His Getaway (bxb): Book 3

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Chapter Forty Five


As I watch Evan walk away in the arms of someone else, my fists tighten and I resist the urge to shout unnecessary things to get his attention. Instead I quickly make my way back over to Zara and Felix. Not once do I tear my eyes away from Evan, keeping him strictly in my view.

"He's here," I say suddenly as I approach Zara and Felix.

They instantly stop talking and Zara stares back at me. "Did you talk to him?" She asks as her eyes drop with empathy.

I sigh harshly and nod my head. "Yeah," I struggle to get out. "But he's here with someone else and he barely said two words to me."

My eyes follow to where he stopped, he's stood talking to Miles. He's upset, his arms flaying and his brows pulled into a deep frown.

"Someone else?" Felix says as he tries to snap me back into the conversation.

Flicking my eyes to his momentarily and I nod.

"Maybe he's just a friend?" Zara suggests optimistically.

I stare her out for a few moments. "He called Evan babe and then held hands in front of me. So no, I don't think they're just friends." My voice dripping in annoyance.

The bubbles of jealousy crawl under my skin and I look back towards Evan, Miles now resting his hands gently on his shoulders like he's giving him a pep talk.

"Fuck," I curse under my breath.

"You just need a chance to explain to him," Felix tells me.

"How?!" I exclaim. "He fucking hates me, doesn't want to know me. And now he's got his pet dog trailing along."

"You need to get him alone, away from everyone." Zara adds in.

"I fucking hate this," I mumble under my breath before I look up to the ceiling for some spiritual courage.

Zara reaches forward to squeeze my arm. "You guys are soul mates, you'll figure it out. He just needs to understand without everyone else's imput."

My eyes flick up to Evan again, his face scrunched up and frustrated. He shakes his head towards Miles and walks away from him.

"I'm gonna go after him," I say towards Zara and Felix but keep eyes trained on the back of Evan's head.

"You got this," Felix says as he slaps his hand down onto my back as I pass by.

Weaving in and out of the endless groups of people, trying my best to avoid Miles and any of Jaxon's pack. Evan slips down a quiet hall and I slow down, he buries his head into his hands and throws his neck back.

He stops by the window and glances out at the garden. My feet stop a few meters from him, trying my best not to give him a fright. His hands fumble and I knew that he was feeling uncomfortable, his head was probably a mess.

"Evan?" I call out softly.

He turns suddenly, shocked that I had followed him. Wiping his eyes over and over like he didn't want me to know that he was still upset. His blue eyes looked broken and dull of life, tired and fed up.

"Please can we talk?" I ask as I flick my eyes between his.

Evan swallows harshly as he debates my words in his head. He swipes a shaky hand through his brunette curls, anything to try and kill time.

"Talk," he croaks eventually.

My body relaxes and I try my best not to get worked up. "I am so sorry for what I did to you pups, what I did to us. But I only did it to protect you, my father was a complete lunatic and—"

"I understand why you did it Caleb," he says softly, his eyes burning red. My mouth closes as he takes one step towards me.

"But you didn't even give me one last hug, one last day with you," he cries out angrily, tears spilling out of his eyes. "I didn't know if you were going to return, if you were going to come back for me. All I needed was some kind of confirmation but you left and I had no idea what that meant for us."

"Pups I—"

"Don't call me that!" He yells, his teeth gritting tightly. "You have no right to call me that."

"I didn't mean to hurt you."

"But you did Caleb! You made the decision yourself, you never sat me down and explained every little thing that was happening. You didn't even fucking see me for a week!" He cries out to me and witnessing his distress was making me feel sick with guilt. "We could have spent that week together, talking this through, trying to help me to understand."

"I know, I know," I lower my head to the floor.

Evan's breathing becomes heavier as he starts to ramble. "Maybe if you cuddled me and kissed me and told me you'd come back for me I would have had a little bit of hope! But I thought you had left me for good and that broke my heart more than you could ever imagine."

"I knew that if I cuddled you, I wouldn't have been able to leave you after." I try my best to explain but he just shakes his head in return. "I would have given into you and you would be dead right now, Evan."

He blinks and tears pour, he faces the ceiling and he shakes his head continuously. "But you don't just leave someone on the floor crying out for you! You don't do that to someone you love!" He spits.

"Let's just talk about this," I try to calm him down.

"Y-You just expect me to forgive you? Just accept you back into my life after you were absent for five months?" He demands, his hands falling into fits.

"I just want you to try and understan—"

He cuts me off, his frustration getting the better of him. "It's like you didn't care about how I felt at all, as long as you didn't give into me that's fine." He says defensively as he holds his hands up.

"It's not like that," I step closer my hand reaching out to him.

"Don't," he sobs as he yanks his hands away. "Don't touch me."

I watch as Evan's chest rumbles, his breath becoming quick and sharp.

"Evan you need to breathe," I attempt to move closer but he pushes me away.

Evan coughs out, his throat dry from the heavy breathing. "Evan please," I beg desperately, seeing him like this was going to break me.

"Evan?" A voice calls from down the hall. "Oh my God, Evan."

Ava races past me and rushes to his side. She perches him on the sofa behind and tells him to breath in and out. She looks up to me and gives me an unreadable stare.

"What's going on?" Kayleigh questions as she follows down the hall.

She notices Evan and then looks towards me, she sits the other side of him and wraps her arm around his shoulder. Ava stands up to face me, her arms cross over her chest like she's going to explode with a rage of words.

"I think you should go Caleb," she mutters, her voice low.

My face falls at her words. "I just wanted to talk," I explain calmly.

"Talk? Look how much you've upset him!" She exclaims, her eyebrows shooting up.

I lower my head again and quickly stretch the back of my head awkwardly, Ava's glare was enough to make me feel uncomfortable.

"I'm just trying to put things right," I tell her honestly.

A subtle forced laugh leaves her lips. "Put things right?" She repeats. "You left him when he needed you the most."

"I had no other choice," I grit out angrily, her words beginning to frustrate me.

"There is always a choice Caleb! You never spoke to me or Jaxon, we would die for him." Her eyes glimmer and I realise how much this meant to her "We would have fought for him, we would have done anything to stop your father from ruling your lives."

A frustrated groan rumbles out of my throat. "My father was indestructible Ava, he would have killed Evan the second he found out that I disobeyed him. He wasn't even out of the hospital by then. I didn't do it because I wanted to, I did it because I had to." My voice becomes harsher with every word.

"What, so you think you can just waltz back into his life like nothing has happened?" She says dumbfounded at my presence.

Out the corner of my eye I look towards Kayleigh who is now cuddling Evan, his breathing finally becoming slower.

"You want to come back once all the damage is done?" Her eyes fire at me with fury. "Where were you when we had to take him to the hospital multiple times?"

Ava quickly wipes her damp eyes and pushes her dark hair out of her face. "Where were you when he tried to take his own life?"

My heart quakes, my legs suddenly feeling weak. In the back of my mind I knew that Evan could go back to hurting himself or try and take his own life but I never wanted to accept it because I didn't want it to be a reality. It was ignorant of me to think otherwise because I knew how unstable he was and I hate myself for not being with him.

"Where were you when he stayed up all night crying out for you, crying for things to go back to normal?" Ava's words become louder and louder.

A tear rolls down my cheek, her words completely defeating me.

"You knew how vulnerable he was, you knew how much he was a danger to himself. You say that your father would have killed him but trust me Caleb, you almost did that yourself." Ava spits out quickly, her eyes flicking between mine.

Her words sting and I completely forget how to breathe. The sound of Evan's crying was all that I could hear and it made me want to do nothing more than reach out and hug him.

Ava steps closer to me so that our shoes are toe to toe, she glances up to me. "I get that your father is a massive fucking asshole and Evan was in danger but you could have dealt with the situation different and you know it."

"I know I'm the worst person Ava, trust me I know. But there is a lot more to the story than you think," my eyes plead with her to try and understand.

She completely ignores what I say. "You know what? Evan saved my life, he'd do anything for anyone. But you, you couldn't even be there for him when he needed you. That's not what mates do." Ava's tone drops, her words now sounding sympathetic towards me.

My eyes flick towards Evan, his laying firmly on Kayleigh who was trying to smile at him supportively.

"You're right," I say eventually as Kayleigh and Evan glance towards me. Evan's pale blue eyes meet mine. "I don't deserve him. I never have."

He holds my stare which feels like an eternity, his lips pulled down into a frown as they quiver slightly. I knew Ava was going to be protective over Evan, they are so unbelievably close and they have a bond like no other.

"You should go Caleb," Ava says and I snap out of my trance.

I nod towards Ava before I find Evan's eyes again. "If you want to talk and know the real story, I'll be outside," I tell him calmly.

He doesn't even blink as he drinks in my words. I wish I knew what he was thinking or feeling, not being able to feel his emotions felt completely alien to me.

"You are capable of making your own choices," I tell him as I glance at Ava for a moment. I didn't want her feeding him stupid shit that he didn't need. He needed to make the choice himself. "And I hope you have the decency to hear me out."

After a few moments I take a few large steps back and turn on my heel, the ball is in his court and I knew I couldn't push him anymore. He was already at breaking point and seeing him upset made me want to smash my face into the wall, take all of his pain away, cuddle him and never let him go.

If he even had the tiniest inkling inside him that we could be together, I know he'd want to hear me out.

. . .

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