Chapter Thirty One
The weeks after Caleb told everyone we were together were better than I ever expected. Not having to pretend we barely knew each other’s names and showing our relationship in front of everyone was making me feel like myself again. I didn’t feel like I was hiding who I really was, not like I’d ever be embarrassed of Caleb being my mate.
Although everything had been amazing with Caleb not everything had been great with everyone else. We had been training together again and the first few days people were actually noticing me. They were looking at me and talking about me, I tried to ignore it but it was proving to be difficult.
I have never had this much attention in my life and I was not a fan of it. My wolf was weak and I knew that, weaker than anyone else in either of our packs. With everyone’s obvious eye on me it was making me fall, trip and heave with anxiety.
I was noticeably weak and it was embarrassing, everyone looked up to Caleb like the worlds greatest role model and I don’t blame them. He is a great leader to his pack, he’s fair and strong and everything I’m not.
Today during training I told myself to ignore everyone else and focus on myself, focus on what I’m doing despite what anyone else might think.
My paws pound against the floor as I race and swerve between the trees. The cold crisp air whipping me in the face as I run as fast as I can.
Just as I reach the stream I am tackled at my side, a grey wolf attaches themselves to my back as we slide through the dirt and leaves.
I yelp out as my skin scratches against the branches, my head being bashed multiple times against the floor.
Once we come to a stop the wolf above me growls as I lay on the floor, my breathing heavy and uneven.
Another wolf joins him and they both stand over me, they look down at me with their mouths turned up in pathetic smirks. They then turn to look at each other and step away from me. I remembered their wolves, they were in Caleb’s pack but I could not remember their names.
What the fuck?! I exclaim through the mindlink.
We were allowed to tackle each other during training but not purposely hurt each other.
Oh Luke you were so right. The grey wolf says as he loops around me, my eyes watching him carefully. He could never fight back, he’s got a tiny little weak wolf.
My eyes burn and I grip my teeth together. Shut up. I ground out harshly.
You think you’re going to stand a chance against Caleb’s father? Luke aims at me as his paws stand over me. His father thinks we are slackers, imagine what he’s going to think of you. I’d be sleeping with one eye open if I was in your position.
Dread runs through his body at my words. You’re lucky you guys have a bond because I can’t say Caleb would even look at you without it. The other wolf tells me smugly.
You know nothing. I snarl out at him as my I jump up onto my four paws.
Oooooh. Luke mocks me. Look who’s getting cocky. Kieran, you’ve got Caleb’s dad on speed dial right?
I felt sick to my stomach. Kieran chuckles in my head and I resist the urge to attempt to rip his head off. Yep, right on speed dial. One quick call and I’m sure he’ll be dying to meet his only living sons mate.
They’re bluffing, they must be. They wouldn’t disobey their Alpha and do something so low to him. But at the same time, why are they being assholes about him and his father?
My cold eyes flick between them both angrily. Go fuck yourselves. I say before running off as fast as I can, adrenaline kicking in every inch of my body. My back was slightly scratched but the wound barely noticeable through my fur, feeling relieved because I was not going to explain this to Caleb. I couldn’t.
When I reach the centre of our grounds, I halt my feet and go flying through the ground. I pause and manage to catch my breath, not letting my anxiety get the better of me. I was not going to panic, this was not the time to panic.
Through the rest of the training I lay low and keep close to Ava, I can tell that she’s sensed something was wrong. She pauses and looks at me, her white head tilting to the side as her eyes look concerned.
You okay? She asks.
I nod and force a smile. I’m just tired and done with today.
Ava nods back at me. I feel that.
Once training is done and we are able to go home, Caleb’s voice echoes through my head. You wanna come back to mine pups?
There was no way in hell I was going back to his knowing what Kieran and Luke has just said to me.
We can stay at mine. I reply as I take off in the direction of our house.
Caleb catches up to me by the time we get to the back door, I shift and instantly grab the shirt and boxers I had left out to get changed into.
I don’t wait for Caleb I just go straight through the kitchen and up to my room. He follows in shortly after me but before he has a chance to say anything I walk into the bathroom and turn on the hot water in the shower.
Taking a few deep breaths, my hands begin to shake. I really couldn’t face Caleb right now because I felt like I was going to crumble any second.
I shed off my clothes and climb into the shower that was barely warm. Standing under the water for a few moments, clamping my eyes shut as it trickles down my face.
The bathroom door shuts behind me but I don’t turn around. I can hear Caleb begin to take his clothes off before he stands directly behind me.
His forehead rests onto the back of my head, his lips dipping down to kiss the tip of my shoulder.
“What’s wrong pups?” He asks quietly as he wraps his arms around me, his face smothered into my neck.
I couldn’t tell him. He would lose his shit, he would go ballistic. It would prove to him that he shouldn’t have said anything at all to his pack and I didn’t want him to regret that.
“Talk to me baby,” he mumbles into my skin. My whole body lights up with goosebumps as I shudder against him. “I know when somethings wrong.”
I take in a deep breath and turn around to look at him, I force a smile that seems convincing. “Nothing,” I reply. “Just had a tough training session and I’m tired.”
Caleb’s eyes study my face as he take a few moments to register my words. “That’s what’s wrong?” He questions.
I nod at him quickly.
There is a glint of uncertainty in his eyes but he sighs and lets it go. “Okay,” he says as he grabs the shampoo bottle. “Turn.” He orders and I instantly obey like a puppy dog.
. . .
We spend the evening watching movies and cuddling, I wasn’t really in the talking mood in which Caleb noticed and kept quiet beside me.
I yawn as my eyes begin to twitch, training always made me feel so drained. “Want to go to sleep?” Caleb asks and I nod.
He shuts the laptop lid and places it gently on the floor before turning off the lamp beside him. The room swarms with darkness and Caleb and I lay nose to nose facing each other.
Now I couldn’t see him, it felt easier to want to talk to him. The way my brain processes things is strange.
“What do you think of me Caleb?” I whisper.
Caleb moves his head up from the pillow, I can just about see his eyes look at me. “What do you mean?” He asks back.
I sigh and shove my face further into the pillow. “Pups,” he says sternly. “Tell me what you mean.”
“Does it bother you that I’m visibly weak compared to you?” The words fly out of my mouth without a second thought.
“Fuck Evan,” Caleb sits up, the duvet moving away from me. “Has someone said something to you?”
I shake my head. “No,” I lie. “I just want to know.”
“You’re not weak compared to me,” he tells me.
Almost scoffing at his words but I stop myself. “I am, I have a long way to go with my training. I’m the weakest out of everyone by a mile, I have no strength, I have no stamina. It doesn’t make you look good.” I grumble.
“Pups I honestly don’t care, it doesn’t bother me. I don’t ever see you as weak because I know how strong minded you are.” He glides the tips of his fingers up and down my arm.
“I just worry that you think I’m putting you to shame,” I admit.
“Pups please don’t say that,” his fingers finds mine and he kisses my hand gently. “I love you just the way you are, I would not change one thing about you.”
“But what about the bond?” I say a little too harshly
“What about our bond?” He asks confused.
“Without our bond would you even like me?” I say and bite down on my lip to stop myself from getting upset.
“Of course I would, where is this coming from?” His voice sounds desperate and helpless at the same time.
“Would you?” My voice almost croaks. “Because in the real world I am completely out of your league Caleb, have you seen yourself and then looked at me?”
Caleb’s hands find my face and he holds me tightly. “You are completely my type Evan, you have no idea. The blonde hair, the slim build, those goddamn blue eyes. You are everything I have always wanted.”
God, I was going to cry.
“You are gorgeous, every part of you is gorgeous and I wish you could see that.” Caleb sighs into my head as he rests his forehead against mine.
My body relaxes at his words, maybe I was worrying over nothing. Why did I always let other people get into my head?
Why could I never just accept myself for who I am?
“What happened today?” He asks softly snapping me out of my own thoughts.
“Nothing happened,” I lie again. “I just have realised a lot of things over the last few days. I want to become physically stronger and faster, I want to be better.” My words are rushed.
“Okay, okay. Well we can train together, away from everyone. What do you think about that?” He asks as his lips move to kiss my forehead.
I nod. “I’d like that,” I tell him and I can see the corners of his lips turn up into a smile.
“Just believe me when I say I’d not change anything about you,” Caleb tells me.
Instead of replying I lean up to press my lips against his, Caleb cups the back of my head and kisses me deeper. The air completely leaves my lungs as he holds my face and groans deeply against me.
So I climb on top of his body confidently, our lips breaking as I look down to him.
Both of our chests heaving quickly, my hands smooth over his bare chest and I hear him suck in a breath.
His hands glide under my top before his fingers gingerly play at the hem, he instantly tugs it off and over my head.
I lean down so our chests are skin to skin, my lips brush his and I can just about see his eyes in the dark. He’s looking back at me with such admiration it makes my heart flutter.
“I love you Caleb,” I mumble against him.
His hands grab my ass gently and the other rests on my back. He smiles and presses his lips to mine with full force, not needing to tell me because he showed me.