If I thought I would have crossed path with the most incredible man I’ve ever met, two years ago? Absolutely not. I didn’t even think they existed.
And yet, here I sit... looking at the void in our living room, from our velvet couch. My eyes getting dry from staring at nothing at all. My breath barely audible.
I can’t talk, can’t move, can’t even think properly.
Maybe I’m paralyzed? I think I’m in shock. Can you get paralyzed by shock? Because it wasn’t fear... Maybe I was even dead?
No, no that’s not possible. I can hear the beautiful man that I call my own, just to my left. Breathing beastly. Like he is possessed.
And I can feel the red that have tainted my face and my sanity.
Finally being able to at least change my stare down to my legs, my eyes roamed my once gorgeous white dress. Now looking like a ghastly cloth from a butcher.
But yet, I just sat there. Fairly calm. My hands didn’t even shake, my eyes didn’t produce any tears. My lungs didn’t try too grip for air, I breathed just fine. And I didn’t have a bead of sweat.
A normal person would be running by now, right?
It’s probably the trauma... it must be!
My thoughts strayed to some bizarre things. Things that shouldn’t even matter in the situation I was in. But I couldn’t help it.
I heard my name...
“Alisa?” I heard again, and suddenly the most gorgeous eyes meet mine.
But they looked different for a few seconds. They were darker, more sinister. I had never seen his eyes like that.
But in the blink of an eye, it was gone. Like I imagine it. And he looked at me with the same warmth he always did.
But he was waiting for something. Had he asked me a question, waiting for a response?
I tried to speak. But my throat appeared to desiccate. I couldn’t even get a small grunt out. My throat was parched.
It didn’t rise...
“I love you Alisa. So, so much! I’ll do anything for you.”
... With a horrific insight, I knew everything was my fault! The cause to all the red being absorbed by our carpet. The reason to why my dress was crimson red, instead of an innocent white.
The reason, the words, the wrong words... that I wish with my whole being, I never uttered a few moments before.
I was the cause of my friends still body, in the couch, next to mine. The cause of her body going rigid and cold.
“Don’t leave me...”
Yes, you would think it was him speaking those words. No, it was me whispering them with a fear of losing him.
“Never!” He answered firmly. Letting go of my body to look into my eyes.
He grabbed my face with his big hands. He smiled that smile, that always calmed me down. Always making me feel special and loved.
“Never... it’s you and me Alisa. Always.” He smiled even bigger, snuggling his face against mine. Not even thinking about the crimson red that colored his left cheek and nose.
I smiled back at him, a small one that didn’t quite reach my eyes. But still a sign of my affection nonetheless.
I was sick, wasn’t I?
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