1 ." upon my arrival I whisper walked"
The air inside the car seems to become heavier with the warm breaths of our passion and want for each other,the windows clouding over, becoming smokey with our arousal and erose.
As my lips are met by another soft but demanding one, I let out the moan, I was trying to control for such a long time while his hands slipped inside my shirt, tugging it up, ..his cold fingers burning the hot skin of my naked stomach... let them scar, my own thoughts scare me, they say shamelessly,let them burn and scar for the whole world to see, then may be, only then he will be mine and no one elses.
Amidst my tears which fall by the pleasure of the forbidden, I let his tongue tangle mine in uninhibited passion that fuels inside of me.
A whiff of cigerette smell,a hint of musk, all of them, every touch, every sense, screaming the elder's name, my Mehk, surrounds me, intoxicating me, drowning me deep.
I close my eyes savouring the long awaited bliss,his lips on mine,as he breaks the kiss I whine, but whispers upon my lips, recapturing and engulfing my soft whimpers the very next moment,
" Nyle..oh, my Nyle...."
His splayed fingers crawl up and I can feel my nipples hardening, anticipating the desired touch as one hand moves south sending jolts to the place I am ashamed to even think,the virgin me in everything wants to stop him,the shameless me..
A loud mobile musical ringtone and an exasperated man sighs and stops wriiting on his laptop.
" Shit! Not again, please I am trying to write here, my readers want update, and already I am behind schedule."
But looking at the number blinking, the man stops his angry mutterings about nosey people disturbing his precious Sunday writing time,and picks up the call only to cringe away from it the very next moment.
" Sam! hello to you too! Hey man! Hey please calm down, stop shouting will you? Seriously Sam, I am not able to understand a single word out of all the word vomit you just subjected me to, except the one word brother!"
" Calm down!!! Did you say calm down??! How the fuck should I calm down!?
The last 'tonight' almost pierces the man addressed as Mich's eardrum and he is forced to place the mobile a little away from his ears, again sighing.
He knows but, it's extremely rare for Sam to loose his cool or shout like a mad man like that, so the man called as Mich tries to cajole in a soothing voice,though inside the tanned man himself has gotten increasingly worried too as the crux of the matter has sunk in.
" Wait, do you really mean that your younger brother Felix is coming here, that too tomorrow!?
"Why is he such a callous moron!"
The young exasperated writer, rudely interrupted in his romance scene, retorts only to be met with a whinny voice of Sam on the other side of the mobile line.
" Pls Mich"
"Sorry Sam,ok,ok, I will not curse him.
You do already know,you really cannot alter his decision Sam, Your young bro is one adamant fellow!
Sam sighs equally loudly, this time when he speaks, his voice pensive and hesitant.
" Mich, I do comprehend everything,..but...but you know how is he, his limitations and immaturity. What am I supposed to do, I can't come with him, he made sure of that fact. And can't come even later, not for three months atleast.
" What is it Sam, is something else bothering you, tell me clearly." Mich can feel the hesitation in Sam's words.
" Mich in crux, I don't trust this new friend of Felix. Period. My bro needs someone dependable. He needs to be taken care of and that young man seems naive and non dependable. Ahm, is it possible,.if, I mean."
" Sam, what is it you want from me, pls don't hesitate, you are just wasting both of our times, your younger brother, he is also my responsibility. Don't worry, I will get him a good apartment near me,he doesn't have to stay with that so called friend."
" I know it's selfish and I know it's sudden, but if I can convince him, can he stay with you until I can come. I will sleep peacefully at night if he is with you and not alone in that new country,he doesn't even know the language well and when Felix kind of settles down there, he can start to live with his friends or something.
" You know me, Sam, I have my own busy schedule and my lifestyle is extremely private. If he is fine with that,he can definitely stay with me, I have no problem,my apartment is big enough for two and I understand completely that it will put your heart at ease for now. So it's yes from my side."
" Thanks Mich, you are a life saver. Thank you so much, you have constantly been my rock."
" Like the way you are to me Sam, we are best friends after all..don't worry convince him first and then, just send me his arrival time for tomorrow, I will pick him up from the airport.what course is he taking?"
" Mechanical engineering, just like you."
Mich,tries to hide the sense of unease from his voice at the thoughts of the younger, a stubborn teenager, arriving tomorrow and jeopardizing his routine bound life as he puts the phone down after a few more casual words exchanged.
On the other hand , almost 7000kms away, Sam, the elder brother, feels immense relief as well as guilt for putting his best friend in such a tricky position, so suddenly.
Mich, has always been like that, his problem solver,his go to guy. He has continued making Sam feel gratitude and sense of peace at every untoward turn of events in their friendship history. He remembers the end of phone call conversations. And a smile automatically tugs at his lips.
" Tell him I can even tutor him in language and help in college work too if he wants, the first few months will be tough. Sam, you always say he is very serious about his grades. I don't think he can counteract this argument with his inherent bullheadednes."
" Ok Mich thank you, thank you so much.I owe you so many things and this just adds to the long, long list of 'I owe yous'..."
" How many more times are you going to say thanks Sam! Come on, our "owe yous'" go both ways, my list is quite long too,but who's counting Now, pls let me go back to my lazy Sunday morning routine and if I discover your panicked screaming earlier has caused permanent damage to my right ear, you can add to your so called list, my doctor's fees too."
The has tension definitely has melted in Sam's heart as he has left the phone, his smile inadvertently becoming broader on his pensive face which again drops as he looks up at the room of his younger bro.
Mandy, Sam's wife who had followed her husband with the dinner tray smiles a reassuring smile at her husband signalling him again to knock.
The younger had refused to share a meal with them and Mandy doesn't want the night before the long separation between brothers to be spent like this,she agrees her husband's reaction are not unjustified, but his shouting earlier that,
Mich's assurance which she gathered from following one side of the conversation between them, has definitely eased her own heart too, but now the big obstacle of the younger agreeing remains. A huge obstacle!
" Feli,pls open the door,..I ..I..pls..we need to talk,...
Mandy smiles as the door rattles open by the elder brother's tear stained broken voice immediately..
" Feli dear, dinner."
Mandy singsongs as she just brushes past both the brothers facing each other silently, tears glazed similar brown eyes locked in a staring contest. She places the dinner tray on the small table in the room.
" Now first eat both of you. Even Sam didn't eat. ..And Feli, that was a douche move. You boarding the flight tomorrow and informing us tonight."
" You know the reason why phi Mandy. It's not like Sam san would have been super all accepting, if I had told before, Infact I am sure, I couldn't have even applied for that college let alone,going there and studying."
" Agreed! So let's have dinner,no more sulking baby bro. Your bro Sam is ok now about your leaving..since you will be staying with Micheal san."
" With Micheal, you mean Mich!!!! How when, what the actual fuc.. .."
"Fish dear fish, and Yes, and yes. All answers in due time.Let's have a happy family parting dinner first and then I will help you pack your messy bags."
The long flight I have spent half sleeping and half dozing comes to an end, as the pilot announces the arrival to the destination. I don't know what to feel when the airline assistants come towards me one carrying my two luggages and another waiting to help me to deboard.
The thoughts about meeting phi Kongpob whom I have not seen for around five years, my brother's so called best friend, I am forced to procrastinate again. The thoughts I was running away from, because I can unapologetically acknowledge, am too scared to explore and feel more apprehensive than I am already feeling debarking on this foreign land, away from my close family and friends for the very first time.
But why does Sam not let me be independent for once, and not involve Mich amidst this!
Even I have to agree staying with Noel,an online friend, might not have been a good way to convince my mother hen elder bro, sigh, it has been definitely a lame move.
But what can I do..College dorms were all full by the time my acceptance letter came and I can't afford private dorms with my mere savings. Definitely I am not taking help from my big bro on this matter, he had done enough for me through years anyways.
As I deboard and slowly approach the arrival gate with the airline assistant in tow, there he is standing, always standing out even in crowd by his height and demeneur, wearing all black ensemble like everytme I have seen him in the past, a board written welcome on it, but no welcoming smile adorning his tanned face.
Instead a steady frown keeps on growing on his forehead, as he scrutinizes me from head to toe and then takes the handle of my wheel chair from the flight assistant's hand and the information of the luggage and how it will be delivered to the awaiting car, a part of my overprotective brother's tie up for a privileged service.
Oh, did I mention why my brother is so overprotective and bonkers over me and my decision to study abroad alone.
I am paraplegic too.