Craving him: The beginning of us

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Chapter 21


October 16,2020

Elle thinks that I don't care about her. She doesn't understand what I'm trying to tell her. I get that she's hurt but every time we get close she runs away. What is she so afraid of?.

I know Madeline coming was some sick game to my dad. He hated Elle so he brought the girl he rather me be with that he still hates but can control. When I saw her come into the door I was shocked I haven't seen her since junior year. I should have thought about Arielle feelings and how she would have felt before ignoring her.

She looks up at me as I am lost in thought she says "the bell is going to ring, I need to go". Before she slides under my arm and runs away down the hall.

I made a mess and now I don't know how to fix it. Someone taps me in the back "what are you doing here?" I know exactly who it is.

"Riley" I call out as I turn to look at her. She's not amused she has her arms crossed.

"When will you realize that all your doing is hurting her. Go be with me beauty Queen the person you really want"

"What if I told you the person I wanted isn't talking to me right now. She's barely looks me in my eye."

"You guys we're wrong for each other anyways. She's never going to be the sit and stay girl, she's too stubborn. I don't want to you two to be together you guys hurt each other and sometimes love isn't enough"

"Love isn't enough" I repeated in my mind. It was something Elle always repeated I didn't pay too much mine to it until today.

She walks away and lets me ponder. If I don't fix this now she's going to hate me forever.

October 26,2020
A few weeks went by I tried to get Elle to talk to me but every-time I tried she would walk off and pretend like I was never there. It's Monday October 26, a few days until Halloween.

Elle has been going out with Francis and her smile seems to get bright and brighter. I know I should be happy that she's happy but is it wrong to feel a little jealous?. What am I saying?.

I walk into the kitchen from Blaine's room I see Francis and Elle sitting in the rotating chairs near the bar counter. She's laughing after he whispered into her ear. When she sees me her expression stopped. She only looks at me for a second before turning back to Francis.

I don't even know what she sees in him. He has long blonde curly hair with blue eyes but other than that he's not attractive. Look at me I sound jealous and I don't get jealous.

I leave and make my way to school my grade have been going up. I been working on bettering my best starting with school I missed so many days dealing with the drama and worrying about Elle. I still worry about her, sometimes I wonder if she thinks about me.

I want to be the man Elle deserves. She didn't deserve to be treated the way I treated her. On the other hand I felt like she was always the one pushing me away more than me. She always used Riley and Anthony as an excuse not to be with me.

I almost forgot Anthony was in the car. Earlier I told him to wait in the car even as I was getting in I didn't notice him. "Are you okay bro?"

I nod my head "yes,I'm fine Anthony". He didn't pressure me into talking about myself I was never the emotional type.

I got to school I went up to the football guys at school. I quit the team my heart wasn't in it anymore it was more to let out anger rather than to play. But the guys were still cool with me high five me as I approached them.

Someone came up behind me and covered my eye slight "guess who!". I already knew who it was.

I ripped her hands off of me and turned to her "Violet fuck off".

"Ooo someone's mad" she jokes. I'm trying to control my anger but she keeps testing me.

"Leave me the fuck alone Violet" I scream in her face. Maybe she would be the message.

She continues but whispers it "Someone's mad I ruined his little relationship with Ms Virgin Mary. I seen her around with Francis, they look so cute together" she comments. She wants an reaction to be and I wasn't about to give her one. It would confirm the feelings for Elle and her brother is right next to me.

I get close to her and whispers into her ear "fuck off". She stiffened and looked like she was going to cry.

I looked back at my buddies they were talking about the dances that go around here. I could ask Madeline to go with me. But I don't really want to go. All I wanted to do was get drunk and forget even if it is for a little while.

The bell ringed and I went to my first class I'm doing business for my own pleasures not for my dad if it was my dads way I would become a lawyer and have my own practice. At this point I'm going to do things my way and I don't care what my dads says.

I actually came to class prepare to learn with notebook pencil and computer in hand. I listen to him talking about accounting and writing down notes. Until he dismissed us.

"Blaine" he called and I walked to him and stood in front "you really have done better I'm proud of you" I smile at him.

"Thank you Mr Fields" and I walk out of the classroom.

Anthony waits outside to go to our next class together he wraps his arm around my neck. But let's go instantly and goes in front of me to stop me "we should go to a party. It's been too long we need to get out there and finds us some girls".

I push him at of my way "I don't want to go to a party Anthony especially not to find girls".

"What's got you in a mood?. You used to love going to parties".

"Fine I'll go" I walk away from him. I know he's going to keep begging me until I go. I don't feel like going to a party but what's the worse that could happen?.

I walk into Ms Reid class she's wearing a short skirt and was bending down as I walked in "hi ms Reid".

She blushed her face turning red. She walked back into her desk and started teaching. When she looked over at me to see I was actually paying attention she smiled.

It was night time I went into the house and made my way into the kitchen. I could hear kissing voice coming from Elle's room. I fought myself to not open that door and kill him.

"Are you okay Blaine?" Anthony distracted me from the voice.

I nod my head and walked out he followed behind me. We went in my car instead of his. He told me the address of the party, when we pulled up I noticed the walls were see-through.

I made my way inside the different color lights and loud music kind of gave me headaches. I walked over to the bar and drunk Tequila straight up. Before pouring myself another one.

Anthony runs over to me as I was going to pour the third one and snatched it out of my hand "what's going on bro?".

I reply "nothing"

"No like seriously what's going on with you. You just tried to drink 3 cups of tequila at once like you have no pain tolerance".

"Nothing okay, I just wanted to enjoy a night where I didn't have worry about anything okay?".

He handles me my drink and I drink it all in one.

I head for the dance floor and start dancing near some girls. They put there hands on my body and starts dancing closely to me. Before long I'm completely drunk. I walk outside away from the music stumbling everywhere.

I take my phone out and call Elle. She picks up.

B: There are things I want to say to you but no matter what it's never going to convince you that I actually do care about you and that I love you.
A: Are you drunk Blaine, where are you?
B: I'm at a party without you. This is my way of finally letting you go. You can do with that blonde boy and be happy.
A: Blaine tell me where you are?.

I hang up on her and make my way back to the dance floor. Anthony dances near me watching what I am doing.
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