Practically running to the door of our flat, I enter, eager to see my beautiful Ella. She refused to give me the details of her appointment saying we need to talk about it face to face, making me nervous. I find her in the guestroom where she has her study station set up. Standing up she meets me halfway by the bed. Shivers run down her body as I hold her tightly. “Baby, what’s wrong?” I ask. “I need to ask you something first,” she leads me to sit on the bed. Her brown eyes are filled with worries. I see her taking a deep breath and then she looks deep into my eyes. “How are you feeling? How’s your therapy going now that your dad passed?” she asks and I’m confused. Unsure of where this is going, I assure her that I’m stronger than ever, it has been tough dealing with his death but I’ve been talking about it in therapy and it has been helpful. She knows how our couple therapy is going, obviously, but I’ve been dealing with things related to my dad and mum during my personal consultations. “Why is she asking about it when we’re supposed to be talking about her appointment?” I wonder. “The doctor told me about a new treatment. Something that could help us conceive...if...umm…” she trails off. She’s scared I can tell and now I understand why she inquired about my mental struggles. Her last pregnancy ended terribly with me putting her through a lot of heartaches because of it. I won’t go down that path again. I need her to decide without fear of me being a dick if things go wrong a second time. “Is it something you want to try?” I tread lightly. “You first. Tell me how you feel about it, please,” she pleads with me. Her small hands are shaking on her lap, I take one into mine and draw circles on her smooth skin. “I’m open to doing whatever you want to do. I love you, Ella. If you think now is a good time and if you want to try to conceive, I’ll do it. No pressure. Besides, I’m always thrilled to make love to you,” I laugh, hoping to ease the tension in the room. She laughs but then I see the wheels turning in her brain again. She fills me in on the details of the treatment, what is needed to make it work, and what could happen to her physically and emotionally. “My doctor said now would be a good time to try so I guess…” her voice fades away without completing her sentence. I know she worries about me as usual but there’s something else. Something she’s not letting me pick up on. Gently, I bring her on my lap and make her look up so I can see her eyes. “Let it out,” I say. “I’m scared! We’re doing great but it’s only been a month since tragedies stopped coming at us. I love our bubble right now. You get to do what you love, I’m doing something I love. We’re together almost every day. Our families and friends are happy. Our sex life is mind-blowing! I’m not sure I want to risk any of it but then if we want a chance at having a child, now would be the time.” She’s out of breath by the end of her rant. “Maybe we could give ourselves a three months trial. If it works, it works. We won’t tell anyone right away and go from there,” I suggest. “Okay,” she nuzzles her nose into my neck, it feels cold against my skin.
The window period she talked about worries me a little bit. My work doesn’t always allow me to be there when she needs me to but I’m willing to try and make it work for her. She said she’d start taking the pill in three days once her period is over. It’s making her overly emotional right now. Consultations with all of our therapists have also been scheduled. I remember a time when Ella and I didn’t like the idea of therapy and now we’re having them regularly. She’ll be an amazing therapist herself.
The coincidence of her doctor bringing up a new treatment with me secretly planning on buying a house as a surprise is kind of perfect. Mum and I have been looking at houses and I thought it was time for an upgrade to our flat. I figured we would start with one in London where my mum can help me with the whole process. I still have another month of shooting here which is convenient for the search. I told Ella that my mum required my help, that way she doesn’t question me when I go for showings. Charlotte, our realtor is confident we can both find what we’re looking for quickly.
Later at night, Ella interrupts my gaming session telling Alex I’ll be back later. “Baby, do you love me?” she bats her lashes. “What do you want?” I laugh. With her knee between my legs, she gets closer. “Go get me a cheesecake! Please!” her puppy eyes are begging me. “Cheesecake? Are you having cravings already?” I tap my finger on her nose, she glares at me. “Oh right, it’s that grumpy, always hungry, time of the month. I’ll ring Cooper and we will find cheesecake for my sexy wife. And then I want you to wrap your lips on me,” I run my thumb on her bottom lip. I very rarely ask her for blow jobs during her period but her tight black pants make her bum look amazing. The zipper of my pants is pressing on my raging hardon begging for release. Her lips part for her to suck on my thumb, her eyes are hooded. “Fuck! Let go if you want your cheesecake,” I pull my hand away, she bursts into giggles, one of my favorite sounds of hers aside from the ones she produces during our lovemaking.