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Chapter 19

J’s P.O.V

My life is weird now.

I live in Levi’s cave now. Today was my second day here, but it was still strange. It was really, really big and made of trees not rocks like mine.
But I liked trees, so I liked his cave.

There were things about Levi’s cave that were weird. Like how the water came from anywhere, you just had to turn the top part really hard and it’d appear. There was also this cold box which had all the food, I think it went hunting when we slept because it was always full. But I didn’t understand why it kept the food cold when the black top would make it hot again.

Why couldn’t the box keep it hot?
Or the black top could go hunting instead?

I don’t even know how to start unraveling this one - Roger sighs in my mind.

I didn’t ask you to - I growl back. I hear a creak from outside the door and hold my breath, squeezing my knees super tight.

Just because you hold your breath doesn’t mean he won’t find you.

Shut up Roger - I spit trying to keep my chest from beating too fast.

How I, Roger the magnificent, ended up as your wolf still preceeds me - Roger comments making me laugh a little.

Roger the magnificent? I don’t know what that means but that sounds too nice for a troll like you

Wow, troll. You learnt a new word, I should tell Levi to keep reading you more bed time stories!

Levi lo-

The doors swing open allowing some of the day light in, exposing me to my predator. I look up to see Levi smiling down at me as he gripped the wood in his hands.

“Found you.” He says with a widening smile.

This is all your fault Roger!

Please explain to me how this is my fault. Please!

“Now, let’s not waste anymore time.” Levi says offering me his hand. I knew from the past that running didn’t help, he’d always find me.

So I take his smaller hand instead and let him pull me to my feet. He pushes himself up on his toes to press his lips to my nose before pulling me to the room of waters.

The bathroom. It’s called a fucking bathroom - Roger insists with rising anger. I’ve told you this literally a hundred times! It’s a bathroom not a room of waters, that doesn’t even make any sense!

It’s a room filled with water. Water comes from everything in the room. So it’s a room of waters - I reply simply before redirecting my attention to Levi who was already looking at me.

“What I’d give to hear what you and your wolf talk about?” He says and I frown at that. I didn’t understand everything that he said, but he said wolf which meant Roger and anything with Roger was never good.

Thanks buddy - He scoffs.


“Now let’s get you in before the water becomes too cold.” He says as he dips his water into the steaming water.

Since Levi brought me here, he said that every morning we had to take something called a shower, to get clean. But I didn’t like them, I felt like the water was trying to bury me.
So Levi said we could try the bathtub today, but now that it had so much hot water, I didn’t want to do it anymore.

“I’ll be right here the entire time.” Levi whispers as he presses his lips to my shoulder making my insides swirl. I look at him for a moment before nodding. I take off the clothes on my legs he made me sleep in before raising one and putting it inside the hot water.

He held my hands as I put my other foot in and then slowly helped me sink in the water completely. I thought it would be too small but I fit in with extra space.

“I suppose we have Uncle Beckett to thank for being such a skyscraper.” Levi says something but I think he was taking to himself, so I don’t try to understand.

I liked this bath. It was nice and warm and big. I liked that Levi’s cave had hot and cold water, I only had cold in the woods.

“I take it you like it.” Levi says from his spot besides the tub, where he was sitting on a little chair. I nod quickly and he laughs as some of the water splashes out. “Well you can take them instead of showers.”

I tug his hand a little for him to come in but he shakes his head with a laugh.

“I’ll take a shower don’t worry.” He says something that sounds like a no so I keep tugging. “I’ll scrub you from here its fine.”

He takes his hand away and my eyebrows meet as I look to him. He rubs his thumb between them making me pull back and him laugh.

“What’s first?” He asks raising one finger, so I point to the bar he called soap. He smiles before he wets the soap and rubs his up and down my arm, using his hands to spread it everywhere. He does this for my entire body before letting me dip myself back into the water.

“Now, close your eyes.” He says and I do it before he has to show me what he meant. I heard him say those words and knew what they meant.
He kisses me making me a jump a little but I keep my eyes closed. He pulls back too quickly and begins rubbing the soap all over my face. I hold my breath and wait for him to tap my shoulder, when he does, I splash the water into my face until its all gone.

“You’re all done.” Levi says leaning against the tub. “I’ll wash your hair tomorrow.”

I raise my hand to touch his cheek. His eyes shut as he brings his hand to rest over my own, he holds it to him as he sinks into the hold comfortable. I take in a deep breath at the way my body buzzes from the touch, my insides swirling with excitement. He releases a breath as a small smile stretches across his lips.

“I love having you with me like this.” He says with his eyes still closed. “I wish I’d done this a long time ago.”

We stay like this for a long time before he pulls away and stands. I stare at him as he steps back and begins taking off his clothes.

I swallow as something below becomes tight and every piece of me urges me to him. I look away to hold myself back, forcing myself to think of anything else but my mate.

“You can stay in the bath until it gets cold.” Levi says. He sounded amused by my actions, heat rose up my neck because of it.

I didn’t look back until I heard the shower water run. The steam quickly blocked me from seeing anymore of him but I was still excited from him.
I looked down at the effect and growled lowly, I didn’t know how to make it go away so I tried to ignore it.

That’s not going to work - Roger comments, clearly enjoying my suffering. Oh how I wish blue balls could kill.

I decide to ignore him and focus on things besides the pulsing need and Roger’s mean comments.

Today I was supposed to meet Levi’s inner wolf, but it wasn’t a wolf, it was a jaguar and it was on the outside. Levi said it was his best friend and that it would live here too.
I could tell he wanted me to like this Jaguar, so I decided to try and to be nice. Because that would make Levi happy and if Levi was happy, then I’d be happy and everyone would feel good inside.

“Okay, time to dry off J.” Levi says bringing me back. I look up to see him holding one of the fluffy blankets for me, one already wrapped around him.
I get out quickly and follow him out of the room of waters.

Dear Goddess.... - Roger mutters.


“Now some rules to remember before I open this door.” Levi says with his hand on the shiny circle. “No fighting, no growling, no Jealous J, only Kind J and absolutely no shifting.”

Don’t shift, be nice and we’ll be fine - Roger says shortly after.

I nod at this and Levi smiles a little but he still looked a little scared. He took in a lot of air and then opened the door.

The jaguar stared straight up at me, it’s eyes never leaving mine. I saw challenge in them and held my fists super tight to not attack. Instinct pushed me to make it submit or to kill it, but Levi wouldn’t be happy if I did.
It looked away and then came in. I think it was talking with my mate because they were both making faces at each other.

A body of it’s own, seperate from the human component... one could only dream - Roger says but I brush him off.

“J, this is Caspar. He says hello.” Levi says with a smile.

It says sup

I reach out my hand which makes Levi smile a little while the big cat stares at it for a moment before looking back at Levi.

“He can’t shake that babe.” Levi says putting my hand down. I frown at this and then at the cat, did it not want like me already.

I don’t blame him, you’d disgust children

You disgust Levi - I snap back. I didn’t know what the word meant but I think it would hurt him if it was meant me hurt me.

...take that back

I smile to myself at Roger’s pain which spread inside of me, I’d be using that word more now.

“I know I didn’t plan this very well.” Levi says to the pet making me strain a little. “I didn’t think ahead Caspar, I forgot that he wouldn’t be able to hear you. Yes I know he wouldn’t be able to understand even if he could.”

Levi turns to me looking very tired so I quickly rush to his side. I check all over his body to make sure he’s okay and he doesn’t fight me.

“He’s just protective.” Levi says and I guess he was talking to the cat again. “Yes, it’s very cute.”

I wanted to know what he was saying but Roger was very quiet now and I couldn’t risk having him talk again by asking.

Once I’m sure mate is okay, I sink down to the cat’s level and stare at it. I wanted to know what it was thinking but it didn’t talk like Levi and it’s face was to furry to guess what it was thinking.
Before it could move back, I raise my hand slowly. It stared at it but didn’t move away, eventually my fingers reaches its fur and it stiffens. I wait a little and then run my hand down it’s back. It curls against my touch and I try focusing on the spots I liked Levi to scratch when I was in my primary form. Soon it’s rolling on the floor while I scratched at it’s stomach.

“I did not see this coming.” Levi says quietly above me. The cat stands to rub against me and I smile, it was furry and kind. It made me feel nice inside. It was cute too.

“Well I guess that’s one less relationship I have to worry about.” Levi says worth crossed arms. “This is good, this is very good.”

I stand and my mate pulls me against him. He holds me tight, rubbing my back with one hand and playing with my hair with the other.

Congrats, you passed mutt - Roger says making me growl inside but I ignore him.

“I’ll show you around in a second Caspar, just let me set J up with breakfast.” My mate was talking again but I was just focused on how warm he was. His arms around me made me feel safe and I liked it.

He pulled us apart, putting his fingers with mine before pulling me to his feeding grounds. When he goes to the cold box, I take my seat on the high wood that let me watch his every move.


He slides a small box filled with grapes towards me and I smile at them. In Levi’s cave, he always had the things I liked. I could always eat grapes, whenever I wanted, it was paradise.

“Watch closely babe, by next week I want you doing this on your own.” Levi says point at me before opening the super, cold box.

While I snacked, I watched as he took out dead hare and then a big knife. He skinned it until it was bare and then chopped it into pieces, he put them and a big metal tray before putting it into the hot box. He didn’t leave it for too long because whenever I ate food like his, I got really sick and it all came right back out.

“One basically raw hare.” Levi says pushing the tray to me. I lick my lips to stop the drool that escaped my drawn canines, I didn’t know which to eat first. Then I stopped and quickly ran to my mate, he looks up to me with big eyes. My eyes hold his as I raise his hands with my own, pressing my lips gently to each knuckle. I only look away when I’m done, then I rush back to my seat and start eating.

He stands still for a moment before clearing his throat and looking in the cold box for his own food. I hope he wasn’t mad, I was just trying to say thank you.

That’s what words are for, oh wait...

You should be happy I can’t talk like Levi. Or I’d find a witch to kill you

That’d kill you too stupid

My mate doesn’t have a you and he’s fine

Levi’s special and besides, he’s not fine....

I frown at Roger’s words as I stare at my mate who had taken a seat besides me with a plate of food for himself. It was different than mine but he seemed to like it.

I tried to keep eating but I would keep thinking to what Roger said. I wanted to ask if he was fine, if everything was okay. And if it wasn’t, I wanted him to tell me how to fix it and how I could make him feel good inside all the time. But I didn’t even understand when he spoke and I couldn’t make myself talk, even when I tried really hard.

“What’s wrong?” My mate asks with a frown. “Why aren’t you eating?”

Are you happy?
Are you happy with me?

I want to ask him that but I couldn’t. This makes me feel like a bad mate, I want to be a good mate but I’m not, not really. If something was wrong with him, really really wrong, I wouldn’t know. I wouldn’t know and he could get hurt. He could be suffering, in pain and I wouldn’t know. I should always know. How can I protect him if I don’t know? Ho-

“Hey now,” Levi says now infront of me, his body between my legs as he held my face in his hands. “What’s wrong baby?”

I look up to him and he rubs away the water from my eyes.

“Why are you crying?” He asks gently but he looked sad now. I could feel that my own pain was hurting him.
I didn’t want to hurt him so I tried really hard to make it stop but the water kept coming.

I pulled my head from his face so he couldn’t see me and put it in his neck. I pulled him to me, squeezing him to me so I could keep him close. His arms come around me and rub in that way that made me calm down.

“It’s okay.” He whispers pressing his lips to my skin. “I’m right here.”

When the water stops, he puts our food away before taking me to another room. He lies me down with him and holds me close. I breathe in his scent from his chest and close my eyes.

“Do you think you can wait for that tour Caspar? J’s a little upset.” I hear Levi say but I don’t understand. I try not to let it hurt.

I feel something wet at my ear so I turn to see the black cat staring at me. I smile a little and rub it before returning to my mate’s warmth.

“I think his thoughts are scaring him, he just needs a little rest.” My mates says and presses a kiss to my head. I let it sink in and close my eyes, locking my fingers around him so he can’t escape me. “I’m not going anywhere, I love you too much to.”

Those words I understood and those words made it easy to breathe again.

I love you too mate.


“You need to go.”

“No, I want to meet him.”

“He’s not good with people and I’m guessing equally bad with surprises.”

“What proof do you have of that? He met dad and Caspar, they’re both alive.”

“He thinks Caspar is a pet and he knew we were going to meet dad, he doesn’t expect you Hagen.” Levi says, his voice pulling me awake. “Shut it Caspar, you love it.”

I open my eyes and find my arms empty making me frown. I wanted mate. I turn quickly to find mate standing with a small man in front of him and the cat by my feet.

They stop talking as they stare at me and I stare right back at them. Why was mate so far away? Who was this new man? Why did new man look like the other man? Why were there so many men?

“Hey.” Levi says coming to me. My body relaxes when I feel his skin on mine, the touch making me shiver. I feel myself ease a little now that mate was back where he belonged, with me.

I sniff mate and frown when I smell a new scent on him. I look back to the man and frown more, it was his scent. He smiles a little and scratches his neck.

“I-I’m Hagen, Levi’s favourite little bro.” The small man says.

“I never said that.”

“Anyways, Levi said you were here so I thought I’d come say hi. Ya know, cause I care.” Hagen says with a big smile then he puts his hand out for me. “This is how you say hello right?”

I stare at the hand for a moment before looking up at him, my canines coming down.

“Not in the hello mood, that’s cool. I’m not that into Adele either.” He says pulling his hand back.

“Hagen, I think he’s upset to find you here without explanation.” Mate says running his hand through my hair. I sink myself into him and soak in the feeling.

“I just gave an explanation, he just couldn’t understand it.” The man says and shrugs.

This is your mate’s brother, he’s trying to be nice. You be nice too - Roger says so I listen.

I put mate down before standing. I make my way to the small man who backs away from me with each step. When he’s trapped, I try smiling at him and then hug him like how I hugged Levi.

“Quite the hugger you got here.” Little man says. “It’s hard to breathe but that’s fine.”

I put him down and he coughs before smiling at me.

“Hagen.” He says putting his arm out again. I shake it and his smile widens. “See Levi, he’s cool with me being here.”


“I even brought the big guy a little present.” The little man says as he takes out a piece of paper from his clothes. “Little birdy told me you only eat raw animals. I went hunting today and got you a deer, it’s outside but here’s a picture of it.”

I take the paper and stare at it before turning to mate, I didn’t understand why the little man was teasing me with my favourite food.

Hagen got you a deer for you to eat, it’s outside

My eyes go wide as I look at the little man who I now really liked. I pulled him into a hug again and swung him around.

“Oh we’re hugging again, that’s cool.” Little man says.

When I put him down, he pulls me outside and there was the deer. I look to Levi who nods so I quickly shift and dig in.

“Holy shit!” I hear little man talking with a much bigger voice but I keep eating. “He’s really the beast Levi.”

“Thought I was joking?”

“Yeah!” He says grabbing his hair. “Dad’s gonna lose his shit, fuck Damon is going to lose his shit. Shit’s just going to be flying everywhere and I’ll be sitting in the back like - Shit.”


“He’s massive Levi. You’re actually mated to a bear, just letting you know.” Little man says as I crush the bones between my teeth. “A grizzle bear mixed with a polar bear type of bear. Probably got some shark mixed in down the line o-”

“That’s enough you weirdo.” Levi says shoving the little man. “Thank you for doing this, you’re obviously his favorite now.”

“Then my work here is done, can’t wait to shove this into Josey’s face.” He says and I look up just in time to see him staring at me. “Bye big guy! I’d give you a hug but you’re all bloody and ‘arhh’.”

He hugs mate one last time and leaves. When I finish eating I shift back and go to Levi who’s waiting for me. He takes me upstairs and helps me clean up before forcing me into clothes again.

He crawls onto his soft sleeping grounds so I do the same. I preferred to ground but when I tried to sleep there last night Roger almost killed me. I’d never seen him so mad before so I decided to listen. He said he waited to long for a blanket and if I took it away from him he’d make me pay.

“Good night love.” Levi says pulling closer to me. I kiss his nose and let myself fall asleep again.

Good night Levi


They’re so domestic it’s adorable!!
Someone give me a fucking J, because I fucking can’t.

Did you like? Comment thoughts if you did.

Until next time,
Byeeeeeee humansssssss

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