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A month later

I’m working on an assignment when a call from my doctor’s office interrupts me to request me to make an appointment. The fact that I’ve been feeling fine and had some tests done not too long ago leaves me puzzled. Ryan has been filming in London which has been convenient for us since we have a flat here but it also means I’ll have to go to Montreal on my own for the appointment. Although I try to focus on my task, the rest of the day seems to drag on.

I’m vaguely aware that Ryan walked in a few hours later until he stands behind my chair. “Are you done so we can have dinner?” he asks me. “Crap!” I forgot to plan for dinner again. Luckily, Ryan isn’t the type of guy who expects his wife to cook for him all the time. Stressed out I run a hand on my neck sighing. “I need a minute to figure out something to cook quickly. I’m turning into a horrible wife!” I whine. His cold fingers touch my neck moving my hand away, he starts massaging me. I express my gratitude for his hands that are slowly turning me to putty. There’s a direct line between his action to my inner spot but I ignore it feeling guilty for not fixing dinner. “Let’s order something, baby,” he whispers in my ear. “In a minute, keep going, please,” I move my hair to the side giving him better access. His large, skilled, hands run across my neck and back, kneading and working in circles. After several minutes, I capture one of them bringing it to my lips where I plant a soft kiss thanking him.

“What’s bothering you? He asks in the middle of dinner, surprising me.
“My doctor’s office called, she asked to see me. I’ll have to fly out after tomorrow.”
“What’s going on? Have you been having issues?” His green eyes are filled with worries.
“I don’t know. I’m feeling fine and she didn’t say why,” I look down at my food.
“Should I try to come with you? I don’t like sending you alone,”
“No, you have to work, I’ll be fine. I texted Emma and she’s happy to be able to see me,”

I returned the favor by giving him a massage as we’re watching tv. Running my hands on his muscular shoulders I sit here thinking about the doctor’s motive to see me. “Did they find anything from the tests I ran? I can’t be that sick if I don’t have symptoms, right?” After a while, Ryan rests his head on my chest bringing my arms around him. All my worries fade away as I breathe in his scent, his body is warm against mine. “I love you so much,” I remind him. “I love you, baby,” he turns his head to kiss me softly.

Two days later
The great thing about having online classes is the opportunity to study and do homework whenever and wherever I want to. Sitting at the airport after our flight has been delayed seems to be the perfect timing for me to read a document in preparation for my next assignment. Max went to fetch something to eat. So far I’m enjoying what I’m learning and it’s been easy to complete my tasks. The boarding announcement comes just as I’m saving my work, feeling accomplished and ready to sit down on an airplane where I know I’ll find sleep. Emma planned a shopping spree for us; she talked about getting maternity items. I’m excited to see her belly, I’ve seen it in pictures and videos but it’ll be great to be able to hug her and feel it.

Ryan said Max could stay at our place in the guestroom instead of renting a hotel room since I’ll be here for a short time. Poor Max has been kind of down since we left Mexico and Rosa. He tried to stay in touch but she quickly stopped replying to his texts. He’s a really nice guy. I wish he could find someone to make him happy. I know what it’s like to be single. After checking with me to see if I need to go out, he goes for a nap.

My mother came over for a quick visit. Sometimes I feel like I’m neglecting her when I really don’t mean to. She got me to tell her about my life, my studies, Ryan, and our crazy schedule. I wish she’d find a man to make her happy, she’s lonely I can tell. But the cuts my dad left on her are way too deep for her to open her heart. I never realized how he affected her until Ryan mended my broken heart.

The next day
Fidgeting as I sit here in my doctor’s office waiting for her to come in, I go over scenarios; all bad ones, in my mind. “Ella! Nice to see you, Ryan isn’t with you?” she asks as she steps in. “No, he’s filming,” I force a smile. The great thing about my doctor is she never beats around the bush. A new medication that could potentially help us conceive is now available for me to try. Not what I was expecting especially since we had decided to wait before even thinking about it again. I would take a pill and would have a time frame to try and conceive. She thinks if we want to try, now would be a good time to start. My head is spinning; I wish Ryan were here. I’m warned about the after-effects which could influence my libido and my mood. “I know it’s overwhelming! But I could prescribe the medication so you can discuss it with Ryan before you make your decision,” She smiles at me. I’m relieved I’ll have time to talk to him before actually starting the treatment if we decide to go ahead with it. She explains all details of what I’m supposed to do for the treatment to potentially work. As much as I enjoy making love, the idea of having to do it during a specific window sounds unnatural. It sounds more like us doing the deets instead of us making love. By the time I come out of the office, I have a headache.

Luckily, Emma had Tylenol and was the perfect cure to help my state of mind that was all over the place. I couldn’t stop gushing over her adorable baby bump. Max and I helped with her bags even after she said she could carry them.

Emma did inquire about my health expressing concerns, I guess needing to fly to Montreal for an appointment does make it sound important. My reply didn’t give much detail, only mentioning the blood work that was requested by my doctor, as I want to discuss the matter with Ryan first. Sometimes it feels strange not sharing everything with my friends. I still tell them a lot but some aspects are personal to Ryan and me. I assume they also have things they keep private. I’m anxious to go back to London tomorrow for him to share his feelings with me.
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