It's been a two months and a week since I've been living here and nearly a month since I did my reckless move on Lenora. Lenora basically ignored me and wouldn't face me for a full three weeks after that night and that's when regret hit. I really liked her a lot but me fulfilling my desires and dare I say lust were not worth losing her friendship. Yes, I take Emma to kindergarten and back and our relationship has grown stronger since then because Lenora didn't interfere in it because of my foolish actions, but I clearly got the message that she didn't feel the same way about me as I do her that night.
But atleast she's been civil with me otherwise. I mean, she would still give me curt nods of recognition if we passed one another in the halls or something but her usual brightness was just a memory to me until a couple of weeks back.
She now softly smiled at me when she saw me in the hallways but she never interacts or converses with me aside a smile and a hello. Her smiles are always forced towards me compared to all the genuine ones everyone else in this house gets and it stings, but I can't complain. I laid that bed myself so now I must sleep on it. I am reaping what I've sowed as painful as it is. Atleast that dark glimmer from that night has slowly disappeared as the time went on, but she still remained somber towards me, regardless of her smiled and civil attitude towards me.
With a sigh, I got off my bed. Time to get ready for the day. I quickly made my bed before going to my bathroom and taking a short, 7 minutes long shower.
I applied some lotion and towel dried my hair even further before dropping the towel into the towel hamper in the bathroom. The last time I hung it to dry, Blake nearly killed me.
I walked back into the bedroom with a white towel wrapped around my waist. You never know when someone might decide to either barge into the room or knock at the door.
See what I mean.
"Come in." I called, holding the towel to make sure that it was secure enough.
The door slowly opened to a face I did not expect in the least.
"Oh my," Lenora softly whispered at the sight of me only in my towel, before hastily turning around," I'm so sorry to bother you and catch you in such an inappropriate state. I just wanted to give you something as a thank you for all you've done for Emma. I'll just leave it here." She said, placing a gift bag, I had not seen before, onto the carpeted floor before straightening up," Once again, I apologize for my bad timing." She softly said before rushing out of the room and closing the door behind her. Her hasty footsteps could be heard as the clicks of her heels disappeared down the grand staircase.
A huge part of me felt happy to see her and for her to say something more than just a greeting for the first time in weeks. Her cute reaction towards my partially naked state awoke a feeling of joy. I would go around partially naked anytime and any day for her to go back to being the same way she was before I messed up.
I slowly made my way to the rich, silver gift bag. It spoke volumes of her wealth just by the intricate designs on it. Even the paper looked more expensive than a normal gift bag's paper would be. This is one of the first few things that I've seen owned by Lenora that showcased a crumb of her wealth. In all honesty, it intimidated me more than anything. It showed how far apart our world's are, how different our status' are and overall, it showed how impossible it is for our world's to ever collide. For our world's to ever meet at equilibrium.
It emphasized just how much of a dream it is of us to ever be together on my behalf. I was totally outmatched by her and that's the hard truth.
I picked up the paper bag and walked to my neatly made bed. I gently placed the paper bag down onto the bouncy but stern surface of the bed, being careful as not to break anything that actually might be breakable in the paper bag.
I stuck my hand inside and pulled out the first neatly wrapped rectangular shaped box. I hate to admit, but I savagely pulled off the gift wrap with no remorse until I was greeted by a picture of a phone.
"It couldn't be." I mumbled in disbelief.
I carefully pulled the box open and there inside of it lay a brand new, iPhone 12 Pro. I have only ever seen this phone on commercials while still at home, but I never ever dreamt of owning it. Not only because of how expensive it was, but also because of the indirect message it sent, just at its sight.
I carefully closed the box before putting it back in the paper bag. There is no way I'm accepting such an expensive accessory. I dug my hand back into the paper bag and pulled out a much smaller box. I pulled off the cover in the same manner as I had done with the first one, just to find a matching Apple watch. I closed the box and put the box back inside as well. Just as I stood up, I spotted a small piece of paper laying in the paper bag. I raise my eyebrow questioningly, what it was about. Nevertheless, I pulled the small piece of paper out and began reading.
I would like to thank you for everything you've done for Emma these past couple of months. You continuously gave her the attention that she not only needed but still needs which I unfortunately failed to do.
I would also like to apologize for my attitude towards you for the past couple of weeks. I know it was terribly uncalled for and most definitely unneeded but it just brought to many memories to me that I am not ready to face as of yet.
London, you're one of the kindest man I've ever met but I don't think that you and I can ever be anytime soon. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. My mind was just clouded by desire and I misjudged the situation without properly thinking and for that I apologize as I was also at fault for allowing you that night.
I might not be the one for you, but I have no doubt that you'll find the one one day.
I hope you find your gifts to your liking and thank you once more.
My eyes kept on going over the neatly written later as my heart kept breaking from each word I read. I can't believe that she rejected me with a letter instead of facing me and telling me face to face. I don't know what I should feel more, hurt or anger. Hurt at her words and anger for her chosen way of sending them.
I hastily walked to my closet and picked out a white muscle tee that showcased my newly created muscles and packs. Yeah, once I learnt that Lenora had a gym, I started exercising in the morning after dropping Emma off at school. I'm not buff, but I'm pretty muscular now and my muscles go with my tall stature so I'm pleased. Either way, back to my clothes, I also picked out my knee length, sky blue with a faded white at the bottom, jean shorts. Lastly, I pulled on my white sneakers to complete the look. I ran a quick brush over my midnight black hair but somewhat still let it remain messy, I guess you could say in the, 'I just woke up' look. Without even further inspection of my myself, I grabbed my wallet, regardless of how empty it currently was and stuffed it in my back pocket before grabbing the gift bag and leaving my room and rushing downstairs.
I walked into the kitchen, making everyone look my way. A wolf whistle sounded from one of the ladies, just as Emma ran to me.
"London, you definitely clean up well." Complimented Sophia with a wink making me turn into a large tomato," Awe, look how cute he is, he's blushing." She cooed, making the blush and heat on my face increase.
"Man, you look hot, females will be gawking at you today again." Courtney smirked.
"You're definitely a chick magnet, London." Said Blake in agreement before letting out another wolf whistle.
That's when I noticed the gentle tugging on my jeans, reminding of little Emma.
"Yes Baby Girl?" I finally replied seeing as her face was starting to turn into one of utter irritation.
"You look Pretty, London," She complimented making my heart melt at her words. Her words do weigh a lot of weight on me as well, no matter how young she is," London, what does Miss Blake mean by 'chick magnet' ?" She asked.
Everyone turned around and started lightly whistling, bluntly leaving me to deal with the problem they'd caused.
"Well you see, a chick magnet is..." I paused, trying to find a nice lie for it.
"It just means that he looks good, Baby." Came Lenora's amused voice, making us all turn towards her voice just to find her leaning on the door frame with her whole side, while folding her arms to her chest.
I smiled at her in relief and gratitude before it slipped off my face just as fast as I remembered her letter.
I gathered up all my courage and asked," May I please talk to you for a minute?"
A glimmer of nervousness appeared in her eyes, as small as it was it appeared much clearer than it did on her face where she concealed it perfectly with a soft smile.
"Sure. My office or the hall? I'm in a bit of a hurry though." She added.
"It won't be long." I assured, feigning a small smile when all I wanted to do was frown.
"Alright." She said before turning around and heading down the hallway.
I rushed to catch up with her before gently but firmly grabbing her wrist, making her turn to me questioningly.
"This is fine." I said.
She nodded at me unsurely before asking," So what is it that you'd like to talk about?"
"These," I lifted the gift bag," I can't accept them, not only because they aren't my style but also because of their worth. An Android would have sufficed. Also the note, Lenora why couldn't you say that all directly to my face, giving me a letter is just as good as sending me a text. Did you not consider my feeling at all?"
Her face did not waver at all, it stayed controlled and calm, just like a businesswoman's should be, I presume.
"London, I assure you I meant you no harm. It's just that, to be honest, I was not strong enough to come and tell you face to face. I couldn't bare to be the cause of a face that I now know I would have seen. I'm sorry, London." She softly said in a controlled voice that matches her earlier mask which had cracked as her true feelings were starting to show. Fear and guilt.
"Alright then, say everything you said in this letter to me right now. Face to face." I said, folding my arms and raising an eyebrow.
"London," She started, not even looking up at me in the eyes. She took another second before looking up into my eyes with a somber look," You and I can never be. I'm not the one for you and you're not the one for me. You and I are in two different worlds, worlds that will never collide not complement each other. We're not compatible and I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong signals. I'm really sorry." She said.
Those words took my strength and my breath away. I felt like I couldn't breath, like a heavy weight had been placed on my chest. My heart broke as an ache grew in my chest.
A soft hand gently slipped the gift bag from my hand before I heard Lenora's soft, but slightly guilt laced voice say," I'll get these changed for you. You should have your new items later this evening and please ask Emily to take you to the bank to open an Account today? It's crucial that you do. Enjoy the rest of your day, Mr Carson." After that, her heels clicked further and further away before disappearing into the kitchen. After a couple of seconds or minutes, I heard them make their way to the main door before disappearing outside.
I don't know how long I stood frozen there, feeling helpless and lost but by the time I went to the kitchen, it was time to take Emma to school. Emma kept on excitedly taking my ear off all the way to kindergarten and I would half-heartedly chuckle and nod where appropriate but my mind was never completely on her. I dropped her off and just as Courtney had said, women even the married ones stared at me and as usual, I ignored their predatory, repulsing gazes. To how they can be married to someone but still want another is beyond me.
Just as asked, I asked Emily, the driver and bodyguard to take me to the bank after dropping Courtney off at the house. I quickly got my business done before going back home and punching the punching bag until my knuckles bled. The ache in my chest never going away even as my knuckles pained. In fact, my knuckles pain was more of a tickle to me than the ache I had in my chest.
Cleo found me bleeding in the gym after hours of punching the punching bag and changing it a couple of times. She looked at me with concern even as she dressed my wounds, but I just smiled at her dismissively, reassuring her that I had just overdone it today and nothing else.
The time to fetch Emma finally came and as usual, she happily jumped into my arms and kissed my cheek before I kissed hers just as affectionately. But when we got to the car and she noticed my bandages, she got so worried that tears even pooled into her hazel orbs and I got filled with guilt. I never wanted to make her cry and just today I did. After much apologizing, promising to never overdo it again and cooing, she finally calmed down before falling asleep as usual.
When I got to the house, I put her down for her nap before going downstairs to the kitchen. That's where Blake excitedly gave me another gift bag, I softly smiled at her in gratitude before slowly opening it and this time I found a Samsung Galaxy A21. As much as I was pleased with this one, the happiness at receiving it was nonexistent. My second gift turned out to be a Puma, brown, leather wallet. What I found inside was the first thing to completely surprise me today, there was a black gift card to one of the male clothing shops I buy from, however, luckily there was no letter this time.
We ate dinner at six thirty as usual, but for once, I fell asleep almost an hour after dinner. The rollercoaster ride I had been on today had drained more energy from me than I had thought.