Chapter Twenty One
My body ached when Caleb left, a feeling that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get used to. My heart was pounding continuously against my chest, blood was rushing through every vein in my body.
Ava convinces me to see a doctor but I didn’t want to leave the house, so she got someone to come to us.
My wound wasn’t as bad as everyone made out, it only needed a few paper stitches. But if it doesn’t begin to heal within the next few weeks then I needed to go to the hospital to get it checked out again. I was going to do everything I could to not let that happen.
I toss and turn all night, nothing was comfortable for my head and my head wasn’t comfortable with my thoughts. My eyes are shut but my mind is wide open, hours and hours pass and I can’t recall falling asleep once.
My whole body itched with irritation, my finger nails trace the scabbed scars on my wrists. I scratch and scratch. There is absolutely no reason I should be doing this but I am and I already hate myself for it. It doesn’t hurt but it feels uncomfortable and that’s enough to distract me from my thoughts. My finger tips feel damp but I ignore the feeling.
When the sun rises into my room I know that it’s Saturday morning, the night I get to spend with Caleb alone. The thought excited me but I was still mentally shaken, I felt like a dead soul inside a dead body.
But then again, when didn’t I feel like that?
My stomach rumbles and I forget that I haven’t eaten in ages, I drag my feet down the hall and when I reach the top of the stairs I see Sam. Halting to a stop instantly, my eyes watch as he opens the front door with a travel bag in hand.
When I focus on his face I notice that he has two black eyes and a split lip. Did Jaxon do that to him?
My head races with different thoughts. Surely if Jaxon had done that he would have healed by now? Did this just happen?
Sam leaves promptly as he slams the door loudly behind him.
I scurry down the stairs and straight into the kitchen where Ava is feeding Aurora her breakfast. “Hey Evan,” she smiles as soon as she sees me. “How’s your head?”
Aurora grins directly at me, her little growing teeth all on show. “Evan!” She yells.
I smile towards her and wave.
“It’s okay,” I say as I bring my hand up to the back of the bandage and turn to look at Ava. “Did Jaxon do that to Sams face?”
Ava looks me dead in the eye. “You think Jax would do that?” She raises an eyebrow at me.
I shrug in response, I honestly didn’t know if Jaxon would do that. Hurting a member of his pack. You can’t really fight violence with violence, it doesn’t ethically work.
“Trust me when I say that he wanted to hurt Sam, Sam told him what happened.” She says as she takes a banana from the fruit bowl and begins to peel it.
“Sam told him?” I question confused.
Ava nods. “Apparently he exploded into this rage about you being gay and stuff to do with Caleb. Jaxon was not happy in the slightest, so he sent him away.” She breaks the banana into little chunks and feeds them to Aurora.
My mouth gapes open. “Holy shit,” I mumble under my breath, not loud enough for Aurora to hear. My eyes take a quick glance at her but she’s happily munching away on her fruit to care. “Where’s he gone?”
“To his parents in another pack, hopefully they can straighten him out. He was being such an ass in general, I’m glad he’s gone.” Ava admits and let’s out a long sigh.
“Me too,” I agree. “So if Jaxon didn’t do that to Sam, then who did?” I ask as I take a seat on the stool opposite her.
Ava tilts her head at me, the look in her eye makes me feel like I should know the answer. “Oh gee I wonder...” she says sarcastically as she places her finger on her lips.
I furrow my eyebrows for a moment before I widen them when it clicks in my brain. My hands are pressed firmly into the marble island. “Wait, you think Caleb did this?!” I exhale sharply.
“Who else would have done it?” She throws her arms up at me.
“Oh fuck,” I curse then I realise I’ve said that out loud. “Sorry, sorry, sorry.” I say quickly as I flick my eyes between Ava and Aurora.
Ava chuckles and shakes her head. “It’s fine. I saw you guys together last night.” Her lips twitch up in the corners.
“You did?” My voice dips.
She nods and a strand of hair falls from behind her ear and in front of her face. “I really didn’t think I was going to be the one saying this but that man really cares about you Evan.”
My heart clutches and plummets into my stomach.
“The look he had in his eyes, he was scared last night Evan and you pushing him away only made him want to protect you more. That just proves how much he cares.” Her voice states like she’s speaking facts.
“He does?” Deep down I knew he cared about me because of the things he says and the way he handles me but it’s nice to know someone else notices it.
“Most people will bail when people have momentary blips in their life, when they’re being pushed away. Caleb has stayed put and said everything you wanted to hear. I was very wrong about him.” Ava hands Aurora more banana.
“I have a good feeling about him,” I say quietly.
Ava smiles at me broadly. “Me too. When are you seeing him again?”
I bite down on my lip. “Tonight,” I say honestly. “His pack are going away and I’m gonna stay at his so we can finally spend a night together since his dads event.”
She smirks in my direction and a glint of happiness shines in her eyes. “Well you’re gonna have to tell me all about that,”
Not like she wouldn’t be able to get it out of me anyway.
. . .
Caleb told me that he would come and collect me the second that his pack left but I wanted to be with him as soon as I could, so I decided to take a walk.
The walk was long but it was good to clear my head. I thought about last night and what Ava said to me today, butterflies danced in my stomach as I thought about Caleb and his feelings towards me. Inside I was craving every inch of his tattooed body, his heart, his mind. I wanted all of him and I wanted it now.
Adrenaline fuelled by arousal was racing around my body like no other. My finger tips tingled at the thought of touching his warm skin, I needed him.
When I finally get to his pack house I waste no time in running up to the front door and slamming down the metal knocker onto the wooden door.
After a few moments the door is swung open and I take one glance at Caleb who is stood in the doorway. In that few second glance I notice that he’s shirtless, his strong broad chest is the first thing that’s eye level. My stomach twists into knots as I stare shamelessly over his body.
I lunge forward and wrap my arms around Caleb’s neck and press my lips to his instantly. Kicking the door shut behind me with my foot.
Caleb’s hands find the small of my back as he pulls me flush against his chest, his lips devouring mine.
Our tongues come into contact and Caleb groans. I push him backwards and into his kitchen, once his back hits the counter I break away from his lips and kiss his neck and shoulders.
Caleb’s hands cup the sides of my face as I pepper sweet kisses across his inked skin. “Mmm pups,” he moans as my lips reach his abs.
My left hand reaches down to grope his manhood and he jolts. He pulls my face back up to his. “We don’t have to do this pups, I know you’re not in a good head space right now.”
Shaking my head instantly at him, I was in a good head space around him. All I wanted was him, I wanted him to suffocate me with everything about him. “I want to do this,” I whisper into his skin. “Let me do this.”
My hands find his waist band of his sweatpants and I pull them down without hesitation. His hard member springs free and I slip down onto my knees and look up to Caleb, my eyes flashing a glint of innocence.
“Oh Jesus, fuck,” he curses under his breath, his eyes turning dark.
I part my lips and take his cock in my mouth, my eyes never breaking contact with his. Caleb’s hand grips under my jaw with one hand.
His dick was huge and getting it in my mouth was a struggle, I suck gently and let my tongue swirl across his tip and around his sweet spot.
“Ohhh, fuck,” Caleb leans back onto the counter and his eyes roll into the back of his head.
My hand comes up to grip the base of his dick as I pump him, continuing to suck on his head.
“That feels so fucking good pups,” he pants like he’s lost all control of himself. His legs begin to shake as his hold on my jaw tightens.
My hand and tongue speeds up, gripping tighter and making my mouth wetter.
“Fuck, I’m gonna come,” Caleb says as he grips onto the side of the counter with his other hand.
It doesn’t take long until his cock squirts his hot thick cum down my throat, I don’t stop pumping him until there is nothing left to swallow.
His breathing is loud and heavy as I suck the tip of his dick dry and swallow the contents in my mouth. Cum tasted strange, like nothing I had tasted before. Sure it was salty like I’ve been told but it was Caleb’s and I wanted him to know that I was completely and utterly his.
His deep pants fill the air and I stand up. Caleb tugs his boxers and sweatpants up to his hips and grabs my face quickly to kiss me. It catches me by surprise and he reaches down to pull me up around his waist.
I kiss him deeply as he walks me further into the kitchen and pops me down onto the island. His lips break away from mine but holds me close, his bright green eyes look into my soul. Caleb’s hand pushes back my blonde curls through his fingers. “What the hell was that for?” He asks deeply, a smile playing on his pink lips.
I keep my eyes focused on his mouth as I shrug. “Just wanted to say thanks,” I reply quietly.
Caleb tilts up my face by placing two fingers underneath my chin. “Oh yeah?” He flexes an eyebrow at me. “For what?”
I look into his eyes and instantly melt. “For not giving up on me,”
Something flashes in his facial expression but he kisses me again before I can depict what it was. “You don’t need to thank me for doing what mates do, I will never give up on you.”
Smiling at him, my heart felt so full of care and love and I never wanted it to go away.
“I’ve made you dinner.” Caleb grins at me and he pulls away from the counter.
My eyes flick over to the stove, a frying pan with pasta, prawns and vegetables.
Caleb quickly serves up and hands me a plate. “Thank you,” I say as I take it from his hands.
We eat together and Caleb tells me more about the retreat he booked for his pack, I listen and stuff my face with the best food I had ever tasted.
Once I was finished he takes my plate and his to the sink. I shrug my jumper off in the process as I feel myself begin to heat up. “Did you hurt Sam?”
Caleb’s head rises at my question but he doesn’t look my way.
“Maybe,” he clears his throat. “Maybe not.”
“You shouldn’t have done that.” I say, I hated violence even though I was on the receiving end of it.
Caleb laughs shortly. “You think I was going to let him get away with what he did to you?” He turns sharply to me.
“He’s not worth it,” I say bluntly.
He walks towards me. “Anyone that hurts what’s mine is worth hurting back, I don’t care who they are. The second they mess with you, they’re also messing with me.”
He reaches for my hand and the other rests on my neck.
“You are the most important thing in my life and I cannot just sit back and not let justice happen. Fuck what anyone thinks is right or wrong. You are mine and if I don’t protect you then I have completely failed you pups.” His lips kiss my forehead lightly.
He rests his head down onto mine and his eyes glance down for a moment. His hand that’s holding my wrist turns facing up and I look to see what he’s looking at.
“Fuck Evan,” he curses as he pulls my arm up to his eyesight.
My scars were no longer healing scabs but fresh bloody scabs. “What did you do?” He demands.
“I-I,” I stammer not being able to find my words.
“Did you hurt yourself again?” His voice exclaims, I look up to him and watch his deeply furrowed eyebrows.
I instantly shake my head. “No I just, I just scratched them that’s all. I didn’t hurt myself again I promise.” I rush. Tears rim in my eyes and my hands begin to shake.
“Why Evan? Why?” Caleb’s words are harsh and they hurt my heart. I had let him down again.
I shrug and this time tears slip. “I dunno I just,” I sob. “I couldn’t sleep and things were on my mind and I just itched and I couldn’t stop. I wasn’t going to hurt myself again, it just distracted me for a little bit.”
Caleb closes his eyes and lets out a huff of breath from his nose, his forehead rests onto mine again. “I can save you from the world pups but I can’t save you from yourself.” He whispers.
“I know,” I mumble back through my tears. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologise to me, you have nothing to be sorry for.” He kisses my temple over and over. “I just knew that I shouldn’t have left you last night. What was I fucking thinking?” He curses as he grips onto the side of the counter tightly, his knuckles turning white.
I stay quiet and avoid his gaze, guilt rattling away in my body.
“I’m just glad I’ve got you now,” he presses a soft kiss to my lips and wraps his arms tightly around my body. “I want to help you get better, I want to see you happy again.”
I close my eyes feeling content with his warmth and comfort. “Then please just be there for me.”