To Be Loved...

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Missing Her

Jake’s POV:

I stood watching Stacy and Sam drive away until they were no longer in sight. I know why she had to do this, but it still hurts. I’ve never experienced heartache before, so this was a first for me and a feeling I don’t want to have to feel again. I needed to give her this time, but I can’t wait to have her back in my arms.

It was hard to go back into the house, so I went to work instead. Working always keeps my mind busy and I always had a lot to do, so it didn’t matter to me how long I spent there. I read through messages, read through some new contracts or proposed contracts, signed a lot of papers and reviewed all our current projects.

Just before sunset, I walked over to the window where Stacy would often stand when she came to the office with me. I leaned against the window frame and thought about how I would come up behind her and just hold her as she looked down at the city below. She was always fascinated with the crowds and traffic.

I finally went home around 7:00 and grabbed take out on the way. I sat on the couch and ate while trying to watch TV. I wasn’t used to sitting here without Stacy by my side. Every now and then I would catch myself looking for her until I remembered she wasn’t here.

Then my phone rang and I noticed it was her. I quickly answered the phone and told her ‘hello’. We talked for nearly an hour as she told me about the people she met at her grandparents and the excitement of it all. She told me she missed me already and I told her the same. I told her it is too quiet at home without her here with me. We told each other ‘I love you’ and said goodnight.

I laid down, but had a hard time falling asleep with the empty space beside me. I’ve gotten pretty used to her curling up next to me and holding her throughout the night.

******

I woke up Sunday morning and instinctively reached over to pull Stacy close to me since I couldn’t feel her. I placed my hand on her side of the bed and opened my eyes to emptiness in front of me. I rolled onto my back and sighed. “What has happened to me? I’ve never let anything or anyone get to me, yet alone take over my mind, but I can’t get Stacy out of it. I love her so much and miss her terribly and it’s only been a day.”

I finally dragged myself out of bed and took a quick shower. After getting dressed, I made some toast for breakfast and then went up and sat on the terrace. I admit that I have lived here for nearly four years and I rarely came onto this terrace until I brought Stacy home with me. She loved it up here and I came to spend a lot of time with her. I walked over to the flowers that she and her mom planted not long ago and stopped to smell them. I’ve learned to enjoy everything since being with Stacy and not take anything for granted.

After lunch I called up Jordan to go out for the evening. It has been a while since we did that with the two of us. I had Stacy and he had his new girlfriend, so it was usually three or four of us when he did come over.

While I was waiting to head out, I did some more work from home in my den. As I was putting things away, I found the file that I had in my drawer on Stacy and pulled it out. I looked through it again, and thought about the day I brought Stacy’s parents here to meet her. I heard her yelling as I opened the door and when I saw the missing poster fall, I knew she had discovered the file. I wanted to tell her several times that I had this information and had planned on bringing her family here, but they asked me to be quiet and be patient as they had to figure out how they were going to approach her. I had to respect them as well, but it was hard as hell. I’ve never lied to Stacy and I never intended to hurt her in any way.

I noticed that it was about 7:00 and I told Jordan I would meet him by 8:00 at one of the clubs downtown. I put the file away and headed to the kitchen for a sandwich. I knew I was going to drink, so I wanted to make sure I had something in my stomach before I got there. I took a cab to the club as I didn’t want to drive and Dylan had the rest of the weekend off after getting the rental car yesterday.

I walked into the club and spotted Jordan at the bar and walked over.

“Hey man,” Jordan said as I walked up.

“Hey,” I nodded at him and ordered a drink. We headed up to the VIP section where we usually sit. “It’s pretty quiet here tonight,” I noticed.

“Yeah it is, but it’s kind of nice,” Jordan replied. “So what have you been up to?”

“Not much. Stacy went home with her parents and may be staying for a while,” I told him. “I hate to admit it Jordan, but I really miss her and it’s only been a day.” I chuckled.

“You are so whipped Jake,” Jordan laughed. “I wish I could help you, but you’ll get through it, you always do.”

“I know we will, but…” I paused to gather my thoughts, “I’ve never felt like this before and I don’t know how to feel.”

Jordan laughed again and patted me on the back, “Welcome to the ‘In Love Club’”

“Thanks,” I smirked. We sat and talked about what he has been up to and he talked a lot about his new girl, Dina. I threw back a few drinks, and just enjoyed being out and doing something different tonight.

Jordan and I had several women hit on us throughout the night, but I brushed them all off or told them to ‘get lost’. I had no interest in anyone by Stacy and I wasn’t going to let some sleazy woman try to change that.

Speaking of Stacy, my phone started ringing and I noticed her calling me on a video call and I accepted the call. Jordan excused himself to give me some privacy.

“Hey beautiful,” I answered.

“Hey handsome,” she responded. “I wanted to let you know that we are home in New Salem and I miss you like crazy.”

“I miss you too and glad you made it safe. How is it there?”

“It’s strange. I took a tour of the house and yard and recalled some new things about my past. My room looks just like it did when I was a little girl and I can’t believe my taste back then.” I felt my phone vibrate and a photo came through. “I just sent you a picture of what was in here until I finally boxed it up. I’m going shopping tomorrow to get a new bed set and a small desk.”

“Hannah Montana bed sheets...really?” I chuckled and heard her laugh.

“Yes, Hannah Montana bed sheets. Hey, I really liked her back then and could sing with her on every song.” I laughed again as I continued to tease her. “Look who’s talking. At least I didn’t have Jimmy Neutron bed sheets on my bed.” She teased back.

“Hey! No one was to know about those. Who told you? Wait, let me guess. My mother,” I chuckled.

“No, it was the tooth fairy,” she laughed again. “Of course it was your mother.”

We talked for another hour before we finally said goodnight.

“I love you Jake and will talk to you soon.”

“I love you baby. Have a good night.”

“I’ll try and you as well.” She blew me a kiss and I returned it before we turned off the video.

It was so easy to lose track of time when we are talking. Jordan never came back to the table, but after I ended the call, I found him sitting at the bar talking to some old friends of ours. I walked on over and joined them. We talked for quite a while and around midnight or so, I hailed a cab to take me back home. Jordan joined the ride and we dropped him off first and then I went home and turned in for the night.

******

The next several weeks went pretty slow. I spent more and more time at work each day to help keep my busy to keep my mind from wandering to Stacy. I’d get up by 6:00 every morning and head to the office by 8:00 and usually stayed at the office until 8:00 at night before heading home or going out with Jordan. Occasionally I would head over to Mom’s or hang out with Lizzie, but they would just about Stacy and make it more difficult.

I have accomplished a lot with the company and signed several new clients around the world, but I had to do more to keep my mind occupied. I’ve been pretty hard on my employees, but they have been pretty patient with me. They all noticed my change when Stacy was with me and got to know her when she came in with me. Now, I’m back to my old self when it comes to getting work done and I’m not sure I like that. I know Stacy wouldn’t like it.

I was going to be heading out of the country to finish a project in a couple of weeks and would be gone most of November. I was hoping I could still connect with her, but I didn’t know yet what my schedule was going to look like and with the time difference, how that would work.

Right now we were only talking on the phone or through video chat on the weekends as I wanted her to connect with her family and not focus on me. When we did talk, she would tell me about her ‘road trips’ her cousins took her on and new family members she had met that week. After each call, I would just lay there thinking about some of the things I missed about her:

Missing her! Missing her voice! Her talks! And...Missing her presence!

Even though it hurts, missing her that much lets you know you’re alive and ridiculously in love!

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