Crossroads: Book 1

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Chapter 50

Elena


There’s a knock on my door. “Elena, honey...what happened?” My dad’s question is muffled through the wood.

My pillow is already soaked from the tears. “I don’t want to talk about it,” I cry over the door. “Just leave me alone.” I sniffle and nose-dive back into the pillow.

None of this makes sense. Mike seemed interested in me; he even promised that he wouldn’t let anyone hurt me. I guess that didn’t include himself.

I sit up in bed, wipe my tears, and grab my phone. All the memories of the times we’ve shared flood my mind: The Netflix binge-watching, how he held me while I cried, how worried he was after I was almost taken. How he has kissed me, the way he looked at me. He even beat up a boy at school to help protect my honor. Mike has spent a lot of time with me over this month and a half...why is he trying to push me away? I really don’t think I was the only one getting attached...

I hold the phone in my hand and hover my thumb over his name. I was scared out of my mind, and I was mad at him for the danger he put me through today. However, when I looked at him in that car, while he, too, was catching his breath – all I wanted to do was kiss him. Everything about today was risky - yes, but he kept me safe.

I can understand why he enjoys that kind of adrenaline - it really fires you up. He just looked so damn sexy. I was torn between being angry and being turned on. I didn’t know what to do with myself, so I jumped him. With the way he kissed me back, I thought that maybe it was what he wanted too. He sure acted like it’s what he wanted with the reaction he gave me. Am I not his type because I’m not experienced enough for him? In all the times we’ve kissed, he sure seemed like he was enjoying it...

I don’t believe you. I text Mike. What is really going on? Why are you doing this?

The text sounds a bit insecure and clingy, but I don’t care. I really like him...liked him. He made me believe that he liked me too. If it was all an act, he was very convincing.

Was my dad right? Is Mike doing what his father did to my mom? Did Mike purposely say those things to hurt me?

The image of Kara all over him in that little red bikini is forever stained in my memory. No matter how many times I squeeze my eyes shut and bury my face into the pillows – it’s still there. Why is he doing this to me?

Kara’s words pierce right through my deflated ego: This man needs a woman, honey, not a little girl.

My heart aches. I throw my phone to the floor, bury myself back into the pillow and under the blankets while still wearing Mike’s sweatshirt. I’ve thought about taking it off, but as twisted as it sounds – I feel like he’s here with me, and I don’t want that to go away.

The wind begins to howl against the window. Rain is pouring down, and the lightning is beaming into my room. I just want to curl up in a fetal position and give up on finding love. I thought I almost had it, but then the possibility just crumpled at my feet by the hands of the one who I believed would cradle my heart next to his.

He once commented that he didn’t believe he had a heart...that he was not a good guy...that he has evil inside him. Perhaps he was right...

I curl up as tears continue to pour out of me; my sobs are drowned out by the rolling thunder closing in.

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