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Chapter 20









Kalem’s P.O.V

I shift a little closer to Aias, wanting more of the nice feeling that came up in my belly from having him hold me.

Master hadn’t hugged me in a while. But it wasn’t because he was a bad Master, Master did try but I always ended up ruining it and making everything even worse.

I was the problem.

A small huff leaves me as I squeeze my eyes together a little tighter and do the same with my arms that were wrapped around Aias’ waist. Things weren’t so scary when I could have Aias close like this.

“It’s completely unfathomable to me how two people who adore one another so much manage to find so many issues together,” Aias comments as he gently runs his long fingers through my hair. “Theoretically, it shouldn’t even be possible.”

“It’s my fault,” I reply quietly before mumbling the rest of the truth into his clothes. “It’s always my fault.”

“It takes two,” Aias replies softly while he trails his fingers down from my hair to caress my hidden face. “One day you’ll see that and maybe all these mishaps will happen less.”

I let my teeth hold my lips shut as I try to believe in Aias’ words, but it was hard with all the other words that keeping running around in my head. Words that said that things were bad because I wasn’t a good slave for Master, but it only made my head hurt more because Master said he didn’t want a slave.

I don’t say anything back to Aias.

I just keep quiet and try not to think of all the bad words, I try to focus on Aias’ soft fingers that made me feel good inside while everything else felt bad. Things were feeling bad ever since that day when I told Master how I felt and messed up everything on the extra, special day he planned for us.

“You can always stay here with me,” Aias whispers after a long time of no speaking and it makes my eyes pop open and my heart stick in my body. “For a night or two, a week or a month... however long you need.”

I sit up quickly and look into Aias’ golden eyes that were sweet and kind, like honey as they only were for me.

But no matter how sweet they were, I wouldn’t fall for them. Even though I really liked Aias and his Malcolm, I loved my Master. It didn’t matter that Master didn’t love me back, I loved him so I couldn’t leave him... ever.

Like, ever ever... ever.

I jump a little in Aias’ arms when a knock on the door comes, the sound so sudden and loud in the quiet that it made my breathing come quicker. I didn’t know how I knew but I knew deep inside that it wasn’t Aias’ Malcolm outside.

Aias gives me a questioning look first and I nod quickly. This was his nice big room, he should have whoever he wanted to come inside even if there were more words in my head at the thought of having Master inside.

“Come in,” Aias calls smoothly, his voice sharp and a little scary. But his fingers were still touching me nicely so I don’t get scared at all.

The door slowly opens and Master steps in, his eyes immediately find mine and they hold me still as he shuts the door behind him. I immediately pull away from Aias, my hurting heart telling me to go to Master right away while the words told me to kneel in wait for my punishment.

The words were spoken by voices and they were loud. Really, really loud and mean, and cruel too... like the trainers were, in a way that made my body begin to shake a little.

“Would you mind giving me a moment with Kalem elf?” Master asks smoothly, his eyes leaving mine for only a second to give Aias a look that said that it wasn’t really a question.

I was Master’s in every way so he didn’t have to ask but I knew he was doing it to be nice because Master was a nice Master. But I also knew that Aias didn’t like to be told what to do, by anyone, so the grinding of Aias’ teeth sends an uncomfortable shiver down my spine as he brings himself to his feet in one fluid movement.

“Not at all,” He replies sounding surprisingly respectfully. “If that’s what Kalem desires.” He finishes icily.

Master’s muscles tense and he clenches his jaw in that way that made my naughty bits happy, I quickly shake my head and try to be a more focused Kalem instead of a dirty one. Master was still staring at Aias when I was controlled again, his eyes slowly pooling with red as time ticked on.

I look between my two favourite people in this whole entire world nervously, not knowing what to do to make them both happy again. Aias wouldn’t be upset if I asked him to go and it’d please Master, but the voices said that if I spoke when not spoken to it would Master even more upset.

Master figures out what to do before I can faint from my worries. He takes in a deep breath and releases it while his eyes return to their normal, pretty colour I loved.

When Master looks at me, my body goes all stiff as the voices yell at me to look away from Master but I didn’t want to and something in the way Master was looking at me told me he didn’t want me to.

“Well, love?” He questions carefully, a weak smile playing on his lips. “Can I speak to you, and only you, for just a moment?”

I find myself nodding yes before I can think of any other answer. My body choosing Master every time like it was supposed to and it made the voices a little quieter when Master’s smile turned happy.

I was being good.

“Then I’ll be off,” Aias announces plainly, but first he turns to pet me on the head. “If he’s troubling you, call me and I’ll deal with it.”

“That’s if you don’t lose your ears trying,” Master grumbles as Aias walks past him, only sending him a glare in response as he lets himself out. “Elves.” Master spits as we’re left alone.

My fingers fall to my sides as I sit and wait for an instruction, it takes me a moment to remember that I should be standing straight not sitting. So I stand and take my best stance while Master looks me over.

Even though the voices were loud and mean, and I was scared to mess up again, I could feel myself getting wet down below with Master’s dark eyes on me, studying all of me. I squirm uncomfortably as things grow tight below and look down at the floor with shame, slaves shouldn’t want or touch and last time I touched Master everything went wrong.

I try my very best to keep the position and keep still while I wait for a command or punishment. I try not to listen to my body that felt so wrong being like this with Master, especially when standing like this made my body tremble even more with memories of the slave house.

I had to stay still and perfect for Master. If he didn’t want me to be as he did during the last few months, then maybe he’d like this better.

“Kalem,” Master calls in that perfect way that made me want to look at him.

But I don’t.

“Y-Yes Master,” I reply shakily.

I didn’t mean to sound so scared but I was and my chest began to pump itself even harder with the sound of Master’s footsteps leading to me. Every step he takes makes my heart speed double and my fears grow as the voices with all their words got even crueller.

Digging my nails into the inside of my hands, I try to stop them from shaking and to think of all the nice times. Master never punished me, no matter what happened or what I did, he never punished me. He said I was his Kalem and Master was nice to his Kalem, he took him to see pretty flowers, like sunflowers and the long-word ones.

I shouldn’t be afraid of my Master.

I take in a shaky breath as Master’s shoes come into my vision and stop before me, only a small distance between us. Master was so close that I could feel his eyes on me and smell that nice smell that came from the spray he used every morning.

“Kalem, love, look at me,” Master instructs gently, and it made a small whine pull from me because even though I wanted to, I couldn’t. “It’s not a trick and I won’t get mad at you.”

Tears fill in my eyes as I stare at Master’s black shoes, the two blending together from the water filling my eyes. I wanted to be good, to listen, to just do as Master said but the voices were really loud and I could feel the whips on my back again from all the times I failed this test with the trainers.

Master lifts his fingers to touch me but stops when I begin to shake even more.

“I-I’m sorry M-Master,” I try through a whimper as I watch him lower his hand slowly with a breaking beating part in my chest.

Master doesn’t say anything for a while and it makes my eyes fill up with even more tears that spill out and drop one by one on the floor. I didn’t want to be disobedient and I didn’t want to be difficult, but everything I could do scared me because it could all be worse and that would only make things worse.

My sniffs and small sobs fill Aias’ room with sadness, giving it some of all the hurt inside me now.

They stop when my eyes show me Master lowering himself on his knees, the sight so sudden and wrong that it made all of me stick in surprise. When Master’s settled on his knees, he looks up at me and I wipe my tears away quickly to make sure I was seeing right.

Clearer eyes find Master’s dark, kind eyes looking back at me as he reaches for my limp hands. The shaking had stopped and so had the voices, every part of me too confused and shocked by what Master was doing to think about it all.

“There we go,” Master says happily as he presses kisses to each of my hands, his eyes never leaving mine. “All your focus on me.”

That’s when the things in my head decide to start working again and a late scream leaves me as I quickly try to pull Master up. But he doesn’t even shift a little even when I tried my very hardest to pull him up, he just continues to look at me with a new smirk on his lips.

“W-What are you doing Master?!” I exclaim as I plant my feet down and pull at his hands with all I had. “You shouldn’t kneel.”

“But isn’t that what I’m supposed to do when I need to be punished?” Master acts while tilting his head to the side.

I stop for a moment and stare at Master, a frown quickly forming on my face while he just kept smiling and it’s then that I’m reminded that I had a crazy Master.

“Kalem,” Master says a bit more seriously so I stop pulling him. Though it did feel wrong looking down at Master, so wrong that it made my insides feel played with, so I try to kneel down too. “No!” Master instructs so I stop and stand straight again. “Today, I’ll be the only one kneeling.”

“B-But you’re not a slave Master,” I argue uncomfortably as I grip the ends of my shirt.

“And neither are you,” Master replies calmly, “so why would you try to kneel as well.”

I open my mouth to reply but stop when I realise that I didn’t really know what to say to him. Master said before, from the first time that we met, that I wasn’t a slave and even though the voices said I was, Master’s voice was louder now.

“Slaves don’t have the rules that we do, do they?” Master continues and the reminder of our special rules makes me smile a little as I shake my head. “Who has those rules?”

“Only Kalem and his Master,” I answer quickly and Master smiles back at me making everything in me light up with happiness.

I answered Master before the voices could get to me because I knew that those rules were for Master and me only, and I pleased him.

“Do you remember all of our rules love?” Master asks with a raised brow, his hands gently caressing my sides to make me relax.

“Yes Master,” I reply and step a little closer, Master tugs me even closer so his chin was resting on my stomach making it flutter happily.

I missed having my Master so close.

“Can you tell me rule twelve?” Master asks hopefully so I search my head extra carefully to find the right one.

I falter a little when I remember all the words for that rule and what it meant, but Master had asked me to tell him it so I do.

“Master must keep his Kalem happy as much as he can,” I say a little quietly yet the kindness in Master’s eyes doesn’t fade away.

“And what’s the consequence for failing that rule?” Master asks, his hold on me tightening when I try to step back.

“M-Master didn’t do anything wrong,” I try but Master’s eyebrows pull together a little with disapproval. “Ma-”

“That’s not what I asked you Kalem,” Master says cutting me off, his frown deepening as he looks up at me. “I asked you what the consequence was for failing the rule. Can you tell me what it is love, please?”

I stare at Master unsurely but he gives me a little nod, his fingers moving continuously against my skin in the way that made me melt for him.

“I-If Master fails to d-do this, Kalem must p-punish his Master any way he sees fit,” I answer hesitantly and wait for Master’s reaction.

Master had been the one to make that rule and when he did I’d giggled in his lap because I thought it was a silly rule. I didn’t think he’d actually remember it or listen to it, but with the way Master was looking at me, I could tell that he was going to follow it completely.

“Now, I know you’ll deny it to the day you die to keep me happy but... you haven’t been happy these last few days,” Master starts gently and when I try to argue you he pins me with a look that shuts me up immediately. “When you told me that you loved me it, in all honestly, terrified me. I’ve lived thousands of lives and heard those words even more, but never once did I feel the same when I heard them.

It was scary for me, entirely ghastly at that moment and it made me panic. I understand now that my panicking left you lost and confused, my reaction only worsening it. I fucked up Kalem and in turn, it fucked you up or at least you thoughts of what we are. For that, I’m eternally apologetic my love.”

I stare blankly at Master, blinking quietly as his words settle in and quiet all the others for a little bit.

“Now the only way I can fix this, is the right way,” Master continues and he looked a little scared which didn’t make any sense to me. “You are mine and I am yours, so the only way to do that, the only right way, is by our rules. The rules meant for us and only us.”

I smile a little at that and Master kisses the free skin under my shirt as he wraps his arms around me entirely and hugs me close.

“So, my love, what will my punishment be?” Master asks and a giggle falls from me when I realise that he was a little scared of what the punishment would be.

I rest my hands on Master’s shoulders to keep me still as I giggle happily. I wasn’t excited to punish Master, nothing about that made me happy inside but seeing Master look so scared was a little funny and Master looked cute when he was scared.

“Nothing cruel,” Master pleads as he looks at me with cautious eyes. “Or permanent.”

“But the rule says it’s up to me Master,” I tease before I can think better of it.

Master groans in clear misery that only makes me laugh even more as he throws his head back before he buries his face into my stomach. Quiet pleas pour from Master ut they come out muffled in my clothes, smiling I slip my hesitant fingers into his hair and twist them around my knuckles.

While Master begs, I try to think of a punishment for Master.

It wouldn’t be anything that would hurt Master’s body because those were the worst and they always made me cry and I never wanted to make Master cry. Plus only mean people did things to hurt people like that; mean, evil people.

And it couldn’t be anything that would be given to a slave because MAster wasn’t a slave. He was a nice, weird man who made me smile and held me close as he did now.

I didn’t know what to do because everything left would only hurt us both.

“I don’t know what to do Master,” I admit after a few minutes and Master stops his begging to look at me.

“No ideas at all?” He asks in surprise and I shake my head. “You can’t think of a single thing that would upset me enough to make me learn my lesson here?”

“I don’t want to make Master upset.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Master says thoughtfully before he tries again. “A punishment is meant to teach someone a lesson, deter them from doing that wrong thing again. So there must be something you can think of that would make me think twice, not that all this was intentional.”

I think again about all the things Master liked and didn’t like, things that made him frown and shout. Master didn’t like some fruits I ate, making him eat them would do that but I didn’t think that was good enough.

“There must be something I don’t like that you do,” Master presses and it makes something in my head go ‘toot’.

“I know!” I cheer happily as I jump in Master’s arms. “I know! I know! I know!”

“Okay, okay don’t be so excited about my misery,” Master replies as I continue to jump happily on my toes, I wanted to say a thank you to someone but I didn’t know who so I sent it to the magical gods in the sky. “Well then what is it?”

I open my mouth but then stop when I think of something else, it was a little mean but Master said it should make him upset.

“Can it be two things Master?” I ask Master and he frowns deeply before he sighs heavily and nods.

“I deserve it,” Master replies tiredly.

“Okay, two things,” I say jumping a little again and start with the mean one. “Master can’t hug me and I can’t hug Master until I say so.”

Master’s frown fades when I say that as confusion pulls across his face and a little pain too, it made my heart squeeze and I hated this one too. But Master told me before that he hadn’t hugged anyone before me and that he had started to like the ones between us a lot, so even though it would hurt us both... it was a good punishment.

“The second?” Master asks unsurely.

I smile widely as I begin to shake with excitement and happiness and everything good.

“Tonight,” I start as I look down at Master, “Master and I can mess as much as we want to but tomorrow... Master can’t clean me up inside.”

Master’s face drops at that and I squeal with happiness.


When I tell you I will never love another the way I love Kalem.


It’s been such a long time, I know and I’m sorry. I got back to university and as soon as I began to get settled - CORONA. I don’t know what the fuck is going on in 2020, but it feels like end times so read your bibles and say your prayers.

In all seriousness, please stay safe everyone and above all kind. Too many people are turning to their darkest thoughts and are losing the parts of them that make them human. Violence and hatred are spreading when love should be, try to be different.

I got home a few days ago and got to writing, my parents have quarantined me so no distractions.

Vote up and comment if you liked.

Until next time,

Byeeeeeeeeeeee Humanssssssssssssss

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