Chapter Three - My Beginning
That's what I became as I was transistioning. I felt strange, weird, and deeply alone. I knew I was making the right choice as my body was slowly beginning to change. Hormones and therapy making me crazy at times, highly sensitive all the time and feeling like any little thing could suddenly set me off.
It wouldn't become too long until I didn't want to go through it anymore. I knew I had my father's support and a few friends' as well but the small town wasn't the place where I felt safe anymore. I became a target. A freak, an oddity, a stranger to everybody.
I quickly graduated from college and applied for various law firms as a legal secretary in the city, finally getting accepted at the one place who I knew was the best fit: Nomello & Gillette. I found a nice cute one bedroom apartment (where I still reside) right near the law firm downtown. I packed up all my belongings and soon I was moving to the city, away from the close-minded small town folks who had managed to alienate me.
And here I am sitting at my kitchen table four years later, smoking a menthol cigarette and cracking open a bottle of cold spring water that I got from the fridge. I try to shake the interaction with the stranger at the bar. What upset me the most wasn't the way he acted though, I'm used to that, it was the fact that I didn't get any.
I am lonely.
Tired of being single and not having anybody to come home to. As much as I enjoy hooking up with randos, I also want something more than just that. The dating pool is just kind of shallow.
It makes me think of Shane.
Shane was the first guy that I had met since moving to the city four years ago. We met at the same bar I was at earlier. He sat down next to me and quickly began chatting. I was upfront about being transgender from the start, to avoid the awkward situation of trying to explain it later. He didn't freak out like the stranger did earlier tonight. He didn't care. He thought I was cute.
I was 22 at the time and he was much older than me. I believe he was in his early 40s but I can't remember for sure. It seems like such a long time ago. A lifetime ago.
He was an accountant for a firm not too far from my job and we soon were talking about our jobs, our hobbies, and within hours, making out in his black high end luxury car that was parked in the lot up not too far from the bar.
Boy could he kiss!
He was slow and passionate, treating me the way every woman wishes to be treated. I fell for him hard and fast. His sandy brown hair neated combed to the side and his dark piercing green eyes seemed to glimmer into the faint moonlight of the night.
His taunt, athletic body drew me more and and more as I ran my long freshly painted nails across his muscular abs. He would let out long deep breaths as our tongues playfully danced in unison.
I can feel my face getting flustered just thinking about it.
How could I not?
He was fucking gorgeous in every sense of the word. The way he looked at me as I lead him back to my apartment and took him to my bedroom. The look he gave me as he unzipped my long black dress and laid me on top of my queen size bed, getting on top of me and kissing me along my entire body. The way the stubble of his 5 o'clock shadow rustled against the inner parts of my thighs, sending me over the edge of wanton desire.
I was putty in Shane's hands.
And he was going to mold me.
And he did.
Over and over again.
I was in some kind of crazy zone I guess.
I could feel his strong hands rest on my shoulders as I sucked him up and down at a moderate pace until he begged me stop, not wanting to let his load go too early. He wasn't in any kind of rush he explained. He was single too, not one of those married men looking for a booty call on the side.
No, he was hot and on the market.
I grabbed a large pillow and he slid it under my back and slowly removed my black lace panties down my long bare legs before tossing them onto the off white carpetting below. I reached into my lampstand and grabbed the small bottle of lubricate which he quickly open, lightly applying to my tight puckered "pussy" before smearing some across his thick and hardened cock.
Shane lifted my plump ass up slightly as his knees braced himself against my matress before slowly working his cock inside me. He struggled slightly at first but soon the lube glided him effortlessly within a few seconds. He was a selfless lover, taking his time as he gentle worked his way deep inside me. My body felt safe in his grasp, like we were one for just a night.
A fleeting, chance encounter.
One that sent pleasure through my entire body. He took his time, leaning and removing my bra and suckling at my breasts like a hungry beast. He wasn't ravousness upon sucking them, it was meant to bring me pleasure as much as it was him.
Waves and waves of pleasure came coursing through my thin yet curvaceous body, sending me to the brink as pre-cum oozed from my small clit like penis. I moaned and groaned in the dimly lit room as his member slid in and out and his lips finding mine.
Shane wanted me, even for just that night. He craved and desired me as he thrusted deeper and deeper, making sure to give me every bit of his 8 inches. I writhed and wiggled below him, against the pillow as he continued to pleasure my entire body until finally releasing his glorious load deep inside me.
I pawed at the comforter below as our tongues danced in unison, him ejactulating and filling me to the brim as our heavy breathing enveloped the bedroom. He didn't rush himself out of me either, no he stayed inside me as we kissed and his hand ran down gently across my cheeks. He was not only sexy but also sensual.
He stayed with my that night, us intertwined in one another until the sun rose through the blinds of my windows. We had sex 2 more times that day before he finally left in the early afternoon, after making him lunch and making idle chit-chat.
We texted for a while but never met up again.
Both of our work schedules got crazy busy and soon after we quit taking. At first I was sad that it didn't continue but soon felt lucky that I was given that time together. I heard from somebody at the bar that he moved out west a year later, taking a higher paying position and to be closer to his ailing mother.
I miss him.
I truly do.
I flick the end of my cigarette and snuff it out. Great, now I am super horny and it's after one in the morning. I begin to thumb through my phone and through the Rolodex of contacts in it.
Hundreds of names.
Most of the people aren't even ones I still talk to. Maybe I need to go through them and start deleting numbers. I am lazy though and not particularly in the mood. Not after remembering Shane, I'm in a whole other headspace now.
Thanks memory, you've done it again.