I couldn’t comprehend how much my back hurt, I could feel dirt and gravel in my cut which was making it uncomfortable for me to take part in Jaxon’s stupid training game.
Attempting to join in, I find myself catching my breath behind a tree. Gritting my teeth at the burning sensation that run up and down my spine.
I become alert when I see another wolf hurling towards me but when I notice that it’s only Lucy, Jaxon’s sister, I calm myself.
Her pale blue eyes watch me carefully as she inches closer to my shaking wolf.
What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Her soft voice is instantly in my head.
Holding her worried gaze, I eventually nod at her words.
Letting out a quiet breath, I pad around slowly in a circle and show Lucy my back.
Shit, Evan! Her voice sounds concerned, I knew it was bad. I’m taking you back to the house now, that needs to be seen to before it gets infected. You know what happened last time.
I shake my head towards her.
No. I say instantly. Jaxon will be mad.
Lucy rolls her eyes and nudges me to start walking back to the house. Well Jaxon can deal with me, you’re hurt. That’s what matters.
I smile gently at her as we walk in the direction of the house.
Lucy mindlinks me small talk along the way but after today’s antics, I didn’t really feel like talking. In fact I felt like shutting myself away forever, away from anymore hurt that I could endure.
When we get back to the pack house I instantly put some clothes on, as I enter the kitchen Lucy begins to shake her head and tut at me. “Take your T-shirt off, I need to clean your wound.” She tells me.
I hesitantly play with the hem of my black t-shirt. Pulling it up and over my head, I keep the material firmly over my forearms. Lucy’s hand snatches the top from my hands and I quickly cup my arms towards my body.
“Your back muscles were tensing, I need to see what I’m working with here.” I hear her voice behind me as she routes through the cupboards for the first aid kit.
This wouldn’t be the first time that Lucy has patched me up, in fact it happens almost every time we go out to train. I hated that I couldn’t heal, it ruined everything.
Without warning Lucy presses a wet cotton pad to my back and I hiss out, it felt like acid on my skin. “Fuck!” I curse.
“Sorry,” Lucy says quietly as she begins to wipe around my cuts. “So, what do you think of Caleb and his pack?”
My eyes shift up slightly at her words and they stare hard at the fridge in front of me. I swallow harshly and shrug, causing the pad to fly into my wound again. I groan at how much it hurt. “I don’t know,” I say groggily.
“I can’t really remember him as a child but damn has he grown up,” she tells me.
I just hum at her words, I don’t know what else to say.
“Right, this is all done. You need to keep your top off so it can air out.” Lucy explains and I sigh.
Just as Lucy is about to put away the first aid box, we can hear a loud buzz of chatting and laughing coming from the garden.
We both look out the window and I spot Jaxon with Caleb and his pack walking up to our house. What the fuck was going on?
“W-Why are they here?” I ask pathetically to Lucy. She shrugs as she watches them walk in the back door.
Jaxon and Caleb are in a deep lighthearted conversation as they laugh.
Once again Caleb doesn’t even notice me. He’s wearing clothes, finally. He still looked absolutely divine, his white t-shirt clung to his well trained and thick biceps. My eyes couldn’t keep away and I felt ashamed.
When the whole of his pack and our pack were in the kitchen it was busy. Both packs were mingling together and I just wanted to get the hell away from here.
I perch myself on one of the kitchen islands towards the back of the kitchen, I try to ignore the fact that I am not wearing a top and my cupped arms never leave each other.
“Oh my God,” I hear Sophie, one of the girls from my pack say beside me. “Have you fucking seen him?”
My eyes float to Grace who is stood beside her. Her eyes almost bulge out of her head as she nods aggressively. “That man could ruin my life any day,”
I didn’t even need to know who they were talking about because it was obvious. They were talking about my mate.
Their eyes wander to him on more than one occasion, they laugh like little school girls and drool over him.
I was so close to leaning over and asking them to pick their jaws up from the floor but I knew better than that. That would make me sound like some jealous psycho. My wolf didn’t like people speaking about him like that, especially after he so clearly doesn’t want anything to do with us.
“Do you know if he has a mate?” Sophie asks innocently.
Grace shakes her head. “No but whoever she is, she’s one lucky son of a bitch. She’d be ruined down there on a daily.”
Sophie laughs. “You’re so vile you know that?”
Grace shrugs like it’s nothing. “Give it a few weeks and he’ll be ruining me.”
My insides churn over and over as I listen to them talk. I have to pull myself away from their conversation before I throw up.
I fetch some water from the fridge and when I slam the door shut I notice those green eyes staring at me. I’m sure I saw his eyes flick down my bare torso but I could have imagined it.
Squirming under his intense stare, I didn’t know what to do.
Put a fucking shirt on.
His voice in my head startles me but also makes me shiver in pleasure. I hated the way it sounded like silk but rough like gravel at the same time. He was so demanding and it made me want to submit to him but I wasn’t going to. Not for anything.
What I couldn’t understand was, why did he care if I was shirtless? What was bothering him so damn much?
I can’t. Is all I can reply with.
Watching Caleb, something in his jaw ticks at my answer. He turns away from me not even bothering to know why I couldn’t put a shirt on, I doubt he even realises that he was the one who had hurt me.
“Can I get everyone’s attention?” Jaxon yells out above the sound of everyone talking.
The room goes quiet and all attention is turned towards him. “Caleb and I have been talking and we found training today productive and fun for both of us. So we’ve decided to train together as one big pack to make ourselves better, a bit of competition never hurt anyone.”
Everyone in the room turns around to each other and smiles approvingly at the decision.
“We want to make each other stronger and we know that our grandparents would have loved for us to be back together doing what we love most,”
My head ducks even lower than before. This could not be happening, why would he want to spend more time with us?
Jaxon introduces us to Caleb’s Beta, Felix and his mate Zara.
Whilst the two packs begin to socialise my head started to thump, I didn’t want to be here. I just needed to rest.
“Hey, what’s up Evan?” I hear Ava’s voice in front of me.
I look up to her and force a smile. Her face falls into a frown as she looks at my shoulder. “What happened?”
Shaking my head towards her. “I just fell during training, I’m not feeling too well though. I think I need to sleep.” I admit.
“Why don’t you?” She says softly as she reaches out a hand to rest on my forearm.
“I don’t want Jaxon thinking I’m slipping out on things again, I’m already in his bad books.” I mumble.
“You’re not Evan, he’s just being stressy as usual. It’s got nothing to do with you.” Ava squeezes my arm for comfort.
My eyes zero in on hers and I stare at her like she’s stupid. “Yes it does, it has everything to do with me. I appreciate you want to see him in a good light but he has it in for me.”
Ava chews her lip before folding her hands in front of her. She turns her head behind her and I watch as Jaxon walks up towards us.
“Hey,” he says quietly before slipping his hand around Ava’s waist and kissing her gently on her temple.
Jaxon finally turns his attention back to me. “Hey Evan,”
“Hi,” I breathe out. “I’m sorry if I let you down today.”
I notice Ava’s eyes turn sad at my words and she watches Jaxon intently for what he will say back to me.
Jaxon lets out a jagged sigh. “You didn’t let me down Evan, I’m sorry for being hard on you. I just want to push you and maybe I pushed you too far.”
I take in his words but just end up shrugging. “I need to learn at some point,”
“Yeah but at your speed, I appreciate that you’re not quite built like the rest of us and you are the youngest with not much skill or training experience.” His words were true.
“I promise that I try harder every time we train,”
Jaxon smiles proudly at me which feels weird because I rarely see this side to him. He raises his hand up to lightly tap my face. “I knew you were one of us,”
My heart warms and I smile. A genuine smile.
Jaxon then ruffles my hair with his fingers. A soft laugh leaves my lips and Ava attempts to stop Jaxon from almost taking my head off. When he lowers his arm, I notice Caleb standing behind him, his eyes trained on the three of us. Grace and Sophie both surrounded him, they looked like they were completely chewing his ear off. I don’t miss the way that Grace bats her eye lashes like she’s got a twitch.
I close my eyes for a split second, for a moment I thought that things were looking up with Jaxon and the pack. Then I remembered that Caleb existed, he didn’t just exist—he was my god damn mate.
“Go get some rest Evan,” Jaxon pats my shoulder which makes me wince. Ava gives me a sympathetic look.
“Thanks,” I say towards them.
I make my way across the kitchen to get to the hall, I walk dangerously close to Caleb as he stands right in the way of the exit.
As we walk beside each other he watches me carefully out the corner of his eye. His gasoline scent was enough to make me collapse on the floor.
When I make it up to my room the first thing I do is lock my door and race to my draw.
I quickly empty the contents of my small mental case onto the ground, the rice grains flying across the wooden floorboards.
Instantly kneeling down onto them, my eyes water at the piercing of my skin. I clamp them shut and push more pressure onto my knees, clasping my hands together in front of me.
“Please forgive me Moon Goddess for I have sinned,”
Caleb had to be some sort of punishment for me.
And maybe the moon goddess would forgive me if I proved to her how sorry I was.
How I regret what happened every single day.
If only she would listen to me.