“Forgive me Goddess for I have sinned,” I whisper as I press my cold palms together, my eyes bolted shut. Shifting underneath the grains of rice that are piercing the skin on my knees.
“I don’t deserve this life, I know I have done bad things.” I frown, my eyes still closed. “I just pray that I don’t end up like my brother. I am not my brother. I do not have bad blood.”
My lips tremble and my knees begin to shake from the uncomfortable pain of the sharp grains. “I am sorry for what I have done, I am sorry for not being better.”
“I am sorry for being a sinner,”
Evan, downstairs in three minutes. We are leaving to train. I hear my Alpha, Jaxon tell me through mindlink.
My eye snap open and I drop my hands to my sides, pushing myself off the grains of rice. Gently picking them out of my knees and off the floor, placing them back in a metal pot which I hide in my draw.
I throw on the closest clothes that are laying on my bed and I head downstairs. Jaxon and his mate Ava are already in the kitchen, they are smiling at each other. Completely lost in each other’s eyes, it was cute but at the same time made me feel so unbelievably lonely.
They don’t even acknowledge my presence, the thought of having a mate somewhat kills me. I’d love to meet my mate but they would hate me for what I had done, for who I am.
Would my mate even be a boy?
My thoughts are interrupted when the rest of the pack join us in the kitchen. Jaxon smiles when he sees his beta, Kayden. “Glad to have you back to train brother,” Jaxon says as he claps his hand down onto Kayden’s back. They hug each other tightly and both share a bright smile.
“Right everyone listen up,” Jaxon calls and all the attention is instantly turned to him. “Now Kayden is back from his travels we are going to train and we are going to train hard.”
Jaxon’s blue determined eyes scan around the room. “I don’t want any slacking off anymore, I want this pack to get back to where it used to be. I want us to be fearless and brave. I want you all to have the strongest physicality possible. So we are going to work fucking hard.”
The whole room looks back at him in silence. “Does everyone understand?” He demands.
“Yes Alpha,” we all respond.
He nods curtly. “Right let’s not waste any more time,” Jaxon slams his hand down onto the marble counter and walks out of the back door.
We all follow and stand in a circle around him in the garden.
“We are going to train differently today, I want you to get up your human strength as much as your wolf strength.” He tells us as he turns around slowly in the circle. “We will run into the woods and then find a place to shift. If you can’t keep up then—” he pauses for a moment. “Just see what will happen.”
A cold shiver runs through my body, I was physically the weakest here by a mile. The fact my body and my wolf could no longer heal itself meant that any wounds I get slow me down.
“Let’s go,” Jaxon yells before darting into the trees, he was so quick I barely even saw him leave.
Everyone instantly follows him including myself, I’m at the back. My heart is already beating outside of my chest.
I can no longer see Jaxon or Kayden they’re so far ahead. My hand comes up to my forehead to wipe away the beaded sweat that has coated my skin.
Come on Evan. Sam taunts me in my head. We all knew you’d be last but you could at least try. I can hear his torturous laugh.
I never knew what was Sam’s problem. He loved to verbally embarrass me and I hated it. I hate that he tries to make me feel weak.
Attempting to pick up my speed so that I’m no longer last, my legs feel like they’re beginning to cramp. My clothes are covered in hot sweat.
Whoever’s last better hurry the hell up. Jaxon’s strong voice is in my head.
“Fuck,” I curse to myself as I storm past the leaves and branches on the floor.
I couldn’t be last, I couldn’t be last.
I had to prove that I was better.
My legs attempt to carry me as quick as I can, my arms swinging to give myself more momentum. My bones in my knees felt like they were going to snap any given second.
My heartbeat was in my throat, I was going to vomit any second.
I manage to level myself with the girl in front of me, she gives me a side glance and she panics. I panic more.
Gritting my teeth to try and numb the pain that covers my entire body.
I scream out as I run in front of her, my eyes notice the rest of the pack stand and watch in a clearing.
Jaxon smirks as he sees us both, he realises that I’m not last. The second that I get to them I fall down onto my knees and puke up my guts. My stomach acid burns through my throat and I choke out onto the grass.
My skin was burning, my body sweating, my stomach churning.
I feel a hard pat on my back as liquid sprouts out of my mouth. “Nice one kid, you practically came last.” Jaxon’s harsh voice tells me.
I mentally whine.
“You see,” Jaxon starts. “We need you guys to be on the ball, no throwing up, no heavy breathing, no sweating skin. You are werewolves!”
A hand comes up to wipe the corner of my mouth, I shift back onto my feet and hang my head in shame.
I did not belong in this pack.
“Get up Evan,” Jaxon tells me bluntly.
I cannot meet his eyes as I push myself up from the floor. My stomach begins to gargle like I haven’t eaten in a fortnight and it hurts.
“We’re going to play some tag, get ourselves nice and warmed up to have the best training session of our lives.”
“Reds will be with me and blues will be with Kayden, remember your colo—” Jaxon stops mid sentence and my eyes snap up to his.
He raises his nose in the air and breathes in deeply. He turns his attention to Kayden, I watch as his eyes go wide. “Do you smell that?” Jaxon asks deeply.
Kayden’s eyes go dark as he nods. Both of their hands beginning to ball into fists at their sides. “Trespassers,” Kayden growls out.
“No,” Jaxon’s voice is hard.
Their sense of smell must be beyond amazing as I cannot smell anything other than damp grass and mud.
“I know that smell,” Jaxon’s shoulders relax and Kayden looks back at him confused. “It’s safe.”
Jaxon and Kayden’s heads are instantly snapped round to the trees behind them, the air is silent for a few moments.
There is a dip in my emotions. The hairs on my arm stand on edge, my eyes widen as I take in a deep breath.
My heart was racing so fast it almost felt like it wasn’t beating, it was a violent hum.
I am suffocated by the smell of thick gasoline, my lungs are filling up with the scent. A match could be lit and the whole place would go up in flames. Then I can smell wild berries, it was spinning my head sideways.
My eyes couldn’t see, I couldn’t breathe.
I could hear distant laughing and talking but I was numb to the world.
I felt like all I’ve ever known is that smell, my body was continuously buzzing like it was submitting to the smell.
Blinking my eyes so that I can see what is going on around me, my eyes settle on the man in front of me.
He was tall, he was tattooed, he was huge.
His broad shoulders tense as he crosses his arms over his naked chest and rests his fingers on his thick biceps.
His green eyes are looking between Jaxon and Kayden, then he grins and the air is completely knocked out of my lungs.
He hasn’t even spared me a look yet but I knew one thing for sure, this beast of a man was my mate.
A beast of a man that would never want someone like me