I look around my hotel room, searching for anything to stop me from getting annoyed, but nothing is working.
I take a deep breath. In and out, I can do this, don’t say anything, don’t bring up the past, not when I’m trying so hard to forget it, but I can’t.
It’s all built up. Years of keeping it all in is finally coming out, and I’m scared that when it does, I’m going to find out the horrible truth that I wanted to hide away from.
I can hear Ben walking towards me from the bedroom. I hold his shirt tighter against my naked body, trying to breathe in his scent. “Sophie, come back to bed, baby. I haven’t finished with you yet.”
His hand wraps around my slim waist, but I move away. It’s now or never Evie is sleeping, so I should do this whilst she’s not here. “You know I saw you that day,” the painful memories of that night come flashing through my mind. Him and her together. The tears are flowing down my face.
“You and Natalie fucking on your desk. She saw me, and she smiled, looked me right in my eyes, and smiled. And the thing what makes it worse is it didn’t even take you a fucking day before sticking your dick in her.” I growl at him.
All the venom in me is coming to the surface, and I hate that I fell into his trap yet again! “I told you I was pregnant with your baby. I was so happy. You knew how much I wanted my own family, seeing as I never grew up with one. You called me a whore said I was just your plaything. Then threw me out like I was nothing.”
I’m screaming. I want to slap him so hard, but I won’t because I know what hitting can do to somebody! “You know I was coming to show you the scan photo. I thought you just needed a little time. How wrong was I?”
My voice is cracking a little more. I hate showing him how hurt I am. But I carry on. I need to get this out.
“To then send Natalie to Lucy’s to give me money to get out of your lives. She told me the reason you helped me that night. You saved me to try to fix me because you couldn’t fix your sister. But realised I wasn’t fixable because I was always going to be broken,” the tears are flowing down my face. I try to wipe them away, but they won’t stop.
The look he’s giving me, I can’t describe it. It’s like I’ve punched him in his stomach. God knows how many times.