Time passed but the day wasn’t going quick enough, I wanted to feel angry but I genuinely didn’t have any emotions. Like I was a blank canvas and nothing was sparking inside of me to express how I was feeling.
Really, I was concerned about Myla. I knew how much Caleb had hurt her last night and yet he still talks to her like she’s nothing. I didn’t even want to know what my dad and Caleb were saying right now, bitching about us most probably.
When the sun set I decided to get up and get some food, a burning hole in my head triggering an oncoming headache. Zara and Felix were sat at the dinner table, clearing talking between mindlink so that no one could hear them.
Averting my gaze and opening the fridge, feeling their stares on me.
“Jake,” my mom breathes out softly. “Let’s talk.”
I push my tongue into the side of my cheek and slowly rotate round to them, trying to ignore the deathly glare that my dad was currently giving me.
“What is there to talk about?” I mumble bluntly. “We’re not going to talk, you’re just going to shove your beliefs down my throat. Tell me how much I’m fucking up my life and that I should do what the ‘werewolf’ world is telling me to do!”
My mom blinks back at my sudden outburst. “Jake please we ar—”
“No Jake,” my dads voice roars, cutting the room into silence. “We have told you since birth how important this is to you, to us! If you don’t want to be part of the werewolf world then fine, but this is one part of you that will stay with you forever. If you don’t find your mate Jake, you’ll end up lonely and depressed. No matter how much you believe someone else can fill that hole!”
“How about the fact that my wolf is dying inside of me dad?” My voice raises above his, watching as his eyebrows fall at my rough tone. “How about the fact that I already feel dead as it is inside?”
“Jake,” my mom shakes her head, tears building up in her eyes.
“You know nothing about how I feel!” My throat clenches. “All you care about is what you think is right. Well this isn’t right for me dad. My wolf is dying! I have no feeling of a mate, or what a mate would feel like. When I’m with Myla he isn’t even jealous or sad, he’s nothing. He feels nothing.”
My dad stares back at me for a moment, his hand clenching onto the chair behind him.
“But Myla is the first person in my life who has made me feel like I’m normal.” I drop my voice slightly, the atmosphere turning tense and it made my stomach churn. “I don’t have to pretend to be anything when I’m with her, I already feel like I’m me.”
“So what are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I don’t have a mate dad, my wolf doesn’t have a mate. Whoever they are, they’re either dead or they never existed. There is a massive hole in my heart but it isn’t because of me, it’s because of my wolf.” My voice becomes harsh, tightening my fists at my side.
Both my mom and my dad share a quick glance, my mom wiping away the tears that have struck down her face. My breathing becoming heavier, the last thing I wanted to do was upset her.
“Mom, please don’t cry.” I say as I drop my head into my hands.
“W-Why didn’t you speak to us Jake?” She sobs out. “We are your parents, we want to help you and to understand you.”
“Because I felt like I couldn’t, I never felt like I had the right to tell you how I felt about my wolf.” My hands shake as I look away from them both.
My dad clears his throat, turning my attention back to him. “Then we need to take you to see the elders, try and fix your wolf or something. See if there is anyway that a mate bond can be connected with another wolf.”
“Dad, are you listening to a word I’m saying?!” I shout out angrily, my lips clamping together. Not wanting to release of fury.
“Felix,” my mom warns my dad, slowly shaking her head towards him. “Don’t do this now.”
“You are a werewolf Jake, you cannot change that.” He stands his ground, his arms folding over his chest, looking down at me like I should know better.
“I still have the right to be happy.” I state loudly, knowing this was the most important thing in life.
My dads eyes flick between mine, a rage of frustration clear in his vision but I didn’t care what he thought. Why do parents think they can tell their children what to do?
“Myla!” Evan’s voice shoots through the house from upstairs, a soft banging on the door. “Please open the door my love, lets talk.”
“Myla!” Caleb’s tone booms over Evan’s, making the walls shake. “Open the goddamn door now before I kick it down.”
“Shut up Caleb, that is not going to help this situation.” Evan grumbles out. “Myla please, we just want to talk.”
A feeling in my chest grows, concern about whether or not she was okay. The sound of the door being broken into rumbles through the house, Caleb clearly ripping it off the door hinges. Then they both curse loudly before hurrying down the stairs.
Evan’s eyes looked frantic as he turns to me, pulling out his phone and attempting to call her. “Have you seen Myla at all?” He rushes towards me. “She’s not in her room, the window was wide open.”
“I haven’t heard from her,” I admit.
“It’s getting late,” Evan chews on his lip as the phone rings out, without an answer. “Shit.”
Caleb comes storming down the stairs, emphasising how heavy he was on his feet with every step. “I knew this would happen,” he grumbles out.
“You knew this would happen?” Evan says in disbelief, his mouth hanging open slightly. “This is completely your fault!”
“My fault?” Caleb recoils like he was slapped.
“You’ve been pushing her away ever since we moved here, I have no idea who you’re trying to impress or show off too but you’re acting like a massive dick. And I never thought I’d have to say that about you.” Evan takes a slow step away from him, shaking his head in disappointment.
Caleb’s eyes fall sad at Evan’s words, clearly hurt from the truth. “Maybe you guys should give her space,” I let out, the tone of my voice coming out a lot more bitchy than intended.
“Maybe you shouldn’t tell me how to parent,” Caleb spits at me, frustration in his stance.
“Parent?” I laugh sarcastically. “She heard you guys talking.”
Evan’s eyes shoot towards me. “What?”
Turning my attention back to Caleb who is watching me carefully. “When you said that she hasn’t improved your lives at all, that adopting her was a mistake, that you just cannot seem to get along with her.”
“Oh my God,” Evan’s hands clutch to his face, a look of sheer panic.
“You’ve really pushed her away this time,” my voice dips as Caleb never looks away from me. “Because she has never felt this unwanted in her life after hearing you speak about her like that.”
Evan sobs out, shaking his hands in front of him. “Oh my God, we need to find her. We need to find her right now.”
Caleb’s eyes eventually move from mine, he looks down to the floor. Almost like he was hanging his head in shame, as he should. Evan approaches him and nudges his side, they share a quick glance. “Do you see what you’ve done?” Evan chokes out painfully to Caleb.
“Jake can you ring her,” Caleb’s voice croaks, never have I heard him sound so quiet.
I chew on the inside of my lip. “And what if she doesn’t want to see you?”
He sighs, his shoulders sinking even lower. “Just to see if she’s okay, she doesn’t have to come back if she doesn’t want to. She can have as much space as she needs.”
Reaching into my pocket and ringing her number, listening to the dialling tone before it cuts off instantly. Realising that her phone must be switched off or dead, this really wasn’t ideal.
“Her phones off,” I say as I quickly text Remy and Emily to see if they’ve seen her. “I’ll ask my friends if they know where she is.”
Evan sighs deeply. “How have we fucked up as parents so bad?” He mumbles out before looking up to the ceiling.
Caleb takes a few steps to Evan and reaches out for him, gently rubbing on his arm. “I’m sorry,” he whispers.
“It’s not me you should be saying sorry to,” Evan grounds out angrily, his eyes red from crying.
“No I owe you an apology too,” Caleb instantly shakes his head, dismissive of himself. Reaching up to wipe away his rogue tears. “I’ve been spiteful to you and to Myla these last couple weeks. I’m sorry. I will fix this, I will fix our family.”
“It might be too late,” Evan responds harshly. “The damage is done, we broke her trust.”
“You didn’t do anything,” Caleb lowers his head to the floor. “This is all me, I need to regain her trust. I need to fix this, this is my fault, you’re right.”
“What is going on Caleb?” Evan shakes his head towards him. “You are not the man I married.”
Caleb’s eyes cloud over with what I interpreted as guilt. “Shit is just going on in my mind, I feel out of control.”
“Out of control?” Evan repeats desperately. “So you push our daughter away?”
“What I was saying to you last night wasn’t coming out right,” Caleb digs his thumb and finger into his eyes, frustrated by the situation. “I never intended for her to hear, you know how bad I am at articulating myself. I didn’t mean any of the things I said, I’ve just been struggling with the bond and you know that. I was just angry at myself, so I took it out on her. It was uncalled for. I know.”
“It still doesn’t make it right Caleb,” Evan folds his arms across his chest angrily.
“I know,” Caleb clenches his eyes shut. “I wish I could go back and change what I said but I can’t.”
My phone buzzes in my hands, both Emily and Remy telling me that they haven’t seen or heard from her. A painful pang in my heart almost jolts me, the thought of not knowing where she was or who she was with. She didn’t really know anyone else in this town, where would she know where to go?
“Myla’s not with our friends,” I say, breaking them from their deep conversation.
“Fuck,” Evan curses under his breath.
My mum approaches us from behind and latches onto the side of my arm. “Lets just see if she comes home tonight, if not then tomorrow we will go out and look for her. Okay?”
Evan turns to my mom quickly and nods. “Thanks Zara,” he rubs his nose. “I just hope she’s okay.”
“She’s tough,” I say, catching both Caleb and Evan by surprise. “She knows what she’s doing, maybe she just needed time away from this manic place. I don’t doubt that she’s okay, I know how strong she is.”
If anything I was saying these words to convince myself, I know exactly what it feels like to be out of control of your feelings and just wanting to run away. She wouldn’t do anything stupid, I knew that for sure. But I felt nauseous thinking about where she could be, hoping that she was wise enough to take herself to some hotel to spend the night, rather on the streets.
Caleb’s eyes soften at my words. “You’re right,” he nods. “She is tough and strong.”
“Will you let us know if you hear anything from her?” Evan takes slow, steady steps towards me. “I know she’s not going to want to hear from me or Caleb, but just so we know that she’s safe.”
“Of course,” I tell him. He offers me a smile but I know how much pain he is in, worrying about Myla’s safety. “I really think she’s just using this as time to herself. She was really hurt by what happened and I don’t blame her for not wanting to be here and in this situation.”
The room turns silent for a few moments, Caleb attempting to comfort Evan. “No I can’t do it,” he says after a few moments, his hands wailing around in front of his face. “If I don’t go out there and look for her tonight, I’ll never forgive myself. And I don’t care if I have to go alone.” He says loudly before grabbing onto his jacket.
Caleb scurries to follow his lead. “Okay, I’ll come with you.”
Evan turns to him for a split second. “I’m not coming back until we’ve found her.”
The door slams and then I realise I’m back alone with my parents, not wanting to get an earful from my dad about ‘rekindling’ my mate bond.
My mom releases my arm and kisses me on the cheek. “I’m sorry if you’ve ever felt like you can’t talk to me.” She whispers quietly. “That was never my intention.”
A deep sigh runs from my chest as I turn to my mom and pull her into me, wrapping my arms around her. “I’ve just been struggling a bit,” I admit as I lean my chin onto the top of her head. “But you’re always so invested with Aria and her problems, I never felt like there was time for me to speak about mine.”
Pulling away from me, gripping onto the sides of my arms. “Jake, I don’t care if there was an earthquake and the world turned into an apocalypse, just because other things are going on doesn’t mean you can’t talk to us about what’s going on in your life.”
Closing my eyes and inhaling shortly. “Well you guys know now.” I say quietly, turning to my dad who was staring down directly at the kitchen table.
“And we are here for you, whatever you want to do. Whatever makes you happy, we support you.” My mom rubs her hand up and down my back gently.
Noticing that my dad still hadn’t looked at me once. “Right, sure.” I say, annoyance clear in my voice. “Least one of you actually cares about my wellbeing rather than stupid tradition.”
Moving away from my mother and taking myself up the stairs, hearing my mom sigh stressfully from behind me. Today has been a day from hell and I never wanted to relive it.