I look down at Julian’s sleeping form with a smile lingering on my lips as I run my fingers through his lengthy, blonde hair. He was smiling away as he snuggled into me, his head tucked into the crook of my neck letting his warm breath fan me ever so gently.
“A-Aiden..” Julian calls making my head snap up to find him standing outside the bathroom in not only my shirt but my underwear too. I gulp to myself as I watch his blushing form while he played with his fingers nervously, diverting his eyes from my own.
“Yeah.” I say straining to keep myself under control. We hadn’t done anything remotely intimate in almost a month and even though that wasn’t really on my mind, it was definitely my body’s first thought seeing my mate like this.
“Can we sleep together tonight?” He asks the fear in his voice, clear as day as he walks towards me slowly. “P-Please.”
“Okay.” I say with slight reluctance, he smiles widely making that feeling fade as he crawls under the covers with eyes filled with joy. I switch off the television as well as the lights before slipping under the sheets where he immediately attaches his body to my own. I allow myself the pleasure of having him in my arms, wrapping my arm around him and drawing him in closer.
------end of flashback----
Julian steadily starts to steer away letting out a cute mewl as he wiggles around a bit before closing the space between us and letting out a content sigh. His eyes slowly flutter open as a smile takes his lips, he tightens his grip on me before inhaling deeply, slowly his eyes making there way up to me only to freeze when they catch my own. His heart stops as his beautiful, blue orbs widen with an increasing state of panic as his cheeks floods with that gorgeous red tint.
“Good morning.” I say with a smirk, snapping him out of his temporary paralysis.
“Morning.” He says quietly sinking his head into my neck to hide himself. I hold back my laughter not wanting him to be too embarrassed as his heart beats as loud as drums.
“I’m going to be working outside today, there’s some old books and the television to keep you occupied.” I say calmly, he immediately sits up, the embarrassment long gone as he looks down at me with confused eyes.
“I can help with what you’re doing.” He says enthusiastically while I push the stray hair out of his face.
“You’re not one hundred percent yet.” I say trailing his thin arm with the back of my hand. He looked more alive since he came here but he was still a long way off from what he used to be. I caught a glance of him yesterday when he was in the bathroom and I’m pretty sure I saw his ribs pressing against his chest. Even when I held him it felt different, like I was sleeping with something fragile and delicate.
“I’m fine.” He argues making me roll my eyes.
“No.” I say simply, he slides on my body so that he was sitting in my lap with his hands on my chest for support. If only he knew what this was doing to me.
“I won’t work, I’ll watch.” He pleads catching the disapproval in my eyes. “I just want to spend time with you.” He whispers quietly, the one sentence breaks my resolve as I’m reminded him feeling lonely was what started this whole mess in the first place.
“Okay.” I say ignoring the excited glint in his eyes. “Only watching.” He nods happily before leaning down and hugging me, I hug him back feeling complete with the palatable shockwaves than ran through our bodies from the connection. He raises up slowly with his head hovering over my own, my eyes stay trained to his restless waters which were slowly becoming clouded with lust.
My eyes find their way down to his lips as he bites his bottom lip slowly before letting it jut out again, I feel my member pulse alive at the action alone as Max pushes for control. He slides his tongue over his lips as he grinds himself into me at a painfully slow paste, his erection pressing into my own as he studies me. I look back into his eyes as he lowers himself slowly until he’s so close that his breath fans my lips teasingly, I soft groan escapes my lips when his fingers slides over my mark. He seems to awaken from his trance as he sits up quickly only to press his ass into my member making me groan again as he looks at me in a panic, before I can say anything he literally jumps off of me and runs into the bathroom. I watch the old, wooden door panting slightly, a little annoyed at whatever stunt he just pulled. He seemed....scared, to kiss me. I mean we haven’t in a long time and I knew we were still dancing carefully on thin ice, but I didn’t mind a kiss, in fact I was hungry for one and so much more.
Deciding to ignore it, I force myself out of the bed and start on breakfast. Julian usually cooked but I knew how to make a good sandwich and that’s all I could really do out here with such limited supplies. My mind wanders to the pack and how vulnerable it is without us there, we’d been selfish lately, putting personal problems over our people was wrong and I knew it.
How’s the pack? - I call out the my mother who answers instantly.
Fine, we’re all fine. How are you? Julian disappeared recently so I’m guessing he found you - She says her voice showing her uneasiness.
He did. He’s actually helping me through this - I reply truthfully. I felt a weight leave me when I decided to forgive him, like an awakening to dormant my emotions that had been pushed away and replaced with rage.
That’s good if he’s helping. Do you know when you’re coming back?
Soon - I promise knowing I was already fine to go home in the state I was, I’d work through the rest of what lingered inside of me and be as good as new. I only stayed because I didn’t want to go home with the way Julian and I’s relationship was right now, I wanted to go back better than we were and I knew that couldn’t be done without me telling him what happened to me. I have to go.
Okay, I love you sweetheart - She says sweetly.
Bye ma - I cut the link before I could hear the sigh she made every time she said those words and I didn’t respond the way she wanted me too. A piece of me still blamed my parents for what happened to me, it was in no way their fault but there was a small resentment I felt towards them to this day.
“Sandwiches, again...” Julian says as he walks toward me snapping me out of my daze. “....yay.” He says sarcastically as he takes his plate.
“There’s better food back home, maybe you should go back.” I tease, he however takes it too seriously and stuffs his face quickly with the thick breaded sandwich. I sigh as I walk over to him and press a light kiss to his forehead. “I was kidding.” I say softly, he relaxes slightly and simply nods in response. I let him continue eating as I head into the bathroom, getting ready quickly and soon enough we’re out in the fields.
Julian stays seated in the tall grass under a large tree with his knees tucked into his chest as he looks at me intently while I saw down the pieces of wood to the sizes I’d need. Time passes like that for a few hours before I decide to take a break and head over to him, he doesn’t really notice as I catch him looking out at the woods with a troubled expression that makes my heart tighten.
“What’s wrong?” I question causing him to jump before a weak smile takes his lips.
“Nothing.” He says unconvincingly making me frown at him.
I still can’t feel Alex - Max whines into my head. He’d been saying that since we found Julian and I assumed it was nothing to worry about but days had passed and he was growing scared as well as restless.
“Max wants to talk to Alex.” I say making his entire body tense immediately as he emits waves of depression.
“What’s wrong?” I ask carefully squatting down to his level, forcing him to look straight at me. He opens his mouth before closing it tightly as his lip quivers a little, his eyes flooded with clear agony.
“He can’t.” He says finally, his voice a faint, broken whisper.
“Why not?” I ask prying a little deeper.
“He’s gone.” He says in a soft cry. My heart stops as Max begins to howl in pain and distress. I’ve heard of people’s wolves leaving them for various reasons but it never ended well, it was painful to live on without them and was supposedly almost as bad as losing a mate. “I can feel him still, b-but only a little.”
“When did this happen?” I ask with a breaking heart from watching my shattered mate.
“A little after you left.” He says making Max and I become coated with guilt and growing grief. “He couldn’t take it, being away from you and Max. It was slowly eating away at him and one day he stopped talking.”
“I’m so sorry.” I say filled with regret as I pull him into my arms where he climbs onto my lap, gripping my shirt tightly. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“It’s f-fine now.” He says shakily making my heart shatter as I realise how much damage I’ve caused to my beautiful mate.
“It’s not.” I say hugging him tightly. “I won’t ever leave you again. I’m so sorry.”
He hums I’m understanding as he draws comfort from my hold as I do him. I could tell he was holding back his tears, that’s all he’s been doing lately and it was all my fault.
I broke my mate.
I think Aiden’s being a tad bit dramatic. He didn’t break him really.....did he?
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Until next time,