I wasn’t sure what it would feel like to lose your virginity, I certainly wasn’t expecting it to be perfect like it’s always portrayed in movies and books. In fact it was a little bit everywhere, it was fun and scary at the same time but definitely something that will need work, I didn’t ‘come’ and I don’t reckon I’ll be able to do it any time soon.
Sure it felt strange, painful at times but as it went on I could understand where the pleasure would come from. My body was adjusting to having something inside me for the first time. Jake was patient though, slow and careful. Reminding him that it was my first time and not to expect much, but to be honest, I didn’t care what he thought. If he thought I was shit, how could I be good when I’ve never done it before?
I didn’t really think those things but I guess you have no idea what goes through a boys head after they have sex.
Showering frantically, ridding myself of Jake’s scent before Caleb hit the roof and chucked me out on the streets for being rebellious. Luckily I had a shift at the alley today which allowed me to have time outside of the house, even better, Remy was working and I felt relived the second I saw her.
The day moved pretty slow and the bowling alley wasn’t overly busy which was a bonus, it was far too hot to be inside currently. The air conditioning barely working which I believed was sending the customers away, I don’t blame them because I was currently melting in my own sweat.
“You’ve been acting different,” Remy says as she approaches the front desk, startling me slightly.
“What?” I say in response and shake my head. “No I haven’t.”
She stares back at me for a few moments, her arms over her chest. “Hmm,” she mumbles. “You just seem different.”
“It’s the heat,” I say quickly as I wipe my forehead. “It’s making be go delirious.”
Remy breaks out a smile and nods. “Trust me,” she leans back onto the counter. “This place is a joke, no wonder no one wants to come in here when it literally feels like a sauna.”
“Has anyone told Kirsty?” I question. “I haven’t seen her in ages, has she just given up on this place or what?”
Remy lets out a strained sigh. “Fuck knows but I’ve pretty much taken over her job,” she mumbles, irritation clear in her voice. “Honestly, I have no idea what she would do without me. In a way I’m glad I’m going to be leaving this dumpster of a place because I don’t feel valued at all.”
My lips part at her words. “When are you leaving?” I say as my heart race increases.
“I’m not yet silly,” she pushes my shoulder at my distress. “But when I decide to go travelling which is hopefully soon. I just want to make sure I have enough money.”
“God,” I press my hand to my heart. “Don’t scare me like that, I thought you was leaving like next week or something.”
“Don’t be stupid,” she laughs at me. “I wouldn’t leave without telling you were I was going. Hell Myla, you’re like one of my really good friends now. You’re gonna know what’s happening in my life.”
“Well that’s good to know,” I smile in her direction.
“So my parents are out of town next weekend and I wanna have a party,” she claps her hands together. “Nothing crazy but just some old friends from high school that I haven’t seen in a while, introduce them to you.”
“Okay,” I agree. “Sounds fun.”
The walkie-talkie attached to Remy’s waistband rumbles and she grunts, pulling it from her jeans and raises it to her ear to listen. “There’s a spillage in the male toilet that needs attending to,” it crackles before shutting off.
Remy’s teeth grit, lowering the walkie-talkie slowly and huffing out an annoyed sigh. “I do not get paid enough for this shitty job!” She yells, grabbing onto the mop leaning against the side.
“I’ll come help,” I say before grabbing the bucket and following her lead.
“See this is why I love you.”
. . .
It wasn’t late when I got home but I wasn’t hungry, turning down Zara’s home cooked casserole, the smell swarming me the second I walked through the front door. Feeling somewhat strange, the heat was getting to me, needing a cool shower and my bed as soon as possible.
As I reach the top of the stairs, about to walk into my room, Jake stands at the other end of the hall by his door. Our eyes meet for a second before I swallow harshly, he makes his way over to me. Looking like he was about to go out to a party or something.
“Hey,” he says lowly.
“Hey,” I respond, pressing down onto the handle and throwing my backpack into my room.
“Are you okay?”
I hum and nod in his direction. “Yeah,” I smile.
“I mean after last night...” he pauses for a moment to lower his voice. “Are you okay?”
Stopping to look back at him, my lashed battering against my face. “Yeah I’m okay after last night,” I say as I clear my throat.
“I know it didn’t go as exactly as planned,” Jake sighs before scratching his head. “I mean, considering it’s your first time I think it went a lot better than it could of.”
My head nods. “Yeah I agree,” I shrug simply. “I guess it’s just something I need to get used to, I knew it would hurt.”
“I still had a good time,” he steps closer to me, my heart fluttering in the process.
“Me too,” I smile up to him. “You made me feel really comfortable and that’s what matters.”
His lips stretch out into a wide smile. “Good I’m glad,” he says softly, his eyes staring back at me with admiration.
“Maybe we should try again,” I say confidently.
I mean, I really did want to try again. There was something between us that neither could deny, I’m not sure what it was, whether it was my body getting used to my horny hormones or I actually am attracted to someone for the first time in my life.
Jake blinking back at me like he was trying to comprehend what I just said. “You want to try again?” He repeats and I instantly nod.
“Yeah,” I say simply. “Practice makes perfect, right?”
“Right,” Jake nods and folds his arms across his chest, leaning onto the wall beside him. “Most definitely.”
“Okay well I’m glad we are on the same page,” I tell him, my shoulders slumping slightly. “I’m gonna crash, it’s been a really long day.” My feet take one step into my room.
Jake watches my moves and nods. “Sure,” he smiles. “Sleep well.”
“Thanks,” I say as I latch onto the door. “Goodnight.”
. . .
On Thursday evening our parents went out for dinner, time to ‘catch up’ which I was not complaining about at all. In fact I was excited to have the house to myself, or shall I say ourselves.
Jake was currently under me as we kissed on his bed, his top gone and his hands now trying to unclip my bra. I laugh against him and lean up, taking it off myself. He rolls his eyes at the situation but brings the back of my neck down to him, our lips entwining again.
I was breathless, Jake diving his tongue in and out of my mouth. Moving his hands down to my waist, grinding my lower half down onto his. I liked being on top, I felt like I had a purpose, even if we were just kissing.
“Guide me,” he mumbles against me.
Breaking the kiss as he latches his lips onto my neck. “What?” I pant out.
“When I go down on you,” my stomach clenches at his deep voice. “Tell me what to do, what feels good. I want to make you come.”
My eyes close in satisfaction as he flips me down onto my back and slowly removes my shorts. “Okay,” I agree. Who would turn down an orgasm really?
His lips trail down my sternum, to my belly, kissing my skin softly and slowly. The tension was truly building and I wanted to explode already. This was happening again and I couldn’t believe it.
Jake ducks his head between my legs and I arch my back at the connection, his tongue slowly devouring me with each movement. Gosh, he didn’t need me to give him directions. He already knew what he was doing with that magical mouth.
He was confident in everything he did which made me relax, completely taking the lead but I didn’t mind. Jake made this feel easier than it should be and I enjoyed that, a lot. Everything he did, he asked if I was okay. Checking up on me to make sure that I wasn’t in pain or if we should stop.
This wasn’t helping my current situation because I was completely falling for him. Knowing how cold and blunt he was to me when we first met, thinking about how far we’ve come and how I am currently naked in his bed.
Never would I have thought that this was a possibility but it was and I was devouring every second of it.
Laying my head down onto the pillow beside him, Jake panting slowly as he pulls his covers up and over us. He turns to me slowly and smiles. “I felt like that time went a lot better,” he says quietly, his hand removing a piece of hair dangling in front of my eyes.
I hum and nod. “Agreed,” I say with a smile. “It’s still a bit uncomfortable but it felt better than last time.”
“I’m glad,” he lets out a breath taking grin.
“My dad is going to kill us if he finds out what’s been happening between us,” I sigh before rubbing my eyes harshly.
Jake’s lips fall at my words. “Yeah I know my mom won’t be best pleased either, I reckon my dad won’t kick off that much but I know they’re going to be annoyed.”
“Have you spoke to them about how you feel?”
His eyes find mine but they instantly glass over, like he doesn’t want to talk about this conversation but I knew how much it was hurting him inside. Whatever it is, his wolf, his connection to the werewolf world. Something inside him is hurting him deeply and I wished that he could speak about it.
“I can’t,” is what he says.
“Okay,” I nod once. Never would I attempt to dictate his life or tell him what to do, I guess when the time is right he will speak to them.
“This,” he starts of slowly, his eyes flicking between mine. “This, what we’ve been doing and hanging out. It’s helped me a lot, more than you could understand.”
I shuffle closer to him in the bed and reach out for his hand, clutching onto him tightly. “I wish you would open up to me more but I get why you don’t. I know how hard it is, I remember being pushed to talk to therapists and god knows who else when I was younger.”
Jake’s dark eyes watch me carefully as I talk. “Being pushed isn’t the right thing to do, at all. But talking to someone you trust could help you, and I’d like to think you can trust me. I honestly think the world of you Jake and seeing you like this hurts, I’ve never felt like this about someone.”
His hand clutches onto the back of my head and pulls me closer, his lips pressing against mine softly. Warm and comforting, I melt into his hold as he kisses me slowly. My stomach flipping in all sorts of directions and my toes tingling lightly.
Eventually he pulls away but our lips remain close. His eyes soften as they admire my face, trailing over every little detail. “I do trust you,” he whispers against me. “I just can’t even gather my own thoughts together sometimes, let alone trying to explain it to someone.”
“I know,” I agree before pressing my lips to his again. “It’s okay, but if you do want to talk about it. I will always be here.”
He smiles and closes his eyes for a split second, his mouth opening to speak but just as he does the front door lock turns. The sound of Zara talking loudly echoes through the house. “Shit,” I say with wide eyes, jumping out of his bed.
Picking up my clothes from the floor, Jake drastically trying to get dressed as quickly as possible. “We need to shower,” I say under a hushed breath. Cracking his door open and running down the hall to the bathroom naked.
Safely making it into the shower, slamming the door shut behind me and drenching myself in shower wash. I am not having my ass whooped today, that’s for sure.