Beta Mates

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Chapter 43

Beckett’s P.O.V

Emitt stares up at me expectantly. His big eyes dancing between my eyes that remained on his and my lips.
I was so close I could feel the hairs on his arms stand as he held his breath in anticipation. I studied every inch of his perfect body that I longed for before creating a space between us.

“In due time.” I whisper watching his reaction, he let out the heavy breath before his eyebrows cross a bit as annoyance flashed though his eyes.

He still felt it....

“I want to take you out tomorrow.” I say making his eyes widen at the gesture.

“W-what?” He stutters.

“Just to eat.” I reply with a weak smile. “To catch up.”

“Catch up?” He questions with a bit of hesitation.

“We haven’t had a chance to talk properly.” I say as I take a closer step towards him, his ears reddening instantly. “Just the two of us.”

“I guess.....” He says rubbing the back of his neck shyly. “Where are we going?”

“That’s a surprise.” I whisper before tucking his stray hair behind his ear. My hand lingers there momentarily as I cup his cheek briefly, soaking in the warmth that rushed into my body at the contact.

“Okay.” He says after gulping. He didn’t make any move to push my hand away or show any signs of disliking it, he just stared at me, waiting for my next move.

“For now, lets get back to the movie.” I say withdrawing my hand, he seems a bit disappointed by this but masks it quickly with a smile.

Just you wait....

--------------

“You have to behave Amelia.” Emitt says sternly as he looks down at the innocent angel who was mischievous in her own right.

“I will.” She says quickly as she smiles widely.

“You can’t keep tripping Damon.” He continues making me chuckle, Emitt looks at me disapprovingly along with Julian while Amelia giggles to herself.

“But he’s evil.” She groans making Damon gasp from afar as he stops playing with his hair to join the conversation.

“You’re the devil!” He shouts making Amelia snarl as she runs at him but Julian swoops her up before she could claw at his son who was barking up his leg to get to her.

“They’ll be fine.” He says calmly as if they weren’t trying to kill each other. “Have fun.”

“We will.” I say pushing Emitt towards the door, it was always so hard for him to leave her.

Amelia sends me a wink over Julian’s shoulder as she whispers two kings before giving me a thumbs up. I smile at the gesture, sending an appreciative nod her way before leaving.
Emitt looked nervous the whole way down to the car, he kept rubbing his knuckles and chomping away at his nails.

“She’s fine.” I say reassuringly as we approach his car making his eyes dart up to me.

“Yeah, I know. Can’t help but worry though.” He says with a nervous chuckle. “But I guess I’ll just have to relax.” I nod approvingly as he tosses me the keys before we get in.

“So where are we going?” He tries again as I pull out of the parking lot. “Come on tell me.” He whines when I don’t reply. “Please.” He stretches before resting his hand on my thigh.

My heart takes off at the action, electricity shocking each and every nerve ending in my body as I suddenly went numb with pleasure. My muscles tighten as I grip the steering wheel to keep control over the hundred and one emotions that flooded my body all at once.

“Sorry.” He mumbles before withdrawing his hand into himself, the loss of the warmth hitting me hard.

“It’s fine.” I manage to choke out as I glance across at him. He was as red as a cherry lollipop.....

....and I love the taste of cherry.

-----------------

“A restaurant?” Emitt asks in surprise as we step out the car.

“A fancy restaurant.” I correct making him giggle. We walk in and are immediately escorted to my reserved table in the corner booth of the lovely french restaurant, a violinist placing soothingly on a slightly elevated platform with sparkling lights raining down on everyone.

Emitt was uncomfortable.
Rubbing his elbows nervously as he shook his leg violently under the table, nibbling on his lips as his eyes darted around.

“We can leave if you want.” I say making him freeze as his eyes catch mine.

“What? Why?!” He asks quickly.

“You seem uncomfortable.” I say truthfully with a sigh as doubt fills my mind. I knew I was taking it too far with the restaurant, I should’ve taken him to a festival or something. “I should’ve taken you to a carnival. You always liked those places more right?”

“No. No. This is fine.” He says quickly. “This is more than fine, it’s perfect. I liked carnivals and zoos before yes, but that was when I was a teenager. I think sometimes you forget that we’re close to our mid twenties.”

“I suppose.” I reply suddenly feeling stupid for reacting the way I had.

“Seriously, this is beautiful.” He says with a smile that brought out my sweet tooth.

“You just looked uncomfortable.” I say making his eyes widen. “Like something was on your mind.”

“I was thinking about you.” He says making my eyes widen in surprise, he seems to pick up on his words and jumps in his seat making the table shake as things fall down and roll around. We struggle to keep things from breaking as we put things back into place quickly, ignoring the eyes on us from the commotion we were causing, the whole time Emitt’s face was red with embarrassment as he let out small whimpers.

“Is everything alright here?” The waitress asks with a smile that was anything but friendly.

“Yes, thank you.” I say before ordering our drinks so she could go. I redirect my attention to Emitt who was trying to hide behind his hair and failing miserably.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” He whispers into himself, his eyes trained on his hands. “I just thought that t-the food with you, wouldn’t work.” He says making me frown. “Cause you don’t eat.....cooked food anymore..”

“Oh.” I say with realization. “I’ve been trying to.” I reveal making head head snap up to mine.

“Really?”

“I hate the fact that Amelia says she’s not hungry when I’m around because she has to eat alone. I’ve been taking it slow, little pieces of bread and rare cooked meat. It’s hard to transition after so long.” I say with a nervous chuckle as I rub the back of my head. “But I’m doing it, I hope to eat a meal with my little girl one day.”

“I had no idea...” He says when I finish. “That’s amazing Beckett.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re amazing.” He finishes making me smile as he sends me a hesitant one back.

“So are you.” I say looking him straight in his eyes so he knew I was serious.

“Oh I know.” He says cheekily making me laugh. “Now let’s eat!”

I smile to myself as I watch him scan the menu hungrily, his teeth finding his bottom lip too many times for me not to react as his eyes sparkled happily.
I missed that sparkle.
That glimmer of joy that he once wore all the time but now kept locked up. I missed that happiness.

My thoughts stay on him as we order our food, me picking only a light starter. I stared at him as the waitress took our menus away, my eyes sweeping over all his features as I took him in.

His brown hair that scraped his neck, sweet green eyes that calmed me, sharp jaws I wanted to bombard with kisses and lips I wanted to capture as mine.
He looks up feeling my stare, shocked at first before becoming extremely self conscious.

“W-what?” He stutters as he begins rubbing his shoulder again.

I just shake my head making him pout as I leaned on the table, resting my chin in my hands as my eyes continued to trail his perfect state.

“What?!” He asks again as he shifts in his seat.

“You look beautiful.” I say letting the words slip out before I could stop them.

“I-I-I..” He stutters over himself at the compliment that took him by surprise.
I don’t comment as he twists and turns in his seat before finally looking at me again. “Thanks...”

“What else was bothering you?” I ask curiously. “It wasn’t only my eating habits, so what was it?”

“I was nervous.” He says after some time. “You said you wanted to catch up, and then you brought me here and you’re wearing pink and.....I love pink.”

“I know.” I say with a smirk, I chose this light pink, dress shirt just for him knowing he adored the color. Especially when it was on me

“A-And you just called me.......beautiful......” He stutters out.

“Because you are.” I say quickly making him bite the inside of his cheek.

“And it just feels like a .......” He starts before chewing at his cheek. “A....um.”

“What Emitt?” I question almost teasingly. “What does it feel like, or more importantly, what do you want to be.....”

“A-A...it feels like a......" His eyes darting around. “Bathroom.”

“What?”

“I need to use the bathroom.” He says before standing and running off before I could say anything.

Stop teasing - Tobias scolds even though he was smirking in delight.

I just need to push him a bit more - I say nodding to myself.

Tighten the leash too much and it’ll snap - He says in warning before disappearing.

Emitt walks back out before I could digest Tobias’ words making me bite my lip in annoyance.

“Hey.” I say as his tucks himself into his seat.

“Hey.” He says calmly. “Sorry about that.”

“No it’s my fault, sorry.” I say deciding to heed to Tobias’ advance and reign myself in. Though I wanted to have him in my arms again, forcing him into it wouldn’t be the way.

“So.” He stretches as his looks at me. “Catching up...”

“Catching up.” I repeat as I sip on my water. “Mickey still ignoring you?”

“Yes.” He replies with a sigh. “I don’t know what else to do, I’ve tried everything. Even the twins have tried talking to him but he ignores them if they start talking about me.”

“Have you really apologised though?” I question making him frown.

“Of course I have, I’ve said sorry like a hundred times.”

“Sorry isn’t enough Emitt.” I say gently. “Before Mickey met me and the twins, he had you. Only you. You left, yes with reasons and explanations, but you still left. You didn’t say anything, no clue or even a note. You just left.”

“But it wasn’t up to me! Joseph was the one who kept me locked up in that basement! I wanted to leave! I tried to leave! I tried so many times, but they would threaten Amelia and punish me. It wasn’t up to me!” He finishes before panting heavily, tears whelling in his eyes as his emotions pour out of him. His eyes lift from my shocked form and onto all the people that were staring at us, with the waitress standing with our meals in our hands.

“Emitt...” I call but he’s already up, he doesn’t bother to look back as he rushes out of the restaurant. I set down some cash before rushing after him.

He didn’t head to the car, he just kept walking down the pavement, no goal in mind but to get as far away from the restaurant as possible....or maybe, get as far away from me as possible.

“Emitt....Emitt!” I call before finally catching up to him, his quick steps taking him to far. I try to touch him but he flinches away as if I had burnt him.

“D-Don’t touch me..” He stutters as he takes in deep breaths, clenching his chest tightly as he struggled to breath.

“Emitt.” I say desperately as I try to touch him again but he pulls away again. “Let me help.”

“Please.” He says desperately as tears pour out of his eyes like a waterfall. “Stay away.....please.”

I oblige when I realise he just needed a second to calm himself, he begins walking forward after some time and I wait a bit before following.

His back remains faced to me as he continues to walk. Steadily his breathing slows down until it was calm again but he just continues to walk and I don’t dare stop him.

So that’s what we do, walk. Walk and walk and walk. So far that I didn’t know where we were as a few minutes passed on into an hour. As much as I wanted to turn him around and hug him, I knew I had to let him come to me. Give him the space he desperately wanted.

We both stop however when it begins to rain. Nothing but a light drizzle at first, but within a few minutes it begins pouring down so hard it stung my skin a bit.
I was looking around for some shelter when Emitt started laughing. I turn to face him to see his shoulders shaking as a diseased laughter crackles out of him.

“Emitt...” I call nervously as his laugh settles a bit before he turns to face me.
Tears pouring down his face as his eyes glimmered with more, though it was raining, the tainting tears were completely visible to me as he laughed again. The action forcing the ones that had gathered to pour out as well.

“It’s raining now.” He says with a shaky smile. “Isn’t that great...”

“Emitt.” I call taking a step forward but stop at the way he stiffens.

“I slept on a floor, colder than dry ice with nothing but dirt layering it. I slept on that floor for four years, the nights I was able to sleep. Not a single blanket, clothes so old I felt naked. With Amelia right here.” He says before resting his shaking hand on his stomach. “Because I didn’t want her to feel the cold I was. She barely made it through in the first place, she wouldn’t have lasted a night.”

I look at him with nothing but sadness as he stares me straight into my eyes. He groans loudly before gripping his hair tightly before he starts sobbing harshly. He screams and laughs and cries, he does everything at once, unable to contain himself or his emotions.

“I didn’t want to go...” He cries out. “I didn’t want to be there.”

“I know.” I say gently resisting the urge to touch him, he was so broken, fragile, the wrong move could send him running.

“No you don’t know.” He says with a weak smile. “You don’t know how they beat me, how they punished me for nothing at all, how they made me bleed, cry......how they hurt me. You don’t know.”

“Then tell me.” I say making him shut his eyes as he grips himself. “Talk to me.”

“Why? Why do people hurt the things they don’t understand.” He whispers under his breath. “Why did they hurt me? That’s all people ever do to me. They hurt me.” He says with glossed eyes as I take a step closer to him. “E-Everything hurts.......”

I can’t find the words to comfort him. To help him. I don’t know what to do or to say. He was crying before me, eyes that didn’t ask questions or seek answers, ones that reflected pain and suffering that scared me.

He lets out a heavy breath before looking around a bit. He heads to a closed shop and I follow, standing beneath the sheltering roof we remain quiet. A deadly silence that drowned out the sound of the unforgiving rain.

“What happened?” I question after some time. His eyes stay trained on the concrete street that was covering with unwanted water, his tears stopping but his cries still completely audible to me.

“He took me in. It was raining like this, I didn’t want to go home...to see you. I had nothing to go back to. I knew I had the others, b-but after what happened....I felt so alone and he took me in.” He starts slowly. “He was nice, at first. Human. He took care of me even though he didn’t even know my name, I didn’t talk much. He let me stay with his wife and child. They clothed me, fed me, sheltered me. They were so nice. He was a friend...”

“Until.” I question knowing it was coming.

“....until he found out I was a werewolf. A pregnant werewolf. That’s when I found out he was a hunter.” He says making me unconsciously stiffen in defense. “I didn’t have time to run, a dart was in my neck and I woke up in a basement. A basement that i didn’t know would become my home for the next few years.”

“H-How did you....have Amelia?” I ask hesitantly.

“I wasn’t the only person locked up there. There were witches and other wolves.” He reveals making me eyes widen. “He pumped the wolves with wolfsbane and the witches with something else. They helped me. Amelia wasn’t supposed to make it. With all the beatings a-and the wolfsbane.....she shouldn’t have.......but she did.”

“She’s strong.” I say making him smile a bit through his tears.

“She was stronger than me. She grew up in that place and still manages to smile today, despite the screams and the blood that surrounded us. She still smiles.” He says flinching bit. “She didn’t deserve that....”

“Neither did you.” I say making him chuckle.

“Tell that to Joseph.” He says making me bawl my fists up. “I was his favourite to hurt. He chose me every time, every day.... every single day..”

“Emitt.....” I say trying to go to him again but he just widens the distance between us to tell me not to.

“I only got out because of the kid, he found us one day when the door was unlocked and freed us all. Every single one of us.” He says rushing to wrap up his tale, skipping over the details of stories I don’t think I wanted to be told. “I ran. I took Amelia and I ran like hell. I didn’t know where I was. I didn’t care. I just ran.”

“And you came back home?” I finish making him nod. Sorry didn’t seem appropriate, no apology or words of comfort seemed comforting. I didn’t know what to say and not being able to touch him left me useless.

“I didn’t plan for any of that to happen. I didn’t want any of that to happen. Yet everyone still blames it on me.” He says with aggravation. “Like I wanted to leave Mickey, Aiden, Julian.....”

“And me?” I ask as he looks up at me.

“In the beginning, I wanted to be as far from you as I could get.” He says making my chest tighten. “You denied me Beckett, I had to get away.”

“I know.” I say guiltily.

“But in there.........I regretted everything. I hated that you didn’t hear my calls anymore, that you couldn’t feel me to come for me, that just thinking about you hurt......I missed you.” He says as I turn to face him head on, his big orbs looking at me with hesitance. “I missed the way you’d hold me at night, t-the promises of love you made me........the way you made me feel safe. I missed it all.....I wished I never broke the bond.”

“And now?” I question with a body of nerves as I take a step to him as he takes one back, I take another forward and he does. We keep going until we’re in the rain again as he stared up at me.

“I miss you....” He reveals with a sigh before he turns around and walks away a bit while I struggle to get a lid over the emotions that sparked in me at his revelation. “God what a fool I am!” He shouts making my eyes snap to him. “After all this......after everything......I-I....”

“What Emitt?” I say forgetting the need for space as I take quick steps towards him that make his eyes widen.

“I-I...” He stutters as I grab his face in my hands, holding him in place as my eyes pierce through his. He looks up at me with frantic eyes that showed his internal fight as I kept him in place.

“Say it.” I beg as I keep use my thumb to wipe away his tears. “Say it please, just say it.”

“.....I still love you.” He sobs out making my shattered heart pull itself together as I slam my lips into his.

Love.

That’s what I felt when our lips touched. Not sparks. Not electricity. Not fire.

I felt love.

Love that flooded my body.
Love that mended the deepest part of me.
Love that replaced the darkness.

Love.

Love that told me I’d be okay.

Our lips move slowly, hesistantly, as if we were trying something new. Both of us seemingly unfamiliar with the simple act of affection we once did effortlessly, my lips fit perfectly against his as tears of my own slip down to the corner of my lips.

He pulls away first, from the kiss but not from my hold as he stared up at me with tears like my own.

“I love you Emitt.” I say making him cry harder as he pulls away, taking a few steps back.

“Please don’t..”

“I love you.” I repeat firmly, following after him as he shakes his head dismissively. “I love you Emitt Smith.”

“S-stop..”

“I’ve never stopped loving you.” I say desperately as I take another step towards him as he stays planted in his space. “Not a day has passed since I haven’t thought about you.”

“No.”

“I looked for you.” I say shakily. “I looked. Every single day. I looked for you. I n-never once gave up hope. I looked for you because I love you.”

“Don’t do this.” He cries as I pull him into my hold so he can’t run. “Don’t s-say this, d-do this....if you don’t mean it. Please.”

“I mean it. I mean every word of it.” I say in exhaustion. I was tired. Tired of living without him, I wouldn’t make it much longer without him. “I love you. I love you so much Emitt. I made a mistake. A big mistake I know. I should’ve have ever denied you, the day you left......Emitt. I made a mistake. A mistake I’ll regret for the rest of my life because it took you away from me, it did all this to you.” I say rubbing the scar on his neck. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, sorry that I wasn’t there when you needed me, that I didn’t love you better, that I didn’t accept myself or what we had. I’m sorry but I love you.”

“Beckett...” He cries desperately as he hugs me tightly. I hold him in my chest as he tightens his arms around my neck. “I’m tired. I’m so tired.”

“I know.” I say tightening my grip around his waist. “I know baby, I’m tired too.”

“It hurts.” He cries.

“I know.” I say rubbing his back as I nuzzle my head into his neck.

“Everything hurts.”

“I know.”

“Promise me.” He begs as he pulls back to look at me, his eyes red at this point. “Promise me, we-we’ll never d-.”

“Never again.” I promise as I hold him tightly. “Never. Again........I love you.”

He cries.
He only cries in response. He cries as he presses his lips against mine and kisses me again.

He cries.

He cries as I walk us back to the car and drive us home. He cries.

He cries as I took him into a warm bed,
He cries himself to sleep before whispering a hoarse.

I love you too

-----------------------------------

CRIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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