At The Edge Of Hopelessness

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Emmett Comes Home.

The time passed slowly for Leah as she had to witness Emmett and Donna together. It was painful for her to see both of them happy with each other. It was night time already and some people were gathered around the bonfire while some were in the beach house – dancing and drinking and others were in the water – having a good time and Leah – she was sitting on the rooftop – looking at her crush and his girlfriend having so much fun. She should have listened to Austin and Alesha – what was she thinking? Why did she think that she will be okay? Leah deep down was expecting that maybe – just maybe Emmett with a look at her like she sees him – but whom was she kidding? Emmett never saw her in any way more than just his best friend’s little sister. She felt a lump in her throat as she saw the couple laughing and kissing. She sighed and looked away from them. It was too difficult for her. She couldn’t wait for the morning so that she could go home.

“Don’t you want to go down and party with all of them?” Leah was shuddered by the sudden male voice from behind her. She wiped her head around to see that it was Milo – her brother’s other best friend with a cigarette between his lips and a bottle of beer in his hand. Leah chuckled nervously, “You scared me, ” she told him. He chuckled and shook his head, “I am sorry about that.” He said she shrugged, “It is alright.” She replied. Milo puffed out the smoke and asked, “Can I join you?” He asked. Leah smiled and tapped the space beside her with a smile, “Sure, ” she said. She has known Milo, Reuben, and Emmett since she was a kid – they have around a lot since the three of them have always been best friends with her brother.

Milo smiled softly before he walked closer and sat beside her – he looked down at the party and sniggered, “I swear I have never seen freaks like these people before in my life, ” he commented. Leah couldn’t help but titter. Milo grinned and looked at her, “No, seriously – I mean look at them – they are all going crazy down there. It is as if this is the last party they will ever attend, ” He added. Milo or any of his best friends has never been party people – not even Emmett but since he met Donna – everything changed. Leah chuckled and shrugged, “Well, they are Donna’s friend – what else are you expecting from them?” She said. Milo smoked the cigarette as the smile on his face disappeared and he looked up at the sky and released the smoke, “Ah – Donna. I swear I hate that girl.” Milo said before he looked at Leah – who didn’t reply but kept looking down at the party – she didn’t want to look at Emmett but she couldn’t move her eyes off him.

After a brief pause Milo continued with a sigh, “I know it must be hard for you to be here, ” Milo said. Leah smashed her lips together – she was embarrassed. She felt pathetic that everyone knew about her feelings and was showing her pity. “Life is hard, girl. We don’t always get what we want.” He added. Leah quietly listened to Milo – she was embarrassed – she has been so obvious about her feelings that she believes that by now Donna must have known about her feelings for her boyfriend as well. “Sometimes you have to use the force to get what you want, ” He added to which Leah looked at him and narrowed her eyes, “Use force?” She asked. Milo smiled and nodded, “Yes, ” he replied short. Leah smiled, “I disagree. I think sometimes we should just let the things as they are – maybe this will turn out to be a good thing for us in the future, ” She replied. Milo sniggered and smoked once again – he took his time to reply, “Future is too far away for us to care for, Leah.” He replied before he drank his beer and look into the ocean. Leah didn’t get what he was trying to say and she didn’t even bother to ask – sometimes are better left unsaid. She could tell that he was also going through some emotional difficulties – he never used to talk like this. He has always been the funny one – also cracking jokes – always having a smile on his face and always trying to put one of the others’ faces as well.

After almost half an hour, Milo excused himself and once again Leah was alone on the rooftop. A few minutes ago – she saw Emmett and Donna walking inside the beach house – they haven’t come out since then – Leah didn’t even want to think about what they were doing inside. She blew her cheeks out and looked for time on her wristwatch – it was thirty past ten at night. Just an hour and a half were left for Emmett’s birthday to start. She has decided to wish him his birthday and then go and sleep in the car – she didn’t want to see more than she already saw. Leah closed her eyes and let the summer sea breeze rush throw her hair. The smell of the ocean was dense but she liked it. The sound of the wind wasn’t letting her think more than she should. “Hey, ” Leah gasped when for the second time she shuddered by a sudden voice. She knew that voice so well. She slowly moved her head to see Emmett standing behind her with a smile on his face, “I saw you sitting here alone from down there and thought maybe I should accompany you, ” he shrugged with his hands in short’s pocket. Leah let out a shaky breath as her heart skipped a beat – why did he have come up to her? She chuckled, ’You scared me, ” she told him. Emmett chuckled and scratched the nape of his neck, “Oh, I am sorry about that, ” he said.

Downstairs the music was booming in the room. The room was filled with drunken and sweat people – dancing on the beat while in the ocean of people – Donna’s eyes were looking for her boyfriend. She came in with him to get a drink but then her friends called her and when she came back – e was gone. While she was looking around he eyes fell on Austin – standing in the corner with a beer in his hand – looking bored. Donna narrowed her eyes – although she wanted to find Emmett that could wait – first she needed to talk to Austin. Emmett had told her how Austin has rejected her friend and she wanted to know why? She put on a fake smile and walked closer to him. Austin’s eyes met Donna as Donna approached him with a big smile, “Hey, Austin – having a good time?” She asked.

Austin didn’t even try to cover up the dullness and the boredom in his voice and on his face, “Yeah, great party.” He mumbled before he drank from his beer bottle. Donna realized that there wasn’t any use to fake around Austin. She knows that Austin or any of Emmett’s friends doesn’t like her and it wasn’t like she fancied them. She believes that they were all boring and she will never hesitate to take credit for introducing Emmett to fun and life. Before her, Emmett used to waste his time in his room – playing video games with his friends. She sighed and wiped the smile off her face – the music was too loud for her to talk to him so she asked, “Listen, can we please talk somewhere – where it isn’t too loud?” She asked him. He looked at her and narrowed his eyes, “What do you want to talk about?” he asked. Donna heaved, “Can we please go out? It is too loud here, ” She asked him frustratingly. Austin sighed – he didn’t look like he wanted to go or talk to her but he agreed anyway and followed her into a room. Austin walked in and Donna followed her before she loudly closed the door behind her. Austin wasn’t sure what she wanted to talk about nor was he interested – he just wanted to go out and do nothing – it was better than talking to Donna.

Donna turned around to look at Austin – standing with his arms folded. She didn’t waste her time chit-chatting and came straight to her point, “Austin, I don’t like you.” She told him. Austin smiled, “The feeling is mutual, ” He replied. Donna didn’t appreciate his smart mouth – no one ever showed her bitterness towards her. “I know you or your two other friends like me and I can assure you that I don’t like you all either – I seriously find you all boring and I only tolerate you all because you all mean something to Emmett, but bringing your sister with you was a cheap shot.” She said. Austin narrowed his eyes – he clenched his jaws and released his hands by his sides before he curled his hands into a fist, “What did you just say?” He asked slowly. Donna rolled her eyes, “Oh, come on, we all know how your sister is crazy after my boyfriend. And I know why you brought her here.” Austin frowned as he listened to Donna – he wanted nothing but to slap her mouth shut. “I thought that maybe – just maybe I will be able to get well with if not with other two losers than maybe with you and that is why I tried to set you up with my great friend Gia – but you did the right thing rejecting her – she is too good for you.” Donna continued to insult Austin.

There was silence between the two of them for a while – all that could be heard was people outside and the thudding loud music. Donna had a smug smile on her face – she was happy to insult Austin – she finds him the most irritating and manipulative. Austin slowly walked closer to her – Donna backs up to the wall. Austin got closer to her and stared death into her eyes, “You talk all the shit about me and watch me not giving a single shit but I swear, if you ever – and when I say ever – I mean ever!” He shouted and slammed his hand on the wall behind Donna with his teeth gritted and with a snarl on his face, “If you ever try to bad-mouth about my sister ever again – I will forget that you are a girl, ” He threatened her before he gave her a nasty look and strode out of the room – slamming the door behind him.

Upon the rooftop, Leah got on her feet when she saw Emmett – her heart fastened. “Uh – hey – hey, what are you doing here?” She stuttered. Emmett smiled softly before he blew his cheeks and glanced down before he answered her, “Honestly, I am here to talk to you about something.” He said. Leah gulped nervously – her palms were getting sweaty but she tried to sound as calm as she could, “Uh – yes, sure – everything okay?” She asked him. Emmett looked at her for a bit before he nodded his head, “Yes, everything is okay.” He replied to her. Leah smiled and nodded her head, “So, what is it?” She asked with a chuckle – she was nervous – she just wanted to know what he wanted to say to her. Emmett took a deep breath before he spoke, “Listen, Leah – I – um – I knew how you feel, ” He said to her slowly. The smile on her face was gone. Her cheeks turned warm – there she goes again – this time it was more embarrassing as it was coming from her crush.

Emmett has already told her that he doesn’t see her like she wants him to see but still – he believes that he needs to have this talk with her once again. He was a little drunk and he thought that he will be less nervous when he is drunk and will be able to Leah know about his feelings. “But, I love someone else, ” His words her like a stab to her heart. “Leah, I am sorry if I ever led you on – I am sorry if I ever gave you false hope – in any way. I am sorry, Leah, but for me, you have always been and will always be Austin’s little sister.” He continued, “Donna has been asking me about you – she suspects that we have some sort of past or something and I am unable to make her believe me when you around – looking at me like you do, ” he spoke softly. Leah closed her eyes and let the tears dropped. It was humiliating for her. “I am sorry, Leah – I know I am hurting you but maybe this way you will stop liking me. I am sure a great guy is waiting for you out there – it is just not me, ” he said with a sigh. Leah slowly opened her eyes filled with tears – she dared to look at Emmett who had his eyebrows knitted together, “I am sorry, Leah, but you need to stop hurting you. I can never be yours, ” he spoke softly as Leah sobbed. It was painful for him to see her like this – he might not love her but he cares for her but it was the only thing he thought was left to do.

….

Emmett walked out of New Orleans’s airport after five long years – he let out a shaky breath as he felt the air of his home. His eyes turned glossy – it has been so long since he smelled the smell of his hometown. He didn’t ask his mother to come to pick him up – he didn’t want to bother her, so he booked a taxi and drove to his home. He couldn’t stop smiling – he was back at home. It could feel knots in his stomach. He had so much to do but before that, he had to see his mother and then maybe try to talk to his old friend. He doesn’t know if Austin will be happy to see him – after all he left him alone when he probably needed him the most. They haven’t talked since and he would love to catch with him. He missed his friend during these past five years – he was hoping that Austin will forgive him. Leah gasped for air as she was once again woken up by the same nightmare. She choked on the sudden drawing in of air and coughed. She heard his footsteps and smelled his sweet scent before she heard him, “Hey, easy – are you alright?” Raymond asked. Leah was here for her weekly session and she doesn’t know why she fell asleep – maybe last sleepless night was tiring her out. Raymond hand Leah a glass full of water and slowly rubbed her back, “It is okay, Leah – drink the water and just breath, ” he spoke softly.

Leah drank the water and cleared her throat before she nodded, “I am okay.” She told him. Raymond took the glass from her hand and she heard his footsteps moving, “You fell asleep while I went to take a call, ” She sensed humor in his voice. She smiled, “Yes, I am so sorry, Raymond – I was really tired. I didn’t get much sleep last night.” She told him. Raymond smiled and turned to look at her, “What made you anxious enough that you couldn’t sleep?” he asked. Leah let a small smile stretch on her lips, “It is nothing – just thinking about the past kept me up all night, ” she said. Raymond was silent for a few seconds before he hummed, “Hmm, and what about the nightmare you were having right now? You were mumbling in your sleep. Do you want to talk about it?” He asked. Leah was silent before she spoke, “It wasn’t a nightmare, Raymond, it was a memory, ” she said as she gulped.

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