Rogue

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Chapter 11

“What’s your favorite color?” I ask J as we try to walk to the next tree. Try being the operative word. “I feel like you’re a red kinda man.”

He doesn’t reply. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t even focusing on me, just on making his feet move the way he wanted them to.

Today we were working on his walking. He was really trying his hardest, growling everytime he tripped and throwing a fit everytime he took me down with him.

He didn’t like hurting me.

Though about ninety-nine percent of his weight was pressed onto me, it was still a valiant effort. I tried to keep the mood light with conversation, but obviously it was bound the fail. Nevertheless, I couldn’t just leave him to brood in the selfhatred he showcased as he continuously glared at his feet.

“My favorite color is orange.” I say bouncing his arm higher onto my aching shoulder, my fingers tightly gripping his own. “I just like that it’s bright and subtle all at once. And don’t tell me they’re different shades and tones of each color, cause it’s different. Yellow is too bright and some reds are too dark, orange is just right.”

J takes his eyes away from his feet to look at me. He stops us in our fifth attempt of walking from tree to tree and pulls me by my shoulder, his lips meeting my forehead. His lips are gentle and loving and I melt into him as a thousand butterflies flutter in my stomach.

He releases me. Looks to my head, trails his eyes down to mine, keeps them there before glancing briefly down to my lips. I bite them subconsciously making the air between us denser.
He suddenly looks at them with the same intensity he’d previously directed to walking. Before my hopes could peak, he shakes his head profusely before glaring at his feet and nudging me a little.

Eventually we make it to the tree, both of us panting in aspiration as we leaned against the ancient wood.
I bring a gentle hand to the spot he’d kissed, a feverish blush running up my neck and displaying itself on my cheeks. Ever since I kissed him on his cheek that one time, he’d been doing it nonstop.

He used it as a way of comforting me or just saying thanks, but sometimes I felt he was just doing it because he could.

He always kissed my forehead or my cheek; never anywhere else. This was because those were the places I’d kissed him, so like most things, he’d mirrored my actions.

It made me wonder what he’d do if I kissed him on his lips. Would he draw me in more or... would he take it even further?

Sometimes I caught him looking at my neck in deep curiosity, his wolf most likely driving him to mark me. But he most definitely didn’t know what that was, let alone how it worked.

Should I tell him... show him perhaps? But was that taking advantage of someone who didn’t know? Was it wrong to withhold it; he was my mate. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do, and I couldn’t even ask the people who always knew the answer to everything.

The kiss J presses to my cheek brings me back to reality as I jump a little in his hold. He pulls back to look at me, worry etching his features as he held my face in his large hands, his thumbs massaging my skin.

“I’m fine.” I say but he didn’t seem to buy it. “I am, just got a little lost up here.” I say pointing to my head.

He looks to the place I’d pointed to and frowns a little. My eyebrows meet in response but I’m not given the opportunity to question him as he leans in and kisses the place I’d pointed to. He pulls back before looking to me again.

The laughter rolls it’s way up my throat before I can stop it. I double over, my head pressing against his chest as my amusement gets the best of me.

“I didn’t mean...” I start but my words are quickly drowned out by another wave of laughter.

Confusion is etched into his features but he doesn’t move. He just watches me. No longer worried, just a little confused. When I finally regain control of myself, I stand tall to look at him. A smile lays on his lips, mirroring the large one stretched across my own. The sight warms my entire being and I take it all in gratefully.

“I don’t know what I would do without you.” I whisper as I draw closer to him. “I don’t think I could’ve kept going much longer.”

He expression remains gleeful and I keep my smile up, not to disturb him. I knew he couldn’t understand me but I just needed him to know, know that I couldn’t live without him.

“Okay.” I say after a moment, redirecting my gaze to the tree we’d travelled from before. “Let’s try again.”

He groans loudly and shakes his head vigorously.

“Come on J, you’re getting better.” I insist as I loop our arms to pull him up. He stands reluctantly with a deep glare pinpointed directly at me. “Ready?” I question despite the clear reluctance. He looks to me and then to the tree and then to me once more, his gaze hardens before he tackles me to the floor.

We land with a small thud in the heap of autumn leaves which littered the ground. Like a child, J lays on top of me, his weight pinning me down when I try to get up.

“Very nice.” I comment when I finally give up and let him cage me to the floor. “You’ll never learn to walk and it won’t be my fault.”

Our eyes meet and my annoyance slips away almost instantly. Everything slipped away with J.
Every problem, worry, heartache and heartbreak.
Everything.

He leans down and kisses my forehead and then my cheek and then all over my face until I’m squirming beneath him. Squeals and giggles making it out as he lathered me with affection.

I find the strength to pull him back by his bare shoulders, far enough for me to breathe without laughing. I pant below him but he just smiles with that big, dazzling smile that brightens my entire world. A chuckle escapes his lips and my heart burts with a newfound joy at the sound. I look to him wit unimaginable glee evading every nerve from the brief noise.

“You are going to be the end of me.” I comment running my hand through his hair. We’d managed to unknot it enough for me to enjoy how soft it really was.

“Now if you’re not going to try walking anymore, why don’t we try dressing you again?” I say gesturing to the pile of clothes I’d tried and failed to dress him in earlier. His smiles fades instantly and he attempts an escape, but I don’t let him.

It’s my turn to tackle him as I keep him pressed to the ground. I laugh above him as he tries crawling away with me still on him.

J hates clothes.
If it was one thing I noticed about him since our initial meeting, it was that he absolutely hates them with a burning passion.
He hates them on me because it stops him from touching me freely, well touching me the way he wants to. The thrilling skin to skin contact of mates that sent electricity running up one’s spine.

At the start, that led to a lot of my shirts being torn open, something which led to me yelling a lot and him being fucking adorable until I’d forgiven him.
Now he knew to tap my shoulder when he couldn’t stand it and I’d pull off my shirt for him. Teaching him that was a lot harder than teaching Damon to stop poking people in their eyes as a baby.

“At least with the pants, your friend will be a lot less distracting.” I say keeping my eyesight in the plain of PG audiences.

I roll off of him eventually and quickly grab the underwear and pants from the pile before returning to him. I separate the two and hold up the loose boxers I thought would fit him. I had a feeling briefs would make mad.

And a mad J was not so cute.

“These usually go on after you shower, to keep you clean, but now will have to do.” I explain as I tug at the waistbands playfully. “One leg in, then the other.” I say before kneeling down a bit. I stare at his stationed legs waiting from a moment before looking up to find his unentertained expression.

“This foot,” I say demonstrating with my left foot before tapping his. “Then the other.”

When he steps into the dark grey fabric, I quickly pull it up, letting it snap against his skin at the top. He jumps at the snap and fists his hands at his sides as he glared at the fabric. I lean back a bit to get a better look, and Goddess above wasn’t I blessed with a gorgeous mate.

“I don’t know why I like you more like this.” I reveal tapping my finger against my chin. He looks at me with a pained expression and I quickly hug him. J loved hugs too, they seemed to always calm him. “You’ll get acustom to it, I promise.”

He releases a groan and I roll my eyes before unfolding the pants. He grabs the item from me before throwing them as far as his powerful arms could extend.
I watch where they land before turning to him with an unamused expression while he just smiles smugly.

“You may not be able to walk but I can.” I say with a smirk and the frown that replaced his features told me he understood he just got roasted.

I dodge his attempt to grab me and quickly rush to the spot of the loose shorts I’d snatched for him. I turn back to find him sitting in the grass with only his boxer briefs, folded arms lying across his chest at the spot I left him, the site hysterical and cute.

“I’ll let you off today.” I say dropping the pants when I jogged back to him. “But next time you’re putting them on.”

He sends me a victorious smile that made me want to stuff his mouth with the stupid shorts. I ignore it and sit us down after grabbing the large bag I brought today, I dig through it before pulling out a pile of pictures.

“Today, you’re going to meet my family.” I say as he pulls me into his lap with a curious look. I settle into straddling him before showing him the first picture.

It was a picture of Peter and I. We were covered in dried paint, our clothes drenched with the foamy water that was sprayed on us feom the festival we went to. I’d forced Peter to come and though he tried to run away initially, by the end of it he was singing along softly to the songs of his favorite band. In the picture, he was on my shoulders with the biggest smile in the middle of a crowd having just as much fun as we were.

“This is Peter.” I say pointing to my long haired brother, his expression was more radiant that usual, his eyes so vibrant with life.

J takes the picture and inspects it wonderously before looking at Peter, he studies him for a moment and the position we were in. I snatched the picture back just before he could rip it and send him a murderous glare.

“No!” I shout, my voice stilling him. “Peter is my brother.” I say firmly, my eyes drilling holes through his skull.

He holds my gaze ambitiously, defiance brimming in his eyes but he eventually sighs in defeat. As if understanding that this wasn’t a matter he’d win against.

“He’s just my baby brother, nothing else.” I say more calmly. “He’s the sweetest kid you’ll ever meet.” I promise but he looks away with a small pout like the big baby he was.

I smile a little and grab his face in my face, squeezing his cheeks together as I look at him.

“You’re the only one for me. The only one I love.” I confess earnestly before kissing his nose. He crinkles his nose before kissing the palm of my hand.

“Now, this is Damon.” I say tucking Peter’s picture at the bottom of the small pile. This picture wasn’t so sweet, well at least to Damon, but I loved it anyway.

He was dressed in a unicorn onesie with the biggest frown on his face, his legs folded underneath him and his arms crossed. Leaning over him, with arms looped around his neck was Amelia in a Panda onesie with the biggest smile of all time.

“Damon.” I say pointing to him. “He’s seventeen, so he’ll be alpha next year. He’s not the most pleasant guy in the world but he’s the best to have fighting on your side. He may look like a big meanie... but he’s sweet on the inside, deep inside.” I joke but J doesn’t get it so I chuckle to myself. “That’s Amelia, his best friend and my money is on her being his mate. Like you and me. Anyways, she’s known him since they were kids and she’s the only person besides the family who can tame him.”

J smiles a little at the picture before pointing to the onesies.

“Amelia is obsessed with Pandas, I think it’s a blood thing cause so is Uncle Emitt. Anyway, she forced Damon to wear one too and of course, she got her way in the end.” I say with a fond smile before glancing up to J. “I’d love to see you in a onezie, maybe a deer or unicorn too.”

I chuckle at the unamused expression he wore when I did a few hand signals that got him to understand what I said.

“Okay next is Hagen and Josey.” I continue pulling forth the next picture. “They’re the youngest in the family and they’re twins, that’s why they look alike. Josey may be the only girl, but she holds her own. She can be mean sometimes but she doesn’t really mean it, plus it’s always with love. Hagen is the sweeter of the two, he can be a bit daft sometimes but overall he’s a pretty smart kid.”

J examines the photo of Hagen and Josey raiding the fridge which dad took when they were a little younger. He chuckles with amusement before giving me back the picture.

“Now these are my parents,” I say studying the last picture with a smile.

It was a picture of me between both my dads who were squeezing the living daylights out of me in their attempt at a hug. Damon took it the day before I left for university.
Both their eyes were a bit watery but the smiles were loving, I was holding onto them tightly with tears of my own. I loved this picture so much, it reminded me of what it was like when I first met my dads, how they held onto me and took me as their own without being forced to. It reminded me of how much they loved me.

J tries to peak over a bit to see the image but I keep it close. He releases a small grumble but I ignore it as I study the image.

“Julian is amazing.” I start as I look at his bright blue eyes. “He’s a bit hard on the outside, but when you get to know him..... he’s everything and more.

He says he sucks with kids but he’s wrong, he’s like the best parent you could ever ask for. I remember the first time I got in a fight in school, I sat in the office crying cause I thought they’d send me away. But dad wasn’t angry or disappointed.” I say with a chuckle. “He was so happy, happy that I stood up for myself and that I stopped someone from bullying others.”

“When someone knocks you down, you don’t stay down. You get up and you fight for what you believe in. And if you always do that, know that I will always be in your corner Levi. No matter what, you will always have me.”

I blink my eyes rapidly to dismiss the tears which were forming in my eyes before looking at J with a big, wobbly smile.

He snatches the picture from me with eyes of anger to see what was making me so emotional. His eyes soften however when he realises it’s just a picture of people he didn’t recognise like the ones before.

“That’s him.” I say pointing to Julian. He studies him with an expression quiet different than the ones he held for my siblings.

He brings the picture closer, looking at him before looking up at me for explanation. I frown with my own layer of confusion. What did he want me to tell him? What did he want to know?

J releases an aggravated sigh before shaking his head and grabbing the other photos. He shuffles through them before finding the one of me and Peter. He puts the images next to each other and holds them up to me. He points at Julian and then Peter and then Julian again. When it finally clicks I can’t help but laugh.

“No, they’re not the same person.” I say through light chuckles. “Peter is my brother, Julian is my dad. Julian had Peter after Damon.”

He looks at me after my explanation looking just as lost as when he saw the picture. Then a face of realisation dawns on him and he holds up the picture of Hagen and Josey.

Goddess my mate is adorable.

“They’re not twins J.” I say with a fond smile. “Father and son.”

He doesn’t look like he would be understanding the difference between them anytime soon so I don’t bother pestering him on it. It was occasions like this where he couldn’t explain what he wanted well enough for me to understand and we’d just have to drop it.

He then returns to the picture of me and my dads and points to the large man on my right and looks up to me.

“That’s Aiden.” I start as I look at my dad. “Everyone loves him. To the pack, he’s more than an alpha, he’s a friend. He’s the pack mascot, warrior and leader all in one and with dad by his side, he’s unstoppable.

.........he’s my hero.”

-----flashback-----

Screams.
All I could hear were screams.
For the first time in months, I could hear the screams of someone else besides myself. They were everywhere all at once making my heart race with the knowledge that I’d be joining them soon.

The room was still dark, it was always dark. And I was always stuck, stuck to this table that I couldn’t move from.
I stopped waiting for someone to come save me, there was nobody left to come for me.

Nobody but Jayson....

The thought of him makes my chest squeeze itself, the air I was desperately gasping for escaping me because of the muzzle I wore.
I should’ve listen to Jayson, I shouldn’t have been so stupid.

I miss him.....

A door swings open, allowing light to my eyes for the first time in months.
It burns. I release a small cry I wish I didn’t as I shut my eyes close, wishing to disappear this very moment.

I could hear the cries of others louder than before now, I hated it cause it sounded just like the ones the night mama and papa died.

Rushed steps bring someone close to me. My chest pushes painfully against the leather strap across my frame. I didn’t want to go through anything else, I just wanted to be with Jayson.

“We don’t have much time, open your eyes kid.” I hear a rough voice say and I bite my lips to stiffle my cries.

When I don’t listen they groan with annoyance before tearing the strap from my chest. A loud scream makes its way past the muzzle when something drives its way into my heart.

My eyes water uncontrollably as small sobs escape me. Something was spreading through me, making me feel itchy and cold inside.

“Stay still or it’ll hurt more.” He says before slamming my head down on the table.

Everything becomes fuzzy then.
All I could feel was the pain that was bleeding it’s way through my head on the inside.

I barely felt the needle enter my eye, I didn’t fight it or cry anymore.

Everything was too much and I didn’t want to fight anymore. Nothing good ever happened when I fought, I just ended up hurt and alone.

......I just want it all to end.
Why couldn’t it all just stop?
Why did I just keep getting hurt?

I want to go home.
I want my mama.
I want my papa.
I want Jayson..

Crack

The sound snaps me back to the present when I realise the man was no longer above me. Instead, there was someone on him, someone hitting him....... someone that saved me.

I watch the punishment with wide eyes, catching glimpses of the fiery red eyes the man had. He looked scary but I didn’t feel scared.

"Don’t worry I’m not going to kill you.” The man says with a deep, almost happy voice. He had a smile to match. “I’m going to take my time repaying you for what you’ve done to me, I prepared a room for you in the dungeons back home. It’s dark just like you like it, has all your favourite tools and some of my own. I’ll break you, the same way you broke me.”

He slams his head into the wall the same way the man did to me. He breathes heavily like i was, our chest rising and falling at the same time.
Then he looks to me and I freeze.

He takes two steps to me and quickly rips the muzzle off, instinct takes over and I sink my teeth into his hand. He hisses in pain before pushing my head away.

Why did I just do that?
He saved me. He’s a good guy.
He’s not one of the bad ones.

The man looks at his hand angrily before look at me. He’s going to hurt me. I begin to push frantically against the restraints but freeze when he speaks.

“Did you not see me take him out? I’m on your side!” He shouts and I feel my insides curl. I felt scared inside but for some reason I wanted nothing more than to hurt him like they hurt me.

You can’t trust anyone but yourself.
They are all bad and they will all hurt you.
Hurt them before they hurt you.

I shiver at the cold voice which fills my thoughts and enters my soul. I try pushing it away but it just grows louder and louder.

Hurt him.

"I know you don’t know me but I’m not a rogue, so don’t attack. I’m going to take off the restraints okay?” The man says, but I barely hear him over the voice in my head.

Make them feel the pain you felt.

The man pulls the bands off until im completely free. I want to run to him. Hold onto him and never let go because he saved me.

But I don’t.

My body takes me to the knife I see on the table and it drives it towards him. I pray to Goddess that it doesn’t hit him and it doesn’t.

Instead, it turns dark suddenly but I don’t panic, because I knew I’m safe.


---------end of flashback-------

I blink rapidly to bring myself back to reality. I look around now confused as to what happened and where I was.

My eyes find J. My body tight against him as he whines with worry. His hands holding my face as his dark orbs search my own.

I wany to assure him that I’m fine but I can’t. My mind was a mess and I could barely put together all the memories that just pushed it’s way back to surface.

I hold onto him tightly as he runs my back gently, pressing kisses all over me as he drowned me in the love and safety I so desperately needed right now.

But I couldn’t focus on my mate or anything he did as much as I wanted to. Not with the name that was still running it’s way through my mind.

Jayson
Who is he? And why did I need him?

-------------

Ooooooooooooooo
Mysterious shit!!!
Lmfao thoughts??

Tried to make this update long for you guys, hope you enjoyed.
Make sure to vote and comment if you did.

I love comments!!!

Anyways,
Have a great, horrible week of prison I mean school/work/university/prison.

Until next time,
Byyeeeeeeeee convictsssss I mean humanssssssss

^Clearly I’m in a good mood

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