We leave before the boys come back. I decide that Sinn and I will just have to talk this evening, when we’re getting ready to go out.
I don’t receive any texts from him, and despite being really anxious to see him and talk to him, I’ve got my pride, so I don’t text him either. He doesn’t need to know how much I like him yet.
Courtney and I shop for a couple of hours, stopping for lunch in a cute brasserie. I buy a new dress for tonight, choosing a black one. It seems to be Sinn’s favourite colour, and it’s also the most slimming one.
We hang out together a bit longer and Courtney drives us back to my house just after five PM. She’s brought all her stuff round so that we can get ready together.
As we step through the door, the boys come downstairs, all five of them. They smell like a walking cologne commercial and all have their hair styled and sprayed.
My eyes catch Sinn’s, he looks hesitant for a moment and then smiles.
‘See you at the bar, we’re off early,’ Micah announces.
He kisses Courtney, which is followed by a round of wolf whistles and childish noises. The guys all trail outside to where a taxi is waiting.
I watch as Sinn doesn’t spare another glance at me and gets into the taxi with everyone else.
Guess we’ll talk about the kiss tomorrow then.
I feel a bit disappointed, but I’m excited for the night out. Courtney comes up to my room, we get the music on and I forget all about Sinn for a little while.
We take a taxi to the bar two hours later, not wanting to arrive too early because we both admit to being lightweights. The boys can start drinking at five, but we all saw what happened last night when we tried it. I don’t want to peak too early.
We enter the bar and Courtney spots them at the back, they’ve managed to get our usual table. They’re laughing and chatting as we come over.
Micah spots Courtney and comes over to hug and kiss her. I’ve never seen him like this before, it’s great.
I catch Sinn’s eyes again and he gives me a brief smile before returning to his conversation with Jett.
Kyle comes over. I manage to dodge him when he tries to peck my lips so he gets cheek this time. He pouts about it but we end up having a fun conversation.
I go to the bar with Kyle and we get our drinks. I spend the next hour chatting with him and Tamas.
My ears prick up when I hear my delightful brother say, ‘Hey, it’s that hot chick that came into your parlour the other day.’
I look over to see Micah and Sinn both staring in the direction of the bar. I follow their gaze to see a girl with straight black hair, cut in a bob, and a killer body stood by the bar. Wearing high black stilettos, tight black jeans and glittery crop-top, she looks incredible. She has a tiny waist and a fat ass.
Basically, a better version of my figure.
I subtly glance back to Sinn to see his reaction. To my relief, he shrugs and gets back into conversation with Micah.
We’re at the bar nearly two hours and I still haven’t spoken to Sinn. I’m actually proud that tipsy me has so much self-restraint, but I think I’m worried about embarrassing myself or coming over clingy.
I’m clingy person, but he doesn’t need to know that until it’s too late, right?
I get another drink and realise that all this alcohol is going to have to come out at some point, I give my drink to Kyle to watch and go to the back of the building to find the lady’s room.
I round the corner and see Micah and Sinn at the end of the corridor, looking angry at each other.
‘I’m not trying to be a dick man,’ Sinn protests, ’I’m just saying, does she have to come on every night out? I feel like she’s always there.′
‘She’s my sister,’ Micah snaps and I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut.
I stumble to the side, grateful that neither of them noticed me.
Part of me doesn’t want to hear any more, but I lean against the wall and listen intently.
‘Of course she’s gonna come out with us, you’ve got to remember she was friends with these guys before you were,’ Micah defends me and I’m touched, that’s good of him.
‘I know, man. I’m sorry. It’s just...I need a night out where she’s not here, you know? Courtney as well, we need a boys night,’ he says and I don’t want to hear the rest.
I stumble back to the table and get my phone out. I pretend to be on it so that no one talks to me, but I feel so embarrassed.
He doesn’t want me here?
Why didn’t he just say if he didn’t want me out with him all the time?
Why doesn’t he want me here?
It’s not like I get in his way or cling to him all night, I haven’t even spoken to him!
My hurt becomes anger and I grab my drink off Kyle and down it.
‘Whoa, that’s my girl!’ Jett grins. I grab his hand and drag him to the bar.
‘Are you alright?’ He asks worriedly when he sees my thunderous expression.
I watch as Micah and Sinn emerge from the corridor.
‘Great, thanks.’ I force a smile.
I’ve just done a shot with Jett, when Courtney comes over.
‘Come on, dance with me!’ She giggles and takes my hand.
You know what?
I’m going to dance and drink and enjoy my night because it’s my choice to be here, no one else’s.
‘The boys are wasted, I need you to dance with me,’ she implores.
I look over at the table and see that in fact, the boys do look hammered. Even Sinn.
God that was quick, they seemed fine a little while ago.
I eye the tray of empty shot glasses on the table, that explains it.
I dance with Courtney until I’m sticky and breathless. We laugh and gyrate in sync, getting lost in the crowd.
I glance back over to the table and my heart sinks when I see Sinn talking to the ‘hot chick’ from the parlour. He’s brought her over to our table.
I turn my attention back to Courtney and continue dancing, convincing myself that I don’t care. We aren’t anything but friends. Right now, I’m not even sure that we’re friends.
‘Let’s get a drink.’ I take her hand and lead her over to the bar.
As we wait in the queue, she gushes over my brother.
‘You guys are adorable, you’re honestly the best thing to happen to him,’ I admit and she hugs me.
’You’re so lovely, Lilah! And guess what? He even invited me to that ball thing, so I can finally meet your charming parents,′ she says with a grin and I smile back.
‘Poor you, please don’t leave my brother after you meet them,’ I joke and she laughs.
‘I’d never. They’ll be alright,’ she assures me and I shake my head.
‘I hope so,’ I mutter.
I look over to the table and wish to God I hadn’t.
Just like me last night, she has her fingers tangled in his hair. He has his hands on her waist.
If I felt shit before, it’s nothing compared to now.
Jealousy and hurt rushes through me.
‘Actually, forget that. I’m really not feeling well, I’m going to go home,’ I tell her and Courtney pouts.
‘Nooo, you can’t leave! Don’t leave me with those smelly boys,’ she whines.
‘I’m sorry, I feel like shit. You’ll be okay with your boyfriend.’ I hug her and she sighs.
‘Okay, I hope you feel better, gal. We’re doing this again, soon,’ she insists and I agree.
‘Hey, could you tell them I’ve gone? I don’t really wanna make a big deal out of saying goodbye,’ I ask her.
‘Of course, hun. I’ll see you tomorrow.’ She kisses my cheeks and I hurriedly get my jacket from the cloakroom.
I step out into the cool night air, feeling like a massive idiot.
What a fool I was to think Sinn would want me.
I get a taxi home and let myself into the empty house.
Ten minutes later, I snuggle under the duvet and decide that sleep is the only option.
Due to my early-ish night, I wake up at nine AM and take a shower. After putting on some comfortable clothes, I go downstairs, my stomach growling loudly.
I freeze on the bottom step when my gaze lands on the shoes by the door.
Next to Sinn’s Vans that he was wearing last night, are a pair of black stiletto heels.
My stomach churns queasily and I force myself to look away from them.
If he’s fucked her...I guess he has every right to. We never discussed anything.
It was just a kiss Lilah, grow the fuck up.
I curse myself for catching feelings so easily and make myself some breakfast. I take it back to my room, not wanting to bump into anyone.
I hear everyone get up around 10. Knowing that I don’t want to be anywhere near Sinn, not after what he said last night about me always being around, I decide to go out.
I do my make-up and get dressed, I grab my handbag and tiptoe quietly downstairs.
Courtney smiles and comes out of the living room holding her bag.
‘The boys are having breakfast outside. I start my shift in an hour so I was just leaving, need a lift?’ She asks when she sees my hand on the front door handle.
‘Thank you, but it’s okay. I’m gonna drive over to Kira’s and see how her date was,’ I reply and force a smile.
‘Ooo, text me if there’s any goss!’ She replies.
I watch, with indescribable relief, as she grabs the black heels and puts them in her bag.
Not that girl’s.
Thank you, Jesus.
I manage to spend the majority of the day with Kira, I even manage to convince her to let me cook dinner for us both.
‘You really don’t want to go back there, do you?’ She says with amusement as we eat our chicken.
‘No, would you?’ I scowl. ’I mean, not only did he say he liked me and then imply that we need to talk about us, he then told my brother that it’s annoying that I’m always on nights out, how embarrassing is that for me? I’ve been hanging around him when the whole time he didn’t even want me there,′ I groan.
‘I don’t believe that for one second. Why would he say he liked you and then say that to your brother?’ Kira shakes her head in disbelief.
‘To get into my pants? Maybe he’s used to telling girls what they want to hear until he gets what he wants. Remember I met that Jess girl in town that he ghosted.’ I shudder at the idea.
What if he was using me?
‘I really think you need to hear it from him, tell him what you heard and have a go at him for it. He’s an ass for saying that.’
I agree with her, but I haven’t got it in me tonight. I drive back to the house after dinner and quietly let myself in.
‘Lilah?’ Micah calls out when I shut the door.
Damn, apparently not so quietly.
‘Yeah, I’m home,’ I call back, hoping he won’t say anything else.
On hearing my voice, Sinn steps out of the kitchen and into the corridor. We lock eyes for a moment.
‘Lilah, can we-’ he starts but I ignore him.
I turn away from him and force myself to keep my face blank as I walk up the stairs away from him.
Suck on that, dickhead.
I shut my bedroom door and breathe a sigh of relief.