My head was pounding, throbbing in unbelievable pain. My name is yelled in shock but I’m unsure as to who shouted it. I wince as I attempt to open my eyes, when I see daylight I instantly shut them again not being able to bare the bright light.
“You take Sam, I’ve got him,” I hear a muffled voice behind me. The voice sounded determined and strong.
“Oh my God,” I think that’s Sams voice. “I forgot that you can’t heal.” His laugh then fills the air.
“What kind of pathetic wolf can’t heal?” He sneers.
“I said that’s enough!” Jaxon roars so loud that it makes me shiver on the ground. “I’m almost fucking done with you Sam, if you think you’re getting out of this easily then you thought wrong.”
My body is swept up into warm arms quickly, my head rolls onto their shoulder. Then the smell of gasoline hits my nose, I sigh into his chest. The pain that is buzzing around my head begins to subside. Caleb carries me forward and walks promptly, I attempt to open my eyes again as I peak up to him.
His green eyes flick down to mine instantly, I watch as they move from my forehead to my nose to my lips. Caleb frowns deeply at me.
God you scared me. His voice is soft. Are you okay?
I grunt at his words and close my eyes, if I was standing up I would have definitely collapsed again.
My head. I manage to get out. Fucking hurts.
I’m sorry pups. What did he say to you?
I don’t even attempt to open my eyes again, I didn’t want to talk about Sam. That is the last thing I wanted to talk about. His stupid words shift around my head and no matter how hard I try I cannot shake them.
My whole body was weak, my mind was weak. I was weak.
Nothing. You are nothing.
His words cut me.
No one is going to want you.
Is that true?
What kind of pathetic wolf can’t heal?
My heart was aching.
Leave it. I say coldly to Caleb.
I partially open my eyes but keep them down.
You can’t hide things from me. Caleb’s voice is low like I’ve just disobeyed him.
My eyes flick up to his and I stare directly at him. If I want to talk about something, I’ll talk about it. Stop pushing me.
Caleb’s eyes flick between mine and I cannot read his expression, he looks angry but when he focuses back on my eyes he looks defeated.
The rest of the walk is in silence and it doesn’t take long to get back to our pack house. When we reach the back door I start to struggle in Caleb’s arms. “You can put me down,” I say bluntly.
Caleb breathes out a sharp breath through his nose. “Nice try,” he says roughly before opening the kitchen door and shuffling me through.
He places me down on the island and instantly grips the back of my neck gently to get a better look at my wound. “Let me look,” he says into my ear. I retract and push his hands away.
“Just leave it,” I grumble.
Caleb’s eyes stare back at me hard. “What has happened? What did he say Eva—”
The kitchen door is swung open which makes Caleb stop talking as we both turn our heads in the direction of the sound.
“Oh my God Evan, Jax just told me what happened!” Ava’s voice exclaims. Lucy is beside her and they both rush towards me completely pushing Caleb out of the way. I don’t dare look at him again because I hated the way I was thinking at the minute, I was being an asshole and I knew it.
A few other pack members step into the house including Felix and Zara who give me worried glances.
“Let me see,” Lucy says as she does exactly what Caleb did a few moments ago. I move my head to the side so that she can have a look, I almost wince at the pain but I don’t.
“Shit Evan, this is not good. I think you might need stitches.” She says to me. I quickly shake my head, I didn’t want to go to the hospital. That is literally the last thing I wanted to do right now.
“Let me see,” Ava says from the other side of me as Lucy moves away to route through the cupboards. When my eyes look up I’m met by Caleb’s eyes as he leans against the cupboards to my right. His arms are folded securely over his chest, his fingers gripping onto his biceps.
I blink and look away. “Oh shit indeed,” Ava confirms. “It’s a bad hit Evan, you really don’t want that to get infected.”
A sigh leaves my lips and before I know it Lucy is beside me again.
“Where is Jaxon?” I question quietly to Ava.
“Hold tight Evan, this is gonna sting,” Lucy says behind me as she raises up a cloth to my head. She presses it into my wound and I instant hiss at the unbelievable stinging sensation.
“Fuck,” I curse as I clamp my eyes shut and grip onto the edge of the island tightly.
“I’m sorry,” Lucy winces beside me as she cleans my wound gently.
Ava’s eyes look up to me and she smiles softly. “He’s upstairs talking to Sam,” she tells me. I resist the urge to roll my eyes, he’s probably telling Jaxon stupid lies to make himself sound like a saint.
Once Lucy had cleaned up my blood she inspects the cut carefully. “I really think this is going to need stitches Evan,”
“No,” I say instantly as my heart sinks in my chest. I hated not being able to heal, I seemed weak and unable to do anything. It was embarrassing. “I don’t want stitches.”
“It’s not a case of what you want Evan, it’s what you need. This could seriously get infected and we don’t want that.” Lucy tells me gently.
I instantly shake my head. “I’m not going to the hospital to get stitches, it’s not happening.” I say sharply.
“Evan please, you need to get it checked out,” Ava says beside me, her eyes are filled with concern.
“No,” I shout. “It’s fine, my head is fine.”
Pups. My heart almost stops when I hear his voice. Please listen to them, you’re hurt and I know you’re upset but please don’t jeopardise your health.
I shake my head and jump down from the island, my ankles shake slightly and Ava grabs my arm to steady me.
“I’m not going to the god damn hospital, I don’t care what anyone says,” I mumble before exiting the kitchen.
I wanted to prove that I didn’t need to be taken care of like a porcelain doll. A small cut to the back of my head didn’t need the hospital. I was better than that.
“Just leave him Ava, he needs to cool down. He’s clearly upset about what happened and is being defensive. He’ll come around,” I hear Lucy’s voice quietly behind me.
I don’t go upstairs in fear of seeing Sam again as I knew that he was in Jaxon’s office. Instead I go into the living room and I collapse down onto the couch being careful of my head. Quickly finding the remote and putting on whatever I can find, I needed something to drown out the silence which was killing me.
My head hurt from the pain, from my thoughts, from everything. I just wanted it all to go away.
Time goes by and my brain felt numb as I watched reruns of Friends.
The living room door behind me is opened quietly and shut with ease. I didn’t even have to look to see who it was because I already knew. His scent was suffocating the room.
He loops the couch and stands in front of me.
I don’t look up once.
“Can we talk pups?” He asks, his voice sounds tired.
I bite my lip and reach for the remote and turn off the TV. Swinging my legs from the couch I push myself up from the leather seats and move away from him.
Caleb reaches forward to grab my wrist and turns me around to face him. His eyes are angry and confused and it hurt me so bad. What was I doing to him?
“Stop trying to walk away,” he says desperately.
“Let go of me,” I say through gritted teeth and hooded eyes.
Caleb’s jaw ticks. “No,” he tells he deeply. I rattle my wrist around in his hold and let out a strained wince. “Stop trying to push me away.”
“Let. Go. Of. Me.” My eyes begin to gather with tears.
“You think that I think any less of you because of what happened?” He dips his head down to look at me better.
“I’m not doing this,” I say as I angrily wipe away a tear that had escaped my eye.
“Doing what?!” Caleb raises his voice at me and grips onto my wrist tighter like he thinks I’m going to run away any moment. “You’re not gonna let mates do what they should do? You’re not going to let me understand what’s going on in your mind?”
My eyes shut instantly as more tears stream down my cheeks.
“Don’t cry pups,” Caleb’s hand reaches up to my face.
My hands slam down onto his chest hard as I push him away again. Pain races through my palms but that was the last of my worries right now. Shock flashes in Caleb’s mind for a moment at my sudden outburst.
“You don’t understand what it’s like!” My voice explodes. “You don’t understand what it’s like to be seen as the pathetic weak one who has a shit upbringing. I’m not good enough for anything, for anyone. I can’t heal, I can’t do things a normal werewolf should be able to do!” My heart was aching so bad, throbbing like it was going to explode.
“How could someone like me be the mate of an Alpha?!” My throat strains as I cry. “I am nothing compared to you. Absolutely nothing. What will people think when they find out that we are mates?”
“Pups,” Caleb attempts to find my wrists again but I struggle against him.
“No!” I yell and avoid his hands. A distressed sob leaves my lips and Caleb’s expression drops in a second. “It’s true what they say. What everyone says. What’s the point? What’s the point in me even being alive?!”
Caleb roughly finds my face with his hands and pulls me towards him. “Don’t you ever say that again, don’t you fucking dare. You don’t mean that.” His eyes are hard and glassed over with so many emotions.
“I’m just causing more problems than anything, people wouldn’t even care if I wasn’t here. I’m just a waste of space!” My hands grip onto Caleb’s wrists and I push him off.
“Stop it Evan,” Caleb’s voice croaks out at me. “Stop saying that.”
I shake my head vigorously and let endless tears stream down my face. “I can’t do this anymore, I can’t I just can’t.” I sob.
Caleb finally manages to get his arms around me and pulls me into his hard chest. “Shhhh baby shhh,”
I can’t catch my breath as I hyperventilate into his shirt. His large hand rubs up and down my back soothingly. “Breathe, slowly.”
Caleb kisses the top of my head a few times. “You’re upset and I know you’re not thinking right at the minute. But what you’re saying pups scares the shit out of me.”
He grips my cheeks and pulls me away from him slightly so he can look me in the eye. “What you said about being nothing compared to me. That is complete bullshit pups and you know it. I would do anything to be even half as good as you are, you have a heart of absolute gold.”
I don’t even blink and tears fall from my eyes.
“You are everything,” his lips linger onto my forehead for a few seconds. “And I want you more than ever. You are so special to me, you make me want to be a better person.”
I made him want to be a better person? My heart jumps a beat at his words.
Silence settles between us.
“I think you need to see someone, speak to someone. With your past and your emotions now, you deserve to put this all to rest pups. A therapist or something.” Caleb wipes away my stray tears. “Hmmm?”
The thought scared me, having to bring up my past again and share it with a stranger? Everything was making my head thump. I sniffle and shrug. “I don’t know.”
“Think about it pups, for me?” He rests his forehead down onto mine.
“Okay,” I barely whisper.
“Please will you talk to me? Stop pushing me away. I want to be there for you, I want to see you happy. I always wanna see that goddamn gorgeous smile.” His lips warm my skin again.
My body melts at every touch.
“I’ll try,” I say quietly as I suck my bottom lip into my mouth.
“Are you still coming round tomorrow?” Caleb asks.
I nod. “Yes,”
“I wish it was tonight, I just want to hold you and tell you that everything is going to be okay.” Caleb’s lips turn into a frown as he rests his forehead against mine again and closes his eyes.
“I wish that too,” my eyes fall.
I wish many things and feeling like this wasn’t one of them.