To Be Loved...

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A New Life

Six Months Later...

“AAAAHHHHH! MAKE IT STOP!” I screamed as another contraction hit me.

“Breathe baby, you need to breathe,” Jake is telling me while holding my hand.

“I CAN’T BREATHE, IT HURTS!” I yelled back at him, as he rubbed my back with his free hand.

“I’m here baby, you’re doing well,” he kept talking to me as the contraction subsided.

I rested my head back on the bed to catch my breath. I was sweating profusely and my body was exhausted.


I woke up this morning, November 14th, with some pain in my abdomen but I thought it was just some more Braxton Hicks contractions that I’ve had for a couple of days now. When I finished going to the bathroom, I stood up and my water broke. I screamed for Jake who was still in bed and he immediately rushed to me and started panicking.

He was pacing back and forth, while I tried to get dressed and clean the bathroom floor. I told him to grab my bag and the baby’s bag and he ran out of the bedroom without them. So I grabbed them and carried them to the front door. I was having contractions off and on but not too bad...yet.

I finally got Jake to call my doctor and let her know that we were on our way to the hospital. He took the bags and we headed to the car where Dylan was waiting for us after Jake called him as well. I got to the hospital around 7:30 am to get checked in. I was brought to my room and hooked up to all the monitors and checked to see where I was at with dilation, which was only a three at that point.

That was twelve hours ago. I progressed pretty slowly throughout the day. They had me walk the hallways, sit on a big ball, take a shower or just sit on the edge of the bed. The pain wasn’t horrible, but I wanted things to move along.

About an hour ago, they did. The contractions started coming one after the other and the pain was excruciating. I didn’t want an epidural as I wanted to go natural, but I was starting to rethink that decision.


“AAAHHHH” I screamed again as another contraction hit. Jake continued to rub my back while I squeezed his hand until it turned purple.

“1, 2, 3 breathe. 1, 2, 3 breathe,” he tried again to get me to breathe

“I can’t do this anymore Jake, just can’t,” I cried.

“You can baby, I’m here with you and we’ll do this together,” he tried comforting me.

“TOGETHER? YOU TRY GOING THROUGH THIS IF WE ARE DOING THIS TOGETHER,” I yelled back at him, while grabbing my stomach as the pain continued.

I saw him turn away as he started laughing at me. I know he knows this isn’t personal and it’s the pain talking through me, but it hurt like hell and he had no clue just how much.

Just then, Dr. Phillips came into the room to check on me. “Let’s see if we are ready to push this baby out,” she said as she put on her glove and reached in to check to see how far open I was. “You are at a ten, Stacy. On your next contraction I want you to push, count to ten and breathe and repeat three times.” I nodded my head and Jake squeezed my hand in reassurance.

The nurses came into the room as my next contraction started and helped me push. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 breathe,” Jake counted out for me.


“You are doing well Stacy. Take a rest and we will continue. I see the top of the baby’s head, so it shouldn’t be too much longer,” she told me.

“AAAAHHHHHH,” another contraction hit and I pushed and pushed until I heard Dr. Phillips tell me to stop. I looked down and saw the baby’s head out and its eyes open looking at me while the nurse was suctioning her nose and mouth.

“OK Stacy, just one more gentle push,” she urged me.

I pushed and felt the baby leave my body. Dr. Phillips set her on my stomach while she rubbed her with a towel and tied off the umbilical cord. “Congratulations, it’s a girl,” she said and I heard the most beautiful sound in the world: my baby girl’s first cry.

Jake put his head against mine and told me, “You did it baby, our little girl is here.” I released a few tears of happiness as I held onto her and looked into her eyes.

“Jake, would you like to cut the cord?” He nodded and took the scissors and cut the cord separating my daughter and me.

The nurse took the baby to finish cleaning her up, weigh her and measure her while Dr. Phillips removed the remnants of the placenta from me and cleaned me up as much as she could. It was now after 8:30 at night and I was truly wiped out.

The nurse brought the baby back to me and I placed her against the skin on my chest while I played her fingers and her toes and rubbed my fingers over her head that was covered in light blonde hair. Jake cuddled up next to me and did the same.

“We will give you a few moments before we come back to get you cleaned up and in a room for the night. Are you going to breastfeed or bottle feed?” the nurse asked before walking out.

“I’d like to try to breastfeed first, and if I can’t, then try a bottle.” She nodded and left.

“She is beautiful Stacy, just like her mother,” Jake said and I smiled as I agreed with him.

“I can’t believe she is finally here. And Jake...I’m so sorry about the things I yelled at you about.”

“Don’t worry about it baby, I’ll be fine,” he chuckled. “So, what should we officially name her?”

“How about Hope Marie Masterson?” I suggested.

“Hope Marie…” Jake repeated, “I like that.”

“Then that will be her name,” I smiled and looked down at my sweet, sweet Hope.

Hope Marie Masterson

Born November 14, 2021

At 20:32 pm (8:32 pm)

Height: 19 ½ inches

Weight: 7 lbs 2 oz

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