I open my eyes before shutting them quickly at the blinding light the invades my eyes. I rub them desperately anxious to find out where I was, I’d been falling in a never ending pit of darkness for what felt like forever. I open them slowly as my eyes steadily adjust, I look around to see dirty, concrete walls that I didn’t recognize. Standing up immediately, I look up to the large ceiling telling me I was in some sort of warehouse. I get ready to run when my eyes land on Max making my heart along with my body freeze. I stare at him with wide eyes as he looks at me with nothing but joy. He takes a step forward but I immediately take one back making sadness inject itself into his dark orbs.
“Alex.” He starts but I shake my head trying to make him stop. “Please just listen to me.”
“No. No. No.” I say desperately, blocking my ears to trying and deafen myself from hearing his voice that only sounded venomous against my ears.
“Alex.” He pleads taking a step forward but I take two back. “Sweetheart ju-”
“Don’t!” I shout forcing down the tears that tried to fill my eyes. “Don’t you dare!”
He watches me with watery eyes that showed nothing but pain that he didn’t have the right to feel. He didn’t get to feel what he forced me to feel without him. The feeling of someone pulling my heart out and leaving me in the darkness to pick up the pieces of myself.
“You left me!” I shout making his tears spill out his eyes along with my own.
“Please Alex.” He pleads walking closer.
“You promised!” I shout as my heart breaks at the memory. I felt the misery grow tenfold as I look at the man who caused it.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He says inching forward a little more. I was paralyzed by the torment that drowned me because he let the gates open.
“You said you’d never leave me!” I cry failing to my knees unable to bare the desolation I felt. He falls in front me, pulling me into his chest as my skin heats up from the connection I hadn’t felt in so long. I try pushing him away but I was no match in my weakened state so I just deliver the weak punches my body could give. “You promised....” I cry sobbing into his chest.
“I’m so sorry.” He says holding me tightly. “I’m so sorry.”
“You left me...” I cry quieter as my heart fills with the familiar darkness that took over me completely.
“I didn’t want to. It was Aiden and we needed to go, he needed to go.” He pleads but I shake my head as I try to push myself away from him.
“I tried reaching out to you but you wouldn’t respond.” I say ignoring his foolish excuses. “You blocked me out.”
“I didn’t mean to.” He tries but it just snaps something in my mind that gave me the strength to push him away as I stand to my feet towering above him as I distance us.
“Yes you did!” I shout with climaxing anger. “You were mad like Aiden and you pushed me out! You left me alone! You said you wouldn’t, b-but you did!”
“Alex...” He pleads with tears streaming down his face as I push away mine. I didn’t want to give him my tears like I gave him everything else that he just ended up crushing. “Please baby.” He says rushing forward, he grabs my face in his hands as he looks down at my sobbing form with his own tear stricken face.
“You promised!” I cry hating myself for trusting him, loving him and still loving him. I hated myself for accepting him as my mate, I hated the Moon Goddess for making him my mate, I hated Julian for not rejecting Aiden. I just hated everyone and everything so much that the darkness inside of me only grew more.
“I know, I know and I’m so sorry.” He cries holding my face as I shake it not wanting to hear him. “I’m so sorry Alexander, I’m so so sorry. I knew what I was doing, but I did it anyway and I am so sorry. Baby, I love you. I love you so much. I’m sorry that I hurt you like this, I’m so sorry that I did this to you. Please, please forgive me. Please. Come back, I’m dying without felling your warmth like I used to. You can’t leave me, I’m sorry. I love you, p-please.” He says pressing his head against mine as he cries against me. “Please don’t go again. I know I left and I hate myself for it. S-stay.”
“I just feel pain.” I say clenching my chest as I look up at him. “It h-hurts.”
“I know. I’m so sorry I did this to you.” He says rubbing my cheek as I unconsciously lean into his palm. “Let me fix this.”
“Let me love you.” He cries holding me still as we look into each other’s eyes. “Let me love you.” He repeats his eyes showing honesty.
“Last time you promised me you’d never leave me you looked at me the same way, with so much honesty and love.” I say holding his hands with my own. “And then you left me....” I say pushing his hands away as I step away from his grasp.
“I’ll stay for Julian. I’ll live with this pain everyday for him.” I say wiping away my tears. “Not for you.”
“Baby please!” He cries out.
I’m fucking crying! I’m like full on wailing! FUCKKKKKKK!!!
Why is the world so fucking cruel!!!!