Dies Irae

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My heart shattered. My eyes watered without any hesitation.

It felt like Babe Ruth slammed my stomach with his bat as if it was a baseball and he knew he could land a home run. I wanted to throw up; my throat was tight and burning and I felt like I was suffocating.

“Marcus,” I whispered, my voice cracking and coming out almost mute. My eyes broke, hot tears falling down my face but I didn’t care too mch about that, “Marcus, don’t say that!”

“Calm down, Nes, you’re stressing our bond, our connection will break, I have to talk to you,” he pleaded, rubbing my back to try and console me.

Non!” I denied, shoving my face in his shoulder as I couldn’t control the fervent tears, my shoulders shaking as I felt my legs want to give out.

I felt like I was going to die. I felt like my heart was going to explode. I felt like I was about to choke on my tears. I felt like my body was made of glass and his words were going to break me.

I was feeling too many things.

Despair, sorrow, adoration, hatred. Everything.

I loved seeing my man. Everything in me missed him. Hatred because I was reminded that I was taken away from him. Despair because my only sign of happiness and love was ready to hand himself over. Sorrow because I felt my core shake, distressed.

“Marcus,” I sobbed, my legs giving out, sliding down against him.

My body gave up. Why support myself if there was the idea that Marcus wouldn’t be here? What was the point of that? Why live without anything to look forward to? What was the point in waking up in the morning?

Do you know who woke me up in the morning? My fucking mate. My man. My Marcus. The hunk of love who woke me up to help me adjust to the American time zone in contrast to France.

He didn’t go to grab me to pull me up against him or support me, instead, he sank down with me, holding me tight in his arms as I cried on his shoulder on the ground.

“Please, Ines, just calm down,” he pleaded, kissing my forehead.

I felt the comfort wrap around me in my core, practically suffocating me. I knew he was forcing it. He wanted me calm so he could tell me his terrible idea but I didn’t want to hear a word of it! Not a single lick!

“Marc-” my voice cracked, my tears slowing down due to the peace he was giving me. “Stop!” I denied, going to push away from him but he grabbed my shoulders, keeping me at a forearm’s length away.

He grabbed my cheek tenderly, bringing it to him to force me to look at him. I didn’t want to. Like a petty child, I averted my eyesight so I wouldn’t have to.

“Ines, dear,” he whispered and it made me grimace.

The thought that I’d never be able to hear him call me ‘dear’ again made my heart tug.

“Ines, I’ll always protect you, okay?” he asked and I finally looked at his gorgeous eyes, pained to see me cry and mirroring the sorrow I was bestowing. The only difference was his sorrow was streaming for the sight of me in pain. Mine was because of him and those treacherous words from his lips.

“No,” I whispered, “I don’t want that.”

“Ines,” he frowned, “trust me-”

“I don’t want this! She’ll kill you! Does that not mean anything?”

“No. If you’re safe then I don’t care about what happens to me.”

My lips parted, my eyes creating more tears.

How insensitive could this man be?

I watched as his eye twitched, forgetting he had access to my thoughts.

“Ines,” he growled.

“No, Marcus, this isn’t what’s best! Just leave it be! I’ll be fine! I can handle myself!”

“No, Ines,” he shook his head.

I felt my vision blur and he furrowed his brows, blinking a few times.

“I’ll see you tomorrow dear, but I have news to tell you,” he smiled softly, running a hand over my hair to smooth it, “maybe this will calm you down so we have more time.”

I pouted. I knew with enough panic and stress, I’d be ripped from this scene but I couldn’t control it at this point.

“I don’t want to hear any more news,” I sighed, leaning into him and putting my head on his shoulder. “Your office is so messy.”

He chuckled, “I’m sorry dear, I’ll clean it for you. This is good news, it’s happy, before you came here, I had a visit from someone.”

“Who?” I asked, sniffling as I wiped under my eyes.

“My father,” he said and I pulled back enough to look up at him.

“I thought your relationship was not good?”

“Well, turns out Madden wasn’t my father which would explain the contempt. I got the title and he didn’t, well, I figured out who my father was. Ares, God of War,” my lips parted in shock, my brows furrowing and he smiled at me, pecking my lips. “It’s no secret that the Gods like to come down to foul around with people, my mother happened to be one.”

“Awe, Marcus! I’m so happy for you!” I smiled, hugging him tightly, “how did it go? Was it good? How do you feel about it?”

I felt my vision blur again and he frowned, cupping my cheek.

“It was good, dear, we got along. I’m glad I got to meet him,” he answered softly, “I think I’m losing you,” he pulled me tighter against him, “I love you, Ines. I love you so, so much.”

I felt my eyes water as I frowned, “Marcus, I love you too,” my voice cracked, “I love you more than anything, oui? I love you very much. Over and over.”

“Again and again,” he smiled, delicately wiping away a stray tear that escaped and trickled down my cheek, leaning into my lips.

Our kiss was filled with love and sorrow. It shared every unspoken word and promise between us. His embrace was so warm up until the time we parted, snatched away from his safe clutch.

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