Katie- Our Wedding Day
Katie: Our Wedding Day
Tyler doesn’t fill an empty hole inside me (well, not any physical holes). I was perfectly content with my life, with my husband, with who I grew up to be. He doesn’t complete any puzzle. I was already whole when I found him.
The way I love him is not because he’s a missing link. I love him simply for being. Just by being who he is, I’ve fallen in love with every part of him. Even the parts that aren’t pretty. Even the parts that his father can’t love.
It’s what makes me feel like Tyler didn’t come into our lives for us. But rather we entered his life, for him. To help him become whoever it is he’s supposed to be. To help him heal from the loss of his mother and the detachment from his father. To teach him what unconditional love is supposed to feel like. To help him reach his full potential as a doctor, a husband, a father, and simply as a person.
Nick miraculously feels the same way.
It’s not so surprising to me. Nick and I are soulmates. There may be a ton of things we disagree on, like how clothes are supposed to go inside the hamper instead of beside, or you’re supposed to pick up the dog poop when she goes on someone’s lawn instead of pretending you didn’t see it. But the fundamentals of livelihood are the same. It’s why I know Nick loves Tyler just as much as I do.
It doesn’t mean being in a polyandry relationship is easy. Tyler isn’t nearly as simple to deal with as Nick is. I need patience with him. I’m still learning his quirks. I’m getting used to his pet peeves and his temperament. He’s pickier than Nick. A little OCD when it comes to cleanliness. And he’s a bit more unorthodox than I can handle sometimes.
But we are making it, together, the three of us that will soon become four.
I stand in front of the mirror. I wear a thin creme silk dress that slides over all my attributes like a second skin. It’s our wedding day and I don’t even try to suppress my glee.
I rest a hand on my belly, the bump invisible to strangers but I’ve definitely gained a bit of weight at five months. As my lovers have to point out every chance they get, my boobs have increased in size and my ass is more jiggly than before. And though they are enjoying the changes to my body on the outside, I’m enjoying the developing baby inside. I’ve heard her heartbeat and I’ve seen her picture. Our baby has fingers and toes. She sleeps and plays. I can feel her kick and twist inside me. I’m ready to give her all the love I’ve missed out on over the years. This child will know what it means to be worshipped.
My sister comes up beside me, dressed in a burgundy ankle length dress. Meghan smiles warmly, “I remember when I felt that way. It changes, believe me. When they are screaming and telling you they hate you, you’ll know real rage.”
I shake my head laughing but I don’t believe a word she says. My sister and I don’t exactly think or feel alike. I doubt I’ll ever be able to yell at my baby the way she screams at hers.
The photographer snaps a bunch of pictures of our sisterly love.
“I can’t believe I’m here again.” She mutters, fixing her hair.
I touch her arm, “Thank you for being here. I know you don’t agree with it.”
“It doesn’t matter what I think. You’re happy. Anyone can see that. And Nick is going with it so who am I to say anything?”
“I feel so bad for the boys. Nick’s brother and Tyler’s father, they are missing two very important people. I’m lucky.”
“You’ve always been.” She adds with a false sweetness.
I ignore it. Her little unnecessary comments have stopped affecting me years ago.
“You think everything’s ready? Is the cake here? The musicians?”
“Mom is taking care of it. You know she lives for this stuff.”
Snowball, our white boxer, comes to my side with a burgundy collar. She’s gonna be our flower girl. I kiss her head and she snuggles into me. Our relationship has taken a complete one eighty and I can’t figure out why I hated her to begin with. She’s the sweetest girl.
Mom slips through the tent entrance and looks me over, “You ready?” She checks her watch. “It’s time.”
I smile wide, “Ready.”
She clicks on her walkie talkie, “Start the music.”
The violins strike up and she waves me forward quickly tweaking my curled hair falling on my face. She brushes out any wrinkles in the silk. “You gonna be warm enough?”
“I got a shawl.”
“Is there anyway to talk you out of this?”
I grin, “Nope.”
“You know this is all pointless right? It’s not like you can claim him on your taxes.”
“Actually we can and it’s not pointless. You just don’t see the meaning.”
“Alright, let’s go.” She kisses my cheek, “Love you.”
She holds her arm out and leads me out.
The layout is magazine worth.
We are in the woods, with lights dangling from the trees. A burgundy carpet leads us down the aisle of white chairs decorated with a range of flowers of navy, burgundy, and gold. Tyler stands at the altar in a navy tuxedo looking as gorgeous as ever. He’s grinning fully, bouncing on his toes with excitement. He looks over his shoulder at Nick, dressed in the same tux and he’s smiling. My heart has never been so full.
There are a ton of people here, to a point where all our chairs are used and they are standing on the sides. It’s not close family and friends. It’s people that we barely know that want to be a part of a polyandry marriage. There are a couple news reporters off to the side snapping pictures and video taping. We weren’t supposed to be so popular but because of the recent violence to our family and the support from the community, people want to know what’s going on. Our following on Facebook has reached over five thousand people sending support.
But unfortunately it doesn’t replace all the hate we have received either.
I take a deep breath and then release it. None of that hate is going to touch me today. I’m surrounded by too much love.
Tyler kisses my mom on the cheek, thanking her before his eyes rest on me. He drinks me in like water in the desert. I can feel it, his excitement, his love just from taking his hand.
We don’t have a priest, considering what we are doing goes against the Church, but Marco, Nick’s gay employee has taken it upon himself to be our master of ceremony. He’s a pro, making the audience laugh with his silliness.
“Does anyone have a reason why these two shall not be wed? Well, ain’t nobody care so keep it to yourself.” He snaps his fingers and I’m laughing.
“These three have faced hell together and still stand stronger than most modern relationships. Love isn’t a set standard like directions to ikea furniture. Love is dynamic, arduous, like trigonometry. Ain’t nobody understand no trig and yet, it builds rockets to get us to outer space. Their love is not meant to be understood. It’s meant to be awe-inspiring. It’s meant to be protected. It’s meant to be cherished.”
It was surprisingly beautiful in some instances and then he pops up his hand,
“Who got them rings?”
I can tell Nick is fully annoyed with Marco and slaps the rings down his palm but Marco is used to Nick’s attitude and winks.
I hold out my shaking hand and Tyler grips me, “You okay?” He mouths.
I nod vehemently.
“Repeat after me: I vow to honor you. To worship you. To love you for the rest of eternity until death do us part.”
The words are so easy for me to say. But I keep flicking my eyes toward Nick, waiting for any unhappiness, any moment of clarity, any second of hesitation. I couldn’t do this if he wasn’t supporting it. I need him in my life. I need them both. I slip the ring on his finger and it looks perfect on his skin.
Tyler repeats it just as smoothly. He puts the ring on and it looks exactly like it belongs.
“I now pronounce-- Oh, no. Tyler if you would please turn around.”
Tyler turns and faces Nick.
There is a wave of question and whispers. I’m squealing inside.
“Ready?” Tyler asks.
Nick shrugs, “Can’t be any gayer.”
Marco interrupts, “You totally can. Nick.”
“How’d it go again. I vow to honor you. To worship you. To, you know, love, blah blah blah till we die.” He slips a ring onto Tyler’s finger.
Marco sneers, “Close enough. Tyler?”
Nick laughs and Tyler puts his own ring on Nick’s pointer finger.
“I pronounce you, Married!” Marco tosses gold confetti in the air and I dive into their arms.