I slip out of Beckett’s bed as quietly as possible, the last thing I needed was for him to wake up. He doesn’t move at all thankfully allowing me to prance around the room as I gather my belongings before leaving his room as quietly as I possibly can. I run down the stairs on my toes, feeling a wave of relief rush over me when I catch a glimpse of the front door.
“So, what’s your name?”
I jump ten feet in the air, letting out a blood curling scream as my eyes dart to the source of the voice. I get into a defensive position once my eyes land on an older looking guy who had a bushy beard that took most of his face accompanied why shaggy dark locks that oddly suited him.
“Who are you?” I question as the man eats his pancakes completely undisturbed by my presence. He chews slowly, moaning happily at the flavor as his eyes close.
“Well it’s my house, so I should probably ask you that question.” He says after swallowing his food. “And why you were sleeping in the same bed as my nephew....”
“Emitt!” I jump a little as the sound of thunderous footsteps move down the stairs. Beckett rushes out in all his morning glory with panicked eyes that only grow wider when they spot the other guy. “Uncle Jack?”
“What’s up?” The man says with a wide smile. “I was just talking to your friend here, Emitt was it?” I nod cautiously, not letting my eyes meet Beckett’s as I keep them to the ground. “Would you like to sit down for breakfast?”
“We’re just going to go back upstairs for a minute.” Beckett says before I could answer, my heads shoots up in surprise, still avoiding his eyes I panic a little.
“No, I’m going home.” I say firmly, my eyes accidentally finding his. They seemed troubled and a little hurt but no matter how much it pained me, I couldn’t stay. “Thanks for the invitation though, it was nice to meet you sir.” I say transferring my eyes to his uncle’s.
“That’s disgusting, sir? Do I look that old? Call me Jack, please, and it was nice to meet you too.” He says with a kind smile before stuffing his face with more food.
With that, I turn swiftly on my heels and hauling ass to the front door not even glancing Beckett’s way, I couldn’t.
I was confused. No, I was beyond confused after the events of last night. One minute we were talking and the next I was tucked under his chest and playing with his fingers. I tried not to be so touchy but I couldn’t help it, I didn’t even know how, but I’d just end up attached to him. I thought he’d kick me out, but he never did, no matter how close we got, he let me stay. I thought it was all me, until we got in his bed and he pulled me into him. Then he kissed my neck, fanning me with his breath as he closed any space between us. I was as hard as a pole in moments, then he just pulled away. I thought I was deluded, that he didn’t kiss my neck, that he was just trying to cuddle. But then why the hell was he trying to cuddle.
It left me with two theories. Either Beckett was playing a cruel game with my emotions, toying with me and never wanted to be my friend, that it was all a setup somehow. But he’d never do that, he was way too kind to do something so heartless. The other option, Beckett Stone maybe, just maybe, liked me as more than a friend. I didn’t believe that either, I knew my emotions were getting the better of me. There was no way he’d ever be attracted to another guy, let alone me.
So then what was he really doing?
I’m snapped out of thoughts as Beckett grabs my arm, turning me to face him. We were outside now, much further from his house, just the two of us in these vast woods.
“I have to go.” I mumble, avoiding his eyes as I try to leave but he keeps his grip tight on my arm as he pulls me in a little closer to him.
“Why? What’s wrong?” He asks as I keep my head down. “Emitt...”
“Let me go please.” I say trying desperately for my emotions to not show through my voice.
“Emitt, talk to me.” He begs pushing my chin up so that I was looking at him. He troubled green eyes fill with worry as our eyes link, the connection like a breath of fresh air. “What’s wrong?” He asks sliding his hand to my cheek, I feel myself nuzzling into it before I stop myself and break from his hold, creating an uncomfortable space between us.
“You can’t do that.” I groan, I didn’t know if I should be angry at myself for letting my feeling get the better of me or him for unconsciously encouraging them. “You’re confusing me.”
“I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t know what to think anymore, because I can’t even think straight(A.N - pun intended)." I say in frustration as I run my hands through my hair as he looks at me guilty. “I-I don’t....we.....I need to go.”
“No Emitt please, just come back with me. We can talk about all this.” He begs taking a step forward but I just take one back instead. If we talked he’d find out that I liked him and then everything would be destroyed, Aiden would find out and they’ll be disgusted with me. Kick me out of the pack even.“Emitt...”
“Bye Beckett.” I say before shifting quickly and taking off into the woods. I left Chris to take over knowing that if he didn’t, I’d probably turn around and run right back to him.
It was all just too much.
I was always satisfied with admiring Beckett from afar, seeing him happy everyday was enough for me. I was content with being friends, being close to the beautiful angel was amazing in itself. But him and I, the way we were last night, I couldn’t take it. No matter how much I loved the feeling of his skin against mine or his lips kissing my skin, it was torturous because I had no idea what he meant by it. I did know that I had no chance with him, I couldn’t let myself fall further for him.
It hurts too much already.
“Are you a dumbass?!” Mickey screams at me as I drive us to school. “You left! On your own free will!”
“He would’ve found out, somehow. That I’m gay.” I say with a sad shrug.
“Not necessarily, you could’ve avoided the topic as a whole. Just say you’re a touchy person, you like hugs! A lot of straight guys do things like that.” Mickey exclaims bringing in the voice of reasoning.
“But nothing. You fucked up. You had a way in and you closed the door. Single people all over the world with crushes are screaming at you.” He says with a disappointed frown.
“Screaming!” He exclaims with a disappointed huff as he sinks back into the car seat as I park the car.
“So what do I do?” I ask after a while.
“You fix it. You go tell him you’re sorry that you panicked like a little bitch and you go from there.” He says before jumping out the car and leaving me.
I rest my head against the car wheel, groaning loudly in frustration. Did I really mess up? I spent the weekend regretting leaving and Mickey just rubbed salt into the wounds. Did I think too much into it? Was it just his way of being friendly and I overthought it because I like him. Was I letting my emotions get the best of me.
“Ugh!!!!” I groan loudly before getting out of my car and making my way into the school. I don’t even get three cars down before I’m stopped by Aiden who appears out of nowhere.
My eyes widen in surprise as I look up at my friend, he had ignored all my texts and calls for the entire weekend, so seeing him coming to me was surprising.
“Hey.” He says awkwardly.
“Hi...” I drag out as I watch him cautiously.
“I’m sorry.” He blurts out after a while. “I shouldn’t have been such a dick to you because you, for once, wanted to do something other than indulge me.”
“I don’t indulge you. I like part-”
“No, you don’t. You think I’m dumb, I’m not. You may enjoy it here and there but if it was up to you, you wouldn’t go to a new party almost three times a week. You did it for me in the beginning then you got this reputation or some sort of party animal that you’re not. I know you’re not.” He says making my eyes widen in surprise. “I notice these things, you’re my best friend Emitt. You never once complained and you always do whatever I ask, so I’m sorry. I really am.”
“You’re going to make me cry.” I tease wiping away fake tears.
“Why do I even try?!” He groans angrily as he turns away from me but I jump on his back making him stumble a little as he struggles to hold me.
“Thanks.” I whisper before getting off of him, he offers me a wide smile before we walk into the school together.
I’ll do anything for you Aiden.
I take a deep breath as I make my way to Beckett’s locker. It was lunch break and I knew he’d be there now, with Isabel, where they always met before going to lunch.
I’d decided to go with Mickey’s advice. I was taking it too seriously. Beckett was probably just being friendly, too friendly maybe and he didn’t like me either, that’s for sure. And he couldn’t be playing with me, he had no reason to suspect I was gay and I think he really wanted to be friends. It was always hard for me to make good friends, something always went wrong or someone always would hurt me. But Beckett could be that guy, a good friend if not a crush.
“What did you do?” Isabel exclaims angrily, the sound of her slapping Beckett making me laugh as I get nearer to the hallway they were on.
“Nothing!” Beckett exclaims back, I smile at the sound of his voice as I approach the corner.
“You must’ve done something to him. When I asked you to become friends with Emitt, I meant to continue being friends with him.”
My body freezes as I stand still at the corner I almost turned into. My heart slows down as my body starts to shut down. My insides crawling and my limbs hurting all over. I feel my heart squeeze itself as the words repeat themselves over and over in my head.
“I know. I’m trying.” Beckett replies making my heart shatter as the words sink it.
“We’ll try harder!”
I zone out the rest of the conversation as I turn slowly and drag myself away with the sound of multiple voices crowding my mind.
I should’ve known.
I should’ve never trusted him.
He didn’t like me.
He didn’t want to be my friend.
He was just playing with me, my emotions.
Like the rest of them, just like they always do.
I rush out of my classroom when the last class of the day ended. I needed to find Emitt and make this right.
Isabel knocked some sense into me, kind of, she thought I didn’t want to be friends with him. That I was slacking on my favor for her, but I wasn’t. I wanted to, I think......be more than friends with Emitt. I don’t know but I think I’ll know exactly what I wanted when we talked. I needed to get to him and quick.
I search for what felt like forever before I finally found him walking down a basically deserted hallway.
“Emitt!” I shout with a wide smile as I run towards him. He doesn’t stop or even turn around, he just keeps walking like if he didn’t hear me. “Emitt!” I call louder, still nothing. I pull him back gently when I get close enough, my smile immediately fading when I catch the glare he delivers to me.
“Leave me alone.” He growls, his voice dangerously low. I stand there in shock not even realizing he had walked away, why was he looking at me like that and why the hell was he being so cold?
“Wait, Emitt.” I say quickly, standing in front of hi’ to block his path. “What’s going on?” I question as I look down at his hate filled eyes that were making Tobias whine.
“I’m done. Find someone else to play your sick games with.” He spits at me as his eyes glow slightly with resentment that made my heart squeeze itself. He tried to move again but I block him, now truly worried.
“What are you talking about?” I ask but he just tries to move again, ignoring me completely. “Emitt, what are you talking about?!”
“I’m talking about you only becoming friends with me because Isabel told you too!” He screams as he stops in his place, looking up at me with a blazing fire as I freeze in shock. “I heard you talking today. You only talk to me because she told you to.” He continues, I can’t even find the words to reply as he glares at me. “I can’t believe you.” He tries to leave but I stop him, feeling my heart race with fear at the thought of him hating me.
“It’s not what you think.” I start but he just scoffs as he pulls his arm away from me, the action causing my heart to squeeze itself.
“It’s not?! Did you become friends with me because Isabel told you to?” He grinds out, his chest rising and falling rapidly.
“Wait, you do-”
“Did you or did you not Beckett?!” He screams at me.
“....I did.” I say after a while. His eyes fill with unshed tears as he watches me with a wobbly lip that makes my heart shatter completely.
“That’s all I needed to know.” He says with a shaky tone before rushing past me.
“Wait, Emitt!” I call running after him. I grab him in time as I pull him towards me, holding his face in my hands as he tries to pull away. “I did. In the beginning I did, but it’s different now.”
“Let me go!” He shouts while trying to get away from me, the action making my muscles tighten at his repulsion of me.
“Emitt please, listen to me! I didn’t mean to hurt you, I wouldn’t ever hurt you Emitt.” I beg as he continues to fight against me before he finally breaks free, I go to touch him again but he slaps my hand away making Tobias howl in pain.
“Don’t touch me. D-don’t talk to me again.”
“Don’t come near me. I won’t continue with your sick games. I can’t believe I actually believed you, w-when you kept acting li-li-like you really wanted to.....” He stops as tears stream down his face. “And the other night....you.....”
“Emitt...” I call with a breaking heart, the pain doubling as he continues to cry. I needed to hold him, tell him he was wrong, fix this. Tell him how much he meant to me.
“Just leave me alone.” He cries before running away. I run after him with everything I had, I couldn’t lose him. Not him too, we’d barely gotten to know each other and I was already attached. I wanted to know more, everything, I wanted to have him entirely, all to myself. I couldn’t lose him, he was....all I had right now.
He breaks through the doors of the school before running towards the woods, shifting without a care as he takes off into the woods. I go to shift as well but stop once I spot a human girl walking by. I groan angrily as Emitt disappears into the woods, completely out of my reach.
What have I done....
Why does everyone run into the woods???
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