I had made my mind up for myself but confiding in my mother was also just as important to me, she knew dad the best out of anyone and her opinion mattered to me. Explaining to her how I felt and what I wanted to do was a struggle, it was like I had gone behind her back and made this decision myself.
But my mom isn’t annoyed at me, she hugged me then cried. Her eyes were slumped like she hadn’t slept a wink, her skin paler than usual and I could tell she was trying to keep it together for the sake of Aria and I.
She pulls back and holds my face between her hands, her eyes shining with fresh tears. “Jake, I want you to do whatever will make you feel you again.” She nods towards me before pursing her lips.
“But what about dad?”
Raising her hand to wipe away her tears, leaning forward to press a kiss to my forehead. “Dad would have wanted the same.” She says as she grips onto my hands tightly. “We both know he was stubborn as shit but he would have hated knowing that you were miserable and there was something you could do about it.”
My lips part as I listen to her speak, my heart feeling some warmth.
“You and Aria are all I’ve got left and I will do anything to make you guys the happiest you can be, I can’t lose you too.” Her voice is caught in her throat, lips trembling at the thought. “I can’t.”
Wrapping my arms around her as she cries into my neck. “You’re not going to lose us too mom, I promise.” I mumble into her curly hair.
“I just want you to be happy, I don’t care about anything else.” She says quietly into my t-shirt, her chest pressing against mine as she attempts to breathe.
“I love you mom,” I whisper to her.
Her body crumbles in my arms, a stream of tears escaping her eyes and falling onto the fabric of my t-shirt. “I love you so much Jake,” she looks up to me, her cheeks stained with wetness. “Never forget that.”
Whilst I looked in her eyes, her whole world looked broken, for the first time they didn’t look vibrant and full. She looked lost and defeated, that feeling of losing a mate. I felt like I could relate on the smallest scale, having lived with my wolf missing his mate for the whole of my life. That dull ache that never goes away, the constant headaches that drive you insane, the lack of available emotions.
Thinking about how crushing it would have been if I knew my mate before they passed, connecting on an emotional level must cause so much pain when they are no longer with us.
. . .
Knocking onto Myla’s door softly, waiting for her to invite me in. As her little voice rings through the walls I push down on the handle and swing the door open. She was laying on her front on her bed, head leaning on her fists, feet kicking up in the air.
Her dark blue eyes glance up at me, a strand of red hair falling past her cheek, a book in front of her against the white bed sheets. She smiles, the corners of her lips twitching up into a breath-taking expression. Her delicate hand pushes away her hair and watches me carefully.
“Hey,” she beams up at me. “You okay?”
I hum and nod towards her, not being able to take my eyes away from her beauty. “I’m going,” I breathe out.
Her eyebrow creases in confusion, shutting the book in front of her. “Going where?” She asks.
“To see the elders, to have my wolf removed.”
Myla’s big eyes widen further than I’ve ever seen them, she jumps off the bed in less than a second and makes her way over to me. “Are you going right now?” She questions as she stops directly in front of me.
“Can I come?” Her light eyelashes flutter up to me.
“That’s why I came here to tell you,” I say as I shove my hands into my hoodie pocket. “I want you to come with me.”
Her eyes light up instantly and she nods. “Yes, I want to come with you. I want to be there for you.” She says with a wide grin, making my heart skip a beat.
My hand grazes the side of her jaw and I drop my head down to her lips, leaving a lingering kiss. Inside I felt good, content but I knew I should be feeling more. Butterflies and nerves, feeling giddy and tongue tied. Not wanting to wait anymore for my wolf to be removed, I wanted to have Myla close to me and feel nothing but love and comfort.
“What?” Myla says against my lips as she stares back at me, not realising I had just gone into my own head.
“I’m excited to feel like a normal teenager who has a girlfriend,” I admit as I hold her face closer to mine. “I know for a fact my heart is going to explode once this weight has lifted off my shoulders.”
“Why will it explode?” She questions curiously.
My lips curve at her naivety. “Because of you,” I say, watching as she blinks back at me. She swallows nervously which only causes me to kiss her again. “Let’s go.”
Myla takes my hand and follows me out of her bedroom, grabbing my keys off the side and getting into my car. “How far are they?” Myla questions as she plugs in her seatbelt.
“Three hours or so,” I say as I jam my keys into the engine and start the car. “We’ll stop off and get snacks.”
“Good because I’m fucking starving,” she exhales as she rests her elbow onto the side of the car.
I can’t help but smile over to her, gripping onto her knee gently. “Don’t worry, we’ll keep you fed.”
. . .
Myla’s face when we drove up into the mountains, through the tall trees and into unknown territory. Her eyes glued to the windows as she looked out at the beautiful scenery, murmuring things as she stared back at nature.
“So these people know you’re coming?” She asks as she whips her head around to me.
I nod as I rest my hand on the edge of the steering wheel. “Yeah I told them I’d come back today if I wanted to have it done.”
Myla sucks her perfectly pink bottom lip into her mouth as she watches me. “So how do you know about them?”
“Thank your dad,” I smirk towards her and she twists her head.
“Yeah,” I nod. “Caleb has a lot of connections, he says they’re the most powerful and wise elders in our werewolf district. They’re pretty cool.”
“So this spell or whatever it is,” Myla fidgets in her seat to turn herself to me. “How are they going to do it?”
“I don’t know, your guess is as good as mine.”
“I hope it works, I hope it doesn’t harm you in anyway.” She says as she sighs, glancing out of the window.
Glancing over at her concerned face, brows pulled down into a harsh frown. “I’m sure it’ll be okay,” I tell her as I reach over to grip her shoulder.
“I hope so.” She continues to nod.
As we reach the top of the mountain, grabbing a jumper from the back of my car and throwing it over to Myla. “Thank you,” she says gratefully, her arms sliding through the holes and pulling it over her small body.
Both exiting the car, Myla instantly joins to my side and links her arm through mine. Instantly glancing between the little cottages that looked like they were made hundreds of years ago. “Wow,” she comments. “It’s like a whole little community.”
“Completely,” I agree.
“Jake, my dear!” My name is called from across the way, an old frail lady walking towards us with a thick wooden stick.
“Nice to see you again Constance,” I smile towards her. Her tanned skin wrinkled at the side of her face as she smiles. “This is my girlfriend Myla, Caleb’s daughter.”
Constance’s eyes rotate to Myla as she waves at her. “Hi, so lovely to meet you.” She says brightly, as Constance examines her.
“Nice to meet you too my dear,” she smiles, showing her slightly rotting teeth. “Come, come. Loretta is here and she’s ready to start when you are!”
My head turns to Myla and she gives me a stern nod, squeezing our hands between each others and following Constance towards a tepee tent at the back of their little village. I allow Myla to go first as she ducks her head into the space, a woman sat by a pot that was heated underneath, tattoos and tribal symbols covered her skin.
Her dark eyes meet mine as Constance closes the navy tent behind us. “Jake I presume,” she says as she lifts her chin towards me.
“Yes,” I nod towards her.
“Come sit down in front of me,” she says as she points across the pot and towards a decorative pillow the other side.
Myla gently lets go of my hand and press a kiss to the edge of her hair, watching as she takes a step back, allowing us space.
Following Loretta’s orders and sitting across from her, her eyes captivating me in a state like trance. The energy changed the second I walked into the space, my body feeling like it was floating amongst a different universe.
The warmth from the fire covering me in a heat I had never felt before. Loretta doesn’t say anything but continues to stare back at me, the whites of her eyes bulging slightly. “The air needs to be cleansed,” she comments, her voice sending a shiver down my spine.
My heart beats rapidly, tension in the air beginning to build, raising goose bumps along the skin on my arms. Loretta closes her eyes and she inhales a loud breath, alarming me slightly. Her hands raise up her body before she pushes it out harshly, her eyes snapping open to mine.
“The air is settled,” she murmurs out.
“Okay,” I nod towards her.
“Once this spell has been made, it cannot be reversed. You’re completely aware of that?” She asks as she puts together three bowls in front of her.
“Yes I know,” I say.
Her lips swish from one side to the other. “There might be complications,” she raises an eyebrow at me.
“Complications?” Myla comments, our attention turning to her as she sits in a chair on the edge of the tent.
“Myla,” I say quietly and she closes her mouth. “It’s okay.”
She lets out a breath that I knew she was holding and I turn back to Loretta.
“What are the complications?”
Loretta’s spine curves slightly before she sits up right, her hands pressing to her thighs. “There are possibilities that your wolf might leave everlasting damage onto your body and your soul. It is unlikely but there needs to be some form of warning before we go through with this.”
I shake my head to her. “I want to do it,” I say confidently.
“Okay,” she says before taking out a small knife from a leather cover. “Give me your palm.”
My hand reaches out to her and place it between her rough hands, she drops the knife to my skin and slices it across me. For a second I wince but recover, the crimson droplets rolling off my hand and into the pot between us. Sizzling the second it hits the bowl.
She then wipes the blood off the knife and does the same to herself, my eyes looking over her skin that had multiple scars across her palm. Her blood drops down into the pot and she wraps her hand up in a cloth, shoving me something similar.
Watching carefully as she takes one of the bowls in front of us and throws in a bunch of herbs, once they hit the heat an aroma spins through the room. My fingers begin to tingle and the back of my neck feels whipped by some kind of force.
Loretta begins to chant out loud, her voice gradually becoming stronger and forceful. The same few words over and over, noticing how the tent begins to shake. My eyes glance down to the pot between us, our blood crackling and splatting against the granite bowl.
My breath beginning to get taken away, Loretta begins to scream out the words. Her teeth grinding together before opening her mouth wide, letting everyone in the village hear.
She snaps her eyes open and looks directly at me, her hand reaching out across the pot and holding her hand towards my heart. Feeling paralysed as she keeps me in place, trying to move but I was completely restricted.
My head begins to pierce with a deafening scream, causing for me to cry out and hold my hands to the side of my head. Hearing Loretta’s voice in my mind somehow, like she had crept up into my body and taken control of my soul.
Attempting to look up at the tip of the tent, my eyes falling heavy and my chest tight. My fists tighten as I fight to stay awake but my mind turns blank, darkness swarms me and I’m out before I even hit the floor.
. . .
My tongue felt like I had a million pins stuck inside it, my whole body sore and tender to move. A cold flannel is pressed to my forehead and I attempt to open my eyes. Myla was leaning over me, her lips parted as he pats the cloth around my face.
“Hey,” she says with a soft smile. “You fucking scared me.”
“He’s gonna be out of it for half hour or so,” Loretta comments as she kneels down beside Myla. “You’re gonna be in a bit of pain but once that’s over you should start to feel normal again, wolfless this time.”
Attempting to nod my head towards her but my neck physically couldn’t move. “How do you feel?” Myla questions as she runs her fingers down the curve of my cheek.
“Sore,” I croak out.
Loretta nods between us. “I’ll give you some time to yourselves, let me know if you need anything.”
“Thanks Loretta,” Myla smiles up to her gratefully.
Once we are alone Myla looks down to me again. “I never want to see you pass out like that again,” she comments.
My lips form a small smile, I loved how much she cared. Noticing how my heart begun to spread with warmth rather than feeling ice cold, slowly managing to move my pinky fingers.
For the next twenty minutes I rest, neither of us saying anything but Myla didn’t leave my side once.
When I have the strength to push myself up from the floor, my hands reaching up to cup Myla’s cheeks. Holding her forehead to mine.
“I can feel it,” I choke out, my throat tensing tightly at the sensations that were rushing through my body.
“The pain in my heart, it’s gone.” I whisper out, Myla’s blue eyes widening at me before grinning widely.
“Jake,” she shakes her head and holds me closer, our lips pressing together softly.
My stomach felt warm, my heart whole and my hands on fire. Never have I felt so much in such a short space of time, it was like I was colouring in my life for the first time with the brightest and most vibrant colours and designs.
“What do you feel?” She whispers out.
My eyes build with tears, feeling severely overwhelmed by the pure emotion that was riding through my body. “Everything,” I exhale before a year drips down my cheek. “I can feel everything.”
“Well tell me how you feel about this,” she says instantly, my brows furrowing towards her in confusion. She smiles, her eyes flicking down to my lips before up to my eyes again. “I love you Jake.”
My eyes blinking back at her, feeling suffocated by care and affection. Enough to take my breath away until I’m panting for air, tears falling from my eyes in every direction. “Fuck,” I curse out. “I love you, fuck Myla. I love you so much.”
She smiles against me and kisses me over and over until we’re laughing, my tears touching her lips.
“I’m so proud of you,” she tells me with a soft kiss.
My eyes close feeling content, my body feeling calm for the first time in my life. There was no weight holding me down, telling me how to feel. This was real.
“I’ve felt nothing most of my life,” my head shakes slightly. “But you came along and somehow warmed my cold ass heart, when I thought I was incapable of loving or anyone could ever love me. You were my reason to get out of bed on those days I hated my life, you gave me a purpose.”
Myla’s lips purse as her eyes build with tears. “Don’t make me cry,” she shakes her head, her voice breaking slightly. “You’ve never seen me cry.”
My teeth burst through my lips in a wide smile. “I’m sorry,” I breathe out as I watch her blink and a tiny tear fall from her eye. My hand quickly wipes it away and we laugh. “See? No tears.”
We continue to smile at each other, neither of us wanting to look away or pull from this special moment. This was everything I’ve ever wished for, the feeling of warmth stays but then my shoulders begin to slump. My mind wandering a million miles an hour.
“What’s the matter?” Myla asks sounding concerned.
My heart beats out of time as I gather my thoughts. “My dad is dead,” I say, accepting the emotion of pure grief that spreads throughout my body.
Myla’s eyes wobble between mine for a second. “He might be gone but you will never forget, he will be with you forever,” she tells me enthusiastically, her positivity helping me cope. “But if you need to cry, scream, destroy shit. Then do it, don’t hold back your emotions or you’ll end up exploding in some breakdown.”
My lungs struggling to catch my breath as I look up to Myla. “Is this what sadness really feels like?”
Myla nods but leans forward to kiss the corner of my mouth. “It hurts but you’ll be able to let it out, it will make you feel better in the long run. Expressing emotions makes us feel better, listen to your body. Don’t fight it.”
“Okay,” I breathe out as my eyes cloud with tears, never knowing that I could cry this much in one sitting. “I’m just glad you’re here with me.”
Her lips curve to one side as she runs a hand down the back of my head. “We’re end game.”