Swallowing the new pill I’ve been taking for over a week now feels weird still. Though no side effects have been experienced yet, I still don’t know how to feel at the idea of potentially getting pregnant again. I want to give Ryan a child, he’s always wanted children, but the risks are making me nervous. Not to mention the struggle from figuring out the right time frame for it to work, it’s overwhelming. He’s been filming, and I worry about him not being to come home for us to do the deeds. There’s also the part where although his therapy is going well, I worry about the pressure it adds to his shoulders knowing he has to find a way to get time away from work. My therapist has been trying to get me to stop dwelling on what could happen instead of envisioning what I want to happen.
Ryan, Cooper, and Max have a morning routine where they all work out together and I’ve decided to join them. I figured if I’m going to get pregnant I want to make sure I’m healthy and strong. It’s also nice to spend more time with my husband since he’s been away on set for long hours as well as helping his mother find a new house. It’ll be a big change for him, he moved out a while ago but he could always go back for a visit. Looking at his legs going up and down as he works out has me distracted from what I’m doing. Niall, the trainer I hired brings me back telling me to focus. I notice Ryan chuckling from the corner of my eye. I get my revenge when I’m asked to do squats, I make sure to turn around so my behind is facing him. Feeling the burn after a few minutes, I’m tempted to give up but I push through refusing to fail on the first try.
After our session, I kiss him before riding in different cars. Him going to work and me going home to study. My nerves are starting to get the best of me knowing my first finals are approaching. Not only are finals coming but our first try at conceiving is scheduled for next week as well as Ryan wrapping his movie.
I’ve been studying for hours when my phone rings. Maddy’s frantic voice rambles on about her wedding planner quitting on her, apparently, she had too much planned already and couldn’t help my friend anymore. Very unprofessional on her part but what’s done is done, I must help her now. “Maddy, your wedding is in a year! I didn’t even use a wedding planner, I can guide you through what I did for mine, we’ve got time,” I try to decrease her anxiety. “But you know I like to plan everything in advance and I was overwhelmed so I thought a planner would be perfect,” she whines into the phone. “I know, girl! If you can wait until my exams are done, I’ll go through each step with you, we can make a plan together,” I tell her. “Oh, I would love that. You’re a lifesaver,” she sounds relieved. After several minutes, I have to tell her I need to study. Hopefully, I was able to set her mind at ease until we get together.
I’ve only been through half a page when Grace stops by asking for help with her new decor. Although she’s still looking for a new house, she’s been excited thinking she’ll get brand new furniture. I taught her how to use Pinterest for inspiration, she’s been pinning ideas like a madwoman. I’m usually happy to assist her but my stress level goes up thinking I still have an assignment due before tomorrow. I try not to let it show, I know she’s been lonely without her husband, the least I can do is be there for whatever she needs.
A few hours later, after making sure dinner will be ready for Ryan who should be here any minute now, I sit on the couch with my laptop putting the finishing touch to my work. He walks in and comes to meet me. With a swift kiss to my cheek, he starts kneading my neck. “You’re so tense, baby,” he confirms what I already knew. “I know it’s been a long day, dinner is ready for you,” I groan. He moves the laptop away and leads me to the kitchen ignoring my protests and insisting I eat with him. He even plates the food for me, bringing it to the table for us to enjoy together. I’ll never know how I got so lucky but I’m grateful for him. His brown hair is all over the place, probably from a scene where he had to fight someone. His muscular body is changing, getting even more toned now that he’s training every day and I’m liking it. The way his biceps contract as he brings the fork to his lips is making me drool.
He lets me go back to my laptop after dinner, taking the opportunity to play some game with his friends. Finally satisfied with what I worked on, I submitted it to my online teacher. A set of arms lifted me off the couch taking me to bed, I guess I must have fallen asleep. “I didn’t mean to wake you up. Close your eyes,” he says as he removes my clothes. I drift off in no time.