Thoughts About a Sleeping Girl
Thoughts about a
I sat on the bed, next to her. She was sleeping so quietly, just barely audible breaths. I ran my fingers through her long hair, it glimmered slightly orange in the light of the settings sun. It had been a long day for her, but I had a nap so I didn’t feel tired at all. I think I could’ve just watched her sleep there for all eternity. I touched her cheeks with my fingers and whispered to her ear.
“Liz.. I… I love you.”
She twitched in her sleep. I watched and wondered how did we end up here, of all things? It’s not like we met back in school and fell in love when we were kids, nor was this a long lost teenage romance. Last year, I didn’t even know you. Was it only a year? It must have been. It felt like it had been forever, like I had known you for all of my life. But it had been a year. Only a year from the day we met on the street. I shudder when I think that it must have just been a coincidence that we bumped into each other. Just a bit of luck. If either of us had been late or early, even just for a few seconds, all of this might’ve been entirely different. No awkward pause when we bumped together, no helping each other gather our stuff. I snickered. No stupid old men bumping into us and making us fall on top of each other. Was it all just luck and coincidence? Or fate?
She turned around and I thought she’d wake up, but she was - again - talking in her sleep. I loved that part of her so much. She had these wild conversations in her sleep. I waited for what this time would bring. Would it be the Elephants in the Train again? Or perhaps arguing with a professor why panties were stupid. You never knew with her.
“Nene.. why is there cheese on the table?”
I held my breath and tried to suppress a laugh. Cheese? This was a new one. We didn’t even have cheese at home.
“Shh.. sleep now Liz, all’s well..”
“NENE, WHY IS THERE CHEESE ON THE TABLE!?”
She suddenly yelled and I almost burst out laughing and yelped. I had to rise up and cover my mouth with my hands to keep from waking her up. She fell back to sleep as suddenly as she had yelled. I watched her lie there sleeping restfully for a while, then rose up. Sleep well love, we’ll talk about cheese tomorrow. I sat into the comfy chair and thought back to a year ago while still watching her lie on the bed.
“Fuck, I can’t not think of Scorpions right now, that’s just perfect here.”
I started to softly hum the song “Are You The One” by Scorpions.
“Another rainy morning, People rushing by, My head is still in the clouds, I dream with open eyes. Suddenly out of nowhere, She came into my life. Like we know each other, For quite a while. In the sound of silence, Time is standing still. There’s some kind of bond between us, That’s givin’ me the chill…”
I smiled to myself. I just fit perfectly into this. It really was a rainy morning back then, and people were rushing by. I did walk with my head in the clouds, having just graduated and the feeling of freedom was still so intoxicating. I was probably thinking of a bright future ahead of me, when really honestly suddenly out of nowhere she came into my life. So suddenly I walked straight into her. My stuff, her stuff, everything went everywhere. I smiled when I remembered her frantic apologizing and panic when she tried to collect all my stuff. I did about the same with her stuff though. And then the fucker who didn’t see two inches in front of him walked straight into my back and I fell face first on top of her.
I sipped from a glass of water that was on the side table. It was really weird. I remember I had this “why the fuck I know your face” kinda moment back then. Usually people just apologize and go into their separate ways, but.. Something in her made me do what I did. After making sure she was ok, I asked if she’d come to eat with me. To this day I don’t have a real answer why I did that instead of run away red faced like I had done a gazillion times before. And I also don’t have an answer why she said yes…
I smiled at her sleeping form and took a blanket from the floor and covered myself with it. It was getting a bit chilly but as I said, I wasn’t tired at all. I gently asked the sleeping girl a stupid question.
“Heh.. Liz. Why did you say yes?”
I got no other reply except for a soft sniffle, which was okay to me anyway. The setting sun really made her red hair extra bright, it was like a field of strawberries. I sat there watching her as the sun set. Starlight made her skin look especially pale. I sighed and thought back on all the things we had done. All the dates we’ve went to, all the stupid little things we had fought about. All the warm little moments together watching movies or just listening to music. I wonder when I had fallen for you, Liz.. or was I always? I couldn’t pinpoint a moment when I had realized that. But what started as awkward apologies, progressed into friendship. And after that, love. I was afraid to say it at first, but now I was so very sure. In this moment of dim starlight watching her sleep on the bed I was more sure of it than I had ever been before about anything. I loved that girl on the bed more than anything in this world.
I grabbed a crossword puzzle from the table, but couldn’t concentrate on it at all. My eyes kept wandering to her sleeping form and my mind kept jumping from one thing to another, what we had done together and how it all went down. From the first awkward lunch, to the promise of another. From the first email to all the phone calls. From the first shopping trip to all the dates to movies and parks. From the first time we held hands to the numerous kisses under the summer sky. How am I so lucky? To have you here, with me.
I sat there in my thoughts for a while. I sipped the water and watched the moonlight caress her hair. It was such a short time since I first kissed your lips. Such a short time since I first held you in my arms under the summer moon and we joined together. Such a short time since I realized I had utterly and completely fallen for you. But.. you were beautiful, talented, wise. You can craft anything you want. You can paint anything you want. Your ability to see beauty in all things is really something. What did you see in me? In the blonde nerdy girl with glasses who just played games and wrote stupid code. What does someone like you see in me?
“Why did you say yes…?”
I asked her softly, for the hundredth time. I don’t think I’ll ever get an answer to that, but I’m not even sure I want one. It is enough for me that you see something in me. Something worth being with me. Something that only you can see. I watched the stars travel across the sky. I remembered the first time I said “I Love You” to her. Under that August sky, behind the trees at the park. She smiled at me with that warm and wide smile of hers. She blushed slightly and said “I figured. I can read you better than you can yourself. I love you too my little gift.” I would always remember that short moment within my heart.
I rose up from the chair and made my way to the bed too. I lay down beside her and turned on my side so I could see her sleeping face. I gently kissed her forehead and covered myself with the blanket too. I think I’ll try to get some sleep too and it’s so easy to sleep next to you. I love you with all my heart. She extended an arm and pulled me close to her. She whispered into my ear.
“Because it was you.”
I fell asleep happier than I had ever been.