|2.| Voices In My Head
A month later…
I’ve been training my body to become stronger. Since two weeks ago, I started training with Alastair. I honestly missed Lorcan; the funny moments and angry lectures he would give me when I was getting to the point of giving up were something I would always miss.
So far, it’s been a month, and things have changed around here.
Azriel took Lorcan’s place as the new king. His coronation was still on hold, but he was the rightful ruler. He would take the reins of the empire, and Alastair would be next to him. The atmosphere around the palace also changed. It was oppressing.
I would feel this suffocating feeling around the entire court. No one looked relaxed. Instead, everyone was stressed. Lorcan’s presence surely is missed, and everyone now acts differently. Maybe because it’s Azriel, but they look scared of him.
Since Azriel’s little proposal, he has been acting strange. He would talk with me and occasionally join me for tea or training, but it wouldn’t last for more than an hour. I could feel there was a distance between us since that night, and I hated it. I wanted things to go back to normal, how we used to be. But it seems not everything was going to be like I always wished. I know I had a particular fault. After all, I declined his proposal.
I lifted my gaze and dodged a kick from Alastair. Since we started training, Alastair has become stricter. He doesn’t joke like he used to. Maybe Lorcan’s death was affecting him. Also, I started training my powers with Michael. So far, he has helped me control my seduction powers and mind control. But the issue remains in my cursed blood.
Occasionally, I would have these strange phases where my mind would become hazy and feel dark lurking in my mind during the nights. Sometimes I wouldn’t sleep, and not having Maximus next to me made it more complicated. I needed someone’s support, and neither Azriel nor Maximus was giving it to me.
I felt like I was going crazy. Sometimes I wished Lilith was here.
Lilith remained in slumber. Azriel gave the ultimate word a week ago. She is to be in slumber for a century. That crushed Jonathan awfully. I found it unfair, and I tried talking with Azriel about it, but that day he got furious. It was strange to see him mad at me, but that day he even yelled at me, telling me to mind my business.
What he didn’t understand was that I was just trying to help. Allow Jonathan to spend time with Lilith, but he banned Jonathan from approaching the slumber rooms. Now he had left the empire and returned to Maximus palace.
Speaking of Maximus, I haven’t seen him since a week ago. I know he was busy, and he has been going from place to place. After he found out that I killed Calandra, he started distancing from me as well. It hurt looking at him like that, but I understood why. Even though Calandra cursed me, Maximus had an attachment to her. Michael told me Calandra helped Maximus’ parents in the past, and she was the one who helped him be delivered into this world. So even if he didn’t show it, I know he was in pain.
“Concentrate, Amari,” I heard Alastair say. Nodding, I continue fighting him.
Once we finished with our three hours of training, Alastair excused himself and went back in. I watched him disappear into the palace halls. Then, with a sigh, I look up at the sky. The sky looked gloomy. Gray clouds covering the horizon as a thunderstorm approaches us.
Grabbing my things, I head back to my bedroom. I needed an urgent bath.
Closing the door to my room, I get a swift smell of food. My stomach grumbled as I smiled embarrassedly.
“Shower first,” I said as I undressed.
Quickly, I got into the shower. The cold water was sliding down my body. Washing my body quickly, I finished and started drying myself. I stared at my freckled face in the mirror. Lately, I’ve noticed changes in my body, like my freckles becoming more visible on my face and body, which was annoying. Also, my chocolate hair has turned lighter with streaks of red, and even my body has become voluptuous.
Letting the towel fall, I hold my breast. I frowned. Was it me, or my breast looked bigger?
Squeezing them lightly, I turned to the side and stared at them. They looked like they had gotten bigger. Lowering my eyes down my body, I also noticed I have more meat. My thighs got thicker, and my legs as well. Was it the exercise?
Shrugging my shoulders, I grabbed my brush and started fixing my tangled hair. I needed a new haircut.
My hair has outgrown once again. It was below my elbows.
“Should I leave it long or cut it?” I mumble.
“Leave it long,” I heard a familiar voice. Jumping in fright, I turn and find Maximus laughing.
“You scared me,” I said nervously.
“Yes…” he said as his eyes moved up and down my body. I frowned for a second before realizing I was naked.
“MAXIMUS!” I said, crouching down and covering my body with the towel.
“Why are you shy? I have seen that body before. Or do I need to remind you?” Maximus said with a smirk. I blushed hard.
“Get out!” I said, embarrassed.
“Fine,” Maximus chuckled.
I stood and covered my body. Once feeling the towel wrapped around me tightly, I headed back to the room. Maximus was undressing. His back to me.
I purposely ignored him and started looking for clothes to wear. Finding a white dress, I stood but felt a presence behind me. I gasped as Maximus slid a finger down my neck.
“I’ve missed you,” he whispered close to my ear.
I gulped my shyness down and looked at our reflection in the mirror.
“Sorry, I’ve been distant. It’s just that-”
“You’ve been busy, I know,” I said, smiling.
Maximus shook his head and held my shoulders.
“What I want to say is that I have been busy arranging stuff, but I shouldn’t have neglected you like that. Also, there is something I want to ask you but have been refraining from myself. I can’t bring myself and ask you,” Maximus mumbled with his eyes cast down.
What was he talking about?
“Go ahead, ask,” I encouraged him.
“Amari, I…” Maximus stuttered. His hands were tightening around my shoulders. “Did… did Andrei rape you?”
I tensed up as he looked into my eyes through the mirror. How did he know about that?
“Answer me, Amari?” he said, barely a whisper.
Nervously, I pushed his hands away and started dressing.
“I-I don’t know w-what you’re talking about,” I lied. I had forgotten about that. My mind has been worrying about other stuff. I forgot about Andrei and what he did to me.
Chuckling nervously, I stopped. Feeling tears in my eyes, I sniff and continue fixing my dress.
“He did, didn’t he?” Maximus asked, “If you are wondering how I know, he told us personally that day.”
“Us?” I asked, turning around, “Who else knows?”
“Michael,” Maximus answered, “now tell me, is it true?”
My heart pounded in my chest as I embarrassedly lowered my head. Looking at my tears fall, I nod frantically. Maximus pulled me into a hug. I finally cried as my memory goes back to that day: his disgusting touch, his laughter, his kisses. My skin crawled as my stomach made flips. Nausea reached my throat as I covered my mouth.
Pushing Maximus away, I ran towards the bathroom. I reached the toilet on time as the small contents I had on my stomach come out.
Maximus flushed the toilet for me and rubbed my back. I cried, leaning my head on the wall.
“It’s ok, come here,” Maximus whispered as I turned and hugged him.
His warm chest is a welcome breather to my stiff body.
Walking us back to bed, he takes a seat and cleans my mouth. I sniffed my tears away as his hand reached for my chin. Then, lifting it, he stared into my eyes.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” Maximus muttered, “I’m sorry I was late.”
I shook my head. It wasn’t his fault.
“Hey, look at me,” Maximus ordered, lifting my chin, “I love you. I want you to know that. I love you with all my heart, Amari. And no matter what he did, I will still love you.”
With tearful eyes, I look into his red ones. He was serious. I felt my heart skip a beat.
Nodding silently, I lowered my head. I felt ashamed, disgusting. Then, feeling Maximus move, I look at what he was doing; I found him grabbing a glass of water.
“Drink,” Maximus ordered as I smiled wryly. Then, drinking half of the glass, I handed it back and thanked him.
Reaching for my cheeks, Maximus sweetly strokes them. I smiled as he looked at me intensely.
I move my hands and put them over his chest. He was warm. Lowering my hand, I stroke his scar. I don’t know what got into me, but I leaned over and kissed it. Maximus inhaled sharply as my lips moved across his chest.
I could feel his thick shaft poking me. I was straddling him as I lowered myself and kissed him all over his chest.
Opening my eyes slowly, I look at him. His lips slightly opened as he looked at me with eyes full of lust.
Licking him, I moved my way up and found his lips. Remembering I just threw up, I tried to pull away, but his hand found my neck, and he kissed me again.
“Wait, I haven’t washed my mouth,” I said, embarrassed.
“You think I care?” Maximus frowned, “that doesn’t bother me, especially from you.”
A smile found my lips as I shook my head. Maximus smiled back and slowly kissed me. Our eyes interlock as we kiss. Closing them, I deepened the kiss. My body trembled as his hands traveled up and down my body.
I have missed him so much.
Finding my neck, he trails kisses until he suddenly stops. Burying his face on my chest, he hugged me.
“Do you want to?” Maximus asked in a muffled voice. I chuckled as he remained hidden on my chest.
“Do you?” I whispered.
He lifted his face and smiled. I noticed a slight blush spreading across his face.
“But are you sure? I know that what happened might make you feel bad. I don’t wish to push you,” Maximus mumbled as my heart ached.
“I know, and thank you for understanding,” I whispered, smiling.
Maximus smiled. I missed him.
“Kiss me,” I whispered as he moved away from my chest.
“Really?” Maximus whispered. I nodded as his lips found mine again.
Holding me in his arms, he flips us over to the bed. I chuckled as he pecked my cheeks.
“I missed you. I’m sorry I haven’t been around,” Maximus whispered as he kissed me softly.
“I know you are busy. Everyone is,” I mumble back. I knew that wasn’t the complete truth, but I didn’t want to ruin the mood.
“Are you planning to stay here longer?” Maximus suddenly asked. I looked at him and frowned.
“Why do you ask?” I questioned him.
“Look, I have to go back. And if I go back, I won’t be able to come back for at least two months, Amari. So I want you to come with me. Also, it’s… it’s your home, and you are my home. So there’s nothing more than I want than you with me,” Maximus whispered. His words made my heart skip a beat.
I tried to answer him back, but my mouth couldn’t form words.
“Think about it. I will leave tomorrow afternoon. If you decide to stay, it’s ok. I won’t mind,” Maximus said, kissing my temple, “I know you have someone else here.”
I felt speechless as he moved away from me. I could feel his hands trembling. Was he worried I would stay here?
Sitting back up, I lowered my gaze. I want to go back for a while, so why not go with him?
“I want to go back,” I mumble, making him turn his head and look at me with a face of relief.
“Amari?” Maximus mumble.
I smiled with a nod.
“Of course,” I giggled.
Staring at each other silently, I crawled up to his lap, straddling him once again. I softly caressed his face. He needed a shave. Leaning over, I kissed him, sucking on his lip. Then, hearing a low growl, he turned us and started undressing me.
Throwing my dress to the floor, he lowers his body. Big hands traveled down my waist until they found my underwear. Feeling his claws, he ripped it and moved his hand to my throbbing pussy. Pushing a finger, I moaned. He started moving his finger in and out in a slow torturous way. Quickening the pace, I feel the pressure building up. With quivering legs, I moan his name as my orgasm hits me.
I pant as I hear him chuckled. Getting between my legs, he leans over and kisses me. My hands find his long hair. Pulling lightly, I moan as his body presses down on mine. He was so hot I was feeling so weak against him. Moving my hands down to his lower back, I pressed him down. I wanted to touch him.
“Amari…” he whispered near my neck.
Feeling his lips down my chest, I moan loud. My back arched as he sucked on my nipple. My legs quiver in need. Wrapping my legs around him, I push him closer. I wanted him to fuck me hard.
“Please, Maximus,” I breathlessly say, gripping the sheets hard. My nails dug deep into them. Then, in a swift move, he pulled his pants down. His pre-cum was a delicious welcome to my throbbing pussy. Then, holding my thigh, he thrust into me. I moaned as his thick shaft pounded in and out. He grunts near my ear as I follow his rhythm.
His lips found mine as my hands found his neck. I yelled his name as he fuck me roughly. The slapping of our bodies echoed in the room with our grunts.
My mind became hazy as I turned us over. Maximus looked surprised as I started rocking my hips.
“I remember I said I wanted to ride you,” I whispered seductively. Biting my lip, I throw my head back and move. His shaft was hitting my spot as I moan his name.
“Fuck, yes,” Maximus groaned, holding me tightly from the waist.
My breast bounced with every movement.
Maximus sat up, making me quiver in pleasure. His shaft hit precisely on my spot as I moaned my orgasm.
“Oh, my…” my voice broke as he kept pushing deeper.
Every tiny hair on my body stood as he thrust deeper.
“W-Wait…” My voice cracks.
“No, not yet,” Maximus growled. I embraced him as he quickened his pace.
“Y-Y-Yeesss…” I slurred as my eyes rolled back. Feeling his shaft twitch, he gave several thrusts before he tensed up and, with a grunt cum inside me.
I pant as my eyes droop. Licking my lips, I lifted my head, but Maximus pulled us back. I rested my head on his chest. Tiredly, I doze off. He didn’t utter a word. The only sound I could hear was his beating heart that beat vigorously against his chest.
I cringed as my head throbbed. Finally, the slight pain woke me up. I slowly opened my eyes. Something heavy was around my waist. As I looked at what it was, I noticed Maximus’s arm wrapped around me.
With a soft groan, I try to sit up. The bedsheets barely cover my naked body. I didn’t want to wake Maximus up. So reaching for his arm, I move it away. Maximus grumbled something asleep, but I ignored it.
Careful not to wake him up, I took a deep breath and walked up to the bathroom.
I held my throbbing head. It was the same as every other night. Wasn’t Maximus’ presence helping?
I haven’t mentioned it to anyone. But the pain was becoming more potent every night. It was the same after I fell asleep. My mind would become hazy, and then I would start having pain. I dislike this. Why was this happening?
Deciding to wash my face, I look at my pale face in the mirror.
I turned around. There it was again, the voice.
Shaking my head, I took a deep breath. Then, I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on something else.
‘Open your eyes, Amari.’ the voice ordered. Doing as he asked, scared, I look at my reflection. Gasping, my body trembles.
What was I seeing?
In the mirror next to me was another person standing. A shadow covers his face as his lips twitch into a smile.
‘Kill him. Know that you have to.’
I backed away and held my head. Something dark lurked in my head. Scared to wake Maximus, I turn and look that he is still in bed. His back on me.
Shifting my eyes back to the mirror, I noticed the person was gone. Who was that?
I jumped as Maximus called my name.
“Hey, are you alright?” Maximus asked as I looked between him and the mirror, “Amari?”
“Y-Yes… I just had a nightmare,” I lied. Maximus stood at the door, observing me. Smiling, I pretend to be washing my face. “Let’s go back,” I muttered, drying my face.
His eyes didn’t leave my face.
“I am,” I forced a smile and walked out of the bathroom, pulling him with me.
Biting my lower lip, I crawl to bed.
I lay down; Maximus wraps his arm around me. Kissing my head, I closed my eyes, a silent tear roll down my face.
The next day we left earlier than planned. I had helped with my things as Maximus talked to Azriel. I looked towards them; they were talking about something serious. Both of them looked tense.
“Everything is ready,” the coachman said as I nodded a thank you.
Walking up to them, I hear Azriel hissed at Maximus.
“Everything alright?” I asked as they both look my way.
“Yes,” Maximus said smiling, “Say your goodbyes I will wait for you in the carriage.”
Kissing my cheek, I watch him go towards the carriage. I could feel Azriel looking at me.
“What happened?” I asked without looking his way.
“Nothing,” Azriel said coldly.
I turned and looked into his black eyes. A week ago, Azriel cut his hair. Now his long black hair was gone, and a short one framed his chiseled face. His hair combed straight back. He looked handsome.
“I miss your long hair,” I suddenly blurted. Azriel’s eyes widened as I shut my mouth.
“Do you now?” Azriel said, finally smiling.
“Yes, very, but you still look handsome. Azriel take care, ok?” I mumble as his smile softens.
“I think I have to be the one saying that,” Azriel chuckled.
“Don’t worry. I will be alright. I will come back soon,” I said, standing on my toes and kissing Azriel’s cheek. “See you in two months.”
“W-Wait!” Azriel said as I backed away.
He held my arm as my eyes looked deeply into his. Then, letting go, I felt his arm circled my waist and pulled me. His pink lips found mine as he gave me a soft yet warm kiss. I could feel his emotions on it as he pulled away, leaving me breathless.
“I will visit,” he answered as I nodded. I felt my face blushing as I cleared my throat. Giving him a last smile, I wave a small goodbye as I walk to the carriage.
Hopefully, Maximus didn’t see that.
Once in, the doors closed, and I waved another goodbye. Alastair waved goodbye as he walked up to Azriel. I was feeling sad as I parted ways.
“It must be the bond,” I mumbled.
I look towards Maximus. Maximus crossed his arms over his chest. Eyes on the window and lips in a thin line. Did he see us kissing?
“Hey,” I said, reaching for his hand. Maximus turned and looked at me.
He wasn’t smiling. Instead, a slight frown formed on his forehead. I giggle and move up to his lap.
I flick his nose and kiss his forehead.
“Can’t wait to get home,” I said, smiling. Maximus sighed and, after a while, smiled.
“Yes, neither can’t I,” he said, holding me by the waist. I rested my head on his chest as we both stared silently at the green fields.