When I woke up the next morning I didn’t want to get out of bed, there was no reason to. I didn’t want to run into Caleb or Jake for that matter, it was like I needed to sort my head out first. Maybe I was being selfish but I couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt, the emotion striking my body in strange ways.
My stomach growls loudly and I knew I needed to go downstairs and get some food or I would literally starve, having not eaten much over the last two days whilst I wasn’t here.
Just to my surprise Caleb was sat at the kitchen island nursing a hot cup of coffee, staring straight ahead at the wall in front of him.
“Hi,” I say lightly, catching his attention as he places down his mug.
He turns to me, his eyes red and bags heavy. You could tell he hadn’t had much sleep but to be honest, neither had I.
“Good morning,” he smiles in my direction, noticing how bloodshot his eyes already were. “How are you?”
My shoulders shrug as I stroll to the fridge and yank at the handle. “So-so,” I grumble as I search for something to eat.
“Same,” Caleb sighs from behind me, for a few moments I continuously stare at the food in the fridge that wasn’t going to make itself. “Do you want me to make you something?”
Turning slowly around to him, his eyes open and eager. “No,” I shake my head, hating how stubborn I am.
“Are you sure?” He says softly. “I could make you waffles with your favourite toppings.”
I wanted to say something petty in response to being bought by materialistic things but I decide better, we don’t need more tension. “Dad makes them better,” I say bluntly.
Caleb’s mouth falls open. “Are you joking?”
“No,” I say with a shake of my head.
“He only learnt how to make them from Zara who originally taught me, if anything our waffles should be the exact same.” Caleb defends himself as he stands from the stool and places his cup into the sink.
“Well make the best waffles ever then,” I shrug and Caleb stares back at me, opening the cupboard and taking out all the resources needed.
“Fine, I will.”
I nod at him and pour myself some water, the room settling in a strange silence. “I appreciate how mature you are Myla.” Caleb says after a few moments, beating all of the ingredients into a bowl.
“There’s no point in being salty,” I sigh as I lean onto the kitchen island with my forearms. “That won’t get us anywhere.”
“I think I need to take a leaf out of your book,” he says with a subtle laugh. “You’re more like the adult and I’m the child.”
I snort unattractively. “Too right,” I agree.
“I really want you to understand that what I said was a severe exaggeration of how I felt,” Caleb says as he turns to me. “My wolf has just been playing up recently and I’m sorry, I never meant to say what I said so harshly.”
“Then tell me what you meant to say,” I bite back instantly.
He stops what he’s doing and shifts round to me, leaning back on the counter. His hand swiping across his forehead, letting out a deep breath. “I knew you were lying to me when you said nothing was happening between you and Jake,” he tells me and I shuffle between my feet. “When Evan kept taking your side I just hit the roof and I hate myself for it.”
“And it was rude of me to snap at you about the cat, we were just having a such a deep conversation that something inside of me cracked and I don’t know why I did it.” He shakes his head to the floor.
My eyes continue to watch him, not backing away from this situation. “My wolf constantly gives me a hard time knowing that Evan and I couldn’t have children, I don’t want to blame my wolf but their emotions are so overpowering that I can’t help but get angry. Especially to you because we don’t have that bond and I’m trying my hardest to stop that from happening again.”
“And I know you’re probably thinking that your dad doesn’t act like this towards you and the short answer is, he’s just a better person than I am. I’ve always been a cold and hateful person. I ruin everything.”
“But this isn’t you dad,” I breathe out, my head beginning to shake. “I know we’ve had our moments but all I remember growing up was happiness, from you and from dad. I had the happiest childhood because of you guys.”
Caleb closes his eyes. “What I was trying to say that night was because of the non-existent bond, we have struggled to get along, we both can admit that. I think our personalities are so similar that we rub each other up the wrong way, we were destined to clash. That night I just snapped and I’m not proud of it. It was like my mind was possessed by my wolf and I said things that I didn’t even remotely mean.”
“You hurt me,” I say quietly.
His eyes glass over with guilt, I could physically see it. “And I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to forgive myself for it. I wish I could have been a better father for you Myla, I really do.”
“Maybe you need to deal with whatever is going on in your mind,” I tell him. “I know that person who said all those things isn’t you. You’re still the same person who dressed up with me as Cinderella when I was nine, you’re still the same person who would wait at the school gates an hour early just to make sure I got home okay, you’re still the same person who went into the principles office and gave them a piece of your mind when you found out those girls were picking on me.”
Caleb’s lips twitch up into a smile as he listens to me speak. “You’ve been a good dad to me, I just have no idea what’s been going on lately. Maybe you need to speak to dad or therapy or something.”
He nods at my words. “I definitely have a lot to address in my mind,” he exhales sharply. “Who knew my daughter would be giving me advice?” He smiles to himself before turning back around to the waffle mix behind him.
Chewing onto my lip as none of us say anything further, the sound of a whisk grazing the glass bowl bouncing off the walls. “When I turned eighteen did you want me to move out?”
Caleb turns to me suddenly, his expression unreadable. He drops the bowl onto the work top and brushes his hands against his sweatpants. “No, not at all.” His voice stretches out his words as he speaks. “Why would you think that?”
“I just wasn’t sure if you would want me to stick around in you guys lives once I got to the age of being able to move out and live on my own.” I admit as I pick at the skin on my fingers, trying to not look at Caleb.
“I might have said some awful things but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you here with us, you could live with us for the rest of your life and we wouldn’t care. I mean I’d like to hope we’d drive you crazy so you would move out by the time you’re thirty.” Caleb exhales a smile, he was right. There was no way I’d want to be here when I was thirty, we would have definitely killed each other by then no doubt.
“I don’t plan on being here for that long,” I tell him.
“Well even if you are, it doesn’t matter. We are a family and there will always be a place for you to stay if you wanted to come back home, our doors are always open.” Caleb’s eyes soften as he picks up the whisk and continues to create the batter.
“Thanks dad,” I breathe out, earning a side glance from him. His lips remaining with a firm smile, I knew deep down he was trying. I’ve always known Caleb has been a difficult person, anyone can see it but I guess not everyone is going to think the same as you and you have to respect their ways of life.
If he says what he means, he will continue to treat me like his daughter. No shitty digs over stupid things or unneeded arguments, I just wanted peace now. We both deserved that.
. . .
By the time the weekend came I felt exhausted, I had worked an awful lot, just time away from the house. Remy wasn’t working which made my shifts ten thousand times longer but least I was earning money, enough to save and put away.
On Saturday morning Remy rung me saying that she wanted to know if I was coming out tonight, I didn’t know what she was talking about or what they had planned. Emily’s sister’s friend was throwing a party on their private land and we were welcome to go, after last weekend I couldn’t even think of alcohol the same.
So I politely decline, wanting a quiet weekend to myself. Remy begs for me to come but I tell her that I won’t be much fun and I’ll see them another time. So instead I spend the evening in my room watching Netflix and doing nothing at all.
A soft knock at my door averts my attention and press pause on the laptop. “Yeah?” I call, watching as Evan peeks his head around my door.
“Hi my love,” he says softly as he stands in the doorway.
“Hi,” I smile towards him.
“Dad told me how well you dealt with speaking to him earlier and I just wanted to say that I’m really proud.” He nods towards me enthusiastically as he holds onto the door hinge.
“Just being civil,” I say back.
“I’m just pleased that you can be so mature, I don’t know where my little daughter has gone.” He grins brightly at me, his eyes shining slightly. “You used to be so little and innocent, now you’re like a full blown adult. I can’t believe it.”
My eyes watch him as he speaks, almost getting choked up by it. “Stop being so soppy,” I say with a dramatic eyeroll.
“I’m sorry,” Evan shakes his head. “I just wish I could rewind and go back so that I could spend more time with you.”
“We still can make more memories dad, there is plenty of time.”
“You’re right,” he agrees before smiling. “Anyway, I’ll leave you to whatever you’re watching. Goodnight my love.”
“Night dad,” I call out as he shuts the door leaving me alone again.
Settling back down into my pillows and pressing the space bar on my mac, trying to get back into the series I just started. Crime documentary on a serial killer, the perfect kind of Saturday night watch.
At quarter to ten my phone starts to vibrate, Remy’s name flashing up on my screen. I didn’t want to answer but something in the pit of my stomach made me click on the green symbol, raising my phone to my ear.
“Hey,” I say attempting to sound tired before she forces me to come out again.
“Myla,” Remy says, the sound of her voice slightly panicked. “I really need your help, Jake is like stupidly fucked. I think he’s taken something and he’s just all over the place. Carter and Zack have fucked off somewhere to get more weed and I really need to get him home. He isn’t in a good way at all.”
“Oh fucking hell,” I curse quietly.
“What’s your address again so I can put him in a cab? I mean we aren’t too far from you actually.”
“I’ll come to you, send me wherever you’re at.”
“It’s not far from you at all,” Remy rushes before texting me the address. The sound of the party echoing through the phone in the background.
“Okay I’ll be like ten minutes,” I say before cutting off the call and throwing on some appropriate clothes.
Grabbing my phone and my jacket sliding it onto my arms, catching Caleb as I walk down the stairs. “You okay?” He questions as his eyes glance over my clothes.
“Yeah I’m just going to Emily’s,” I wave towards him before heading to the door, exiting swiftly.
Bringing my feet to a slow jog as I keep an eye on the directions on my phone, not having a clue where I was going. Considering it was almost ten, it wasn’t completely dark yet. That was the perks of it being summer.
I could hear music thumping from almost a mile away, Emily’s house was huge and people constantly flowing in and out of the side gate. Slipping past a couple of people who were stumbling and smoking, keeping my eyes peeled for Jake or Remy.
There was a massive bonfire in the yard, people drinking from red solo cups, laughing and dancing. Yet I couldn’t see anyone anywhere. Dragging my phone out from my pocket and attempting to ring Remy but every time it goes directly to voicemail, cursing as I make my way through the house.
Most of the people here were a lot older than me, definitely those who were in college or at least twenty and above. The party didn’t seem as messy as Remy’s, guess they’ve had their chance to make awful mistakes whilst drunk.
Catching my eye with Emily, stood next to another girl that looked incredibly similar to her. “Emily!” I shout out as I make my way over to her.
Her dark eyes find mine and she stares back at me in shock. “Myla? I thought you weren’t coming.” She shakes her head at me as she pulls me into a hug.
I ignore her comment. “Have you seen Jake?” I rush quickly.
Her eyes widen before she nods. “Yeah I saw him go upstairs with Roxi,” she says with a wide grin. “It was inevitable it was going to happen, you know?”
My eyes narrow towards her. “Remy said that he was stupidly fucked?”
Emily shrugs. “I don’t know about that, I haven’t seen him like all night. Not even sure where Carter and Zack are either.” She sighs before taking a big sip of her drink.
Pulling back from her and attempting to find the stairs, moving past people who were positioned between the steps. “Excuse me,” I call as I stomp past them and up to the top floor.
Poking my head between the doors, not convinced that Jake would really be out here sleeping with someone else after last weekend. But at the same time, I didn’t have a say in what he wanted to do. I just felt concerned, especially if he was really fucked.
Right at the end of the hall, the only door that was completely shut. Pressing my ear to the door to hear any voices but the vibrations of the music were taking over all my senses. Dropping down onto my knees and looking through the key hole, darting around the room instantly.
Jake was completely passed out on the bed, Roxi over him attempting to pull off his pants, shoving her hands down into his boxers. Jake grunts, incapable of pushing her off. Roxi mumbles something but I couldn’t hear what she says, alarming me instantly.
So I force my way into the room with my shoulder almost ripping the door off the hinges, watching as Roxi turns to me in shock, my eyes finding Jake as he lays unconscious on the bed. “Hey man, get the fuck out.” She yells like I wasn’t doing to beat the shit out of her.
Bubbles rise in my stomach, my fists tensing painfully at the sight of her trying to take advantage of him like this. Roxi pushes herself up from the bed and stares me down but I was ready to release a storm on her. “I said get the fuck out.” She points to the door before crossing her arms over her chest.
“If you wanna suck someone’s dick, suck mine you bitch.” I growl out before pulling back my fist and swinging it through her face, she stumbles back, shocked by what just happened. Tripping over a pair of shoes that were behind her as she tries to stabilise herself.
She falls onto her ass and clutches her nose in her hands, blood seeping out between her fingers. “What the fuck?” She cries out, her eyes floating over her bloodied hands.
“Now get out before I break your neck,” I yell, my throat scratching at how high I spoke.
Roxi’s eyes cloud with tears, falling onto her hands and knees and crawling out of the room before she darts downstairs.
Rushing to Jake’s side and grabbing his face. “Jake,” I whisper. “Hey, Jake.”
He grunts, his eyes firmly shut. He stunk of alcohol and weed, I didn’t even want to know what he had taken tonight. Something bad to get in this kind of state.
Ringing Remy again, trying to find out where the fuck she was. After the sixth ring she picks up. “Hey Myla I’m so sorry,” she pants, sounding like she’s running.
“What’s going on?”
“The fucking drug dealers mugged Carter and Zack bolted, it’s fucking carnage. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to just leave, are you at the party? I’m almost back.” She pants out as her voice crackles through the phone slightly.
“Shit is he okay?” I ask as my hand clutches onto Jake’s even though he couldn’t feel me.
“Yeah he’s just livid, not like he can even go to the police about it.” Remy grumbles. “Are you with Jake?”
“I’m with Jake now,” I tell her. “I just want to get him home. He’s fully passed out and I don’t want to leave him.”
“Okay. I’m on my way. Where are you?”
“Upstairs in the end bedroom, I’ll explain all another time. I need to get him out of here.”
“Coming up the stairs now.”
. . .