My mouth falls open at the sight of Jake's wolf, big black paws against the grass, his snout breathing in and out sharply. His dark eyes staring at me as he stands on all fours. He was a lot larger than I imagined him to be, not realising how scary wolves looked up close.
Moving my eyes from his face to his body, taking in his black fur. It was shiny and looked so incredibly soft, admiring every inch of this beast. My sight gravitating to the patches of fur that were silver, or maybe they were grey?
I couldn't tell but I wasn't sure what it meant, might have something to do with him not feeling like he has a wolf or is a wolf. Or maybe it's a cool mutation that makes him different from the rest.
Realising that he couldn't communicate with me, I take a step forward to him. Our eyes meet but something inside of them seemed distant and cold, lifeless. The feeling made my heart pang painfully, something definitely wasn't right with his wolf but it wasn't my place to ask. It clearly had an impact on Jake's life and his emotions.
"Can I touch you?" I ask as I raise my fingers, his wolfs eyes follow my actions. "I'm gonna touch you." I confirm realising he won't reply.
My fingers lightly graze the fur on his head, my skin almost sinking into the softness. "Wow," I breathe out, the little hairs tickling my hand. "What is your hair care routine?"
His nose sniffles slightly but continues to let me pet him. This felt so strange, I was just touching his head and this is deemed as acceptable. "Honestly you feel so soft. My hair is like dry rats tails." I sigh as I swoon over his fur.
After a few moments he takes a few steps back and looks directly at me, staring back at him confused. "Oh," I say suddenly. "Right, I'll turn around."
Turning back to face the wall, Jake shifts from behind me. The sound even worse than the first time, I never wanted to hear bones snapping and re-aligning again. It would give me nightmares forever, even more so than the movie we watched tonight.
Jake takes a deep breath and gets dressed from behind me. "You know your wolf is really cute," I comment. "A bit scary, but cute."
"Shut up," he mumbles. "My wolf is not cute."
I can hear Jake zip up the flies on his trousers and I turn around to face him, not remembering that he would be topless and I had to look at him. "Well I think he's cute," I say as I fold my arms over my chest.
He grabs his T-shirt and slides it over his chest effortlessly, motioning his head towards the back door and we enter. "He's meant to be dangerous and scary, not one part is meant to be cute."
"Maybe I'm just obsessed with furry friends," I comment as I waltz over to the couches, not expecting Jake to follow me.
"Maybe you'll be that crazy pet lady that has thirty animals and no husband," he laughs to himself as he leans back onto the couch, arm resting on the back.
My mouth gapes open at his choice of words. "Excuse you," I shake my head at him dismissively. "I'll be happily married with loads of pets, thank you very much."
"You wanna get married when you're older?" He asks, his eyes trailing from my lips to my eyes.
I shrug. "Who knows? Maybe, marriage is a big commitment that's for sure. I mean first of all I'll have to find someone who would want to marry me in the first place." I say with a light smile. "What about you?"
"Eventually, yeah," he nods once as his hand rests down onto his leg.
"Oh yeah, your mate when she comes." I say, my voice dipping slightly.
The word mate almost makes Jake wince and leaves me confused. "Let's not talk about that shit," he says instantly as he sits up further in the chair.
"Oh sorry," I say as I run a hand through my messy hair. "So what's up with your wolf?"
Jake's eyes turn to me stunned. "Talk about me being blunt," he says but I can't help but smile.
I felt similar to him in this way, getting straight by to the point and asking questions we wanted to know. "I'm intrigued," I say honestly.
He watched me carefully before sighing. "If you mean why am I randomly covered in greying patches then the answer is, I don't know."
"What did your dad say about it?" I ask as I rest my elbow onto the back of the couch, leaning onto my hand.
"He doesn't know either, he keeps telling me not to worry but something isn't right." He shakes his head as he looks down to the floor.
"What doesn't feel right?"
Slowly he looks up to me, his hands clasped in front of him. "It's like my wolf is dying or something. I don't know but I don't always feel 100% there, especially with my wolf."
My lips swish from side to side as I think about his words, trying my hardest to understand. "Have you spoke to anyone about it?" Realising that taking to another wolf would be the wisest thing to do.
Jake instantly shakes his head. "No, I haven't. It's embarrassing."
"Why is it embarrassing?" I ask as I furrow my eyebrows to him.
"Because my mom and dad keep going on about how I'm going to take over the pack when dad gets on, that I should learn how to be a good leader with my mate. I can't be weak, I need to set a good example." He says before rolling his eyes harshly.
"Jake," I say softly. "You shouldn't keep this to yourself, regardless of what your parents have said. They should know how you're feeling."
He doesn't reply, his head lowering to his lap. I could tell that his eyes had fallen, his whole aura changed. Then after a few moments his head perks up and he turns to me suddenly.
"Can I kiss you?"
My eyes widen instantly at his words, barely being able to find my own. Noticing how my hands had begun to shake against my legs.
Jake licks his lips subtly and edges closer to me. "I just want to know how what my wolf would feel like if I kissed you. If it would make me feel any different."
I couldn't stop blinking at his question. He watches me with anticipation, I can see it on his face. Not knowing if he was coming or going. "I'm sorry," he says before shaking his head. "That was rude of me I didn't—"
"Okay," I nod. His eyes catch mine as he tilts his head slightly. "You can kiss me for your wolf experiment."
His eyebrows stretch at my answer, surprised at agreeing. Clearing his throat before moving closer to me on the couch, moving my leg so it was now in front of me and touching Jake's. Slowly he edges closer, my body shaking slightly.
He presses his lips to mine, a little too hard but I didn't mind. I could feel my whole face light up in flames as he opened his lips wider, big enough to claim my bottom lip. Trying to ignore the butterflies that danced in my stomach as he kissed me slowly.
Eventually we break away and share a glance, our faces still close. "Did your experiment work?" I question out with a soft pant.
Jake glances at me for a moment, a look that I couldn't quite grasp. Then he leans forward to grab my face between his two large hands and pulls me closer. "Shut up," he mumbles before kissing me again, my heart soaring into the sky.
His lips claiming mine like this was his last kiss on Earth, I didn't even know what to do with myself. Clutching onto his wrists as he continues to hold my face with every deep kiss, our lips bouncing off each others.
For my first kiss, it was pretty amazing. Especially with someone who was so incredibly attractive and knew how to kiss, he made this feel so easy and completely took my breath away.
When our lips turn numb and we have no breath left between us, Jake breaks the kiss with a slow pull away. My eyes instantly shooting up to look at his, trying to understand what the fuck was that and if he wanted to kiss me that second time.
But all I could see was the feeling of confusion in his eyes, his gaze looking down to the couch. He was deep in thought, trying to piece something together but I couldn't figure out what. Nor did I want to ask, I think I got enough out of him tonight as it is. I didn't want to ruin what we built, it definitely wasn't what I was expecting.
"Are you okay?" I ask, dragging his attention back into the room.
Jake raises his sight up to me and nods. "Yeah, sorry," he says, his voice sounding distant. "Thanks for that, it's urm... it's definitely cleared somethings up."
I try my hardest not to sigh at his words but I couldn't help it. "Yeah," I say, my heart dropping slightly. "Sure."
Neither of us say anything further so I stand from the couch and quickly rub my eyes. "I'm going to bed, I've got a shift at the alley in the morning." I say as I proceed to the stairs without looking back. "Goodnight."
My wrist is yanked, shocked at the speed Jake had to catch up to me. His tall frame towers over mine as he shakes his head, a hand messing up his hair. I could tell that he was facing so many mental battles up there and he wasn't sure what to feel or what to think, about anything.
I felt awful for him because I've been there and I know what that feels like, to be out of control of your feelings. He's not a bad person, he cares deep down even though his personality can come off as cold and blunt. He means well, he has always meant well. Other things just mentally block him from being the best version of himself. And that sucks.
Jake doesn't even know what to say, his brain working a million miles an hour trying to force something out. "Hey," I say quietly. "I don't know what's going on in that mind of yours but whatever it is, it's okay. And if you want to talk then I'm here. But thanks for the kiss, it was nice."
He stares back at me in defeat, slowly letting go of my wrist. "Goodnight Myla," he says as he lowers his head and takes a step backwards.
"Goodnight Jake," I smile towards him but he doesn't look at me.
I wanted nothing more than to give him a huge hug but I think we would take one step at a time, too much affection for one day. Turning around and walking up the stairs, feeling my heart sulk at me for leaving it how it is.
In the back of my mind I could tell that we both wanted more but here we are, stubborn teenagers who don't know how to admit what they desire. Maybe I'm wrong and Jake wouldn't want to be seen dead with me but somewhere I felt like it was true. The way that he has completely softened to the idea of me, that we get along and how similar we really are.
Realising that I need to be the one to make more effort, otherwise we both won't progress and we don't need that. I enjoyed Jake's company too much and that concerned me slightly, what would I be if he wasn't alive and I was here alone? My life would be boring, that's for sure.