~1 year ago ~ (April 25, 2020)
“Momma, you need to stop drinking.” I cried while trying to move her from the floor to the couch.
She was completely passed out again, this is slowly starting to become was an every night thing. she would come home from her job at the diner, leave all her shit on the floor and drink a whole bottle of jack like it was water.
She’s been like this ever since my brother died 4 months ago. I understand how she’s feeling, I miss Aaron just as much as she does but she’s getting worse. Sometimes she would drink so much that she would miss work for days and not even realize it. I’m surprised that her boss hasn’t fired her yet for missing 3 days of work in a row.
I lifted her arms and dragged the upper half of her body onto the couch. As I held her in place with one hand, I use my other to help push her legs up onto the couch. She might look like she weighed 50 pounds but she damn sure didn’t feel like it. Once I had her secured on the couch, I turned her to the side, just in case she decided to throw up, wouldn’t want her to choke and die.
I sat down on the floor and let out a huge exhale. I swiped my hand across my forehead wiping the sweat away then bowed my head, letting the tears fall from my eyes.
Everything wasn’t perfect but it was bearable. I had my big brother that loved me with everything in his heart and my mom. Even though sometimes she treated me like shit and can be really evil when she wanted to be, she honestly wasn’t that bad. I never knew my father, all I know is that he died before I was born and my mom was completely heartbroken about it, at least that’s what Aaron said. I don’t remember her ever being sad or talking about his death to me so it’s hard to believe.
So for as long as I can remember Aaron was the only father figure in my life, and to be honest he was the only parent figure in my life. He did more for me than my mom ever did and now that’s he’s been gone, life has just been getting worse.
*flashback* (4 months before)
"Aaron baby help me set the table.” I hear my mother call out from the kitchen.
"Sure.” Aaron said, getting up from the couch. I watch as he makes his way out of the living room and towards the kitchen.
“I’ll come help too.” Niyah said, then followed behind Aaron.
We were having a family dinner and my mother was cooking all Aaron’s favorite foods because he was finally back home.
He was away at his dream college with his high school sweetheart Niyah. He’s been gone for about 5 months now and even though we FaceTimed each other every day, it still felt like I haven’t seen him in ages.
His girlfriend Niyah was kind of like a sister to me and my mom loved everything about her, so she was basically like family at this point. They’ve been dating since freshman year of high school and now they’re both juniors in college.
She’s gorgeous, and I was absolutely envious of her model-like features. She had high cheekbones and big pouty lips. Her skin was a smooth caramel color and her eyes were bright and innocent-looking, almost like she was stuck in a permanent golden hour selfie. It’s not like I was ugly or anything but she beyond gorgeous, and it makes me feel like a gremlin.
I turned back to my laptop and continued typing out the last two pages of this essay so that I can submit it and be done with the semester.
This was the end of my second semester of college and I couldn’t wait for it to be over. The classes I was taking this term were hard as hell but I passed with two B and a C, so I’m not complainingI was so in wrap up in my essay I didn’t realize that Aaron was calling me.
“Rainy!” He shouted, calling me by the nickname gave me when I was little.
“Come on, it’s time to eat.”
“Ok.” I whispered, then saved my work and shut my laptop.
When I got in the kitchen I noticed that my mom was sitting at the head of the table adjacent to Aaron and Niyah was sitting on the left of him, leaving me to sit by myself on the other side of the table.
I sighed and sat down, getting ready to steal a biscuit for the breadbasket when my mom slapped my hand.
“Don’t touch anything until we say grace.” She said.
I pulled my hand back and placed it on my lap, I looked over and saw that Aaron had a biscuit in his place and he was giving me an apologetic look. I ignored it and looked down, waiting patiently until our mother started saying grace.
After we said grace, we dug in and filled our plates with the various amount of food that was spread across the table. Mom really went all out for Aaron, cooking enough food to feed an army. The sad thing about it is I know our mother would never do something this grand for me because Aaron is her favorite and even though she never says it, her actions speak louder than words.
During the time we were eating mom asked Aaron and Niyah a bunch of questions about school and their relationship, not even giving me a chance to say anything. But it’s okay because Aaron will be here for almost 2 weeks so I’ll have some time with him.
After dinner was over everyone went into their room and got ready for bed. Thankfully I took a shower before dinner so I was able to jump right into bed and go to sleep.
*****middle of the night*****
I woke up out of my sleep for what reason I don’t know. I looked over at the clock to see it read 2:13 am. I don’t usually wake up in the middle of the night so something had to have woken me up. I was too lazy to find out so I turned over and curled up under the sheets.
I jumped up when a heard a loud bang. “What the hell? Omg someone could be breaking in!” I thought.
We live in a semi-bad neighborhood and recently there have been a lot of break-ins, but we haven’t had anything happen to us.....yet.
I quickly got out of my bed quietly rushed over to the door. I slowly opened the door and peeked out, looking up and down the hallway seeing if there was anyone out there before I walked out of my room. I quickly tip-toed to Aaron’s room and turned the knob, thankfully it was unlocked so I walked straight in and closed the door quietly behind me.
“Aaron.” I whispered loudly.
He immediately woke up and looked over at me. “What the hell rainy get out.” He whispered, trying not to wake Niyah
" no Aaron, listen to me. I think someone is in the house.” I whispered.
He stared at me for a second frowning before he got out of his bed and walked over to me.
“Someone’s in the house?” He whispered.
At that moment we both heard another bang. Aaron pushed me behind him and opened his room door. I lightly grabbed onto the back of his shirt and followed him out of the room.
He stop short and turned to me. “Stay up here with mom and Niyah.”
“But what if something happens,” I asked.
“Nothing is going to happen, relax.” He said then walked downstairs.
I crept halfway down the stair so that I could see what was happening. I felt a shiver run up my back like something bad was going to happen but I stayed still and waited to see what was going to happen.
“What’s going on?” I hear Niyah ask from behind me.
She frowned at me and looked down the stair when we heard Aaron yell.
“Get the fuck out!” I hear Aaron yell. There were a couple of bangs here and there like they were fighting.
I was about to go open my mouth to tell her what's happening and suggest we go help him when I hear 3 loud bangs, they sounded like gunshots.
I quickly ran down the stair and went to the kitchen area to see Aaron lying on the floor in a pool of blood and three bloody holes through his chest.
“AARON!!!” I screamed, running over to his body and pulling him up so that his head was resting on my lap. I looked around the room but I didn’t see anyone else. I noticed that the back door was wide open so whoever shot Aaron got away. Niyah came running in behind, face drained of color. She dropped to her knees and let out a loud blood-curdling scream.
“Aaron wake up please please please wake up.” I cried shaking his shoulder. He wasn’t moving, his arms were limp. I leaned down to feel if he was breathing but I wasn’t feeling anything.
“what the f- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY BABY!!” I hear my mother scream. I can hear her running towards us. She pushed me out of the way and grabbed ahold of Aaron wailing.
“WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BABY OHHH MY GODDD WHAT HAPPENED!” She was rocking him back and forth as if she was rocking him to sleep.
I walked over to her and leaned down trying to comfort her but she just pushed me away.
“WHAT DID YOU DO?!?? WHAT HAPPENED?!!?!” She screamed.
“I didn’t do anything!” I said tears falling from my eyes. I step back and watched as she groped and pulled at his body in disbelief. My heartfelt like Someone was stepping on it, I was in shock and didn’t know how to handle this situation. I can feel myself drifting away as if I was having an out-of-body experience.
I roughly swiped at the tears rolling down my face and picked up the house phone and dialed 911.
I slowly stood up and grabbed the bottle of jack on the floor and walked into the kitchen. I jumped it out and threw the bottle in the trash, pushing it all the way to the bottom so she wouldn’t notice it.
I leaned against the counter, staring at the pile of bills sitting on the dining table. I sighed and I blinked back the tears that were threatened to fall from my eyes. This shit was beginning to be to much and I didn’t know how to handle it anymore.
If she keeps acting like this and spending all her money on bottles, we’ll be homeless. I already had to pick up a job to help keep my mind off of everything that happened, but now I’m gonna have to start paying the bills, and this job doesn’t pay enough, I would have to find something better or get another job. I shouldn’t have to be worrying about this Shit, the only reason I was still living with her at the age of twenty is that I didn’t want to bust my ass working and trying to finish school at the same time but I guess that’s what I’m gonna have to do.
I let out a deep sigh and laid down on my bed then picked up my phone. I started scrolling through Instagram when I notice a video one of the guys I use to go to high school with posted on their story. They were at a strip club and the girl was shaking her ass in front of them while they threw hella cash on her. She turned around and grabbed her breast while swaying to the beat of the song. The video ended and I sat there thinking about the amount of money they were throwing at her.
Maybe I could be a stripper....
No no no! What the hell am I thinking. I would never get on a stage and take my clothes off for a bunch of nasty old men
But you look at all the money that was surrounding her.......my subconscious spoke up.
I quickly sat up and walk over to my mirror, staring at myself. I had a nice body and a slight babyface. My hips were wide, I had a slim waist, my ass was fat and My breast was ginormous.
“Nah sis.” I said to myself. What the fuck am I thinking? I can’t do that shit.....But if I did I could make good money every night rather than getting paid every 2 weeks....this job could help pay the bills.
“Fuck!!” I shouted. Maybe I should sleep on it, give it some more thought before I make a final decision.
I walked back over to my bed and laid down, pulling the covers up to my chin. I need to come up with a plan fast before we end up on the streets.
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