Chapter Five - My Desire
So does being horny.
"This is all quite unexpected," Walker admits as he takes a sip of his rum and coke. I grin before taking a sip of my own.
"I know. I'm sorry that it's so late."
"No, it's totally okay. Trust me."
"I just had a shitty night and wanted to spend time with somebody I actually want to," I continue, sipping on the mixed drink and running my long black nails along the top of the kitchen table.
"Men. That's what happened."
I toss back the rest of my drink and quickly open the bottle to pour both of us another drink. Walker smiled and I could tell that he was checking me out every opportunity that he had. I can't blame him, it was my plan. My low cut negligee showing off the crease between my full and lush breasts, my long legs just mear inches from his.
I want him to want me.
As clique as that sounds.
And trust me, I know it does.
"They think they want me. They see me in a dress, make up looking flawless as always, tempted by my allure. But when it comes down to approaching me, they seize up, spot something, and instantly become fucking assholes," I begin to spout, ranting for a moment before realizing I'm doing just that and quickly calm down.
"I'm tired of being seen as a 'Lady Boy,' a 'chick with a dick,' and actually be treated as just Lucy. Nothing more. Nothing less. Does that make any sense," I ask as I look into Walker's dark eyes.
He nods his head in aggreance.
We both finish our second drink in a flash. I am beginning to feel quite tipsy, the combination of the drinks earlier and then now are quickly catching up to me. He appears red-faced as well, the drinks are catching him off guard as well.
I pour another glass for each of us.
"Maybe it's the guys you attract. And the fact that you try to meet men in bars. It's not like you're trying to set the bar too highly," he inadvertently blurts out.
He immediately regrets what he says.
'I'm sorry," he quickly tries to backpedal.
"No, don't. You're right. My father says the same thing. It's not like there plenty of dating apps for Trans women. Or am I lucky enough to randomly find a nice gentleman at the grocery store or at the damn laundrymat or the movies."
He chuckles lightly.
"I just want to find a guy that looks at me the way that you do," I suddenly blurt out, hit with the same bluntness as Walker.
"That I do," he asks, trying to best to look confused.
I know better.
"Don't be coy," I interject.
"I see the way that you look at me."
He stammers slightly.
"Wh- what do you mean?"
I tip back of the last of my third drink and pour myself another one. I know I don't want to push him too far, scare him away by the brazen attempt of my advances. I scared others away by doing the same thing. I have seen what happens, and I don't want to go through with it ever again. Call it growth.
Call it whatever you want.
Walker empties his glass and grab the bottles and fix him right up with another drink. I can see him getting rather uncomfortable, accidentally bumping against my leg. I take a deep breath and this time I think long and hard before I continue.
"Since we met," I begin.
"Since we met I have seen you checking me out. First I just paid it little mind and figured it based solely on physical appearance, not really knowing who or what I am."
"You're a woman," he interrupts, obviously hating the 'what' part of my statement. Another thing that I love about him. He understands me and who I am. He doesn't look beyond that.
He just sees me. It is nice.
It is refreshing. It is sweet.
I take another sip and grab a cigarette from my pack.
"Do you mind," I ask before lighting it, knowing the he isn't a smoker himself. He nods his head. I light it and take a deep inhale, letting the smoke hover in the air before getting up and turning the exhaust fan on behind me that sits above the stove.
The smoke quickly disperses before I continue.
"But yes, I noticed it right away. And then I kept noticing it over and over again for the next six months," I redirect myself back to the topic at hand. I take another puff as he sits there drinking.
"I know you're attracted to me. And that's okay."
His dark eyes widen in surprise. He knew he was found out about and knew he couldn't continue to just shrug it off. I place my hand on top of his thin cotton boxer shorts and smile.
"I am attracted to you too."
Words seem to escape him. His eyes are still wide and almost glossed over like he lost some kind of consciousness. I finish my cigarette and snuff it out, my hand still gracing his leg.
"You - you are," he finally asks, still uncertain whether of not he heard me right. I nod sweetly and bite my lower lip.
He sets his glass down and leans closer to me and kisses me on the lips for the first time. His lips are soft and delicate, the light scruff of his beard tickling against my face. I feel by body melt as I open to mouth and let him slide his tongue between my lips. I lean closer to him and accept him. He gently flips his tongue under mine and lightly flutters against it playfully and delicately.
There is no turning back now.
For either of us.
He hand lightly brushes against my cheek as I tilt my head slighlty, giving him control of the moment. I know he's waited for so long to happen and I didn't want to leave him disappointed. He is what I expected, a gentle and excellent kisser, working at a slow and steady pace - neither a slight at all.
He breaks our kiss for a brief second before whispering:
I swoon for a moment before accepting his tongue back into my wanting and craving mouth. I guess brazen worked this time, I didn't scare him off. In fact he liked it.
I remember first meeting Walker.
So nervous around me. Fumbling over his words when he first saw me when he moved in. Not too many people in the building had paid me little mind and I was totally okay with that. It has always had a mixed bag of people living here, older people, younger ones like us, couples, families, and the occasional weirdo.
Those ones aren't hard to find in the city like ours. When you have hundreds and hundreds of thousands of people living basically on top of one another, you are bound to come across them more frequently than you'd want to. We have several on floor in fact.
Far more strange than the Transgender woman in apartment 42, trust me on that. The only good thing about those weirdos is that they tend to leave me alone to go about my business. It makes me laugh because I was a tall or threatening person when I was a man, in fact transistioning was made easier due to the fact that I'm on the shorter side at 5 foot 6. Still taller than a lot of women, but not an Amazonian in the slightest.
My hand slides further up his leg and against his thin boxers. My pinky runs along the edge of his hardening member, showing me that our kissing has him just as revved up as me. That makes me smile, just slightly as our tongues continue getting to know one another under the dim esthetic of the kitchen.
I can feel my heart flutter faster as my hand moves slowly to his inner sigh. I hear his breathing her heavier, a clear sign that I was doing exactly as he likes. Good. I want him to enjoy tonight.
I want him to never forget it.