Dies Irae

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Vingt-Quatre

My temperature shot down in a millisecond. I was freezing. It was winter in the summer. The pure agony that struck my body was enough for me to shift back, without any consent. It just happened. My eyes watched as Marcus got cut. His body also shifted back and the impact made him fall back on top of me.

Those damned instincts came back because before we could kiss the ground, he pulled me on top of him so I wouldn’t land on the ground.

Ares, seeing his son get hurt, in a fit of rage, flashed to Hecate and before anyone could really process what happened, ripped her head off. Like clean off. I couldn’t even react to that. My heart was shattered.

The moment his body hit the ground, I didn’t know how or why, but this circle of inferno surrounded us, shooting up to the tops of the trees. No one could enter it. It didn’t even feel hot. I was frozen.

My eyes were already blurry as I looked down at his gash. His lower and top body was almost severed from how deep it was. How severe it was. I couldn’t look at it for long, a sob escaping my lips. It hurt so much.

“Ines…dear…” Marcus called, his voice hoarse.

I looked up at him, concerned. “You’re okay,” I whispered, my voice shaking. “It’s okay.”

He looked at my body, concern in his eyes, “Are you-” he paused, “hurt?”

“Non, non,” I shook my head, another sob raking my body. “Tell me how I can help!” I pleaded, my voice breaking and cracking with every syllable.

He softly smiled, “I love you, Ines. Okay? I… I love you… so much.” I was blinking rapidly, trying to clear my tears so I could see his gorgeous face. “Please…don’t cry, dear…. I hate the...sight.”

“Je suis désolé, désolé…” I choked out, viciously wiping away my tears. “S’il te plaît,” I pleaded. I glanced around, trying to find any type of weapon. I’d kill myself, just like Romeo and Juliet. I didn’t care. I couldn’t bear the idea of living without him.

I’d rather die.

Except every thought reached Marcus and he cringed before pulling me closer to him.

“Don’t!” he growled out, wincing after. “Don’t you dare, Ines.… Lead our pack… And check my off-office...please…. This was…meant to happen…”

I shook my head but when I saw a trail of blood leave his lips, I knew it was over.

“Je t’aime Marcus,” I declared, my voice wavering as he softly smiled. “I love you so much!”

“I love your accent…” he coughed and I panicked. Not wanting him to choke on his own blood, I helped elevate his head, turning him to the side as he spat out more blood. “It’s one of...my favorite sounds… a good way to go…” he mumbled, his eyes fluttering before closing. “Te amo, Ines….” he whispered, opening his eyes slightly, weakly squeezing my hand, “over and over.”

A heavy sob escaped my lips at those words as I nodded my head, “again and again.”

“I’ll see you in your….dreams….Give…. Kiss me….”

I nodded, leaning in and tenderly pressing my lips against his. His blood greeted my lips but I ignored it, savoring the moment only for him to pull away.

“Let… me mark...mark you,” he pleaded softly and I felt my vocal cords strain as I leaned down.

His canines delicately pierced my skin, an intense wave of euphoria washing over me. When he pulled back, he put his lips back on mine.

I felt lightheaded.

Swan song- a final performance, act, or gesture right before one’s retirement or death. A term I always found beautiful and light. I hated it. It was painted red; the white feathers stained eternally with a horrific crimson coating.

When his lips had stilled against mine, I still continued to press mine against his, denial coursing through my veins. Our final kiss broke when my built-up sobs escaped from my lips. I kept trying to kiss him but his lips had turned cold.

My head collapsed on his chest, crying my eyes out. Every time I’d open my eyes, I was greeted with the fire surrounding us which reminded me so much of his eyes- it made me sob harder.

I felt like I was dying. See, that’s the thing about the mate bond. Whatever happens to one, the other one feels as well. It wasn’t even just the pain from his wound, it was the agony of him dying. My soul mate, who was supposed to be with me till the end of time, was leaving me. The fact that his blood was on me made me feel worse. Not because I was dirty (but I knew if Marcus was alive, he’d have a problem with it) but it was because it was his blood. It was sacred and something I never wanted spilled.

Through my blurry vision, I noticed the flames started to die down, a small ring circling us, the flames nothing but an inch tall. I didn’t care. My throat was burning like I drank fire and my esophagus was lined with sandpaper. My eyes were burning too, all these ears drying them out.

Once, the feeling of our skin pressed together was enough to make me orgasm. That night we spent together was filled with a lot of desire, love, and passion. Now, it made me sick. His skin was so cold.

I heard footsteps approach us and I glanced up through my hazy vision. Ares, his father, frowned, kneeling to us. You know what shocked me? The image of a God crying. It was taught to me that Ares was a selfish God who wasn’t liked by anyone except Aphrodite. I guess he had feelings too. I mean, it’s his son. The teary eyes proved it.

“Ines,” he started, placing a hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t touch me!” I sobbed, pushing him away. It wasn’t nice of me but I didn’t know what to do.

“I know, Ines, I know,” he nodded, “It was meant to be.”

I looked up at him with wide eyes, an idea prodding my mind, too consumed with my idea to take offense to his words. “You-you’re a God! Can’t you do anything! Bring him back!” I asked, my voice cracking.

“I’m sorry, I can’t. He’s a demigod, there’s nothing I can do once he dies. Hades already left, he had to deal with those fucking rats,” he cursed, “there was nothing he could do anyway.” As he spoke, he took off his armour, letting it hit the ground.

When it did, the grass around it sizzled, burning for a moment. He took off this shirt, the sleeves shredded, and gave it to me.

“I don’t have a problem with nudity but I don’t want to see my son’s mate’s body. I doubt he’d want that either,” I nodded, swallowing my cries as I shrugged it on, watching as it fell down my body, covering my blood-stained skin. “I’m sorry for your loss. Come here,” he opened his arms and I shook my head.

“I can’t leave him.”

“They’ll take them,” he nodded towards Marcus’s warriors and I frowned, noting how they were all bowing at the death of their Alpha. The reminder made my vision blurry. I felt my head spin. “Ines?” Ares questioned, concerned, reaching out to grab my shoulder.

I felt sick. As if they knew, a symphony of heart-broken howls echoed. Before Ares could grab me, I collapsed against Marcus, passing out. When I woke up, I was in this infirmary. Surprisingly, Ares was sitting in a seat by the bed.

“You’re up,” he nodded, putting down a knife he was sharpening.

I sat up. For a second, I had hoped that I dreamt everything but the void in my core was enough proof that he was gone. I couldn’t help as my heart twisted, softly starting to cry.

“Oh, um,” Ares stood up, coming to me, “don’t cry, Ines. Marcus wouldn’t want that,” he tried to soothe. It made me feel worse because he was right and it made me miss him. “Come here, darling.” Ares wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to his chest.

He was huge. Bigger than Marcus. My tears came out harsher.

“I’m not good with crying females, hopefully, Marcus learned how to comfort you,” he commented, rubbing my back.

I nodded against him. “Oui.”

He pulled back, grabbing my chin, forcing me to look up at him. He softly brushed away my tears. “Ines, Marcus loved you very dearly and if you were in his position, he’d feel ten times worse. He doesn’t handle his emotions very well, he’s a guy. He would’ve died.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better,” I sniffled, “He is dead,” I grimaced, Ares patting my back to try and console me, “Why aren’t I? I’m supposed to be dead? That’s how it goes! If I don’t die then I’ll just lose my mind and die that way!”

“Marcus is a demigod, darling. His time on Earth is done,” he said and I had no clue what he was talking about. I was in distress, complex sentences were hard for me to follow. “You remember that fire when he passed? It’s a symbol that shows that he is not only my son but also that he has moved on to live his rightful life.”

“I don’t understand,” I blinked, wiping away the rest of my tears. “Was I not his rightful life?” I asked, my heart pulling.

“No, no,” he quickly corrected, “maybe I should’ve worded it differently,” he mumbled and I saw his eyes flashed fire before returning to his regular color.

Just like Marcus…

“You’re his destined mate, nothing can change that. He’s a demigod because he’s my son. When a demigod dies, they live on, just not on Earth. Not tangible. Does that make sense to you?” he questioned and I slowly nodded.

“Does the pack know? About his death?” I asked although I figured they already did. When an Alpha dies, the whole pack feels it- the shift.

“It hasn’t been formally announced, that’s for you to do, darling.” I silently nodded, moving to get out of bed.

“Why am I here?” I asked.

“I thought it would be best. You’re not hurt but I brought you here just in case, and so they could clean up the wound. Marcus didn’t,” he shrugged, “I put you under a morphine to help you manage with some of the emotional pain. I didn’t want to give you too much and have you form an addiction or overdose,” he commented as he grabbed my elbows to help me out of bed. “I can take you to your room,” he offered and I nodded out of pure politeness.

I was numb. The reality set in. I was an Alpha-less Luna. I couldn’t have children. I couldn’t give him an heir. What was I supposed to do? Give the title to the Beta? Marcus said ‘Lead our pack’ and I intended on keeping that promise. I just wished we had more time. His last words were ringing in my head. It made my heart hammer. The feeling of his lips against mine was still fresh.

My thoughts made my eyes sting as I walked into our room. I turned to Ares. “I will go get dressed and meet you back out here.”

He nodded and let me part ways. His scent was all over this room. It was a pain to get dressed because it was all around me. The reminder hurt so much.

I dressed in black attire. I felt it- the color. The depth. The emotion. The void. I wished the dress in my hands would just swallow me up. I never craved death this badly. Just from looking at a color, suicidal thoughts reached me. How was I supposed to do this?

It felt like it took forever to get dressed and fixed my red eyes and puffy face, exhausted from all these melancholy emotions. It didn’t matter. Each time I thought I had it, my tears would come back. I gave up, walking out to his father who gave me another hug when he saw the state I was in. I felt bad for him; he had to console this woman while mourning the death of his son. It’d have to hurt him too but he mentioned he was in the afterlife so I’m sure he could see Marcus if he wanted.

“I’m sorry,” I told him when I parted, “for your loss,” I clarified but he shook his head and I took it as a sign to keep quiet.

“Ready? The Beta already called a meeting,” he said.

Right before I said yes, his words rang in my head. ‘Check my office.’ I frowned, closing my eyes to try and keep my tears barricaded in.

“I’m going to stop by his office first,” I said and Ares smiled, nodding.

He silently followed behind me as I made my way down his halls to his office. I was expecting the same mess that was here when I came in my dream (I wasn’t sure what you’d call it in America) but it was empty. The only thing was his desk and the seat I used. I tilted my head, seeing a piece of paper and a red box on his desk. I quickly walked over, moving the chair over to sit and read it.

“Ines, my dear,

If you’re reading this, know I love you. Truly. Forever. Again and again.

I need you to present the letter under this to the pack. I had never officiated you as Luna and I need Irving (Will) to do so. He’ll have no problem doing so. Most of my officials know you and are informed of the fact that you are my mate so there should be no objections. If there are any problems, Irving will handle them as he was instructed.

You are to take over as Luna and no one shall replace you. No beta or gamma. Everything I own is written off in your name and I can have my team go over everything I didn’t get the chance to with you.

You know I love you and I wanted more than anything to call you mine in every way I could. I envisioned a wedding and pups that were as beautiful as you. I wished to do this in person but, since you’re reading this, other acts transpired and that won’t happen.

In the box is a ring. I never had you sized but our beautiful bond urged me to get this size. If you are to accept it, you may take my name. I wish for you to do so but it is your choice and I will never force you to do anything that you wouldn’t want to. If you choose to take the ring, know I love you and I’ll always be with you.

I apologize for how the office looks. I got rid of all the stuff I destroyed. Please decorate however you like. I have people to help get the job done.

Please lead our pack like the Luna I know you are. I love you and I couldn’t ask for a more perfect mate.

Love you for eternity,

Marcus.”

I had to shut my eyes so my tears wouldn’t fall on the paper and ruin his handwriting. I glanced at the letter underneath, picking it up. It even had a post-it note on top that said “present this paper, dear.”

I’d never get to hear him call me that again…

I turned my attention to the little red box, opening it. The urge to cry was strong as I slipped it on my finger, standing up, grabbing the paper. I cleared my throat, swallowing my tears.

“Ready?” I asked. “Are you allowed to be shown?”

“They won’t see me,” he assured as we walked out of the doorway and to the room we were supposed to go in.

The moment Irving saw me walk in, he wrapped me in a tight hug, kissing the top of my hair, comforting me. Just as he let me go, his wife did the same thing. It made me want to cry.

Every so often when I had to read out his paper, I had to pause so I wouldn’t start to sob. Right after, Irving swore me in, my hand on the Sacred book and my other hand held up for an oath.

The next few days were rough. I missed my old self because I used to be so patient but it was running thin and I started to get mad at the smallest things. Reactions were easy to come. Like crying. I didn’t eat. I had no appetite. It had started to show in my face but I wasn’t the one to notice, it was Ares on the third day who made the comment. Before that, my days were filled with news left and right, and Irving and his wife guiding me on what to do for the things that Marcus didn’t explain.

“Ines,” Ares spoke, making me jump in my seat.

I had to order new furniture. The second day I sat on the ground, sobbing my eyes out in pure turmoil.

“Ares,” I stood, bowing my head in respect.

“Have you been eating? Your face looks thinner,” he frowned, taking a step towards me. When I didn’t confirm or deny his guess, although it was correct, he gave me a disapproving look. “You have a complaint,” he stated, going over to the desk and sitting on the side, “Marcus wants you to sleep. I agree with him-”

“Wait what? Marcus said that? Can he see me?” I asked, looking behind me as if I’d see him.

“I’m not telling you anything,” he shook his head, “it’s late. Go to sleep. It’s not healthy. Think about what Marcus would want,” he nodded.

He left after that and I listened to him, finally going to bed.

“Ines, dear,” I heard a familiar voice call and I opened my eyes.

Sitting up, I spoke. “Marcus?” I asked because that’s what the voice sounded like.

“Focus on the bond, Nes,” he said and I did it so quickly, eager.

Even if this was just a dream, I was elated.

When I opened back up my eyes, Marcus was in front of me, a smile on his face. I couldn’t contain the squeal of happiness that left my lips as I jumped on him, wrapping my arms around his neck, my legs circling his waist. He chuckled, pulling me closer against him, kissing my neck. I felt tingles. Like physically.

I pulled back, my eyebrows together. “Marcus, is this a dream?” I asked, “I feel our tingles.”

“No, dear,” he put me down, “let’s sit down, I have a lot to tell you.” I nodded as he grabbed my hand walking out our bedroom door into the living room.

We’re in our room?

He turned on the light, sitting down on the sofa, and pulling me down to sit in his lap. “Technically, you’re not dreaming. I’m not sure what it is, Ares never specified, but when you sleep, I can see you. He told me that before everything,” he admitted and the reminder made my eyes water. He quickly calmed me through our bond, cupping my face. “Don’t cry, please.”

I shook my head, silently apologizing. “But I watched you die!” I whispered.

He nodded. “I know, I’m sorry you had to see that but it was a good memory to have my loved one with me.” I pouted at his words, hugging him tightly for a moment. “Speaking of sleeping, my dear, I’ve been waiting for days. Why weren’t you sleeping?”

I glanced down, “I couldn’t. Just a little depressed after that.”

A little depressed was such a gigantic understatement.

He chuckled at me. “Ares told me it looked like you hadn’t been eating,” he said, cupping my cheek as he noticed. I saw his eye twitch but he took a deep breath before he spoke. “Ines, I don’t like that. You need to eat.”

“I just have no appetite,” I confessed, “Marcus, how am I supposed to be your Luna? I can do it but we don’t have a child! Who is supposed to take the title afterward,” he frowned at my words.

“I know,” he said, “I think we can still have sex. I’m not sure if you can get pregnant but it wouldn’t hurt to try. If not, I’ll see if I can do something, I’ll talk to Ares,” he suggested.

“We can?” I asked, blinking, “Marcus…” I trailed, not knowing what to say, “can we try right away? Because the longer we wait, the farther the birth date will be and people might question it,” I felt my throat tighten, “I do not want people to think I was infidel to you or our bond. It’d hurt your image.”

“Never,” he pecked my lips, “kill them if they do.”

For the first time, I didn’t scold him or correct him. I just leaned in, kissing him. We didn’t part for a while, simply soaking in each other's love. I missed him so much. Even if it was only a few days. It took such a toll on me. It was terrible but this moment made me feel better.

“Can I see you every night?” I asked, my breathing ragged.

“I’ll be waiting,” he squeezed my hips.

“I don’t understand this,” I admitted, “I hope this isn’t a dream…”

He shook his head, denying it. “It’s not. This is real-time. I’ll ask Ares more about it and tell you tomorrow,” he promised. “Do you want to have sex?” he asked and I couldn’t help but smile. “We can try to have a pup but I’m not sure if it’d work.” Marcus softly rubbed my arms and I nodded. “I don’t know if we can do it on the bed, I don’t know if it’d affect everything. I’ll have to ask Ares, he’s been dealing with a lot so I don’t get to see him often.”

“I’m sorry,” I frowned, “I’m sure he doesn’t mean it,” I comforted, placing my hand on his face, feeling his short stubble under my hands. I was in love with the feeling.

“He doesn’t,” he confirmed, “I don’t mind. Let’s get back to you,” he purred, running his hand under my shirt, cupping my breasts as I never wore a bra to bed.

My eyes fluttered, moving so I was straddling his lap, pressing more against him. He leaned in, pressing wet kisses along my collarbone as he slipped down the silk tank-top sleeves.

“Marcus,” I softly breathed, my hands grabbing his shoulders as he started to kiss down to my chest and my exposed breasts.

“I don’t know if we can go on the bed,” he whispered, glancing up at me before taking my nipple in his mouth.

“Oh,” I rolled my eyes, missing the feeling and the tingles from our bond, “the couch is fine,” I mumbled.

At my words, he switched our positions so I was under him. I could tell he was rushing but I didn’t really mind. I was just as needy and partially scared that we’d run out of time and even though he said we’d see each other again- after literally watching him die in my arms, I was traumatized and hurting. Seeing him made me happy and I was scared that I’d wake up and never see him and go back to the lonely woman I was.

We got undressed so quickly and the feeling of his warm skin against mine was heavenly. It was such a contrast from the freezing skin that was scarred in my mind from a few days ago.

“Marcus,” I whispered, softly pulling his face up from my pelvis that he was leaving hickeys on, “S’il te plaît,” I pleaded, watching as his pupils dilated.

“Fuck me,” he groaned, leaning down to place his lips on mine as he lined his tip at my entrance, shoving himself in me, enjoying as a sharp moan escaped my lips against his.

He pulled away from my lips, harshly thrusting into me as my hands squeezed his arms in pleasure. “Marcus, merde,” I breathed, my back arching as I felt my walls tense around him.

“What a dirty mouth,” he purred, cupping my face, running his thumb over my bottom lip. “You’re so beautiful, Nes,” he groaned as I felt myself tense up as he stilled. “Shit,” he breathed, his body relaxing, putting more weight on me as he hugged me.

It was a little challenging to breathe with his weight on me but I enjoyed the contact. I missed the feeling of his perspiration on his back so much. It was the little things that I would never think twice of. My arms wrapped around his neck as he nuzzled his head between my shoulders, kissing the skin.

“Would our pups have an accent?” he asked, slowly pulling out and switching us so I was on top as he wrapped his arms around me.

I shrugged. “I don’t know,” I answered truthfully, “I hope not.”

“Why would you say that?” he asked, offended.

“I don’t think people like me-”

“What-”

“No, let me finish,” I rubbed my hand over his chest. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know how but when you spoke of your other father-”

“Madden,” he called, “don’t call him my father,” he politely corrected.

“Je suis désolé,” I nodded, “but you said people didn’t like him because he was not an American. I,” I paused, closing my eyes so I wouldn’t cry. My emotions were out of whack recently. “I just don’t know what to do,” I forced out.

“Hey, hey,” he rubbed my back, “everything will be fine, Nes. You’re my mate, no one will say anything.”

“Everyone respects you,” I lightly chuckled, “but I don’t think they like me.”

“They’re probably just mourning. They’ll come around, I promise. I mean, look how you took it, I didn’t get to see you for three days,” he slightly scolded, “the marks pretty solidifying,” he said, “oh! That reminds me. Do you like the ring?” he asked, grabbing my hand.

I smiled, “I do, it’s gorgeous,” I pecked his lips. “Can I get you one?”

“I’m not a fan of diamonds,” he joked, “you don’t have to get me anything, I’m content with you just here and happy.”

We were silent for a while. Just enjoying each other’s presence.

“I hope we can have pups,” I quietly mumbled.

“If you could pick, what would you have? A boy or girl?” he asked.

“Either as long as it’s happy and healthy,” I answered.

He gave me a long kiss. “Good. I hope we can but it’s no big deal if we can’t,” he tried to shake off but I could tell it bothered him. In fact, he seemed a lot more calm.

We stayed together for the rest of the night, kissing each other and often having sex. At one point I fell asleep and when I woke up, I was back in our bed, no Marcus by my side. For a moment, I thought I dreamt it but when I was getting changed, I noticed hickies along my pelvic area.

After I got dressed, I stopped by the dining hall, telling Irving and May that I’d be leaving early. I finally ate, although not much, purely for Marcus. I just genuinely wasn’t hungry but seeing him last night did make me feel a lot better.

I knocked on the pack doctor’s door before opening it. He was treating a large flesh wound on one of the warriors, finalizing the stitches. He looked over at me when he heard me enter.

“Luna,” he nodded and I was thankful he respected me. I met him when Marcus showed me the training grounds. Maybe if people saw others then they’d be more inclined. “What can I do for you today? Are you feeling well?” he asked as the warrior left and I noticed he nodded his head towards me.

It made me feel proud.

“May I sit?” I asked, nodding towards the bed.

“Of course, let me change the paper,” he said, quickly doing so.

“So, before the Alpha’s passing,” I worded carefully, noticing as his eyes became sad, “the Alpha and I have had some intimate moments,” I nodded, not comfortable with telling other people about our sex life.

In my opinion, that was between us. It wasn’t for others to peek into. Like the time I got mad at Marcus for saying what he said to that one guy about fucking me. I didn’t think it was appropriate.

“Okay, I understand what you’re saying,” he confirmed, taking a seat in his chair, putting some sanitizer on.

“Well, I’ve been feeling some cramps here,” I told him, my hand going to my ovary area. It wasn’t a lie, I knew I had to be truthful because wolves could detect a lie but it wasn’t. I mean, I didn’t think I was pregnant, not from the time we had sex, we wore protection. I did feel cramps because I was without my mate. “I heard that is an early sign.”

“You are correct,” he clarified, “it can be a sign of pregnancy or your period.” He reached over and grabbed a clipboard. “When was the last time you had your period?”

“About two and a half months ago,” I answered.

“Okay, so you’re right on that line. Do you usually come early? Is your cycle normal?” he continued.

“It is.”

“Okay…” he paused to write, “well, I can give you a test today and I’ll take your weight, blood pressure, you know, all the normal things to ensure you’re healthy. You won’t have results until about three to four days.”

I nodded and he gave me a blood test before doing a check-up.

That night, I told Marcus everything.

“You do have cramps?” he asked, tilting his head, “I wore a condom that time and you wouldn’t feel symptoms until three days to two weeks after.”

“No, I know,” I nodded, squeezing his hand, “I just thought, for the record, if I mention it, it would not raise questions.”

“Oh,” he nodded, “so you don’t have cramps?”

“Here and there but it’s just my wolf, the bond, and my mourning. I know I can still see you but it just confuses and hurts another part of me.”

“I’m sorry, dear.” He pulled me closer. “I talked to Ares. He said, technically, it shouldn’t be allowed but he can make it happen,” he said before standing up and walking back into the room, going to his nightstand.

This area of liminality had Marcus’s exact room. He could leave it but it would branch off to a kitchen and dining area with one door that would lead to his father’s quarters. Ares lived on Mount Olympus so it wasn’t a room there. He had explained it better to Marcus. He also said that it was fine to be on the bed and it wouldn’t affect my sleeping being, I would only go back when I go to sleep or my other being was woken up.

“He said to take this,” he held up a vial of this reddish-pink drink that seemed to shine in the light. “You take it,” he said, uncapping it and giving it to me, “he said the quicker the better because it needs to affect the sperm and egg. The best time to take it is when the sperm reaches the egg and then once you take it, it will increase the chances of fertilization,” he explained as I downed it, giving him back the empty container. “Taste good?”

“Sweet,” I smiled and he grinned at me, rubbing my shoulder. “Your mark looks so good on you,” he murmured, rubbing the area. I gave him a soft smile.

“You said it shouldn’t be allowed?”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter. He said it’s fine because I’m technically not dead and it’s something about being a demigod,” he said, sitting down on the bed, patting the area beside him, telling me to sit. “It’s so weird to have him call me that.”

I lightly laughed, nodding.

“Do you want to try again?” he asked, placing his hand on my thigh.

“What about you? I feel bad, it won’t have a father,” I paused, my eyes watering. “I already feel bad and I don’t know if I want to put a child through that,” I said, my voice straining, some tears slipping out.

“Hey, Nes,” he frowned, softly cooing as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders to pull me closer to him. “Why do you feel bad?”

“I feel like I got you killed,” I admitted, a sob escaping my lips, “like it’s my fault, Marc.”

“Ines,” he breathed and he sounded slightly angry, I felt it through the bond, “don’t say that, it pisses me off. I’m sorry, please don’t get hurt by my words, but you didn’t do anything. If I didn’t want it to turn out this way, I would’ve never done it, okay?”

I softly sighed, the rest of the time filled with him kissing away my tears and then having sex. It’s how most of our nights were filled.

Finally, when I got my blood test back and it read negative, I asked for another one. I was in tears when he told me it was positive. Marcus and I cried that night, utterly happy.

I found out we were having a boy so naturally, Marcus and I started to talk about names.

“I always liked the name Quirinus,” Marcus said.

“What is that? Like nationality?”

“It’s Roman. I think the word is origin, not nationality. His nationality would be a blend of American, French, and my Roman-Greek-Latin roots,” he explained and I laughed. “I also like Mars, you know why.”

I nodded. “I thought your dad was Greek?”

“He said that the Greek Gods and Roman Gods were the same and that the two nations were just so petty between each other that they just did things to make the other look bad,” he shrugged.

“Oh...I like Kane but it’s not any of that. If we do French, I enjoy the names Cheney, Lucien, Beaufort, and Quennel,” I smiled as he chuckled.

“Look at you, naming off the whole Brady Bunch as if we’re going to have sixteen children,” he shook his head, amused. “I hate Beaufort, let me get that name out of your head now. I hate it so much,” he laughed with me to lighten the mood. “I like the ‘Q’ sound so Quennel is possible.”

I nodded. “What origin do you want for his name?”

“Oh, it doesn’t really matter to me,” he said, “I want you to write down a list of names and I’ll write down a list of names and we exchange them and choose the ones we like?”

The debate went on for some days. We even had his father chime in.

“Well I’m obviously biased…” he said, trying to stay out of it because he had such a short temper.

“That’s what I told her but she insisted.”

“I do like Kane better than these names,” Ares said, tapping my paper. “Marcus, I hate the name Kale. Is your pup a pup or a plant?”

Marcus gave him a look, insulted.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he quickly said, “I just don’t like it. I was here for my opinion.”

In the end, he narrowed it down to Kane and Quirinus. He said he didn’t like Quennel and if we wanted to do a name with the ‘K’ sound but starting with a ‘Q’ that Quentin was an option because of the sound and because it was French and Latin.

When the five months finally passed, I was ready to give birth. I was so happy to feel accepted in the pack. Marcus had explained to me that he could find a way to be in the room while I give birth, but I’d be the only one to see him. Much like how it was when Ares stopped in.

Oh, he was so beautiful, it made me cry. So perfect. We named him Kane Q Augustus. Putting ‘Q’ was so much easier than deciding between Quirinus and Quentin. At one point, we debated on hyphenating it but we thought it looked too long and silly.

Marcus told me to get a painting done and have it hang in the office so Kane could see the family unit. I told him we never had a picture taken for reference but he said he did and I’d just have to pose and so would Kane. I have to say, it did seem to work because Kane identified him as his father. Marcus said hopefully he could see Kane like how he saw me so he could have a relationship with his son. It made me so happy.

The pack loved him. Adored him. He was the perfect blend of us but really was Marcus’s son because they acted so similar. And, boy, did he have his father’s temper. It was okay though because I had a boat-load of patience and always took a gentle approach with him. Honestly, there were times I spent an hour and a half on the floor trying to get him to calm down. He always got so frustrated when he couldn’t so we had to start naming emotions to get him through his episodes. It worked pretty well but even with Marcus, I could never put out his fire. Not that I minded, I loved it because it made him who he was.

-

There were some loves that were so powerful that not even death could break them. Homosapiens always seemed to crave that. They never seemed to perfect it but the inspiration was there.

“Till death do us part.”

They never really had it down. I knew that homosapiens always looked for their soulmate but if they truly were your soulmate, ‘till death do us part’ wouldn’t be able to break your bond.

Marcus and I had that unbreakable love. It was beyond anything. I cherished it each and every day. I always wanted someone to love and return the feeling and that’s what Marcus gave me. Over and over. Again and again.

--

-The End-

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"Dies Irae"

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