I open up the Uber app and it crashes. I close it down and open it again; it crashes. Cursing, I restart my phone.
I tuck into the side of the street and rest my weight against a wall.
Stupid tears prick my eyes, damn period hormones. I start my period tomorrow and I’m always emotional near my period.
I know it’s silly to feel hurt, we weren’t official and I don’t even have feelings for him, but it’s hard not to feel rejected. I’m only human.
And now, I’m stuck in the middle of nowhere, with a phone that’s messing up.
I try to open the Uber app and it finally loads. I put in my address and it looks for available drivers, I curse again as it takes ages to find any.
The next available one will be another 40 minutes.
I decide to see if Micah is available, I call him but it goes to voicemail. I dial our house landline instead. My breath catches in my throat as Sinn picks up.
‘Hey, it’s me, Lilah. Is Micah home?’
‘No, he’s at Courtney’s, everything alright?’ He asks.
His voice sounds so concerned that it makes tears form in my eyes.
‘Yeah, it’s fine, no worries,’ I reply, but even I can hear how thick with emotion my voice is.
‘What’s wrong, Lils?’ He asks and a traitorous tear rolls down my cheek. I swipe it away angrily.
‘I um, something came up and Freddy had to go so I’m stuck here and there’s no Ubers, but it’s okay. I’ll wait till there’s one available,’ I tell him.
‘I’ll come and get you, where are you?’
‘No Sinn, I don’t want to make you do that, it’s fine I’ll-’
‘I’m coming, where are you?’ He cuts me off and I hear the jingle of his car keys.
I tell him the restaurant’s address and thank him repeatedly.
Fifteen minutes later, he pulls up on the street in his BMW. I know he must have raced because it took Kira nearly thirty minutes to get us here. He gets out of the car and drapes his warm coat over my shoulders.
We get into the car and I sink into the heated seat.
‘Thank you so much,’ I mumble as he pulls off.
‘Not a problem. Are you okay?’ He asks tentatively, I can hear the curiosity in his voice.
I sigh heavily and tell him my story.
Who Freddy is to me, how we’ve been seeing each other, no strings blah blah blah. How he’s found someone else and I’m okay with it, I just wish he hadn’t dragged me out to the outskirts of the city, just to break things off.
‘I don’t know why I’m even hurt, we haven’t talked in nearly two weeks and it’s not like we ever had feelings for each other. It’s just weird that he slept with me whilst pursuing her, he should have told me sooner.’ I force a laugh and he smiles at me.
‘It’s normal to feel hurt, don’t worry.’ He reaches over and squeezes my leg. ‘He’s an idiot anyway, letting a catch like you go.’
My heart flutters at his words. My hand, I’m maintaining of its own volition, reaches for his hand on my leg and I lace my fingers through his.
We both remain silent on the ride home, but we remain holding hands, too.
I manage to mumble a thank you to him when we get home. Sinn catches my hand as I move to go upstairs.
‘Hey, are you going to be alright?’ He asks softly, a stark comparison to the streams of tattoos flowing up his arms, neck and into his hairline.
‘I’ll be fine, Sinn. Don’t worry, I’m just hormonal.’ I smile at him and he smirks in amusement.
‘Okay, but come back down, I don’t want you moping alone in your room all night,’ he teases and I agree to come join him.
I go upstairs to my room and take my make-up off. I swap my outfit for a comfy t-shirt and pyjama shorts and go to the kitchen to make myself some dinner because I am starving now.
Twenty minutes later, I carry the steaming bowl of pasta into the living room. Sinn is sat on the sofa, watching TV.
‘Mind if I join?’ I ask and he smiles and shakes his head.
He pats the seat next to him.
‘Wanna watch our favourite series?’ He offers and I nod happily.
I eat my food whilst we watch the episodes. We laugh and chat about the characters.
As much as I love Kira, I’ve always had more guys friends. Probably because of my brother. In my experience, I have found that guys come with less drama, or don’t let the drama bother them as much. They don’t have meltdowns that they look too fat or that their dress doesn’t fit before a night out (sucks to be a weight-watcher). But no one is as understanding as Kira when I’m upset or emotional.
(A/N: This is the personal preference of the character. She is not shaming or hating. It is solely the character’s views and don’t reflect my own)
After finishing my food, I wash up the bowl and slide back onto the sofa next to Sinn. As we’re watching the programme, his phone keeps buzzing on the sofa arm.
‘Sure you don’t want to get that?’ I suggest and he glances at the phone.
‘No, it’s just Chad don’t worry.’ He turns the phone screen over so I can’t see it.
Is it really Chad? Or some lucky girl wanting his D?
I don’t blame her, I want his D.
The phone continues buzzing and Sinn scowls before turning the notifications off.
‘He’s really desperate to talk to you,’ I say again, eyeing the phone warily.
Sinn looks embarrassed for a moment, which makes me more curious.
‘He’s at a gig and they want me to join them,’ he says and I consider it for a moment.
Why would he turn down a gig with his friends?
‘Why aren’t you with them? You tired or something?’ I ask and he smirks at me.
‘No, I just didn’t feel like it, they’re gonna be hammered and trying to pull girls all night,’ he explains and I frown.
‘Oh yeah, sounds like every guy’s worst nightmare,’ I joke and roll my eyes, he chuckles at me.
‘I wasn’t feeling it. Besides, someone has to stay and make sure you’re alright.’ He nudges my shoulder playfully with his own and butterflies explode in my stomach.
‘Don’t be silly, I’m fine.’ I shrug and he narrows his eyes at me.
‘Lils, I saw you on the pavement. You were upset and cold and you’d just been ditched by a guy that was supposed to care about you,’ he says evenly, but I can see the anger in his eyes.
‘I’m honestly okay,’ I insist and he presses his lips into a thin line.
‘Okay, but I’m still staying with you tonight. I don’t want you on your own.’
He puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me into his chest.
I don’t resist him, who would?
I lay my head on his chest and we both turn our attention back to the TV.
I can hear his strong, steady heartbeat in my ear. The warmth of his body seeps out of his t-shirt and I wrap my arm around his waist, cuddling into him. For someone so hard and muscular, he is amazing to cuddle. Freddy and I never cuddled, I’ve missed this.
I keep telling myself that this is acceptable because Jett and I cuddled like this before, it can be platonic. If Micah came in, I don’t think he’d even bat an eyelid, because the thought of me getting it on with one of his friends is impossible to him.
I think it would also be because the guys I have dated before have been nothing like his friends, no tattoos or piercing or smoking, they’ve all been guys my mother approved of. She even set me up with some of them.
Secretly, it’s guys like Sinn that I have a weakness for. I just never dared date them before because of my parents, and they’ve usually been friends with my brother so that’s a big no.
At some point, I fall asleep on his chest.
I wake up when Sinn moves. I blink my eyes open and he winces.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.’
‘What time is it?’ I ask and stretch my arms above my head.
The action pushes my breasts out, pressing them against my t-shirt. My nipples are hard and suddenly very prominent, the bars through my nipples are obvious.
His eyes drop down to my breasts, I don’t blame him, they’re right in his face. Completely unintentional, of course.
My cheeks flame pink as his eyes widen, focussing directly on my pierced nipples.
He shakes his head, as if to dispel his thoughts and then swallows hard.
I bring my hair around my shoulders to cover my chest. He grabs his phone and checks the time.
‘It’s just gone 11,’ he tells me, his voice thick with...desire?
‘Okay, I think I’ll go to bed,’ I say and stand up.
He nods silently and turns off the TV.
‘See you in the morning, Sinn, and thank you for collecting me earlier, it meant a lot,’ I tell him, I squeeze his shoulder and head upstairs.
‘Anytime, Lils,’ he says quietly.
I get ready for bed and then collapse into it, sinking into the soft mattress.
Knowing that my period will start tomorrow and I’m going to be out of action down there, I reach into my bedside drawer for my vibrator.
I close my eyes and picture a delicious guy hovering over me. I run my hands up my thighs, skimming over my pussy and up to my breasts, squeezing them. The imaginary man takes the form of Sinn, with tattoos winding over his arms and hands. I picture the inked hands squeezing my breasts instead of my own, playing with my nipples and circling my piercings.
I gasp as desire pools in my belly. With my eyes still tightly closed, my imagination running wild, I slide my right hand down to between my legs.
I tease myself at first, slowly running my fingers up and down my labia, not touching where I want; my clit. With my left hand, I reach for my vibrator and slip it inside me. I shiver with pleasure at the feeling of it stretching me and I begin to pump it in and out whilst my other hand circles my clit.
Within seconds, the first whispers of an orgasm start to build in me. I change tactic, swapping the vibrator to my right hand, I slip it out, flick it on and press the vibrating column against my clit.
The pleasure takes my breath away and seconds later, I’m falling over the precipice. Pleasure streaks through me all the way down to my toes, which curl against the sheets. A moan escapes my lips and I throw my head back.
Once my body has stopped twitching, I push the vibrator back on my clit and as usual, a second, equally as intense but not as long-lasting, orgasm washes over me. I sigh happily and turn the vibe off.
I roll over and fall asleep, dreaming of a man with tattooed skin and dark hair.