly on her back. His touch never left her even when he caught sight of me once more.
A small smirk appeared on his face when he noticed how ruffled I looked. Without tearing his eyes from mine, he created patterns on Daphne’s thigh, roaming his gentle fingers teasingly at her exposed skin, he would tightly grip it then run his fingers over the irritating parts. Theo sat back down at my side and started speaking.
“Blaise and Pans? Would have never-”
Draco winked in my direction.
His lips separated from Daphne’s neck but stayed teasing the outer part of her ear with his teeth. His intense eyes burned right through me while he whispered something in her ear. She looked stunned.
What the fuck am I doing?
I look back at Theo and smile while nodding as if understanding what he was talking about.
“Fucking cunts didn’t invite me?” Flint joked.
Marcus had walked through the door with a bottle of fire whiskey in his hands. He made his way across the room and threw himself face forward onto Draco’s bed.
Why is he here-
The air felt like it was internally sucked out of my lungs. There were blurry lines everywhere. I felt a pounding sensation in my head. Fuck I shouldn’t have gotten so...illogical right now.
My ribs were heaving as if bound by imaginary ropes.
Draco scoffed as he realized Flint dropped onto his bed, “Why would we?” he bantered.
“Life of the party.” Flint sat up on the bed. That’s when he spots me sitting next to Theo.
His eyes burned through me like fire. Creeping itself into my blood, further and further till it burned every inch of my body. He smirked. He looked proud, triumphal. He unscrewed the bottle cap, his lips parted, and mouthed, ‘Round 2?’
My eyes dropped down to my lap.
I felt the room enclose. Everything got smaller. The walls were collapsing- yes, they were trapping me-
If Pansy and I-
I turned to face her, she was lost in her own world. Sucking at Blaise’s neck. In complete oblivion to the newly arrived guest.
My chest tightened with my single breaths. Sounds that were near feel far away.
Panic began as a cluster of spark plugs in my stomach.
Theo was talking, was it Theo? “Pass it over?”
Flint responded. Yes, it was Flint. “Hell if I knew you were all so desperate-”
His tone of voice.
That’s when all the memories rushed back into view, like an electric ocean flooding my mind. I had tried extremely hard to keep them locked away. The memories had been a simple grain in the sand, now it was all visible again. The grain had been picked up from its blended pile and shoved straight into my face. A memorial of that night--the night in the classroom.
His touch. His words. His breaths against my skin.
My heart was hammering against my chest.
I discretely dropped the blunt I was holding into Theo’s open hand. He looked concerned as I made my way to the bathroom. My footsteps were barely audible, I tried being hidden in the shadows of the room as I walked, trying to ignore his eyes on me.
Walking into the bathroom, I locked the door behind me. The clicking noise made all my thoughts run wild again. I want them to stop, but they won’t.
Breathe, I told myself.
Everything felt like a blackout. My breaths were created from gasps.
My body dripped down the door as I felt my legs run weak.
Even though their bathroom was enormous, space between every set of furniture, the walls still undoubtedly made me feel stuck. They were going to collapse on me.
Tension grew in my face, limbs, and in my mind.
In the next seconds, I had my knees curled tight into my chest. Only being able to feel the trembling in my legs and the salty tears on my sleeves. I don’t know, what do I do, is he still out there, no he’s gone, has he told everyone, breath, gone, his touch... Pansy, his breaths... Blaise, does he remember, his words... blackness... creeping blackness...
An invisible hand clasped over my mouth. A reminder to keep all the noise coiled in my stomach. An uncalled sob erupted from my chest. Luckily, because of the music, it was nonsense to think someone heard it. I bit down onto my loose sleeve, soundlessly yelling into my arm instead.
If I stayed too long they would assume something is wrong. If they assume something is wrong they will question me about it. If they question me about it... I don’t know if I’ll be able to contain my emotions for much longer.
Best not risk it.
I casually pulled the smile onto my face. Wiping away any of my tears remains. I stood up from the ground, my legs feeling like water and my arms holding onto the counter beside me for support. I met myself in the mirror, my eyes puffed red, my cheeks, nose, lips, a bright concerning red. My hair looked like a bird’s nest, tangled pieces framing my face.
You are ok. You are doing fine. Nothing happened.
I ran my hands underneath the ice-cold water. Trying to reduce the tension, I carefully damped my face, caressing my puffed areas.
You look fine.
They are going to question why you took so long, get out.
I held my arms tightly to my chest as I made my way back to the couch. A sigh of relief left my chest as I noticed Theo patiently waiting in the same spot. When I sat down beside him, I didn’t look anywhere besides his deep brown eyes.
His face betrayed him on hiding his worry. His hand tucked a stray hair behind my ear, “Nyla?” he paused inspecting my red eyes, “are you alright?”
His face didn’t budge. Breathe. Looking up, Flint was still laying down on Draco’s bed. A blunt in his hand as he talked to the roof. Theo followed my view, when he realized I was looking at Flint, he dropped his head a nodded. “I’m a bit hungry, would you wanna come with me to the kitchens?”
His eyes were closed tight, “Of course.” I smiled.
He gave me a soft smile, one you could fall asleep to at night with no worries. With his grip on my shoulder, he stood me up against him. He didn’t say anything as he shoved a paper into his pocket and grabbed a bottle of fire whiskey from the glass table in front of us. When he rounded the couch, headed for the door, no one seemed to notice.
But somehow, I still felt Draco’s gaze on me.
He was starring at me in question. It’s as if I felt his questions in my head even though he wasn’t speaking.
Ah, I see, you and flint?
My eyes narrowed, his hand fell from Daphne’s thigh onto the armchair. Daphne was talking to him but his eyes were locked onto mine.
What a slut you are Moore.
Was he speaking-
Or was he-
My hands started trembling, I hid them behind my back trying to hide them from anyone’s view, even though no one would have noticed. My steps lead me towards the door, where Theo was waiting for me.
“How was it, Pucey?” Draco’s eyes were cold. A sheet was placed above them, concealing any emotion he would want to portray.
Blaise and Pansy were laying down on the couch, one above the other. They had passed out due to everything they had. Flint sat upon the bed, he was inspecting Draco, trying to comprehend his question. Then he interlocked his gaze with mine and gave a low laugh. “Very Intres-”
“We are going to get food, I’ll take her to her dorm after. Goodnight assholes.” Theo tried to hide the tension in his face, it didn’t bother dissolving with the hold he had on my wrist.
Dracos’s expression was stone. His knuckles white gripping onto the armchair tighter. Then he quirked an eyebrow in question. “Are you going to fuck him too?”
Daphne gave a ridiculous laugh, throwing her head back, exaggerating her movements. She shifted on Draco’s lap, facing Theo at the doorway, “Worst ‘quick shag toy’ Nott. Out of everyone, I wouldn’t have expected the Blood traitor.”
Theo’s face grew red. The air in my lungs wasn’t enough. Was their air in my lungs? No- It felt like I was suffocating. Like a clear plastic was slowly wrapping itself around me, banning any expansion from my lungs.
“Can-” my voice broke off.
“Can we go?”
Theo nodded and carefully pulled me through the door with him. He shut it closed and intensely stared into my eyes. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I dropped my view towards the floor. Was it always this cold?
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t really hungry, that’s for sure- I’ll just um- it looked like you needed a breather.”
My smile seemed to wear away some worry on his face, “I’m ok, I promise.”
He didn’t say anything.
“Walk me back to my dorm? Not really um- I just don’t want to walk by myself,”
“Of course.” His arm holding the whiskey bottle rose along with the corners of his mouth.
I curled up on my bed, tightening the sheats around me as the smallest sense of warmth was irrupting across my body. “Thank you,” I smiled, “Good night Theo.” My eyes closed. If I let Theo see the tear that would run down my face, he wouldn’t decide to leave me alone all night.
“Pansy will probably be back soon don’t worry.”
She should stay there longer. I don’t need her worrying about me again, I had already convinced her I was fine. She does not need to be here for me, she seems like a constant babysitter.
“Night Nyla.” The door clicked.
I couldn’t sleep. Not now, not yesterday, it wasn’t a new thing. From my place on the bed, I had a clear view of the moon. Sometimes it’s the only source that listens. I could talk to it for hours, it won’t ever make me feel less than what I’m supposed to be, but of course, that would be because it also won’t tell me how it’s always here for me, even though I know it will be.
My chest started to rise and fall in an incoherent pattern.
I could stare at the moon for hours.
My legs began trembling.
It will always be there. Even after decades, everyone will always stare at the same moon.
A tear rolled down my face.
Isn’t it beautiful? The glimmer of the night. A light so white that it almost looks blue.
His breath against my skin-
If only I could reach up and hold it in my hands.
The words- his words-
Stars. Beautiful fireflies, I call them.
Suddenly the moon became a blur. It seemed dull.
My feet dragged me to the bathroom, I pooled down on the floor in front of the toilet. My hands supporting me on the rim. My face pale and lathered with sweat. If only I could extract all the memories. My chest was heaving and wouldn’t stop. It felt like an empty pit in my gut. Suddenly the toilet bowl was covered in retch.
I roughly grabbed toilet paper and wiped my mouth away from the sour feel. I need to clean this up before Pansy comes back. I need my wand.
My thoughts rushed back to where I had last dropped it.
Pansy wasn’t back yet, could that mean they were still there? Knowing them all, I need to get my wand before they do something stupid with it. They’ve probably thrown it out the window by now. Maybe they left. I should go.
Walking back into that room... No, I cant.
Would Flint think I’m easy to get then? Would he think I’m a coward for not saying anything at all? Would Draco look at me weirdly if Flint explained what happened? But Flint wouldn’t explain it properly- no, he would explain everything to his advantage.
Hell, Nyla just go, I told myself.
It’s simple. Just breathe. Forget he’s even there. Walk inside, get your wand, and leave. Simple.
The last bit of strength and dignity I had, rose me to my feet. I dragged myself out of the bathroom. Before leaving, I wrapped a coat over my jacket, changing my tight leggings into loose sweatpants. The feeling inside me was still encouraging me to cover up more. I let my hair loose so it would cover my face and neck.
A mask would be nice. I would be able to cover up my face behind the object and let my emotions run free without anyone noticing it.
I stopped in front of their room. There wasn’t any noise coming from inside. When I knocked no one answered. So I knocked louder.
Maybe I could just-
My hand was slowly twisting the knob open just enough to peek inside. No one was there. Blaise and Pansy weren’t in the couches anymore, Draco was gone, so was flint and Daphne.
This would be quick then. I stepped foot into the room and made my way over to Blaise’s nightstand. It was not there. My wand wasn’t there.
I felt a void in my stomach. A light so bright filled the room from the left. Draco walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his lower body and his hair dripping water droplets onto his stiff muscled back. When he spotted me beside Blaise’s bed his eyes widened, “What are you doing?”
“I’m sorry the door was unlocked and I forgot my wand.” My voice was shaky.
“You’re so blundered.” he rolled his eyes, “It’s over there.” My gaze followed to where his finger was pointing.
Confusion took over my thoughts. It was on his nightstand. I walked over to the side of his bed and picked up my wand, rushing it into my coat pocket. I forced myself to speak, “Where is Everyone? Pansy I mean-”
He walked closer into my view, his toned muscle was illuminated by the light coming from the window. He stopped at the end of his bed, leaning on the bedpost. “I told them to leave. Nott never came back and Greengrass and Marcus-” I felt my body stiffen with hearing his name, Draco took notice but stilled his face and kept talking, “-I told them to leave.”
I wanted to ask why since they were all clearly having a good time but I was only worried about her, “Where’s Pansy?”
“With everything she took tonight she blacked out, so she left with Zabini. I assumed they were going back to your dorm, guess they had a different idea.”
My hand started trembling as I looked around at the mess in the room. There was a bottle on the opposite nightstand of Dracos bed, Flint’s drink. Draco followed my gaze and sighed, “What the fuck is going on between you and him?”
“He told you something?” I felt my chest struggle to breathe again.
He quirked a brow, “Should he have?”
I shut my eyes closed and chewed on the inner side of my cheek, taking up the courage to walk. His eyes never left my face as I took a few steps forward. He stayed still at the side of the bedpost, when I was almost crossing him he reached out and grabbed my wrist. I flinched. My eyes darting open in horror.
For a millisecond, his eyes were worry-filled. His mouth twitched and his jaw tightened. He let go of my wrist and stared deep into my eyes. His mouth opened to say something but then he shut it closed.
“I-” My voice broke. What exactly am I supposed to say? It’s not like I can explain everything wrong with me to him. Out of all people.
“What happened?” He sounded concerned. Could he be? No, his poker face demonstrated otherwise.
“Nothing bloody happened. I came to find my wand, so I found it.”
“You’re scared,” His tone was final.
I stayed silent watching him in despair. I could tell how his mind was running miles per hour over every detail. He clicked his tongue and clenched his fist, “Moore I swear to god-” he broke off.
“Why are you so concerned all of a sudden? Are you trying to act like my babysitter as well?” I scoffed. There was silence.
His face was stone cold once more before chuckling darkly, “You’re pathetic. Your such a whore that you even let Marcus get to you. Who’s next? Want me to call Adrian to fuck up your shit? I bet you would enjoy it. You would let anyone fuck you, so desperate and needy all the time.”
I couldn’t breathe, it felt as if someone was choking me. My heart was racing and all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and wait for someone to save me. But no one would, no one was there. A choked cry forced itself up my throat, and I felt a drop run down my cheek. Maybe he would regret every word that escaped his mouth... but no, his face betrayed nothing. His hand around the bedpost loosened.
“Fuck-” he rasped shutting his eyes closed as another tear rolled down my face. I felt idiotic, I stayed standing in front of him like I was in a trance. He even had to close his eyes--because the sight of me was too much to bear.
Desperate needy whore.
“Just get out Moore.”
“You’re a real piece of shit, you know that?” I spat trying to control the sob wanting to irrupt from my body. His jaw tensed. “You just assume you know everything, don’t you?”
“Enlighten me then,” He was trying to force the situation out. He was trying to get on my nerves so I would explain the whole story.
“On what? Something that hasn’t happened?”
He rolled his eyes.
“Leave me the fuck alone,” I said turning from his gaze, walking out the room.
When the door closed behind me, there was a shattering noise coming from his room.